"Listen, lady," Arthur said. "I've had a really terrible day and you're trespassing in my home right now. I don't know if you're looking for money or drugs to feed your habit, but you're not going to find either of those things here. If you don't remove yourself from the premises immediately, I'm afraid you're going to leave me with no choice but to call the authorities on you."

The Blue Fairy let out a loud laugh.

"Oh, you think that's funny?" Arthur pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "I'll have you know home invasion is considered a felony in this state. We'll see how much you're laughing when you're spending the next twelve to fifteen years behind bars."

The Blue Fairy wiped tears from her eyes as she continued to howl with laughter. "Oh, you are just a hoot, young man. I haven't had a good belly laugh like that in at least a century. I, of course, recognize no human authority. Besides, you're the one who brought me here when you wished upon my star."

"You keep saying your star," Arthur said. "I'm pretty sure nobody can own stars. Who sold you that star anyway? I'd like to see their license and documentation that says they are legally permitted to do so."

"If you really must know, I won that star fair and square in a card game with the Demon Lord Sh'zgroth nearly three thousand years ago. I assure you it is my star. And an interesting fact about my star is that when someone makes a wish upon it, their dreams come true. And you, my mortal friend, did just that. Ergo I have no choice but to grant your wish. Now I believe there is someone at your front door."

Right on cue a frantic knocking came from the front of the house.

"Who could be calling at this hour?" Arthur asked. "I swear, if this is one of your criminal buddies coming to help rob me, I'll..." He turned to confront the Blue Fairy but she was nowhere to be seen.

In the meantime the rapping at the front door was getting louder and more insistent.

"All right, all right, I'm coming." Arthur paused to grab a golf club from the closet in the hopes of defending himself against any would-be attackers. He peered through the peephole in the door, but couldn't see anything through it. Nonetheless the knocking continued.

He cautiously pulled the door slightly ajar, and before he knew what was happening, three short creatures dressed in overalls pushed it all the way open and burst into his house. At first he thought they were children, but then he realized they were pigs walking on their hind legs.

"Don't just stand there like a moron!" one of the pigs shouted at him. "Close the door! And bolt it, for crying out loud!"

"Oh no," Arthur said. "I'm pretty sure it's a violation of my lease to have livestock in my house. You need to go."

"Are you crazy?" another pig asked. "We're not going back out there. The Big Bad Wolf is coming!"

"The what now?" Arthur asked. Out of the corner of his eye he saw an enormous shadow coming rapidly up the walkway before the third pig slammed the door shut.

"He's a homicidal maniac!" the first pig shouted.

"A brutal savage!" the second one chimed in.

"He murdered our cousin Hamish a few days ago," the third pig said. "Just ripped open his chest and ate the still-beating heart right in front of his wife and kids. Then he ate them, too."

"And you brought this guy here?" Arthur asked. "Why would you do such a thing?"

"We need a house to protect us," the first pig said. "I had one that I built out of straw, but he blew that sucker down."

"So then we holed up in my house," the second pig said. "I built it out of sticks, but he blew it right down, too."

"Wait a minute," Arthur said. "I know how this story goes. Then the two of you ran to the third pig's house, which he built out of bricks. It was strong enough that the wolf couldn't blow it down and you all lived happily ever after and learned the value of good workmanship."

"Yeah, that's not exactly what happened," the third pig said. "It's true, I built my house out of bricks, but the Big Bad Wolf has much more powerful lungs than you would imagine. He blew my house down, too. So we all ran over here. What's your house made out of anyway?"

"I don't know," Arthur blinked. "Stucco maybe? I'm not exactly an expert on construction materials."

"Let's hope it's strong enough," the pig said. "The Big Bad Wolf is right outside."

"LITTLE PIG, LITTLE PIG LET ME IN!" a deep guttural voice boomed from the other side of the door.

"Not by the hair on our chinny chin chins!" one of the pigs shouted.

"Now hold on a minute here," Arthur said. "Do you think we should be giving this guy attitude?"

"THEN I'LL HUFF AND I'LL PUFF AND I'LL BLOW YOUR HOUSE IN!"

"Excuse me, Mr. Wolf?" Arthur said. "Before you do anything hasty, do you think we could talk about this? I'm sure if we all sat down and had a sensible discussion we could come to an arrangement that would be agreeable to everyone."

There was no reply, but then the entire house began trembling. At first it was a minor vibration, but then everything started shaking violently. Pictures fell off the walls, the hanging ceiling lamps swung back and forth erratically, and he could hear dishes shattering on the floor in the kitchen. The next thing he knew, the ceiling flew off and the walls came apart at the seams. It felt like a hurricane was focusing its full fury on him as his house came to pieces all around him and blew away.

Arthur gulped involuntarily as he was now face to face with the creature who had caused this destruction.  He dropped the golf club he'd been carrying, which now seemed woefully inadequate.

The Big Bad Wolf was larger and more terrifying than he could have possibly imagined. It was easily over ten feet tall as it stood on its hind legs. A potent stench wafted off of its matted and greasy gray fur. There were numerous puckered scars criss-crossing its snout and abdomen and its yellow eyes glowed brightly in the dark. Sharp claws that were at least six inches in length sprouted from its paws and when it opened its mouth it revealed rows of teeth that were equally sharp and nearly as long. A massive string of drool extended from its lower lip and then dripped on the floor.

"Run!" one of the pigs shouted, but it was too late for it as the wolf scooped it up, grabbed it by each arm and tore it to shreds in a messy spray of blood and gristle.

The splatter of bodily fluids hitting his face was enough to break Arthur out of the frozen trance of horror he had been in. He felt adrenaline coursing through his body and took off running. He spotted his backpack laying on the ground among the rubble. He kept it packed with a change of clothes and all of the bathroom essentials in case of emergencies. He couldn't think of anything that qualified as more of an emergency than this, so he gambled on taking a split second to bend over and grab the backpack before following after the surviving two pigs who were taking off at a mad dash. He could hear the Big Bad Wolf let out an inhuman laugh somewhere behind them as it messily devoured its victim.

His neighborhood was unrecognizable as he ran wildly away from the wreckage of his house. The street appeared to be made out of cobblestone and there were no sidewalks or street lamps anywhere to be seen. The trees seemed much bigger and older than he remembered and there were a lot more of them. The moon shone incredibly brightly overhead and, if he wasn't mistaken, there appeared to be a cow jumping over it. Way off in the distance he could see a towering castle on a mountain that hadn't been there before. A breathtaking waterfall cascaded down the side of the peak right next to the palace. The entire area was flat as a pancake for miles and miles, so where had all of that come from?

He didn't have much time to ponder that as he thought he heard heavy footsteps rapidly approaching behind him. The pigs ducked into a particularly heavily wooded area and Arthur followed hot on their tails.

It was dark once they'd entered the foliage and Arthur kept getting scratched by tree branches and long thistles that grew from some of the plants. He tripped over more than one log and scraped his knee up pretty fiercely, but he picked himself up each time and kept going.

At last they burst into a clearing with a small cottage in the middle of it.

"Quick!" one of the pigs shouted. "Let's get in there! It's our only chance!"

Arthur stopped behind them as they knocked on the door. There was something strange about this house. It appeared to be constructed out of candy, cookies, and other sugary confections.

"Um, I don't think this place is going to be sturdy enough to stand up to the wolf's onslaught," Arthur said.

"Would you rather stay out here and wait for the Big Bad Wolf to eviscerate you?" the pig asked.

"You've got a point," Arthur conceded. "I'll take my chances in the house. Geez, is this really all happening because I wished on some silly star?"

"I don't know about that star business, fella," one of the pigs said. "But this is for sure really happening. If someone doesn't answer the door soon, I say we grab a rock and break one of the windows."

"No need for that," a creaky voice said as the door slowly opened. An ancient crone in a ratty hooded robe stood in the entryway. "Forgive me, I'm an old woman and it takes me a bit of time to get around. But where are my manners? Do come in. I'm always delighted to have guests. And you're just in time for supper."  She licked her lips with a long red tongue.

"I actually am a bit peckish," Arthur rubbed his tummy. "I didn't have much of a chance to eat anything what with Mr. Crankshaft making me stay so late tonight. Thank you so much for your hospitality."

Something smelled good as he walked through the door, but he didn't have time to identify what it was before something slammed into his head and he lost consciousness.