Two Months later

Sanskar Maheshwari woke up next to his sleeping wife and felt a smile flicker across his face , when she went and reunited their family against his wishes ,he tried to understand her but he couldn't forgive them like her ,so he choose to leave the house on the pretext of a business trip

He knew his wife won't worry about him ,as he called her daily and all he hoped was getting some time to come to terms with his family and forgive them before going back home because he couldn't stay away from his wife longer than that .

It was why he was surprised when she came to visit and the visit lasted for two months, Swara refused to go back home without him. And she wasn't complaining about missing her family either.

He felt something was not right but he couldn't understand her. Well the answer to those questions came crashing down the very same day.

" What did maa say Swara.."he asked his wife , a little later when she finished talking with his bade maa

" Ragini is pregnant sanskar ,she called to share the good news " his wife told him yet he overheard her saying sorry few times in the conversation and wonder what could possibly be the reason .

" That's great news , But it looks like you were saying sorry. Why were you saying Sorry swara."he asked his wife who refused to look at him as she answered back that his bade maa wanted swara to come home to take care of Ragini but Swara refused to do so hence the sorry .

Yet another puzzling behavior from his wife , he knows how his Shona had came to live with them when she assumed he was murderer all because she wanted to be with her pregnant sister ,yet she was saying no to go back home and insisting that her sister has their family to take care of her .

" What are you hiding from me Swara "he asked unwilling to hold on to the since anymore but she only shook her head in answer.

" You want me to believe, that you don't want to go back home " Sanskar pressed for answer and she answer only in the affirmative assuring him that she really didn't want to go .

" Swara, Please what are you hiding from me now. Just tell me , i cant take one more secrets of yours. Please"he spoke up ,it broke his heart when she went behind his back to reunite the family all the while keeping him out of the loop

" You tell me, What you were hiding first. Then i will tell you?"her answer surprised him as he had been quick to claim he has no secrets from her .

" You are lying. And you never lied to me , Do you want me to say. Fine I will talk and you say if i am wrong. When i reunited the family you were angry with me for doing so, Well not the fact i reunited the family but the fact that i broke your promise.

It was why you left me and moved out. My husband left me and i was the fool who didn't even know that. I lived in his house, slept on our bed and woke up still thinking of myself as an happily married woman when in reality my husband left me because he was angry with me.

How did you do it Sanskar ,all the phone calls everyday and i didn't even doubt you were angry with me" his wife asked him surprising him by the truth .

" I am not angry with you Swara, I was never angry with you. Yes i was upset when you decide to broke the promise but not angry enough to leave you. But i am not perfect like you Swara, i cant forgive like you, i cant forget like you.

I am an person who would hold on to revenge for five years, I am someone who would destroy his own family in anger, i am someone who will destroy an innocent in my quest for revenge and so yeah i cant forgive my family, after all the insults i got from Laksh.

After being betrayed by my family once again , I cant live in the same house with them and pretend like everything is fine " he spoke up spilling the truth he kept hidden away from her

" So you left. In the pretense of an business venture. You didn't ask me to come with you did you?" She asked him back

" I asked you swara ,to come with me but you said No."he told her but she was already glaring at him

" You told me you are gonna be away for a month. You didn't tell me your are leaving forever. Neither did you tell me your are leaving because you cant stay in that house."his wife answered back

"I was not leaving forever, I left till i could calm down. And I cant ask you to choose between them and me . I cant handle you choosing them instead of me. I know it selfish of me to want to be your first priority but blame me i don't want it any other way" he answered back feeling bit foolish even as the words were out

" You think i would choose them over you. Do you think i am that stupid" she spoke up

" Well even if you choose me,will you be happy. Would you stay happy . Wont you try to fix me and my family, Wont you try to reunite me with my family. I dont want to be fixed Swara. I dont want to be forced to reunite with my cousin , I want to do it on my own terms."he answered her back .

" So i am the problem."she replied back looking lost.

" No Swara, I didnt mean that,I told you not to change from who you are but i don't want to change from who i am as well. I am not perfect Swara, But i don't want to be perfect either."he replied back hoping she would understand him .

" So you think i am perfect. Is that why you left me" She spoke up in anger.

" What do you want me to do Shona .I had no other solutions. I cant stay in that house ,you were so proud of reuniting everyone i had no heart to let you know that nothing changed for me.

So i left in the context of business venture, it was not a lie. I am trying to start my own business and i didn't lie to you.I wanted to come back once i was able to forgive laksh, once i was able to feel MM was my home too .

And not feel like i was an stranger in that house. But till then i needed time and if i told you the specific reason why i am leaving, you would want to change it or you would want to come with me and it will make you unhappy and so i choose to not let you know" he explained back which only made his wife more upset .

" In short you decided for me" she lashed back

" Well i thought that was the only solution at hand. But you found out that why you came. And i thought you came because you missed me. ?"he lashed back at her

" I missed you and I choose you. If you dont to stay with your family then i dont want too either. I dont want to stay in that house as their daughter in law when you dont want to be the son of the house"she replied back calmly .

" But, You will not be happy Swara. Not without having your whole family. So go back home. Take care of your sister. And i promise to come back soon."he tried to reassure her .

" Is it because i choose to break your promise you think i can never live without my family and be happy. I was happy Sanskar. The last two months i was the most happiest person.

And the month i spent without you was the time i was not happy. But i thought choosing family happiness over mine was the right thing to do. I tried fixing everyone for so long that i forgot to take a step back and let them do it on their own

So even when you asked me to stand down and not try to fix everything i went ahead and fixed it or so i thought not realizing you were hurt by it" she spoke up melting through his broken heart with her words

" That who you are Swara, and i am proud of you for thinking of other happiness over yours. But this time i was hurt by Laksh. And it was easy to tell him i cant forgive him yet then tell you i dont want to forgive him."he answered back yet again surprising her .

**************

Swara was indeed taken back that the people from the house knew about her husband real reason of leaving and she had been the only one unaware of it . When sanskar told her Laksh ,bade papa and his father were aware the reason he left ,she finally understood the reason his father told her the truth

Two months ago ,sanskar father approached her and told her the truth about how sanskar had left the house, he told her how proud he was of Swara for reuniting the family but also asked her to go to his son side because as a father he wants his son to be happy .

When she had been too silent as her mind whirled over the conversation she had with his father ,she wondered how she had failed to see what right in front of her .

"So what do we do now " she asked him when the silence grew longer making both of them weary .

"Teach me how to forgive like you, maybe that would solve all the problem. It been three months and yet i am angry at laksh .I cant believe after all that happened between us , he didn't trust "Sanskar spoke up and couldn't say more as he seemed too upset.

" Well , I forgave my sister for trying to kill me twice. You think i am so desperate for family that i lost the will to fight for my self respect. See you left me and yet instead of addressing the reason you left. I was all willing to hold on to you on the pretext of everything was okay" she answered back instead surprising him by her words.

" I didn't leave you Swara" he spoke up and there was a hint of softness in his words that threatened to shatter her composure.

" No you left me Sanskar. You left me . The one person who i thought would never leave me in spite of everything i do ,left me.

I should be angry ,upset ,crying about it for hours together . Instead i am acting like nothing happened. I jumped on to the next train and came here and pretended that everything was fine because i dont want to lose you too and because i cant survive loosing you" she finally found the words she wanted to tell him for the last two months .

" I just needed some time, Time away from the madness. I didn't leave you Swara, i would have returned back soon. If you didnt come in search of me, you do know one month was more than hard enough i wouldn't have lasted another ten days" he answered back and she wanted to believe his words yet she had to ask once again

" What if you didn't come back." She asked him willing him to reassure Ber that she wouldn't have lost him forever .

" I would have come back" he spoke up and she believed him

" And i choose you Sanskar, i didn't come here with the intention of changing you decision. Yes the thought occurred to me, what if i come here and convinced you to give laksh one more chance but then i felt what if i lost you in the mission to reunite you with your family.

I don't want that. I am willing to fight for anything when you are by my side but i wont be able to survive or fight for anything without you by my side. So i gave up. I didnt come here to convince you or change you decision.I came here because i decided to stand by you ."she admitted as well because it was the truth .

" You would never lose me Swara. I will always stay by your side. I am sorry i should not have left you "he apologized first

" And i am sorry Sanskar ,if i made you feel like i don't care about you. You are the most important person in my life and i do know my actions haven't show that recently but trust me. Please" she answered back

" I trust you Swara. But from next time let not keep anything from each other. I know you had your reasons every time but i wish you talked to me and convinced me instead of hiding it from me.

And i should not have hide it from you either. The fact i left home, It my fault. Our relationship will falter if we started hiding Swara. We have reached this point where for two months even when we were together we actually were not being ourselves.." he spoke up as she held her in his arms

" We used to be so perfect together Sanskar. We always fit each other so well. Everyone used to be jealous of our relationship but how did it all change ."she can't help but ask him .

" I used to think about it all the time, The one month you were not here. Each night i would just think about it. And the answer is we are not perfect Swara.

Both of us have our set of faults. But i loved you so much that i decided to be supportive always and i failed. I am not perfect Swara, while in the start i was willing to walk through a blazing fire for you.

And i am willing to do that even now but i have start to expect you to be around when i am hurt by the fire. My expectation grew as time passed and when it was not fulfilled i began to feel like i don't matter to you.

And even now i ran away from home instead of admitting that to you . Because i didn't want you to realize i was hurt by you. We used to be so perfect together because we used to be such a good friends Swara, one who were able to share everything with each other but now we changed. And maybe that why our relationship changed too" he replied back

" You are right, i took you for granted. You used to be the steady rock i can always lean on, and as you said you have always been supportive. That i began to think you will remain the constant in my life. And so i began to test your limits with my actions.

And i am not perfect Sanskar. I am human too.And i make mistakes as well, I can hurt the one i love the most by my actions. So i am sorry, Sorry for taking you for granted, Sorry for testing you patience and i try to change too. You said you started to expect more from me and i am gonna try to live up to your expectations"she answered back

" I dont want you to change Swara. Not for me. Not for anyone"he spoke up and she trusted him

" It time i stopped striving for creating my perfect family Sanskar. I don't want to continue on the quest if it would mean i am gonna lose the real family i had. You said you are not perfect.

And i am not perfect either. I dont remember when is the last time i did something because i wanted to do it.I become so selfless that i am beginning to hate my life. I am tired Sanskar , tired of trying to be selfless t all the time.

In my quest to get approval from everyone i changed so much. You think i haven't changed but i did change, i don't feel like i am myself any longer. I am this version of me who just strive to keep everyone happy. And honestly i am tired of it.

And so this two months even if there was always the insecurity due to the fact you left me, i still get to be me, So i want to change Sanskar, i want to go back to the way i was before.

I used to be happy and carefree when my family only had Dadi and Maa, Then when i changed from Swara bose to Swara Gadodia, i changed myself to make dadi and dad approve of me, which honeslty they dont still.And i still keep trying though.

And you know when i married you, my family circle included your family too and i want to be the best bahu of the house. So yeah i changed too and i am not perfect either.I wanna go back to my initial carefree days Sanskar. " she spoke up surprisingly him by her confession .

Sanskar Maheshwari used to think that he got married to an guardian angel. The one who brought him out of hell. And as swara said he found her too perfect for such an imperfect guy like him.

So he tried to be understanding, accommodating and supportive. Not realizing somewhere along the line he took her for granted too. She told him that he used to steady rock and he thought she was this perfect forgiving person that somewhere he didnt think she would be able to understand how he feels

That why he kept it all hidden the fact he cant forgive his brother so easily after all that happened. The fact she feels like she had to change so much hurt him as well.It time she stopped doing that.And it times she stopped living for others as well .

" Okay let admit that we both were at fault ,Now that we have finally talked it out though three month late . We can move on from the past right. My insecurities at not being your priority,your insecurities at not being able to be yourself. i dont know why we used to not talk about it before

Now stop thinking about what i want, stop thinking about what maa wants. What do you want to do next"he asked her wondering how he failed to see the sacrifices she made for their family .

" Well i havent thought about it for a long time.. Do you remember when i used to think about divorcing you" she spoke up

" Dont tell me you want to divorce me now.." he replied back suddenly wondering why the dreaded word was making its appearance.

"/Stop joking Sanskar. Don't even think i will let you go from me easily like that. I told you right my dream to start an music school./

Well the fact i held on to divorce you back then even when i realized that somewhere along the lines i dont want the divorce was because i get to be swara bose.

I can be finally free from the restrictions, I had a plan of moving away from badi and go and start a music school somewhere else and finally be me.Then lot happened as you know. So i really wanna follow my dream Sanskar.With you by my side."she spoke up

" Okay, Done. From tomorrow we both try to work on this new mission. Building your dream music school "he promised her .

" Really" she asked excited

" Really, It a win win for me. You will be my side and i will be happy if you are happy."he assured her back .

" But about everyone at home.. "She asked him next .

" Well it time we let them know, We are moving out."he answered back

" Do you really think they will accept that Mr Maheshwari. You know maa she will create an havoc when she hears about it and badi maa she might stop talking with you in an quest to stop you."swara predicted their family reactions and he knew she was right as well .

" Sure it gonna be tough but Well that the only way swara. We go back home let them know we wanna settle in delhi for now and promise to be around for all important occasions and they can visit too." he tried to reassure her

" I like it. But what about you and laksh.You dont want to face him yet right.."she asked him

" He is my cousin .I might have to face him soon, to know you will be my side is more than enough. To know you wont be angry at me for not forgiving him is mildly surprising but gently reassuring as well. We will work it out. We can never be like you sisters but we can work it out" he assured her back

" We can work it out too right. Whatever the differences we had so far." She asked him with hope brewing in her eyes about their future.

" Yeah we can work it out Swara.. As long as we learnt to talk with each other like now. Whatever happens in the future we can work it out. And i just want to let you know. I will always remain the constant in your life. I might not be steady rock all the time but i will remain in your life always till i die." Sanskar replied back .

" Dont talk like that. You promised me that we will grow old together right. That all i want to grow old with you by my side .Also i am gonna learn to be myself as well. And this last two months i was happy because you were in my life.

Somewhere along the lines i realized i dont need my idealistic whole family to keep me happy. Just two of us is more than enough to keep me happy. Because that all i need." She replied back

And swara meant those words as well , because for the first time in the last two months she finally stopped worrying about them because she knew they both will be okay because they love each other.

She gently kissed him in the cheek which caught him in surprise before he could pull her back for more she started running in the house and game of catch commenced.

Well it ended the way it usually ends. She was in his arms by the end of it and she wouldn't have it any other way.

P.S : " The End. Do let me know your feedbacks and thoughts. Hit the votes if you liked it "

Juanita Reid