Part 12:

A song was playing on speakers on the background. I hope this person uses headphones. Not everyone in the office wants to hear Saint Claire songs.

It's been a month since the release of their latest single Red Flag. It's all over the internet, radios, and music channels. It was released on the same week as the band's cover feature for The Lead, adding to the hype. Their team did great plotting the timeline of all these interviews and promotions.

The band's also been through several numerous live performance and guesting. No wonder the song was warmly received by their fans as well as casual listeners.

I wouldn't say we didn't benefit from it. The latest issue featuring Saint Claire was sold out on the first week of release and we had to do a massive reprint because of the unprecedented number of fans collecting the magazine.

My cover feature was successful... but why can't I be at peace? Dahil ba ito sa ginawa kong kagagahan noong gabing 'yon kaya hindi ako matahimik?

I rested my head against the office desk, groaning, letting my newly blow-dried hair fall like curtains all over my face. Aside from my messy desk, I haven't made any improvement in my current article. Although I've written several articles in the past month and the response and website traffic has been good, lately I couldn't help but feel like I'm doing things half-ass.

With a sigh, I sat up straighter on the swivel chair before opening the Pinterest tab on my Macbook to check my inspo board for my fashion article. Going to Pinterest is like having a bubble bath after a long sweaty day. It just feels so refreshing for the mind.

Specially now na hindi na ako nagh-handle ng celebrity interviews tulad ng pinangako sa'kin ni Ms. Cee. Kahit panay ang pangungulit sa'kin because of the success of the cover feature, I'd rather stay away from that field.

While trying to pull my concentration back to the task like an intense tug-of-war, nabitawan kong muli ang tali nang marinig ang usapan ng mga kasama ko sa kabilang table.

"Napanood mo ba 'yong live interview ng Saint Claire kagabi?"

"Napanood ko sa Youtube. Red Flag was about Sancho's ex!"

"Di ba?" The statement was followed by their giggles. "There's no name involved pero dahil sa mga interview nila, alam na ng lahat kung tungkol kanino ang song."

"What a clutch you have if your ex still write songs about you!" Saka sila nagtawanan.

Mas lalo lang sumakit ang ulo ko sa narinig. My concentration was completely thrown out of the window. Resting my entire back against the swivel chair, I closed my eyes.

I don't want to assume that the song was related to me in any way. It's been what? 6 years since that damn time with Sancho? He must have had different ex-girlfriends within that span of years.

Pero tuwing naaalala ko ang nangyari a month ago... how we were both out of air because of the way he kissed me back so passionately-- wait, what the hell?!

Bigla akong napatayo, causing my officemates to cast surprised glances in my direction.

"You okay, Euls?"

"Anyone wants coffee?" I blurted out.

"Manlilibre ka?" nakangising tanong ni Mara sa katabi kong table.

Nag-buntong hininga ako. Great, mukhang mapapagastos pa ako.

In the end, I bought eight iced coffee for the staff present in the The Lead office. Thank God, the others were in field work. I shouldn't be acting this way in the first place. Two weeks ago, I impulse bought a mini Prada bag. This frustration is causing me money!

Propped on the orange leather seat at the lounge area, I sipped my coffee while staring at the Ortigas skyline from the glass wall of the building.

After a silent moment, I pulled out my phone and searched on Youtube the interview my officemates were talking about. I just need for the nagging in my head to stop and convince myself that the song wasn't about me.

I made myself comfortable in the coach while watching. The band members were messing around again. Pinagsasabigan ni Rosco si Jarvis for messing with Shaun with a throw pillow from the set habang tinatanong si Sancho ng host.

When the host asked about the song inspiration for Red Flag, nagbago ang expression ni Sancho. It was barely noticeable but the discrete movements of his eyebrow and the corner of his pierced lips always meant something.

Why do you look so guilty, Sancho?

"The inspiration for the song, is she from your past?"

Good arrangement of words, I thought. Instead of referring the inspiration as a thing, the host used the pronoun to indicate the involvement of a woman without being so forward about it. Fans nowadays nitpick how interviews take place kaya maging ang mga host ay maingat na din.

"She's still part of my present."

Ngumiti si Sancho, a dimpled smile that he use to charm people to get away with things. But this interview was live, no edits or cuts. Kaya naman pala nagtrending ang interview. Sancho was playful about it, except for the guilt in his eyes.

Kahit ang ibang member ng banda natigil sa kulitan at napatingin kay Sancho. Rosco gave him a gaze, silently warning him not to spill unnecessary information that can cause chaos to their fans. Poor him, dahil mukhang walang balak tumigil si Sancho.

"What do you think will be her reaction once she learned that the song was about her?"

The host was loving the unexpected spill kaya naman lalo pa nitong ginatungan ang sitwasyon, to which Sancho only chuckled dryly. "Probably deny to herself that the song was about her."

"Given the song lyrics and your statement earlier, does it mean you haven't moved on from her?"

Ngumiti si Sancho sabay iling. "Gusto ko ding malaman kung paano."

I closed the app. Leaning against the leather seat, I took a long deep breath. Sancho's really pulling the big guns. He knows that this interview will reach whoever person he wanted to reach. If, and only if, that person was indeed me... what does he want me to do with this information?

It's not like he was the first person who wrote a song about his ex lover or past relationship. Most love songs are about someone's past relationships. Taylor Swift's lyricism is inspired by the existence of the people she once shared romantic feelings with. And her songs are phenomenal.

I cursed under my breath. If only I didn't mess up that night... if the kiss wasn't in the equation, we could co-exist in the industry while minding our own businesses. But that drunken act just brought the past back to the present and it's messing with my head!

After my short break, I stood up with my watered down iced coffee. Habang naglalakad, muli kong binuksan ang phone ko para i-chat si Kayla.

Eula Needs A Break
Wanna hangout tonight?

Do Not Disturb Kayla
Ano meron?

Eula Needs a Break
Do we have to have a special occasion to hangout? Namiss lang kita!

Do Not Disturb Kayla
We just had dinner together three days ago.

Eula Needs a Break
We can't??

Do Not Disturb Kayla
Where and what time?

Grinning, I forwarded her the time and details of the place. Kayla's basically a hermit so whenever she agrees to hang-out, it makes me giddy. Kunwari lang siyang magsusungit, pero hindi niya naman ako matitiis.

My foul mood had lighten up for the rest of the afternoon. Kinalimutan ko muna ang mga bagay na gumugulo sa'kin. This must be what Sancho was aiming in the first place, ang guluhin ang isip ko, which I won't give to him.

After office hours, I retouched my make-up and give it a bit of a nighttime glam. Inside my car, I switched my dainty blazer with a black leather jacket before applying a dark red lipstick. I checked the time, Seven in the evening, before messaging Kayla that I'm already on my way.

After a thirty minute of driving, nadatnan ko si Kayla sa harapan ng familiar establishment. She had her arms crossed over her chest, annoyed that I made her drive all way here just to eat dinner at nauna siyang dumating sa'kin, which, in my defense, was quite rare. Hindi niya gustong pinaghihintay siya nang matagal.

"Did you really wait outside for me? That's so sweet!" I teased her.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Kadarating ko lang. Nakita ko ang sasakyan mo kaya hinintay na kita."

"That's still sweet of you!" I clasped her arms while walking into the establishment.

Hinila niya ang braso niya mula sa'kin at lumayo ng isang hakbang, which only made me chuckle because I know how anti-touchy she is. Minsan sinasadya kong maging clingy sa kanya para lang makita ang reaction niya.

Kaya madalas pinagkakamalan kaming laging nag-aaway. But one thing about Kayla, her eye rolls and words might look sinister to others, but she has other ways to show she cares for someone, like driving all the way here to QC to have dinner with me!

We walked pass the small blinking signage before reaching the narrow staircase to the underground establishment. The Pod Craft Brewery. The place's exterior might look intimidating but it's been my favorite hangout place since college and now my go-to whenever I'm craving for craft beers and wood-fired pizza.

Although it's been a while since I came here because this place is a wisp of nostalgia. From the dim narrow staircase to the smell of the craft beers, leather seats, and wood-fired oven. In here, things seem to stop changing.

A low ambient music was playing nang pumasok kami sa loob ng bar. No live band today, huh? Do they still cater performances of new bands in the area?

We went straight to the corner booth farthest to the door, which thankfully was empty dahil doon kami madalas umuupo dati ni Kayla. Nang abutin ko ang menu for the drinks, kinuha agad ito ni Kayla sa kamay ko.

"No alcohols. We're both driving," she warned.

"But!"

She gave me a frosty glare.

"Just a glass." I motioned with a finger. "You know, I don't get drunk with beers."

"You sure you wanna do alcohol after your mishap last time?"

Shoot. Kayla really doesn't hold back. With a forced smile, I removed my hands from the menu, surrendering to her statement. "Aye aye, warden."

"I don't even know why you want to get drunk on a weekday."

"No honey, you don't understand," I reasoned out, flipping my hair. "The point of drinking on weekdays is to survive an un-survivable week."

Kayla, once again, gave me a roll of her eyes bago namili ng mga kakainin namin mula sa menu. We chose their famous wood-fired margarita pizza and the small size charcuterie board paired with non-alcoholic drinks.

While waiting for the food, Kayla roamed her eyes around the place. Mangilan-ngilan lang ang costumer nila ngayong gabi. Most of them were like us who just came from work.

"You still love hanging out here kahit ang layo nito sa place mo," Kayla muttered.

"Yeah," I nodded with a half-smile. "This place is a bit special."

"You used to always drag me here during college," dagdag niya. "Kahit hindi para sa mga estudyante ang lugar na ito. The food here is a week-worth of allowance."

Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya, because I remember the same things so well. This place is basically where it all started, my friendship with Kayla and the first time I heard Sancho play. It's in this place, on this stage. It became a routine every Friday night during college to come here and listen to him play. Kahit bumabagyo pa o may exam, tatapusin ko ang lahat nang mas maaga para lang puntahan siya dito. Ganoon ako katanga noon.

Dumating ang order naming pagkain.

"Do you remember the first time you came here with me?" I asked Kayla in the middle of our meal.

"You dragged me here," she corrected me. "It wasn't with my own free will. We were supposed to work on a project but instead you dragged me here."

I nearly choke on my drink, giggling. "You had a bad habit of ghosting me to work on the project alone. I brought you here with me that time para hindi mo ako takasan ulit. This is where we had our first real conversation, you know."

She only nodded, taking a bite of the pizza. "I remember. I used to wonder how you can afford this place even though we were both broke college students."

My smile faltered. It was my Mom. She loved spoiling me. I was basically her mini version. Whatever she had, she would make sure I had them too. It didn't matter if they're designer bags, custom-made shoes, or niche perfume.

Sa kanya ko natutunan ang lahat. How Hermes and Chanel bags have higher resale value than others making them good investment pieces. What rare pieces to pursue, what shops to buy for designer items, the importance of having signature scents.

I grew up playing in her walk-in closet full of bags from the floor to ceiling cabinets, the heavy smell of perfumes on her vanity and the scattered shoes on the floor. Those were my childhood, my own playground.

My Mom's lifestyle was my lifestyle... until she took her own life.

I pulled myself out of the impending dark thoughts and focused back on the food in front of us. Napansin ni Kayla ang discomfort ko kaya iniba niya ang usapan.

Nagkwentuhan kami tungkol sa trabaho and how we're both working on the same company but have different working environments. She works remotely as one of the content writers of the company. She's responsible for creating written digital content for the company and partnered brands. While I normally stay in the office or do field work for the magazine.

She's pretty contented with her job because it doesn't require her to interact much with people, although may mga times na kinukulit ko siya to visit the company once in a while. Kung hindi ko gagawin 'yon, Kayla would stay at home for consecutive weeks without human interaction and that's not very healthy.

Habang kumakain, nag-ring ang phone ni Kayla sa table. She immediately picked it up expecting a call from someone. Once she saw the screen, her face flushed with was a mixture of hope and hopelessness-- if that's even possible.

Tumayo agad si Kayla at nagpaalam para sagutin ang tawag. Alam niyang hindi ko gustong naririnig ang boses ng lalakeng 'yon kaya lumalayo siya tuwing tumatawag ito.

But the truth is, I just don't want to hear Kayla pleading for his time or apologizing for something. Dahil 'yon lagi ang nagiging takbo ng usapan nila ng boyfriend niya.

And come on, since that asshole was assigned in Baguio, his calls became rarer than a blue moon. Kaya hindi nakapagtataka na ganoon nalang magmadali si Kayla na sagutin ang tawag niya. I don't want to see her being appreciative of bare minimum. She deserves more than that.

I repeatedly poke the cheese on the board with the small fork while waiting for Kayla. Without someone to have meals with, I don't have much of an appetite.

The call took longer than usual. Nang marinig ko ang muling pagbukas ng pinto ng bar, I immediately raised my head expecting to see Kayla. But what I saw was another familiar face.

He stepped inside the bar in a casual black jacket over a white V-neck shirt and faded jeans. He removed the white Adidas cap from his head, ruffled his hair, and headed to the counter. He sat so casually on a stool like he's been here quite a lot.

What are you doing here, Sancho?

***