it makes you inhuman
Luka's hand brushed past a wool material. It was half-hearted, the movement was. The row of neatly placed blazers should have spurred thoughts of his upcoming graduation day. What occupied the space in his head was, rather, the fact that he had only one day. One day to convince Evaughn that his life was in danger.
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the photograph that he picked up near Evaughn's house.
He stepped away from the arrangement of formal attire when someone wanted to pass by. It was an older man whose appearance caught his attention.
Luka's head lowered, lifted, and lowered to lift back up.
The idea was fleeting, knocked down by rationality and common sense; a dead person wouldn't be... alive. Yet he held the photograph closer anyway. Save for the hollow on his face, the customer resembled Evaughn's father.
He caught the eye contact and offered Luka a neighborly smile. Dazed, Luka watched him round the rack of suits, shuffling through the options with a fold on his forehead.
"Mr. Altair, your suit."
Luka snapped his head left.
"We made all the modifications, so it should fit perfectly now."
He received the garment bag. "Thank you."
"My pleasure." The tailor bowed his head before walking to the man across. "May I help you with anything, sir?"
Their volume diminished as they became occupied in conversation about fabrics. Luka stalled, eyes alternating from photograph to real life a final time. It was uncanny, the similarity.
He eventually stepped outside, afraid he was accidentally being a creep. Once seated in his car, Luka threw the suit onto the seat beside him. He had enough time before classes began, so he decided to get some breakfast.
He drove to Dani's Coffee House, only a block from Richmond's. The hanging doorbell above chimed when he entered, fueling the realization that, for the first time in a long time, he was getting coffee without Iris at his side. Coupled with the absence of her company, the abundance of memories they had created made him feel unnaturally light.
At Dani's, Luka asked her to be his girlfriend.
At Dani's, they shared their first kiss.
They had made it a habit to sit and talk before walking the block to school, so it was not surprising that Iris was there as well.
Amongst the countless heads of students who took advantage of the café being so close to school, she sat in the far corner with a venti strawberry açaí lemonade with strawberry purée on top. Smiling, he exhaled a puff of air from his nose; it was the same order as always.
Luka waited in line behind a few people, stealing occasional glances at Iris who was focused on her phone.
He felt a hand on his bicep before seeing the girl who touched him. She snaked her body in front of him.
"Hey, Luka."
"Chloe." He nodded at his peer. They were both in the Honors Program. "You can skip me if you want."
"Oh no, I'm not here to order. I just noticed you're not with Iris. I heard the rumor, but I didn't believe you guys actually broke up." Her ginger tresses shifted right when she tilted her head. "You did, didn't you?"
He nodded slowly. From the angle, Luka couldn't tell whether her lips her curled up. What he did know was that her palm was still on his arm, and it inched towards his chest. He gave the gesture a brief look. "Was there something you needed?"
"Do you maybe want to hang out tonight? Preferably at my house?"
"Huh?"
"Yeah, we can watch that new movie together and order pizza, or something."
"I don't know if..."
"If what?" Chloe craned her neck to catch his attention. It was slowly diverging from her.
"Sorry, I have to go." Luka was turnt around already, legs quickening as he maneuvered around the crowded shop.
He closed the gap on the girl that was hovered over Iris' table. Mariette Leroux, that is.
"...know you have it, I can fucking track it."
"What's going on?" Luka joined the small commotion, positioning himself between the two girls who apparently knew each other? "Marie, why are you yelling at her?"
His cousin placed a hand on her hip and dipped her waist. "Oh, don't say it like she's all innocent, Luka. She stole my earring and I'm getting it back."
"Luka, please stay out of this."
"Caynes, my earring. Or else I get angry."
Straight-faced, Iris retrieved a gold stud from her bag and dropped it onto Mariette's open hand.
"Now, tell me. What do you know?"
"What are you talking about?"
"What did you find out? I won't ask again."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Iris pronounced each syllable, gaze unwavering. "It looked expensive. I was going to sell it."
Mariette rolled a tongue behind her cheek. "You must not get it, Caynes. If I find out that you're lying to me, we're going to have a serious problem."
The air between them was taut, and it pulled Luka in. "I don't know what's going on, but whatever it is, you're not going to do anything to her."
With a shoulder pointed to the exit, she glared. "You're lucky I can tolerate you," she muttered before leaving.
When she was out of sight, he turned to Iris. "How do you know her?"
"That's none of your business."
"Iris, please just tell me."
"I don't have to do anything."
He plopped himself in the seat across her. "After this, I won't talk to you again, and you won't ever have to see my face again. I promise."
Iris blinked at his stuck out pinky. Eyes diverting, she mumbled. "That's... I never said I don't want to talk to you again. What that girl and I were talking about has nothing to do with you. Or me for the most part."
He lowered his volume, although amongst the noise there was no need to. "Is it about Evaughn?"
Her head jerked.
"His... trafficking."
"How do you know about it?"
"I just do," he said, and neither of them spoke for a while.
Ironically, the former couple was seated together again. This time, they shared an emotion that had nothing to do with love or romantics.
"I'm scared, Luka. I don't even want to go to school because I might see him. I mean, how am I supposed to tell him?"
"It won't matter. He won't believe you."
She placed a hand over her face and let it rest there. "Do you know that his dad is alive?"
His silence was telling. For Luka, everyone around him was reduced to nothing but background noise.
"How do I tell Eve that? I mean, should I? Is it wrong not to? I have no idea. I accidentally found out all of this, and now I feel responsible if we end up losing him." She whispered her panic, "What if we lose him?"
"We won't."
The trust that clothed green did not stray from its purpose. Steady was the contact made by the boy with eyes of nature. "We won't lose him."
She turned away from green. "That's easier said than done."
"Trust me." He nodded before scooting his chair back.
"Where are you going?"
"To find his dad. If I hurry, he'll still be at the suit shop," he mumbled.
"What? Are you being serious?"
He was. In fact, Luka saw logic in no other option, and his options were few and time, limited.
"Can you—," Iris reached over for his arm and pulled him back onto the chair. "—sit down and think for once? We're talking about a man who abandoned his son. What makes you think he cares about Eve? What if he wants nothing to do with him?"
"That's not how I see it."
"Luka, this isn't the time for you to have high hopes about people. We have to be realistic—."
"I'm not delusional."
Iris choked on whatever she would've said next.
Luka sighed. "Just trust me."
"Do you really think it's a good idea?"
"If I'm wrong and he isn't a good person, you have all rights to beat me up."
Sighing, she surrendered. "Fine. Damien Ruhl. That's his name. My mom worked with him before he changed his identity and moved to New York City. She doesn't know why he's back here. If you're going to look for him, do it quickly."
Standing, he cocked his head affirmatively.
Until he reached the exit, his body twisted to and fro around the customers. Nonetheless, his movements were pointed. Luka unlocked his car well before he reached it. He didn't think to put on his seatbelt nor his eyewear. Luckily, the shop wasn't far from Dani's, and traffic around a high school was light.
Into the almost-empty parking lot, Luka steered. At the same time, a figure strolled towards an SUV. Even without his glasses, Luka saw perfectly the slash in Damien's skin before he entered the vehicle.
When the vehicle moved, Luka stepped on the gas, forcing Damien to brake. The cars created the shape of a T with their alignment.
The two stepped onto the pavement, Damien as reluctant as he was confused. "Did I drive into you?"
"No, I did."
"Okay." He nodded slowly. "Well, since none of us took any damage, I'll agree to let it go." Smiling, he stepped backwards. "Have a good day."
"We have a lot to talk about, Damien."
His chin shifted. "What?"
Luka held up the photograph and pulled his lips into a firm line. "I know you haven't forgotten him."
•••
Dani's Coffee Place was gradually emptying as the start of classes approached. Iris was among the few students who lingered behind. With terrible posture, she typed into her search bar:
What chemical has a brownish color?
She frowned as the results were inconsistent. There were at least five possibilities. Iris needed clarity and an explanation for the strange chemical that she found hidden inside Mariette's earring.
She realized it the previous night while fiddling with the earring in case it was hiding more than just a microchip. Underneath a beam of sunlight, she noticed a vapor diffusing into the air from the cavities that made up the earring's intricate design.
The weird vapor led her to find a removable spot that could only be taken off with a tiny needle. Inside was a small dose of liquid chemical, slightly brown in hue.
When she poured the portion into a small tube, a frenzy of questions poured into her.
It was fitting, the role she gave herself. As someone afraid of the unknown, discovery was her cure.
Having Chemistry as a first class was convenient for the impatient girl. When the teacher allowed everyone to work on their project, Iris took out the test tube from her tote bag and placed it in a tube rack. While securing the tie on her plastic goggles, she twisted towards her lab partner.
Kayin Mensah planted her cheek onto the table surface and sighed abnormally loud. And then again for emphasis.
Iris giggled at the theatrics. "What's wrong, Kay?"
"You won't believe it." She picked herself up lazily. Her blazer (customized to represent the student staff of Tutor for Richmond's Success) had gotten stained from the dust on the table.
"Try me."
"Evaughn just quit."
"Quit as in... the tutor job?"
"Yeah. He was our best tutor. Seriously, everyone loved him. I'm just so confused. I thought he liked teaching. I don't understand why he suddenly quit." Kayin ruffled her hair, groaning. "A lot of the sophomores are expecting him today since their exams start soon."
Iris' hands slowly lowered. "And he didn't tell you why?"
"No. He just told me he isn't coming back anymore. Didn't even bother coming to school today."
"Oh."
Fresh in Iris' mind were Evaughn words, spoken clearly the day before. Iris hadn't thought much of it then, but with the context she had now, it was obvious that he was somewhat aware of Project Evaughn.
'I think I'm scared of how much I know.'
'I mean, your fate doesn't depend on what you know. It happens anyway.'
Acceptance.
What she first interpreted as pessimism was actually acceptance in its raw form. Evaughn knew, no doubt, and he was not resisting.
How terrifying the thoughts responsible for his tolerance must've been.
"What's that?"
"Huh?"
"That."
Iris traced her partner's eyes and landed on the tube. "Oh, this? I don't know, actually. I was hoping you'd help me find out since we're done with our project already." She smiled sheepishly.
Kayin leaned forward, holding up the glass to her face. "Why?"
"Uh," she stumbled. "It's for a different class. I'm taking... a college-level course. Just to get ahead."
"As expected from Iris Caynes." She brought the glassware closer and smelled it. "Smells like tobacco."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Don't ask how I know."
"Got it," she chuckled.
"We can take off this cap and see how it reacts under a bright light. If it turns a darker brown, then it's probably nicotine. Don't ask how I know that either."
"Here." She handed Kayin a magnifying glass since they were working with a tiny dose. The former turned on the horizontal lights at their station and waited for Kayin's judgement.
The wall clock ticked once. Twice. Three times.
She laid down the lens. "Has to be nicotine."
"Thanks, Kayin."
"Sure." She nodded. "But y'know, it is weird that a school would let you work with nicotine. That stuff is dangerous."
"Right..." Iris repeated, frowning as even more questions emerged.
Did Mariette vaporize the nicotine to inhale it? If so, why was there such a tiny amount? There was no way anyone could be satisfied from a dose that small.
So what was it?
The vapor was being released from the earring, so when worn, it could enter the body through the ears.
But why?
"Did you know," Kayin began while looking at herself through the camera on her phone. She picked at her afro, perfecting its shape. "If nicotine gets into your body for a really long time, it can deform your prefrontal cortex—the front section of your brain," she paused to stick a hairpin between her teeth. "And it literally changes your personality."
"Right..."
"It makes you inhuman," she worded. "Like, the type of people who kill and don't feel sorry about it."
Iris' lips remained parted.
She remembered that, like his sister, Dimitri wore an earring. Memories of vivid hue came dancing in her head from the time Iris' heart would pick up pace around him. They were 10 when she had a small crush on him. Back when he was much kinder.
Once, she asked Dimitri why he wore it. The answer he gave planted itself in Iris' mind as if she were reliving that moment with him. It created shivers on her neck.
I dunno, I've always worn it. My sisters do, too. But... can I tell you something weird?
What is it?
When I don't wear it a lot, I feel different. Like I'm, I don't know, more
me.
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