England loved drinking tea. It was like a sport to him. Except that sports don't burn your tongue like hell!

"BLOODY FUCK" he ranted and slammed his tea on the table (causing it to spill all over the place) "IT BURNS LIKE HELL! I mean, I should know. I've been to hell once and met Satan. Not a bad guy..."

England was into black magic because he's British.... That doesn't make sense. WHY?

Certain American happened to walk by.

Did I mention that they were in a world meeting? No...? Uh

Well, they're in a world meeting

America walked by the English man while devouring a burger, taking his time to taste the deliciousness of...gross.... fake meat... (Guess where he bought it at)

"MAOFBDIFBSLCBS" He greeted England

"ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER. DO YOU SPEAK IT?"

America swallowed the burger and flashed a very dumb heroic grin

"SUP,  IGGSTER!"

England rolled his eyes and went back to his te- fuck, he spilled it. It would be hilarious if some idiot slipped on it tho- JEEZUS!

He turned his head just in time to see the dumb country he raised (yes,  I just had to include that) slipping in slow motion behind his chair

America was laying on the floor like a dying elephant... Or a dying animal... or something dying

England ran to his help,  but was slightly relieved to see that he was laughing,  though it was kind of difficult to do since he was pretty much in pain

"Are you okay,  you dipshit?! "

"HAHAHAHAHA NOPE! I THINK I BROKE MY SPINE"

SO HE WAS RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL EVEN THOUGH COUNTRIES DON'T NEED THEM

"Mr. Jones,  it seems like you have an extreme case of... "

"Of what,  doctor?!"

"I-I...I can't-"

"YES WE CAN- I MEAN YOU!"

"..... You're fat"

"NOOOOOOO"

America sobbed his tears of sadness and turned to England who was there visiting because... uh... "he just happened to walk by" 

"England... "

"I heard...."

"I'm gonna die"

"Yes,  y- Wait what the fuck?"

"But before I leave this world... There is something I need to tell you"

"YOU'RE NOT DYING YOU ASSFLICK"

"The reason I declared independence..... was.... because..... "

"*INTENSE GLARING*"

"..... B-Because I couldn't stand seeing you as a brother.... I wanted you to be much more than a brother-"

"OMFG I LOVE YOU TOO,  BUT YOU'RE AN IDIOT"

".... I  was gonna say I wanted you to be my inseparable hommie but LMAO WHATEVER"

"......"

An thus,  they started dating with absolutely no information on why or when... just time skips to when  they're a happy couple

TimeSkip

They were a happy couple...

Until America got kidnapped and murdered by a mysteriously mysterious mystery Russian guy

England was so depressed... He began drinking (again) and was so very depressed...

Until a certain Frenchman ohonhoned into his life and turned it brighter...

Actually,  wAY TOO BRIGHT WHY WON'T THE LIGHT JUST SHUT UP

France and England began as frenemies,  but since England was completely broken,  he considered staring a relationship with him  just because

They always quarreled a whole fucking lot but had make up sex after

They adopted Sealand as their son and they were a happy family...

The F.A.C.E family...

Wait no

The...

F.S.C.E.....

....

Never mind

But then they all died in an explosion the end