❀ E V A ❀

Sometimes I wonder if there really is someone up there.

I mean, everybody talks about God, and how big and powerful he is, how his only son turned water to wine, how God loves everyone no matter what wrong they did, and of how he is as merciful as he is forgiving.

But, if he is all of those things, if he's that powerful, then how come there are so many people suffering? How come there are such things as drought, poverty, rape, abuse and human trafficking? How come there can never be a day without terrorist attacks, or major thefts, or even slavery?

How come the worst things happen to the best people?

I know that in other people's eyes Evelyn is nothing more than a problem. To them, she's nothing more than the poster child of the teenager you don't want your child to grow up to be. But she's much more than that. So much more. But we're all too blind to see it.

Granted, we try to see it from her point of view. Try to put ourselves in her shoes, Charlie and I. But sometimes it's so hard that I just get fed up, and I stop trying to be that chipper mom that everybody needs me to be.

There's a blond girl sitting with us in the waiting room. She's a friend - or semi-friend, as she put it since she and Evelyn don't know each other well - of Evelyn's, and she's extremely pretty. I didn't know that she and Landon and Aisha were friends with Evelyn. I didn't even know Evelyn had friends, period. She didn't talk about them. But it's nice to know that there are people out there who also care about her enough to be emotional about the accident, and they care enough to rush to her aid.

Every time I hear the word accident, I think of my baby girl. The doctor said she was - or is - in critical condition. She has internal bleeding, a hairline fracture, heart problems and possibly brain damage, which could lead to death. Every single one of those words bounces around my brain, and the word death is enough to trigger me, and I just burst into tears.

Right now I've run out of tears. My eyes are dry, and my nose is red. No matter how much water I drink, my throat permanently remains parched, and I know it'll stay that way until I hear news from the doctor on Evelyn's current state.

"You okay?" Charlie whispers in my ear, rubbing his thumb over my hand in soothing circles.

I shake my head, taking in a shaky breath. "No, b-but I'm trying to be," I murmur, staring at the white wall that leads down to the dreaded room where they're keeping my daughter.

"Eva, you don't need to be strong for anyone. We're all hurting inside, and I know that feeling won't pass until we know that Evelyn is alright. And it isn't your fault. I know you blame yourself for the accident, but you weren't the one who was driving. So let it all out, love. Let it all out, and don't try to hold it in, because no one needs you to be strong in this moment."

I read somewhere that crying isn't a sign of weakness; it's a sign of strength. In my opinion, that's bullshit, but if you really think about it, it is a sign of strength. When you cry you're basically saying: "Yes, I'm strong when I'm weak. I'm weak but I am strong. I'm weak with all my problems weighing me down. But I'm strong enough to let my emotions show. I'm strong enough to let it all out, to release all my sadness and anger and anguish. Fuck society, fuck the fact that crying is considered a sign of weakness."

So I stare ahead at the wall. And let those tears run down my face.

✰ C A L L I O P E ✰

I don't even know Evelyn that well.

Then why am I here?

Because you care.

∞

‎ﻬஐ A I S H A ‎ﻬஐ

It's one thing to not be able to see your best friend in hospital.

It's another to feel completely helpless. Almost three days since the accident and no one except family has been able to visit Evelyn. These past few days have been hell: I haven't slept a wink for fear of losing Evelyn, I have no appetite to eat and I've almost bitten my nails down to my cuticles due to anxiety and impatience.

Oscar kisses my shoulder from behind, scaring me half to death from my position on the balcony. The wind runs carelessly through my hair like fingers caressing the curls, and I turn around to face him.

There's a worried look on his face alongside his usual calm one, and he wordlessly holds out the landline. My eyes flick down to the cordless phone before they meet his. "It's for you," he tells me in that quiet voice of his that always sends shivers down my spine.

I take the phone from him, looking down at the caller ID only to see an unknown phone number and let my fingers linger on his. "Who is it?"

"Some woman named Eva," he answers, smiling slightly, and he tucks a lock behind my ear before leaving, closing the balcony doors behind him.

I unmute the phone and lean my folded arms across the ledge, wedging the phone between my ear and shoulder. "Eva?"

There's muffled background noise before I hear a distinct female voice. "Hi, Aisha, it's Eva. Um, I was just calling to tell you that Evelyn's up now."

A smile instantly forms on my lips at the news, and the dark cloud that hung over me is gone. "She is? Oh my god, that's great news!" A sigh of relief slips from my lips, and a hysterical laugh bubbles out of me.

I can hear the smile in Eva's voice as she continues, "Yes, they finally took her off the sedatives. She's had to rest because there was quite a bit of internal bleeding, but the doctors are doing the best they can. Friends and family are allowed to visit, so I just wanted to tell you in case you want to make a trip up here."

"Oh, yeah, sure, definitely, I'll be on my way now," I splutter, a little caught off guard, and I push myself off the edge of the balcony. Rubbing a hand over my cheek, I try to tame the wide smile on my face. She's awake, she's finally awake. She's going to get better, this is all going to seem like a bad dream. "It'll take me a while since I'm still by Pacific Heights, but I'll be there before six."

"That's wonderful, darling. Take care on the way here, and I'll see you soon," Eva says gently, and after saying our goodbyes I hang up and rush into my shared bedroom in a haste to get ready.

I tug off the pajamas I've been wearing for three days straight and throw on grey sweatpants, pairing it with a random tank top. The door creaks open as I pile my hair up on my head whilst shoving my feet into sneakers, and I look up to see Oscar walking into the room, an apprehensive look on his face.

I hate how he's started looking at me. Like I'm a rag doll that's about to fall apart at the seams and have everything spill out of me. I know it's only because these past few days I've been a mess, either oversleeping or not sleeping at all, spending most of my time on the balcony and looking out into the woodland that hides in our backyard.

"Everything okay?" he asks, his green eyes troubled as they wander over my passive features.

I smile genuinely, a little conscious about my makeup-free face, and surprise the both of us by wrapping my arms around his neck. "Everything's more than okay. Everything's great. Evelyn - the girl who got into the accident - finally woke up and is allowed visitors, so I'm planning on going there right now."

He rests his arms around my waist, kissing the area underneath my ear. "I'll take you, then."

I pull away slightly, a frown on m face. "No, Oscar, you don't have to—"

He cuts me off with a kiss, turning my insides to mush. "I want to," he tells me earnestly, and it's at this moment that I'm thankful for being engaged to such an amazing person. I know it sounds cheesy and extremely cliche, but had we not bumped spilled coffee all over ourselves at Starbucks . . . I can't even imagine a world without him. "And besides you're my girlfriend—fiancé. I have to be there for you in times of need, and right now you need to get some sleep on the way."

"Are you implying that I look awful?" I tease, shooting him a mock glare, but a giggle bubbles out of me.

Oscar smiles widely, shaking his head so his black shoulder-length hair brushes against my cheek. "I never said anything. But, now that you mention it . . . "

I swat at his shoulder with my hand. "You're such an asshole!" I shriek, unable to stop laughing.

He scares the living daylight out of me by scooping me up in his arms, and my hands instantly go around his neck as I try not to fall. "Oscar! What is wrong with you?!" I yelp breathlessly, squirming as he pokes at my sides while leading us downstairs.

Oscar ignores me, whistling some Nirvana song loudly as I kick my legs out, trying to get him to put me down. He knows I hate heights - although this can hardly compare to a roller coaster - and I'm easily startled. "I don't hear you complaining," he chirps, giving me a cheeky grin.

"Put me down!" I all but yell as we step outside and head to the car.

"If you say so," he shrugs and proceeds to let his arms around me disappear for a split second. My heart jolts out of my chest, and I scream as I wait for myself to hit the ground, but his left arm is (again) under my knees and around my middle back.

"Oh my gosh, are you crazy?" My heart is racing at my close encounter with death, refusing to get back to its normal beating unless I'm safely inside the car or the house.

Oscar gives me this sappy smile, so full of positive emotions that I instantly forget about the stunt he just pulled. "Crazy in love with you, yes. Don't know how I ever lived without you," he admits, pulling me close and kissing my nose.

"Well you never will live without me because I'll always be on your case and follow you wherever you go," I squint sternly at him, placing a hand over his gently beating heart.

"That doesn't sound too bad." I swat his shoulders again, coaxing a chuckle out of him, and we both climb into the car, hearts racing and elevated.

∞

♚  J E S S E  ♚

"Evelyn."

Her eyelids flutter at the sound of her name, a smile gracing her lips at the sight of me. I can't help returning the smile, even if it pains me to look at her.

A drip is connected to her arm and her wrist. The green line on the heart monitor goes up every two seconds, indicating her slow heartbeat. Her skin is pale - not its usually tan glow - and her hair a mess, but she still looks amazing.

I take more steps towards her, her half-opened eyes watching my every movement. Tentatively, I perch on the edge of the bed, and Evelyn instantly takes my hand in her small, cold one.

She opens her mouth to say something before she realizes she can't, and there's a noticeable look of disappointment as her face begins to crumple. "Hey, it's fine, birdie," I assure her, and her pale green eyes lock with mine. I feel something between us shift, as we breathe in new air.

Evelyn tries to move closer to me, but winces and puts a hand on her rib. It kills me to see her in so much pain. I sit closer, holding her hand in both of mine. "Take it easy." Her chest rises and falls steadily, and I watch as she fights off sleep. "You need to rest," I say, "Don't worry. I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere."

And with that, she falls asleep.

☾A L I Q U I S☽

I've always had a soft spot for Evelyn.

Then again, I've always had a soft spot for people in pain.