okay how the hell do I have 12k reads?! like come on guys I'm just not that good. why do you guys enjoy my horribleness? THANK YOU BUT WHY?! okay I'm done. here's the one-shot:

The hottest day of the summer was here and I was sitting in his room on the computer with the ac on max watching YouTube videos and looking at memes.

"CONNOR!"

"I'M BUSY ZOE!"

"NO YOUR NOT, YOU DON'T HAVE A LIFE!" she came in my room wearing a pink bikini and booty shorts holding a bag that had a towel and some other stuff in it.

"What do you want?" I said blandly

"I meeting Alana and Jared at the pool and I'm forcing you to come."

"Sorry sis but I'm actually sane, also you are aware I have no idea how to swim right?"

"I don't know. You could chill by the snack bar or in the shallow end or something. Plus I need someone to drive us."

"I'm good thanks."

"Awe to bad. I'm sure Evan would be disappointed."

"Why? He's not coming. WAIT IS HE!?" I tried my best not to think of Evan in a swimsuit but failing miserably.

"He is a lifeguard ya know." she said laughing. I knew I shouldn't have told Zoe I like Evan. I sighed, well here goes my dignity.

"Let me get my bathing suit."

"That's what I thought." she left the room to let me get changed.

When I was ready I came downstairs in a black bathing suit and a dark gray t-shirt. Alana and Jared were already down stairs talking to zoe, and by talking to Zoe I meant Alana and Zoe were talking about something while jared pretend to check a text on his phone.

"Alright let's go before I lose the little bit of pride I have left in me." I said as I approached the group.

"Wait Connor has pride?"

"Jared!" Alana hit his arm causing him to wince a little.

"Hey I have more than you." I did finger guns in jareds direction and he did not look amused.

"Connor!" Zoe hit my arm like Alana did to Jared but only diffrence is I didn't flinch.

"Lets just go." Jared mumbled while rubbing his arm. We walked out of the house and opened the car door to be met with a wave of heat.

~time skip brought to you by the 7 day vegan challenge. Solves all your problems baby. (let's see who gets this reference ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )~

We got to the pool to see that it was freakishly crowded and all we managed to get was one measly pool chair in the blazing hot sun. as soon as we put our stuff down both Zoe and Alana jumped into the pool.

"So... why did you come exactly?" Jared said while putting sunscreen on his arms.

"Truth be told, it's cuz I wanted to see Evan in a swimsuit."

"Why would he be in a swimsuit? He works at the snack bar."

"Zoe said he was a lifeguard! Man I was gonna pretend to drown or something."

"Woah, Connor, you just go played like a guitar."

"I'm gonna kill her. But I'm going over to the snack bar first."

"I'm coming with."

"Dude."

"What I'm hungry!"

"Didn't you pack some bath bombs or something?"

"ONE TIME MURPHY! I ATE A BATH BOMB ONE TIME!" I snickered quietly to myself while Jared pouted but followed nonetheless.

"Oh Jared we both know it was more than one time."

"No!"

"I have it on video at least three times."

"STALKER!"

"HA you admit it!"

"... I plead the fifth!"

"I win!" at this point Jared was pissed but that's okay because it was funny.

"That's it!" he pushed me towards the pool and I stumbled to the edge nearly falling in, but instead I tugged on his arm and spun him around so he fell in and I was still dry on the ground. That was close!

"Dude! I had my phone with me!" he said holding up his broken, wet phone, or a now more accurate term, iBrick.

"I'll buy you a new one." I said laughing reaching down towards the pool to help him up. He reached for my hand and when our hands were inches apart I pulled my hand away and dabbed. I could see the hatred burning in his eyes as I walked away.

"Go to hell!" he screamed after me. Now don't think I'm a total dick. I had my reasons for doing that. 1. I have no idea how to swim 2. Jared being Jared I could see the saltiness in his eyes and knew that if I helped him up that I would end up drowning in the pool.

"I'll meet you there." I said flipping my hair as I walked away to the snack bar.

"Die in a hole!"

"Gladly!" he shouted something else but at that point I was out of earshot and just didn't care, what I did care about was Evan. he was giving some pretty teenage blonde girl in a WAY to revealing bikini some ice cream.He was blushing madly and awkwardly rubbing his neck. I did my best to ignore the jealousy boiling in the pit of my stomach- ya know what, fuck it! I pushed the girl aside as she was handing Evan $2 for her ice cream.

"RUDE! Wait your turn dickhead!"

"Move it barbie and I'll be out of your probably fake blonde hair."

"Jackass."

"Careful now, don't let your brains get to your head." she walked off in a huff with Evan standing there looking amused and a little bit annoyed.

"W-was that really n-necessary?"

"Yes. yes it was."

"C'mon man, she was g-gonna give me a tip!"

"Here's a tip. Stay away from imbeciles like that. It'll hurt your head."

"Con-connor, she was friendly."

"Too friendly for my tastes, she was clearly flirting with you and you looked uncomfortable, so me being the amazing person I am, I saved you."

"F-first, she was getting that for her BOYFRIEND! s-second, I get nervous with all human interaction, and th-third you don't just push people then in-insult them."

"Well the past is the past." he rolled his eyes.

"Do you w-wanna get something or do you just w-wanna s-stand there?"

"Yeah can I have some water? Oh and also something for Jared I amy or may not have murdered his phone on the way over here. he chuckled as handed me a bottle of water and a bag of chips.

"Anything else?"

"Nope!"

"4.92" I handed him a five.

"Keep the change." I said trying to pull off a flirty wink.

"Wow eight cents. I feel so loved." he said deadpan.

"Hey what am I here for!" he laughed a little

"I'm on break in f-five minutes. I'll meet you at the pool?"

"Sure." I walked back to the pool chair and took off my shirt and hid my wallet, keys, phone, etc.and went to the edge of the shallow end dangling my feet in the water. I sat like that for a minute and stared up at the sky, watching the clouds, well I was until I felt something grab my feet and pull me under water that is. I gasped for air seconds before I was pulled under. I kicked who ever had pulled me under in the balls and pushed myself back to the surface.

"JARED FRANCIS KLEINMAN I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU!" I shouted pulling my wet hair out of my face.

"Uh connor? What exactly did I do to deserve death?" I turned around to see Jared along with Zoe and Alana on land, dry. Wait if that wasn't Jared then who- I saw Evan poke his head out of the water with a look of pure pain on his face.

"Evan! I'm so sorry! I thought you were Jared!"

"Ow..."

"Woah. Connor I think you broke him. What did you do?"

"He pulled me underwater and I thought it was you so I kicked him in the balls."

"HEY! That would have been painful!"

"It was." Evan choked out.

"I'm so sorry Ev! Is there anything I can do to make it better!?"

"Sure Connor. Kiss it and make it all better." Jared mocked from behind. In response I just flipped him off keeping my attention to Evan.

"I read that if you give yourself a brainfreeze it helps with pain." Alana said helping me and Evan out of the pool.

"Good thinking! Zoe, go get Evan a slushie, I'll pay you back later. I believe there's a 7/11 down the road." she nodded and left taking Jared with her while I stayed with Evan and Alana went to a life guard and asked for an ice pack.

"I'm sorry Ev. I honestly thought you were Jared." he smiled a bit but it was a week fake smile. Alana returned with the ice pack which Evan gladly took and put on his groin.

"Well one things for sure. I won't be able to have children anymore. But hey adoptions still cool." Both me and Alana laughed while Evan was still suffering but at least it wasn't bad enough that it erased his sense of humor. Zoe and Jared came back with a huge slushie from 7/11. "What flavor is it?" Evan asked taking the drink.

"Blue syrup and chemical flavored. Now drink." Zoe said handing me a receipt which I would look at later. Evan drank the beverage as fast as possible causing his face to scrunch up in pain.

"Uh I hate brainfreeze!" I rubbed his back in an effort to comfort him. Eventually Alana, Zoe, and Jared all left leaving me with my lifelong crush that I had just kicked in the balls. "T-thanks for staying with me."

"No problem Ev. it is kinda my fault anyway."

"No it's not. It's mine. I shouldn't have scared you like that."

"Honestly it's something I would have done so please don't apologize."

"O-okay. Sorry." god he's adorable. I wish I could just kiss him, or wrap my arms around him, or hold him close to me. But it's not good to dwell on the impossible. Or at least the very unlikely. You know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna give it a shot. I've come this far.

"Hey Ev? Can I ask you something?"

"S-sure."

"Would- uh what would you think about being maybe more than just friends?"

"What do you mean?"

"Ya know like more than friends."

"Like best friends?" my god he's such a smol cinnamon roll.

"No," I laughed. "More than that."

"Mega best friends?" ..... I can't tell if he's really that innocent or if he's friendzoning me.

"Do you wanna go out with me Evan?"

"Sure. where do you wanna go? Is everyone else coming too or is it just the two of us?" man the friend zone hurts.

"What? No. um Evan do you wanna be my boyfriend?"

"oh...OH I'm so sorry connor I'm an idiot! YES I do!" nevermind.

"Wait really?!"

"Yeah really!"

"Do ya wanna get outta here?"

"Sure! Let's go!" I grabbed his hand and we both stood up only to have Evan sit back down in pain. "It hurts to stand!" oh crap! Forgot about that.

"SORRY EV!"