Hi!!! Before you start Reading i just want to point out that english isn't my first language so im sorry If something is wrong! Enjoy and im sorry for all the angst

Evan Rosier shuffled through his chores in silence, his movements mechanical as he folded his clothes. The air in the room was thick with the usual hum of thoughts that buzzed in his mind—thoughts he couldn't escape. As he folded his shirts, he avoided looking at his own reflection in the mirror, careful not to let his gaze linger too long. The sleeves of his shirts were all long, just like the ones he had packed for Hogwarts. He hadn't even considered short sleeves this year. The idea of exposing anything, any part of himself, felt like an invasion he wasn't ready for.

His mother's voice broke through the silence, calling from the kitchen, and he snapped out of his daze. He sighed, quickly finishing his task and leaving the room. The house felt too quiet. Everyone else was gone, and Evan was left alone with his thoughts, and that was when it hit him—the weight that seemed to settle deeper into his chest with each passing day. He couldn't ignore it anymore, no matter how hard he tried.

Later that night, after a long day of pretending everything was fine, Evan sat at his desk. The flickering candlelight cast shadows across the room as he pulled out his diary. He hadn't written in it in months, but tonight, something made him pick it up again. His hand hovered over the paper for a long time before he began writing.

*Dear Diary,*

It's strange, really, how easily I slip into this. Writing, I mean. I used to think it was stupid, something only people who couldn't deal with things would do. But here I am. The funny thing is, I don't even know where to start.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately—about everything, I suppose. The summer felt different this time. I started talking to someone. She told me it might help to say things out loud, things that I've been keeping to myself for... a long time. I wasn't sure, at first, but it's been kind of helpful. At least, I think it has been. I'm still not sure about it all.

She said that talking about what happened might make it easier, that the weight might feel lighter if I just let it out. But I don't know if I'm ready for that. There are so many things I can't bring myself to say. So many things I've locked away because I'm scared that once I start, I won't be able to stop. I don't even know where to begin.

Hogwarts is starting again soon, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Everyone's acting like nothing's changed, like they don't notice the difference in me. But I can feel it. And I'm not sure they'd understand if I told them. It's easier to keep quiet, to just get through the day without anyone asking.

The weird thing is, I've been given everything anyone could want. My family has money, power, status. The house-elves take care of me, make sure everything's perfect. Pandora seems fine. She's always fine. She's so... normal. She has friends, she doesn't seem to worry about anything. She's always there, checking in on me like she knows something's wrong, but she never pushes. She cares about me, but I don't think I care about myself.

At Hogwarts, no one sees it. I walk around like everything's normal. But it's not. I feel like I'm fading sometimes. And yet, no one notices, not even Pandora. Maybe they don't want to see it, or maybe they just don't care.

I've packed everything I need for school this year. But for some reason, I didn't pack any short sleeves. It's silly, I know, but I can't bring myself to do it. I don't want anyone to see anything. There's too much I'm hiding, and I'm not sure I can ever be ready to let it go.

-Evan

The morning of their departure to Hogwarts, the Rosier household was quieter than usual. The large, well-appointed home had the usual bustle—house-elves preparing meals, the sound of owls fluttering about, and the low hum of Evan's parents talking in the other room. But despite the activity, Evan felt a thick, suffocating silence that clung to him, one he couldn't escape. Pandora was already downstairs, packing the last of her things. She was radiant as always, her bright smile and easy grace making it look like the world was just as it should be.

Evan, on the other hand, felt like he was walking in a haze. He moved mechanically through the house, carrying his trunk to the front door without really thinking. Pandora, sensing the tension in the air, tried to talk to him, but Evan kept his responses short. She was concerned, as usual, but he wasn't in the mood to talk. Not now. Not with everything that was weighing on him.

When the family finally made their way to the platform, the familiar sights of Platform 9¾ greeted them with the usual noise and excitement. Families were saying their goodbyes, students were laughing and talking, and somewhere in the middle of it all, Evan felt like a ghost. His eyes scanned the crowd, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he didn't belong, not in the way everyone else did. Pandora, with her warm goodbyes, was already surrounded by friends, her laughter echoing through the air. But Evan was alone, even with all the familiar faces around him.

The group began to form, one by one. First came James Potter and Sirius Black, walking side by side with their usual mischievous grins. Their banter filled the air, as always, and Sirius's bright eyes sparkled as he teased James about something. Remus Lupin, quiet but steady, walked a few steps behind them, his thoughtful gaze drifting between the group and the train. Then there was Peter Pettigrew, scurrying to catch up with the others, his usual nervous energy always evident.

Regulus Black arrived next, a slight tension between him and his brother, but the bond between them had grown stronger over the last year. Even though Regulus hadn't fully shaken the shadows of his family's expectations, there was a different kind of understanding now. The uneasy past was still there, but the present felt more tolerable.

Evan's gaze met Barty Crouch Jr. across the platform, and for a brief moment, the weight on Evan's chest lightened. Barty, ever the confident one, gave him a nod of acknowledgment, his eyes sharp, calculating, as usual. They were always in sync, even if Evan wasn't sure where his own thoughts were anymore. Barty's presence was familiar, a steady anchor he didn't know how to live without, though he didn't fully realize it.

Barty Crouch Jr. had always been a constant in Evan's life, a friend who knew him in ways others didn't. They'd been close for years, ever since they were children. Barty was one of the few people who truly understood the weight of being from a family like theirs—pureblood, powerful, and expected to uphold the family name no matter the cost. Unlike Evan, though, Barty embraced it all with unshakable confidence. His ambition was apparent in everything he did, his sharp mind always focused on bigger things, even if those things sometimes made Evan uneasy.

Barty had a certain intensity about him. He never seemed to struggle with the same quiet despair that Evan carried; instead, he exuded a kind of fervor, a drive that pushed him to excel, no matter the cost. They were a good match in that sense—Barty's fierce loyalty to their shared ideals made him a reliable friend, and Evan's more reserved, inward nature balanced Barty's fiery personality.

Still, Evan couldn't help but feel a distance between them lately. Barty, ever the ambitious one, had been consumed with his plans, his path toward greatness. Even though they spent hours together—scheming, laughing, talking about their futures—Evan often found himself wondering if Barty ever truly noticed the cracks in his own façade. Barty was too focused on the next step to see how Evan was barely holding himself together.

But that didn't stop Evan from feeling a certain level of comfort when Barty was around. His best friend's presence, brimming with energy and certainty, gave him a sense of normalcy, as if he could pretend for a little while that everything was okay. Barty was his anchor, even if Evan sometimes felt like he was drowning beneath his own weight.

Pandora, as usual, slipped in and out of the group with ease. She greeted everyone warmly, chatting with Lily Evans and Mary MacDonald, the other girls in their year, as they walked toward the train. Lily's bright red hair shone in the sunlight, her face always lit with a smile, while Mary's gentle laugh echoed in the group. There was something about their laughter, about the ease with which they fit in with the others, that made Evan feel even more isolated.

He couldn't help but notice how the group was finally coming back together, after a year that had shifted them all in different directions. It was almost like nothing had changed—like they were all picking up where they left off, all except for him. His heart sank as he realized just how much had changed.

He joined the others, Pandora slipping easily into the group while Evan fell into the background, silently observing. The chatter was warm, filled with anticipation for the coming year, but Evan's thoughts remained distant. As the train's whistle blew, signaling the final moments before departure, he stepped aboard, finding a seat next to Barty. He was quiet as the others filtered in, the cabin filling up with familiar faces and voices.

Despite the noise and movement around him, Evan's mind was far from the train, far from Hogwarts. His thoughts were still clouded with the same weight he'd been carrying all summer. He could almost hear the therapist's voice again, telling him that talking about things might help, but he couldn't bring himself to speak up. Not now, not here, not with everything else that was changing around him. The facade was easier, even if it was breaking him.

The train began to move, and the landscape outside the window blurred, but inside the compartment, Evan felt the distance growing between him and everyone else. He stared out the window, letting the motion of the train lull him into a kind of numbness, the familiar sounds of laughter and conversation fading away as the world outside became a blur. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep pretending, but for now, that was all he had. Pretending.