I'm so sorry about how horrible this is. I just haven't been posting often and I felt really bad so I'm giving you something crappy. I promise there will be better content once school starts again. (I write better during the year I've noticed and I have no idea why) I wanted to try this AU for a while (and by that I felt guilty and went searching through my drive for something to give you guys XD) so sorry again. 

Kinkybathbombs added im_to_lazy_to_make_a_username and EvHan to a group chat

Kinkybathbombs: lets see how this plays out.

Im_to_lazy_to_make_a_username: what the hell is this?!

Kinkybathbombs: I was board and wanted entertainment.

Im_to_lazy_to_make_a_username: how did you find me?

Kinkybathbombs: your wonderful sister told me.

Im_to_lazy_to_make_a_username: excuse me while I go murder my sister.

EvHan: Jared

Kinkybathbombs: Yee

EvHan: why

Kinkybathbombs: I all ready told you I was board.

EvHan: whose @Im_to_lazy_to_make_a_username ?

Kinkybathbombs: ur boyfriend

EvHan: .....

EvHan: Who? I wasn't aware I had a boyfriend

Kinkybathbombs: it's connor

EvHan: WHAT! NO! ME AND CONNOR AREN'T DATING!

Kinkybathbombs: calm your tits Evan

Im_to_lazy_to_make_a_username: Dude, no one says that.

Kinkybathbombs: what do you want me to say? Soothe your boobs? De-stress your breasts? Undo the calamity that is to your mammies? Give your chest a rest? Hanuka your tatas? Don't have a rack attack?

EvHan: you are aware I'm a guy right? and you do know guys don't have boobs right?

Kinkybathbombs: EVERYONE SAYS CALM YOUR TITS!

Im_to_lazy_to_make_a_username: not really.

Kinkybathbombs: well your username is too long so I win at life

Im_to_lazy_to_make_a_username changed their username to I.don't.give.a.damn.jared

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: are you satisfied?

Kinkybathbombs: I'll never be satisfied.

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: who are you? Peggy?

Kinkybathbombs has left the conversation

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: success!

EvHan: connor that wasn't nice

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: to paraphrase westley from the princess bride: life isn't nice anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

EvHan: that's not true

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: oh yeah? Who's ever been nice to you

EvHan: you have

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: XD Evan I'm about as nice as a murder

EvHan: some murders can be nice....

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: name one

EvHan: I don't know any murders intimately

EvHan: the closest I've ever been to getting murdered was when I once lost my mom in the supermarket

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: I once lost my will to live. *finger guns*

EvHan: Omg Connor are you okay.

EvHan: If you need to talk I'm here for you I'm so sorry!

EvHan: Please don't commit suicide you have so much to live for.

EvHan: I mean what would your sister and parents do without you!

EvHan: What would I do without you! I love you connor please text back! ARE YOU THERE CONNOR!

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: .........

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: it was a joke Evan.

EvHan: oh... don't joke about that

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: okay. touchy subject. Also did you just say you loved me?

EvHan: .... That was a typo

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: cuz I'm down with going out with you if you meant it

EvHan: Uh me saying it was a typo was a typo. Damn auto correct am I right

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: okay then? So do you wanna go out then?

EvHan: yes! Definitely! Absolutely!

Kinkybathbombs joined the conversation

EvHan: JARED DON'T READ THE CONVERSATION ABOVE!

Kinkybathbombs: I wasn't but now I have to since you told me I'm not allowed to.

EvHan: please I'm begging you

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: look what you did now Evan!

Kinkybathbombs: GAYYYYY

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: shut the duck up Jared

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: *fuck

EvHan: CONNOR

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: what did I do? I didn't tell a suicide joke.

EvHan: don't swear!

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: how did I fall for an innocent little cinnamon roll  like you?

EvHan: I'm not that innocent.

Kinkybathbombs: why u always lying

EvHan: I'm not lying! I just give great life advice and I care about my friends.

Kinkybathbombs: Evan. sweetheart, you're more innocent than an eight year old.

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: Jared you're not allowed to call Evan sweetheart. It's creepy, and I'm the creepy one in this group.

EvHan added ILoveMilk to the conversation.

EvHan: Zoe do you think I'm innocent?

ILoveMilk: yep. Evan, you're as innocent as Jared is in love with bath bombs and the word kinky

EvHan: Zoe! I trusted you!

Kinkybathbombs: I don't love them THAT much

ILoveMilk: your user name is literally Kinkybathbombs

Kinkybathbombs: touché

EvHan: I'm still not that innocent!

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: I think it's kinda hot Evan

Kinkybathbombs: Kinky

EvHan: I mean I guess I'm a little innocent.

ILoveMilk: I'm gonna leave you gays alone

ILoveMilk: *guys but I guess gays works too

ILoveMilk left the conversation

Kinkybathbombs: Ditto. Don't do too much sexting. this is still a public chat.

Kinkybathbombs left the conversation

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: so I guess it's just us.

EvHan: yep. 

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: so before Jared and Zoe came we were talking about a date. would you like to continue that conversation?

EvHan: sure! where do you wanna go first off?

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: I don't know. how about the park? it's nice there.

EvHan: I'm cool with that

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: perfect! I'll pick you up at 7:30 

EvHan:  okay I'll see you at 7:30.

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared: luv u 

EvHan: luv u 2. see you then.

I.don't.give.a.damn.jared read at 9:55 am