The moment Ara saw Antoinette's cute little face, her heart calmed. She felt exhausted and the only one who could make her feel okay was sleeping soundly inside their room. As much as she wanted to kiss her daughter, she didn't.

"So, how was your girl date?" Samuel asked.

Belle gazed at Ara. "It was okay."

"Bakit parang hindi ka sigurado?" Nagsalubong ang kilay ni Sam habang nakatingin kay Belle. May mali sa tono ng boses ng kapatid niya lalo na at nakatingin ito kay Ara. "Ara, are you okay?"

"I am. How's Antoinette, Kuya Sam? Nagkulit ba ulit siya?" Sinubukan ni Ara na ibahin ang usapan dahil alam niyang mahahalata siya ng kuya niya. Nilingon niya si Belle na nakatingin sa kaniya. "Anyway, I have to tell you something, Kuya."

Tumango si Sam. Ibinaba nito ang basong hawak sa bar counter at seryosong nakatingin kay Ara. "Ano 'yon?"

Sumandal si Belle sa pader at pinagkrus niya ang braso habang nakatingin sa kakambal niya. Hindi siya sigurado kung sasabihin ba talaga nito sa kuya niya dahil hindi naman siya nagtanong. Hindi niya itinanong kay Ara dahil ayaw niyang maging uncomfortable ito sa kaniya.

"Ara, ano'ng nangyari? Is there a problem?" Lumapit si Sam at hinaplos ang pisngi ni Ara bago tumingin kay Belle. "Belle?"

"Kuya. . ." Nakagat ni Ara ang ibabang labi dahil kinakabahan siya sa posibleng maging reaksyon ng kuya niya. "I. . . I met Antoinette's father," aniya habang nakayuko.

Hindi sumagot ang kuya niya kaya nag-angat siya ng tingin. Sumandal ito sa bar counter, nakapamulsa ang dalawang kamay sa magkabilang bulsa ng pantalon, at nakatingin sa kaniya. Mukhang naghihintay ng susunod pa niyang sasabihin. Nilingon niya si Belle na binigyan siya ng isang tango.

"We've met and I decided to let him into Antoinette's life," Ara said without buckling. "I wan—"

"Are you ready for this? I am not," pag-aamin ni Sam. "I get that you want him involved, but where was he during your pregnancy, birth, and while Antoinette's growing up? We don't even have the slightest idea who he was."

Ara was staring at Sam, observing him. Nakakunot ang noo nito habang nakatingin sa kaniya, halatang hindi nagustuhan ang sinabi niya. Nanatili itong nakasandal sa bar counter habang naghihintay ng sagot. Wala rin siyang masabi dahil parang may nakabara sa lalamunan niya at hindi na alam kung ano pa ang tamang salita.

Iyon ang iniisip niya habang nasa sasakyan sila pauwi ng condo, kung paano sasabihin sa kuya niya ang tungkol kay Kanoa.

"We never asked you about him. Ako ang kasama mo rito sa condo, pero wala akong idea. This is one thing I'd been dying to ask, but didn't to protect your peace," Sam paused and shook his head. "And now . . . you're telling me that you met him and that you're letting him touch Antoinette?"

"Kuya," Belle interrupted.

"No, Belle. I deserve to know. Una sa lahat, gusto kong malaman kung bakit sa umpisa pa lang, hindi mo na pinakilala sa 'min ang father ni Andra. What was wrong with him? What happened to you both? I wanna know before I'll agree with him entering my niece's life."

Belle noticed that Ara hid her hands behind her and started scratching the back of her hand using her fingernails. Ara was breathing heavier, too, and she knew she had to step in. Gets niya ang mga tanong ng kuya niya, pero hindi niya kayang makitang ganito ang sitwasyon ng kakambal niya.

Lumapit siya kay Ara at hinaplos ang magkabilang pisngi ng kakambal niya. "Go inside and rest. We had a rough day today. Just make sure to take bath before kissing Andra."

"Belle, I'm not yet done," Sam said in a low voice.

Patagilid na tiningnan ni Bell ang Kuya niya habang hawak pa rin ang magkabilang pisngi ni Ara. "I know, but we can talk about this later. Ara's unwell. She needs to rest and I'm craving some fried oreos, Kuya Sam. Do you have a vanilla ice cream?"

Sam nodded and breathed hard. "Meron. I'll make some," aniya at tumalikod na.

Belle faced Ara. She lightly pinched her twin's cheek. "Go ahead. Mag-sleep ka na muna and then we'll talk later, okay? Kuya Sam needs your explanation and you're gonna must give that to him. But first."

"Are you still gonna be here?" Ara asked lowly. "Please, be here?"

"I will. Now, go. Maligo ka muna para hindi mo ma-transfer 'yong dirt kay Antoinette, okay?" Belle squished Ara's hand. "I'll eat fried Oreos na."

Tumango si Ara at nilingon muna ang kuya niyang nasa kusina. Nakatalikod ito kaya naman pumasok na siya sa kwarto nang hindi nagpaalam at pagsara ng pinto, sumandal siya roon at pumikit.

Ara didn't want to disappoint her Kuya Sam, and she was afraid he would hate her after what happened but couldn't help but think about Kanoa as well.

Her eyes pooled with tears when she remembered how Kanoa kneeled, how he begged, and she her heart ached because it was too much for her.

She stared at Antoinette who was sleeping and thought about Kanoa. Their encounter was far from what she imagined, and she didn't even expect that he was even interested about meeting their daughter.

Pumasok sa bathroom si Ara at sandaling tinitigan ang sarili sa salamin. Hinaplos niya ang buhok niya, ang pisngi niya, pati na ang mata niyang hindi tumitigil sa pagluha. Gustuhin man niya, pero hindi niya magawa.

Ramdam niya ang pagod. Halos wala naman siyang ginawa bukod sa magkalakad at mag-travel papunta't pauwi, pero para siyang nabugbog. Nanlalata siya at gusto niyang matulog.

—

Maingat na sinara ni Belle ang pinto ng kwarto ni Ara at Antoinette nang maabutang mahimbing na natutulog ang dalawa. Basang-basa pa ang buhok ni Ara na nagmarka na sa unan habang tinatapik pa nito ang likuran ng anak.

"She's sleeping na," ani Belle at naupo sa sofa katabi si Sam na seryosong nakatingin sa TV. "Kuya, are you mad at me?"

Hindi sumagot si Sam, pero alam ni Belle na malalim ang iniisip nito.

"Kuya?" pagkuha niya sa atensyon ng kuya niya. "Kasi, I think we need to support Barbara about this one."

"Do you know him?" Sam gazed at Belle and his eyes looked droopy.

Belle nodded slowly. "Yes, but I won't say anything about him. You should personally ask Barbara about this."

Sam shook his head. "I'm not okay with this. I have a bad feeling about him. Kahit hindi ko pa siya nakikilala, I know there's something's off about that guy. Barbara never mentioned his name or anything about him . . . 'tapos biglang ganito?"

Yumuko si Belle at inikot-ikot ang phone na hawak niya. Nakaramdam siya ng takot sa posibleng maging reaksyon ng kuya nila kapag nalaman kung sino si Kanoa. Ara already told her about the dare, and she was mad about it. What more if Sam would know about it, that their baby girl was played and swayed then betrayed?

What more if Sam found out about the sex scandal that went viral? Belle was thinking about this, too. Imposibleng hindi nalaman ng kuya niya ang tungkol doon dahil nag-ingay iyon sa social media.

Belle wasn't prepared. Alam niyang mabait si Sam, alam niyang hindi ito ang tipo ng taong bigla na lang manununtok o sisigaw, pero ibang usapan dahil si Barbara ang involved. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang puwedeng mangyari kung sakali mang magkaroon ng pagkakataong magkakilala ang dalawa.

"I don't trust him," Sam said seriously.

"Kuya, we have no idea what happened to them," Belle breathed trying so hard to find the right words. "I think it's best na we'll listen to Barbara first. We should listen to her. After everything, w—"

"Exactly." Tumingin sa Sam kay Belle. "After everything na nangyari kay Ara, do you think I'll even let that man lay a hand on her? Hindi ko pa alam ang rason kung bakit sila naghiwalay o kung sino siya, ayaw ko na sanang lumapit siya kay Barbara."

Inihiga ni Belle ang ulo sa balikat ng kuya niya. Naramdaman niya ang pagkakahalik nito sa noo niya ngunit walang sinabing kahit na ano. "I know that it'll be hard, Kuya, but we need to be open for Barbara."

"Wala naman akong choice, right? Since I found out about Barbara's pregnancy, palagi kong iniisip kung sino at nasaan ang lalaking 'yon. Palagi kong iniisip kung bakit ganito ang nangyari kay Ara? Bakit siya mag-isa? Bakit kailangan niyang mag-isa," pagpapatuloy ni Sam. "Hindi ko alam kung ready akong makilala siya, kasi ramdam ko 'yung galit sa lalaking 'yon bilang kapatid ni Ara."

"Kuya," mababa ang boses ni Belle at muling tiningnan ang kuya niya. Seryoso itong nakatingin sa TV nang makita niya ang pagbagsak ng luha nito. "Hey, Kuya."

Yumuko si Sam at ginamit ang hinlalaki para punasan ang luha sa mata niya. "Growing up, you both know how I tried to protect you. I want you both to feel what it's like to be treated right . . . kung puwede lang na huwag kayong saktan, susubukan ko, so when this happened to Barbara, hindi ko alam kung saan ako nagkulang."

"Kuya, Ara is a grown-up woman when this happened, and wala kang kasalanan," Belle assured her Kuya and held his hand. "She decided on her own. You shouldn't blame yourself."

"I know," Sam said and looked at Belle. "But witnessing her suffer for two years, I can't help it. I should've done more."

Umiling si Belle at hinaplos ang pisngi ng kuya niya. "No. The reality is there is nothing you can do," ngumiti siya. "Now, listening will help. Let's see and hear what Barbara's plans and if you have anything against it, let her know. She listens naman, Kuya."

Walang narinig na sagot si Belle mula sa kuya niya. Nagpaalam na muna siya at pumasok sa kwarto kung saan siya natutulog para magpahinga. Tinawagan niya si Sayaka.

Nagtanggal ng make-up si Belle habang nakahiga habang kinukuwento kay Sayaka ang nangyari pati na rin kung ano ang nakita niya habang nag-uusap sina Ara and Kanoa. Pareho naman silang may hint kung sino ang daddy ni Andra, pero wala lang talagang confirmation.

"I wish you were here para naman you can comfort me!" Belle pouted.

Sayaka smiled and bit her lower lip. "How's your Kuya Sam coping up?" she asked.

"Well," Belle frowned. "He's a little mad and ayaw niyang ma-meet the guy and I am seriously nervous once they meet. Parang I don't wanna be there to see the look on his face just in case he met Kanoa and he'll know what the heck he did."

"For sure naman Sam—Kuya Sam will understand," Sayaka chuckled. "I got some chocolates!"

Belle got up from the bed and stared at Sayaka. "Wait! Are you going home? Oh my gosh, when?"

"Oh, no! Your kuya will come here sa Japan for a certification, right?" Sayaka frowned.

"Huh?" Belle tried to recall if Sam said something about leaving. "He didn't say anything naman about leaving. I'll ask Ara if she knew."

Sayaka panicked. "Oh, baka hindi pa sure? If ever man na he'll go here, I'll just give my pasalubong. What's Ara's favorite chocolate recently?"

————

Ara was looking down while eating. Ito na siguro ang pinakatahimik na dinner na silang tatlong magkakapatid ang makakasama dahil hindi nawawala ang kuwentuhan sa kanila sa tuwing kumakain.

Hindi nagsasalita si Sam, nakikiramdam si Belle, at hindi naman alam ni Ara kung paano kakausapin ang kuya niya. Ilang beses na siyang gumawa ng scenario kung paano niya kakausapin ang kuya niya.

Antoinette was beside Ara eating her mashed potatoes. Katabi rin naman nito sa kanang upuan si Sam na nilagyan pa ng steamed carrots and broccoli ang pinggan ng anak niya.

Since Antoinette was born, Sam was with Ara. Mali... dahil kahit nasa tiyan pa lang ang anak niya, magkasama na sila.

"Kuya," Ara broke the silence. "I'm sorry for deciding without even consulting you."

Sam forced a smile and looked at her without saying a word. It was harder. Ara wanted to hear more from Sam, something painful. She wanted her Kuya Sam to scold her, but nothing and it made her feel worse.

"I know that you're mad at me and I'm really, really sorry about everything, Kuya," Ara murmured.

Ibinaba ni Sam ang kutsara't tinidor sa magkabilang gilid ng pinggan bago tumingin sa kaniya. "Belle was right. Nasa edad ka na and whatever your decision will be, it's you. Sana tama na 'yung magiging desisyon mo ngayon kasi ayoko nang makita kang umiiyak na naman, Ara. Tama na 'yung dalawang taon at kung sino man siya."

Nakayuko si Belle habang nakikinig.

"We dated during my last year sa college. Partners us sa isang subject and we worked together until . . ." Ara tried to calm herself. Remembering the past wasn't a good idea, but she had to. "I dated him in secret and no one knew about it. Just his friends."

Kumportableng sumandal si Sam sa dining chair habang nakatingin kay Ara. "Why'd you keep it?"

"Because . . . because . . ." Ara bit her lower lip. "Because he's not a good guy."

"Then why date him?" Sam shook his head in disbelief. "Ara, you could've dated anyone who's nice an—"

"But they're not him," she said lowly. "I loved him. . ."

Hindi sumagot si Sam kaya nakakuha ng pagkakataon si Ara para isalaysay sa kuya niya ang tungkol sa nangyari sa kanila ni Kanoa lalo na kung bakit sila naghiwalay. Kita niya ang pagsalubong ng kilay nito, ang malalim na paghinga, ang pagtiim ng bagang, at paminsan-minsang pagkuyom ng kamao.

Ara and Belle knew that Sam didn't like what he just heard.

"And you're still letting him into your life?" Tumaas ang boses ni Sam na ikinagulat ni Belle lalo nang tumingin si Antoinette kay Sam na mukhang nagulat din. "Who's he?"

Tumayo si Belle. "I'll take Antoinette. We'll be in my room na lang muna so guys can talk."

Sinundan ni Ara ng tingin si Belle at Antoinette na papasok sa kwarto bago niya ibinalik ang tinign kay Sam na nakatingala at nakasandal lang sa upuan. Kita niya ang bigat sa paghinga nito. Napakatong din ang isang kamay sa lamesa habang mahigpit na nakahawak sa kutsara.

"Kanoa Dinamarca," mahinang sabi ni Ara bago niya muling kinagat ang ibabang labi.

Sam squinted as if trying to remember something which made Ara more nervous. Imposibleng hindi narinig ng kuya niya ang tungkol sa sex scandal. It was all over the news, and everyone was talking about it until it lasted.

No words, Sam stood up. Sinundan ni Ara kung saan ito pupunta nang kuhanin nito ang phone na nasa ibabaw ng kitchen counter. Sumandal ito. Hawak ng kaliwang kamay ang phone at ang kanang kamay ay ginamit na pansuklay sa buhok.

"What the fuck." Madiin ang pagkakasabi ni Sam habang nakatingin sa phone. "Barbara, what the fuck?"

Mas lalong bumilis ang tibok ng puso ni Ara sa diin ng pagkakasai ng kuya niya. Hindi niya magawang salubungin ang tingin nito ngunit gusto niyang linawin ang lahat. Mula sa pagkakayuko, ibinalik niya ang tingin sa kuya niya.

Nakatalikod na ito sa kaniya, nakahawak ang dalawang kamay sa kitchen counter, nakayuko at panay ang galaw ng balikat.

"Ikaw ba 'yon?" Humarap si Sam. "Barbara, are you the woman on that . . . video?"

"Yes, Kuya," Ara's chin vibrated, and her eyes pooled with tears. "I'm sorry. I'm . . . sorry."

"Why?" Sam looked up and sobbed. "Ara, bakit? And now, you want him back? Do you want him in your life again? After this? Hindi ka pa ba natuto?"

Ara shook her head. "It's for Antoinette."

"I . . . forbid it. I don't want you seeing him again, lalong lalo na si Antoinette. Ayokong didikit ka na naman sa kaniya, Barbara!" Muling tumaas ang boses ni Sam. "Barbara, please . . . spare yourself from more pain. Tama na. Ayoko na. Please."

Nakita ni Sam kung paanong magmalabis ang luha ni Ara dahil sa sinabi niya. Nakatingin ito sa kaniya at hindi niya maintindihan, pero hindi niya kayang makitang ganito ang bunsong kapatid niya.

"I just wanna protect you, Barbara," diin ni Sam. "Please, don't let yourself get hurt again and if I had to fight with anyone just . . . just to make sure I won't see you getting hurt again, I would."

"A-Are you gonna fight me then?" Ara sniffed.

T H E X W H Y S