Griffin

I felt dirty.

I looked down at myself and my bedpartner and sighed. No, I was dirty.

How did this happen again? When Kitana invited me out last night, I had agreed to go on the condition that she wouldn't let me go home with anyone. And she had promised. "You're walking in with me, and I'll be damned if you don't leave with me," she'd said.

Well, it looked like she was damned.

I shifted carefully, doing my best to get out of the bed without waking my bedfellow, who was thankfully still conked out. At least it was a man this time. You didn't have to worry about pregnancy with a man.

My clothes were flung around the room and I rolled my eyes. Some people seemed to think it was hot if they vigorously undressed you, but in the moment, I never realized my clothes were being thrown around and in the morning, it wasn't sexy to have to crawl around the floor looking for them. I found everything but my second sock without too much difficulty and I seriously considered leaving it behind in the interest of getting out of here as quickly as possible, but I caught sight of a flash of white under the nightstand. Good. Let the only sign I'd ever been here be dirty bedsheets.

After verifying that my wallet, phone, and keys were still tucked into the pockets of my jacket, I slipped out of the apartment. A woman was entering the apartment across from this one and raised her eyebrows at me, but I ignored her and headed outside.

As soon as my eyes adjusted to the harsh sunlight, I made a call. I felt too conspicuous, standing there out in the open while I waited for my cousin to pick up the phone. When it went to voicemail, I wanted to curse. I even seriously debated leaving a string of foul language in a voicemail, but she never checked her voicemails until the inbox was full and it just wasn't as satisfying knowing that. She needed to know how upset I was with her today.

I hung up and tried my sister. No answer.

I clenched my phone in my hand and considered my remaining options. Uncle Magnus would be working, and since he was co-alpha of our pack, I really shouldn't interrupt him to come pick me up from a booty call. Aunt Mel would be furious to know I hadn't waited for my mate (as though that ship hadn't sailed a long, long time ago). Neither of their mates, Uncle Lachlan or Uncle Jason, would keep this from my parents.

Which meant I might as well bite the bullet and get this over with.

I called my Pop, Felix. You'd think he'd be the scarier one to deal with since he was the head warrior in our pack, but he was actually a huge softie. Besides, disappointing him never felt nearly as bad as disappointing my other dad, Everett.

He answered on the second ring. "Griffin? You never came home last night. Are you okay?"

See what I meant? He could always make me feel good, even in a bad situation. His first reaction was concern for me, not lecturing. "Yeah, Pop. I'm good. But... I need a ride."

I waited through a too-long silence, and I thought I could imagine the exact look of disappointment on his face. "Where are you?"

I looked around, but didn't recognize my surroundings. "Um, hang on one sec." I quickly pulled up the map app on my phone and shared my location with my dad, then put the phone back to my ear.

"We'll be there soon."

We? Damn it. "Okay. Thanks."

"I love you," Pop said, and I had to smile again even though I knew I was in trouble.

"Love you too."

We hung up, and I sat down on the curb to wait. After maybe ten minutes, a scent wafted in the air. Someone was growing nearer. The scent tickled my memory, and it took me too long to realize it was the person whose scent I currently wore. I would have cursed, but I didn't want him to hear me. I ducked behind a car in the parking lot just before the apartment door swung open, and I held my breath while I waited to be discovered.

He didn't stay, though. In less than a minute, the door shut again and his scent faded.

I sagged against a stranger's car, feeling an odd mix of relief and self-loathing. How did I end up in these situations? I never meant to. Or, not usually. I would go out for a change of pace, not to have some stranger rail me. But that was how it always ended, and I was starting to feel a little stupid for expecting these evenings out to end any other way.

My parents had raised me to save myself for my mate, for the person I was destined to spend my life with. What they didn't seem to understand was, there was something wrong with me. I both longed for my mate and dreaded the day I found them, and I couldn't tell which side was stronger. I didn't know how to connect with people outside my family. I didn't understand how you could be expected to let someone into your life, let them become an integral part of it, and trust them to stay. And this wasn't something I could talk to my parents about. They wouldn't get it.

I tried to let people in. I tried to make connections. And it inevitably turned into sex and never seeing that person again. It left me feeling dirty and empty and aching. It left me alone, and worse off than before.

No, I was better off sticking with what I knew. I would stop going out, even if Kitana begged me. I would spend more time with my family, with the people who were always there for me. I'd do better.

It was a foolish resolve. Foolish, because I always decided to stop sleeping around, and it always happened again. I stopped believing myself a long time ago.

I kept spiraling deeper and deeper into self-disgust, so far that by the time my dad's SUV pulled into the parking lot, I wanted to hide myself away before he could see me like this. But there was no hiding from a werewolf; he'd just scent me out. He pulled into the closest open space to me and before the car was even in park, the passenger door flew open. My dad, Everett, sprinted over to me and wrapped me up in a tight hug. His nose pressed against my hair and I wanted to shove him away before he picked up the scent of sex and stranger all over me, but of course it was too late for that.

"Griffin, we were so worried!" he said.

Pop walked over, his pace unhurried. He probably hadn't been half as worried as Dad, but he joined in on our hug anyway. "Next time, call. Or text. Hell, send an e-mail or a telegram," he said. "Something to let us know you're safe."

"I'm twenty-one," I pointed out, irritated that they were treating me like a kid.

Dad's eyes grew sad like they usually did when he was reminded that I was an adult. He swallowed and nodded a little. "You are. But someone should always know when to expect you home, Griffin. Even when you don't live with us anymore, someone should know when to expect you. Otherwise, you could be in trouble and it would take too long for someone to realize it."

Dad could worry about absolutely anything. It was kind of his superpower... but I knew he was right about this. "Fine."

My parents exchanged looks that had me suspicious. "What is it?" I asked nervously. Surely, they would wait to lecture me until we were home. Right?

Dad shook his head and gently pulled me toward the SUV. "Let's head home."

There was more to it than that, and it worried me the whole way back. Somehow, I'd ended up at an apartment complex almost an hour away from our pack lands. It was weird that both of my dads had come to get me, since it was Friday. On Fridays, the twins had soccer games in the mornings, and Dad hated to miss them.

That only made me feel worse.

"Who's with Tyler and Blair?" I asked.

Pop cleared his throat and shared another of those looks with Dad, the ones where you just knew they were speaking to each other over the mind link they shared. "Magnus took them."

Dang. So much for not pulling him away from his job as alpha. As if I didn't already feel bad enough disrupting my parents' mornings. As if I didn't already loathe myself enough for the scent of sex that still clung to my skin and filled the cabin of the SUV.

I dropped my head into my hands and tried, again, to figure out the moment things went so wrong last night. Kit had gone to the bar for more drinks and I'd been feeling pretty good at that point. Relaxed. Loose enough to head over to the man who had been eyeing me all night. His attention had made me feel so warm. Was I really that desperate for affection?

My phone rang, and it only took a couple of seconds to decide against answering it. It was Kitana, and I didn't want to talk to her where my parents could listen in.

She immediately tried calling again, so I texted that I'd call her back later and she immediately answered, "But you're okay? You disappeared on me last night."

"I'm fine," I typed. I had just enough time to send it before we pulled into our driveway.

We headed into the house in a silence that weighed on me. I imagined I could hear all my parents' censure in it. They had to be disappointed in me. Again. Why couldn't I just wait for my mate like a good werewolf? Why couldn't I be more like them?

I started for the stairs, but Pop said, "Hang on, son. We want to talk with you."

I paused and seriously considered running up to my room, anyway. But I couldn't do that to them, not after everything they'd done for me.

Dad hooked his arm over my shoulders and gently guided me to the living room, where he and I sat together on the couch while Pop sat in his favorite chair. I expected Dad to let me go once I was positioned where he wanted, but he didn't. If anything, he hugged me tighter against him until I seriously started to get worried.

"We love you so much," Dad said earnestly. It made my heart ache.

"I love you guys, too," I said. And I did. So much. I didn't even want to imagine what my life would be like without them.

"We know," Pop said. "That's what makes this so hard."

I would have bolted in terror if it weren't for Dad's arm around me. What, had I finally pushed them too hard? Were they giving up on me?

Rationally, I knew they never would. But that didn't quiet the real fear that coursed through my body.

Dad stroked my hair soothingly, but it didn't do much to make me feel better. "Ssh, it's okay." He and Pop exchanged another one of those loaded looks before Pop started talking again.

"You're not happy," he said. "You haven't been for a long time, and we don't know how to help you."

I sneaked a peek up at Dad and instantly regretted it. His eyes glistened, and I felt awful for making them so worried. "I'm okay," I whispered. If I spoke any louder, they'd hear the lie in my voice.

"You're stuck," Pop disagreed.

My heart ached. Of course they saw it. I used to have plans. Aspirations. I was supposed to go away to school. I wanted to follow in my dad's footsteps and go into finance like he did. God, I grew up wanting to be just like him. Don't get me wrong, I loved both of my parents, but I always had a special connection with Everett. I wasn't sure what it was, but something about him soothed all of my anxious thoughts. He made me feel safe.

That was the problem. I didn't know how to leave the shelter of my parents' house. I'd had my college all picked out. Dad helped me put my application together and we spent hours fine-tuning my entrance essays. He'd been so proud of me for trying so hard.

And then my acceptance letter came, and it started to feel too real. The thought of moving away was enough to give me nightmares, bad ones. The kind that had my dads come running in the middle of the night to make sure I was okay because they could hear my elevated breathing and racing heart.

So I didn't go to college, after all. I did little jobs around the pack, but they were just enough to keep me busy. They weren't enough to soothe the blow to my self-esteem that came from cowering in my childhood room, afraid to be independent of my family.

I was still afraid.

I wrapped my arms around my dad's middle and buried my face in his chest. He made a hurt noise deep in his throat, a sound of distress that had tears pricking in my eyes. Why couldn't I just be okay?

"How about a change of scenery?" Pop suggested.

I froze. He didn't mean he wanted me to move out, did he? They... they wouldn't do that to me. Right? I pressed my face harder into Dad's chest and his arms tightened around me in response.

"Your father and I were thinking," Dad began in a careful tone. "We could probably use some family time. We used to go away on camping trips when you were younger, remember? Before the twins were born. We could do that again."

I remembered. Those trips had been the highlight of my summers. A whole week spent out in the woods with just my dads and my sister. I always felt so much closer to them after that.

But... how was this supposed to help me become independent? Or were they just trying to make me feel better?

I didn't care. Now that the suggestion was out there, all I wanted was that kind of family time. Nothing had ever made me feel more secure.

"We talked to Magnus on our way to pick you up, and he cleared both of our schedules for the week," Dad said.

"Just like that?" I asked, pulling away and staring between them in awe. What I really wanted to ask was, how had they known? How had they known this was exactly what I needed?

Pop smirked a little. "I've covered shifts for a lot of people over the years, Griffin, and I rarely ask for favors. I don't want to say that they owe me, but..."

"They owe you," I finished, laughing a little. "But what about your work?" I asked Dad.

He smiled a little. "I'm leaving my assistant in charge. He's been looking for a chance to prove himself, anyway."

My heart swelled. "Okay. When do we leave?"

"We'll leave in the morning. That should give us enough time to pack and stock up on supplies. And to track down your sister."

"Want me to find her?" I offered reluctantly. I really didn't like Margo's friends. Or her mate.

"No, that's okay," Dad said with a small grimace. "I don't think she's going to take this well. We should be there to explain it to her."

"It could be a pretty good punishment to make me do it," I said, only a little bit joking.

Pop laughed. "Yeah, if we were looking to punish you." He focused on me and his smile faded. "You're an adult, Griffin. You can make your own decisions. We trust you."

That hurt, and I had to turn away. "I'm going to go pack."

I made terrible decisions. How could they trust me when I knew better than to trust myself?