Today (Late Afternoon)

The cemetery was very large. Theo clutched the paper with his aunt's directions in his hands and sat tense in the passenger seat, leaning forward to look over the dash. Wide expanses of grass were dotted with marbled gray headstones, matte for the most part but sometimes glossy and flashing beneath the hot afternoon sun. Among them were bright spots of color from wreaths, bouquets, and striped American flags that hung limp in the dead air. A few old, lumbering oaks and mausoleums towered over the rest of the residents.

This was a place of silence. Theo was not sure if he was afraid or not. The dead were quite different from demons, who shrieked and moaned and begged for attention at all times. They were silent and often forgotten. He had pushed his parents right out of his life and had not heard a peep from them since. Even his memories were hazy save a few select moments. Silent.

But every single gravestone had a shadow. The sun no longer hung directly overhead but was nearly halfway through its descent. So, the shadows were stretching ever longer. But in such a vast open space, they did not seem as intimidating as in the alleys between tall buildings. Besides, demons would not want to come here. They do not wish to possess decaying, silent bodies.

"Do you think that there are any demons here?" Theo asked for Abel's opinion.

He did not answer right away, instead focusing on pulling the car to the side of the gravel driveway because they had apparently arrived. Abel knew this without having to look at the directions slowly being crumpled in Theo's hands because he was the type of person who could hear instructions once and remember them perfectly. Capable.

The car slowed to a stop, and he put it into the park. Then, with his lips pressed together, he looked at Theo. It was the look he had whenever he was deciding how to word what he was going to say because he thought it might upset Theo. Who so very often was easily upset.

"It just would be nice," Theo said by way of explanation, which would probably make him look even crazier, but Abel never got mad at him when he rambled, "if after we died, they would leave us alone."

Abel hummed. "Are you worried that demons are bothering your parents?"

Theo swallowed. He did not know. Even when Abel popped open his door and got out of the car, he stayed frozen in his seat. When Abel knocked on the passenger window, he stared straight ahead and ignored him, heart hammering in his chest. The passenger door opened.

"If you don't want to do this, you don't have to," Abel crouched beside him, shoes crunching in the gravel. "I can just put the flowers on their grave for you."

"I should..." Theo started and stopped, then started again, "I never..." Then blew out a frustrated breath. "I should say goodbye."

Abel was chewing on his lip. Theo watched him out of the corner of his eye as he carefully reached forward, telegraphing his movement, to place his hand over Theo's. The paper instructions now lay shredded all over his lap.

"Okay," Abel said in his low, soothing voice, which meant he wanted Theo to trust him implicitly, even if Theo did not feel like he could. "I think that when you visit your parents, you should have the right mindset, or you might regret it, so I just want to check in with you. You know that the demons are not real, right?"

Theo did not. But he understood what Abel meant. He wanted to make sure Theo knew they were in his head and not real to other people. That he was not having one of his episodes where he was more in his head than in the present and was liable not to remember much of what they did.

He nodded.

"All right," Abel continued in his soothing tone. "Just...we can always come back tomorrow before leaving town if you would rather."

"No," Theo sighed, trying to release some of the awful tension in his chest. "The flowers are fresh. We should..."

He trailed off and breathed for a few seconds.

"I need you to unbuckle your seatbelt for yourself," Abel told him. "If you can't do that, it's all right. We'll come back tomorrow."

Theo envisioned his hands moving. They brushed the confetti instructions off his lap and into the footwell of the car. Then they released the seatbelt and moved it out of the way so he could step out of the car. Then he was standing on the gravel beside Abel, grass poking through the sharp pebbles where it had begun to creep into the road.

"Good," Abel brushed some of Theo's hair away from his forehead, then ducked to kiss it.

The sun was warm on Theo's face. He closed his eyes and looked at how it made his eyelids pink and veiny. Abel reached into the back seat to retrieve the bouquet they had bought from a roadside stand, where a guy had buckets of bouquets in the back of his pick-up. The plastic crinkled in his hand as he slammed the car door shut.

"You ready?"

Theo opened his eyes. He was not, but it was time. He took the flowers and threaded their fingers together so that he could follow along as Abel led the way, guided by the directions he had imprinted in his perfect brain.

They stopped at what would otherwise appear to be a random grave. It hardly looked different from the ones to the left and right, except it had his parents' names on it. William and Melissa Becker. The death date was the same. A car accident, his aunt said.

It was sad that his mom never managed to get away from Bill, and now her body lay beside his.

Abel bent down to remove the flowers in the little vase before the gravestone. They looked about a week old, not dried up yet, but wilting some. Theo replaced them with the fresh bouquet and stepped back, wrapping his arms around his stomach. It ached terribly.

"People usually say something, don't they," he mumbled.

"You don't have to," Abel assured him.

He thought about telling his mom that he still had his shark but thought it might upset his dad, so he kept his mouth shut about that. He could not update them much about his life. They wouldn't be particularly proud of his line of work or that he dropped out of college. In fact, they were probably upset with him. He had stopped answering their calls and refused to say anything to the cop who came to check on him because his mom had filed a missing person report.

What would his life be like if he told that cop he wanted to go home but couldn't because of Ken? But that would have been a lie. He never really wanted to go home. He just wanted to leave everything behind. To disappear, in general.

"What would you say to them if they were alive?" Abel asked.

"I don't know," Theo sighed. "That's why I never reached out."

You think they are going to want to talk to you after you ignored them all this time? You're better off without them anyway. They didn't really love you anyway. You belong with me.

"I guess I would say I'm sorry," he whispered.

Abel nudged Theo gently with his shoulder. "I'm sure they would just be happy you are okay."

Theo was not sure if he agreed but said, "That's a nice thought."

A breeze rustled through the huge, wide-canopy tree that sheltered a few graves and a bench nearby. Theo shivered and stared at the empty bench where it sat in the dappled, shifting shade.

"What do you think about going to find something to eat?" Abel drew him back from the empty bench into the sunshine. The shadows were lengthening as the sun descended in the sky. Theo nodded absently, looking at the long lines of darkness stretched out behind each gravestone.

"Yeah," he reached for Abel's hand. "I'm hungry."

Able led him back to the car and stowed him away in the passenger seat. The interior still smelled vaguely flowery, like pollen and delicate, velvety petals. Theo wrinkled his nose and cracked the window when Abel turned the car on.

"You still interested in going to that bar across from the hotel?" Abel asked.

"Only if you are willing to play a game of pool with me if they have pool tables," Theo lifted his nose to breathe in the fresh air blowing through the crack in the window, closing his eyes as if to savor it, but opening them just a smidgen to watch Abel out of the corner of his vision. Abel was rubbing a hand over his smile and looking away. When Theo sat back in his seat and made an inquiring sound because he had not responded, Abel pretended to be scowling.

"You aren't going to hustle me out of my car or anything, are you?" he grumbled.

Theo laughed at him.

Five months ago

Theo was obsessed. He'd tried to get Abel to understand that he was not normal. That he was as fucked in the head as the rest of the crazy people who put up with Ken. And even though Abel seemed not to believe him, that did not mean it was untrue.

He had figured out what hours Abel worked and what car he drove. All while skulking around the bar he worked at, trying to gather up the shattered pieces of his pride and find the courage to go inside and say hello. Abel had not reached out after holding him all night at the Christmas party and an awkward morning goodbye. The ball was firmly in Theo's court. Able had not asked for his number again, which meant Theo would probably have to offer it. He had not come out to catch Theo while he was leaving yoga, so Theo would have to go to him.

It was terrifying.

Abel had somehow given him a taste of something that he did not even know he craved, and now he was a starved beast. And there was more of it, dangling just in front of his face like a wiggly little worm, except Theo was pretty certain that there was a hook underneath just waiting to lodge itself into his jaw. Not to mention the deep, dark depths from which seaweed and rotting hands clawed at his ankles to drag him back down.

There was once this woman who had a similar role in Ken's life to the one that Theo was groomed into. That was back when Theo was still afraid of things, and the demons loomed in the shadows but rarely stepped out of them. She tried to hurt one of the men Ken gave her to. Put him in the hospital.

Blood coated her chin and neck, staining her teeth as she grinned eerily up at Ken. Completely mad, Theo had thought at the time. Back before he went completely mad too. Or maybe he always was. Ken had his men beat her until her whole body flowed red. Ken stood beside where Theo knelt collapsed and trembling on the ground. His fingers threaded gently through Theo's hair, then fisted it so he could not look away when he pulled out a gun and killed her.

She had just done her nails. Bright spots of neon blue with little rhinestones – expensive. Splattered in red.

That's what happens if you don't do what I tell you to. She was stupid. But you aren't stupid are you, sweetheart? You know what's best, don't you? You're my perfect little angel who listens so well. I'm sorry if that was scary, but you need to understand what will happen if you stop being my perfect little angel.

He was never an angel.

After that, he always felt how her face had looked as she leered up at Ken. Nutso. Fucked. After that, the demons did not stay in the shadows. They curled around him. They settled inside of him. He had not felt terror for a long time.

Until Abel held him.

Theo did not understand him. But utter horror and disgust welled in his gut at the sight of that woman's rotting hand reaching up from the black depths, bright blue nails, and glinting rhinestones. When her fingers wrapped around his leg, he gasped, too afraid to make a sound, and tried to shake it off.

"Theo?!"

He cried out weakly, tugging his foot away, then tripped and fell hard onto the ground, pain lacing up his hip.

"Theo, hey...what's..."

A shadow fell across him. There were hands on him all over now, and he tried desperately to push them away, still unable to breathe around his panic. Then they were gone, and he could hear the voice calling out to him.

"It's all right, Theo. Holy fuck. It's just me."

He looked up to see who me was. Abel. With his tattoos and piercings and a look of deep concern on his face. Theo rubbed his hands across his face and breathed.

"You okay?" Abel asked.

Theo narrowed his eyes at him. It seemed that Abel had reached into the water and netted him anyway, despite his reluctance to go for the bait. He could not be particularly upset, but he still pointed a finger at Abel's nose and accused, "Wiggly worm."

Abel went cross-eyed, looking at the tip of Theo's finger, and his brows pinched together in surprise. "I'm a worm?"

"Yes." Theo took a big breath, feeling the air in his lungs. "You're dangerous."

"I'm dangerous?" Abel cracked a smile, although it barely reached his eyes, which were furrowed and tense. "You're the one who almost just fell into oncoming traffic."

Theo blinked a couple of times and then looked over his shoulder to see that he was sitting in the narrow stretch of grass that split the parking lot from the road. There was a curb at the edge of the parking lot, which he had probably tripped over. He shivered and looked away from the rush of cars.

"Thank you," he said. Abel scooped up his hand from where it had drifted away from his face and used his arm to pull Theo to his feet. He brushed Theo off a bit, rubbing his hands brusquely over Theo's arms and chest. Theo liked that a lot.

"What are you doing here?" Abel asked.

He looked around in confusion, trying to remember himself. They stood in a cracked asphalt parking lot just off the side of the road about a block from the bus station. There was a run-down building with a little sign over the door that proclaimed the place to be Harvey's. Theo assumed it was a little dive bar based on the posters for various tequilas and beers. Abel's car sat in the lot. Theo had spotted its distinctive cobra decal in the back window from his seat on the bus.

He had gotten off at the next stop, jogged to the bar, and stood outside debating whether or not to go in when he must have had one of his spells. His hands rubbed over his face again, the tips of his ears burning with embarrassment.

"I was just...um." He gestured toward the bar.

Abel lifted his eyebrows like he could not believe that Theo was here to go into Harvey's. It made sense. Ken liked to think of himself as some classy mafia motherfucker, so he went to clubs that fit the bill and held his events at clubs and big four-star hotels. With his thin build, manicured nails, and designer clothes, Theo would fit in more at the glitzy bar where Abel worked than here. But he'd gotten off the bus.

"Come on then," Abel put an arm out, not around Theo, but to guide him across the parking lot. "Let me buy you a drink."

"Okay," Theo said easily, allowing himself to be guided.

Inside, it was dark. There were dim overhead lights, a little bit of sunlight near the windows, and some brighter lighting by the bar, but for the most part, it was a dark place. Theo walked a little closer to Abel as he led them to the bar, daring to reach out and grab onto the soft fabric of his shirt.

Abel looked down in surprise, then smiled softly at him. "It's probably not your usual dive, is it? Don't worry. Everyone here is friendly for the most part."

He seemed to be telling the truth. There were a few people scattered around the room, murmuring to each other over the tables or engaged in a game of pool. They glanced up and saw Abel and Theo, then nodded. Maybe all of them had seen Theo freaking out in the parking lot through the window. Abel, at least, must have noticed to have gone running outside to help him. Theo blushed and watched his feet move across the floor.

Behind the bar, two bartenders danced around each other, sorting out their supplies and gathering up dirty glasses. One was a large, muscular man, and the other a very short, curvy woman. They made quite an eye-catching pair as they joked and shoved at one another.

Abel sat Theo down on one of the stools, then plopped onto the one beside him.

"What do you want to drink?" he asked, "They have this really good local brew on tap right now if you like IPAs."

Theo licked his lips. He did not really like IPAs, nor did he really drink beer. It always made him feel bloated. But asking for one of his usual drinks would probably be a little much. Too high maintenance.

He shrugged. "I'll have that, then."

Abel eyed him for a moment, then turned and rapped his knuckles on the bar, "Becky, can we get two of the Slate IPAs?"

"Sure thing, hon!"

Theo looked around the room, taking in the neon signs on the wall, the pool tables, and the darts in one corner. Their beers came in tall glasses, bubbles rising in the golden liquid and a thin foam layer across the top.

Abel picked his up and asked, "Do you want to play a game of pool?"

Theo eyed the pool tables with exaggerated caution. He was very good at pool. Ken had put a pool table in his new apartment, and Theo was the one who got the most use out of it. But it might be fun to hustle Abel a little bit. He wasn't the only one capable of dangling a hook.

"I don't know..." he hedged.

"Come on," Abel stood up. "I'll go easy on you. Have you ever played?"

"I have," Theo answered, following him over to the tables. He had to fight to keep a smile off his face.

By their game's end, Abel looked ready to break out into laughter or tears. His chin rested on his hands, which were propped against his pool stick. And there was an incredulous smile on his face. The other pool game had been paused so those two guys could also watch as Theo sank ball after ball.

"Okay," Abel propped his pool stick against the wall and crossed his arms, "so you're good at pool."

Theo giggled and ran his fingers along his pool stick, "I'm good at a lot of things."

Abel's expression grew cautious as Theo rounded the pool table to approach him. Theo swore the man held his breath as he leaned his pool stick against the wall beside Abel's.

"How come you hang out at a bar after work?" Theo asked, "Don't you get sick of being in one?"

Whatever Abel expected Theo to say, this was not it. He cracked a smile and looked off to the side. "This is a very different bar from where I work."

It was. His bar was trendy, with fancy interior decorations and a cocktail menu filled with pretentious remixes of classic cocktails that had clever names. Abel probably had to audition for his job there by writing up the recipe for an award-winning cocktail on the spot while juggling cordial bottles. It was like the tasting restaurant of bars. By the time five o'clock rolled around, there was usually a line out the door. Theo knew because he'd been scoping the place out like a psycho for the past week.

This place was much more low-key.

"Do you like your job?"

Abel shrugged. "It's turning me into an alcoholic."

He turned to look at Theo with a smile like maybe he was joking, but maybe not.

"Why don't you work in a bar like this, then?" Theo asked.

"And ruin the place where I come to decompress?" he shook his head. "Nah. Someday, I'd like to open my own bar, though."

"Wow," Theo said, genuinely interested, "Is that difficult to do?"

Abel gave him another one of those smaller smiles, as if he and Theo were sharing a secret. Or like he could see something that nobody else could when he looked at Theo. "It takes a lot of money upfront, but I'll get there someday. Man, you haven't even touched your beer."

Theo followed Abel's eyes to the sideboard where, indeed, his drink sat untouched. "I don't really like beer."

Abel nodded like maybe he already figured that was true and picked up the glass. His already sat empty beside it, foam clinging to the glass sides. "Do you mind?"

Theo shook his head. The drinks had gone onto Abel's tab anyway. He glanced around the room again, remembering that they were in a bar with other people. The other two guys playing pool had returned to their game now that Theo wasn't hustling the pants off Abel. The people sitting around the tables hadn't ever looked up from their conversation in the first place.

It was strange to be in a bar where nobody was looking at Theo. He wondered if they all avoided looking at him because he was so different from their casual flannels and scuffed work boots. Or if he simply had not pinged on their radar. Either was interesting to him, given that he was used to people peeling his clothes off with their eyeballs whenever he was with Ken.

"How come you are here, Theo?" Abel asked again. "I know this is not your usual scene. And you got a beer that you didn't even plan on drinking."

"I saw your car outside," he said honestly, keeping his eyes on the room at large so he wouldn't have to see Abel's reaction. Already, there was heat crawling up the back of his neck. He might lose his nerve if he looked at Abel's eyes, at the cobra curling beneath his chin, ready to strike. "I wanted to say thank you for being so kind to me the last time."

"No problem," Abel said, "You seemed..." Crazy. Insane. Needy. He broke down in the parking lot less than thirty minutes ago. Panicked in the same way he had been in the hotel room. What Abel must think of him, he couldn't imagine. "...afraid." Abel continued, "Like maybe you needed a friend."

Then he took a deep breath and plowed on, "You and Ken. If you're..."

"I just work for him." Theo interrupted, brushing off Abel's concern.

"Does he pay you?"

"He lets me live with him. Pays for my yoga classes and whatever else." Theo shrugged. It wasn't like what he did for Ken was a real job anyway. Sleeping with whoever Ken wanted him to at any given time was not exactly something to pay taxes on.

Abel did not like that. Even without looking at him to gauge his reaction, Theo could tell. There was dead silence, the type that reigned when it was purposeful. And he was very still, no longer shifting between his feet or fiddling with his glass. But he did not say anything. He just slowly lifted the beer and took a few swigs of it.

"Listen," Theo turned to him, tired of the conversation always coming around to how fucked up his situation was. He knew it. Abel knew it. Why did they have to keep talking about it? It was his lot in life. Except... "I know my opinion doesn't matter much to you, but I still want to do it with you."

It was a good thing that Abel was not drinking the beer as he spoke because his eyes nearly bulged out of his head, and he choked on his spit alone. He set the beer down as he hacked into the back of his hand, maintaining eye contact with Theo the whole time. Theo just lifted his chin.

"Direct, aren't you?" Abel croaked once he was able. He patted his chest and cleared his throat. "It's not that your opinion doesn't matter to me. It's just...I'm not going to pay you."

"I don't want you to pay me."

There was a look of desperation dawning across Abel's features. His eyes flicked down to Theo's lips, then back up to his eyes. He licked his own lips.

"Isn't it...why do you want to?" Then he winced like maybe he thought that was terribly offensive, which maybe it was. But it took far more than that to offend Theo. In fact, it might actually be impossible at this point. Abel started to reframe what he was trying to say, stumbling through his words badly enough that even Theo began to feel embarrassed for him.

There was nothing to be embarrassed about, though. From his ramblings, Theo managed to glean the fact that he was just worried that Theo did not like sex because his experiences with it were probably all negative and complex. And he did not want to have bad sex with Theo. Just hanging out like this was fine for him.

Abel still had not gotten it through his head that Theo was a slut. Sex was not good or bad for him. Moral or amoral. It just was a part of his life. Maybe other people didn't see it that way. But – once again – Theo was crazy. There were things he liked about it, from how good it felt sometimes to the fact that he hardly ever slept alone. He did not like it when it was inconvenient or with someone that he thought was gross or scary. Like when that guy ripped his stockings in the bathroom the night he first met Able. That sucked.

But Theo wanted to have good sex with Abel because...well, he wanted to. Abel wasn't gross. He was the opposite. Theo allowed his eyes to trail over his body, from his tattooed arms to his chest beneath his thin shirt to his beautiful goddamn face. That broad chest and those strong arms felt so nice when he held Theo. And he certainly was not scary. Despite all his tattoos and his connection to organized crime, he made Theo feel unfathomably safe.

But the poor guy was still rambling apologetically while Theo leered at him, so he pulled himself together.

"You still come to this bar even though you work at a bar that makes you want to drink, right?"

Abel's mouth snapped shut.

"Can I kiss you?" Theo asked.

Abel's mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. He glanced around the bar, where absolutely nobody was paying attention to them. When Theo put a hand on Abel's chest, his eyes snapped back down, but he did not push him away. So, Theo tilted his chin up and pecked Abel on the lips. Just one quick peck.

Then he took a step back, letting his fingers linger on Abel's chest for a moment before dropping away.

"I...um," There was pink high in Able's cheeks, visible even in the dim lighting. "I'd like to get to know you a little bit better first."

Theo nibbled on his lip, then shrugged. It wasn't a no. "Do you want my number?" 

A/N: Theo can be so sweet sometimes <3

One thing that I love about the two of them, but am not sure how well it comes across from Theo's perspective, is the fact that Abel is actually a bit intimidated by Theo (at least at first). Theo cannot fathom someone being intimidated by him and is thus completely unaware.