here we go!

1. Q: Evan: What's your worst habit?

Evan: I-I d-donno w-what my worst h-habit is.

Jared: stuttering! You stutter all the fucking time and it's annoying as hell.

Connor: are you looking for a beating?

Evan: G-guys.

2. Q: Jared: what's your favorite flavor of bathbomb?

Jared: I don't eat bathbombs but if I did it'd probably be lavender.

Connor: how would you know if you've never tried?

Jared: sent. Duh. things smell the way they taste

Connor: but we dared you to eat-

Jared: NEXT QUESTION!

3. Q: Zoe: What's one thing you like about Connor.

Connor: ohhh zoe has to do the impossible!

Zoe: well connor is- his hair is- and he's so- hmm well I mean you're so- @TheWhiskersFormAshh the question you gave me is...

Connor: Impossible

Zoe: I was gonna say difficult but impossible works to.

4. Q: Alana: Can you tutor me?

Alana: sure! Let me check my schedule...

*alana flips through a very dense tiny blue book that has sticky notes sticking out.*

Are you available March 12th of 2018 at 3:30 pm?

5. Q: Connor: how long have you know you're gay?

Connor: wait!? I'm gay?!

*Evan pushes Connor, clearly not amused while Connor is snickering*

I guess about a year? That's around the time I met Evan, so that's my answer.

6. Q: Jared: how do your parents feel about you eating bathbombs?

Jared: I don't do that! I have no idea where that started!

Evan: M-most likely on tumblr.

Jared: WHY DOES EVERYTHING START ON TUMBLR!? These better not all be bathbomb questions...

7. Q:Connor: have you told your parents about Evan yet?

*Evan and Connor both turn bright red while Zoe is in the corner snickering.*

Connor: yes...

*Evan nods*

*Zoe burst out laughing while Jared and Alana stare in confusion and Connor and Evan try to get her to calm down*

Zoe: Mom thought Connor was getting high because he spent 5 whole hours in his room "alone" and we walked in wanting to catch him smoking but instead we found him eating Evan's face in the process of taking off his shirt!

*Jared and Alana Burst out laughing with Zoe*

Connor: ZOE! SOME THINGS ARE NOT FOR THE SHOULD NOT BE SAID!

*Connor is tomato red and Evan is hitting his head against a wall*

Zoe: relax it's not going on the internet or anything.

*jared hides his phone*

Jared: yeah this is between us... hey guys random question, do you know what wattpad is?

*everyone shakes their head*

Good.

Zoe: why?

Jared: I have a friend who writes gay stuff of the internet and she was asking me for prompts and definitely not having her readers provide these questions...

8. Q: Alana: Do you think of anyone as a friend? Maybe someone as more?

*Alana grabs Zoe's hand*

Alana: well I don't have many friends. Mostly acquaintances. Except for Zoe...

Jared: We get it everyone's gay. Whoopi Doo.

Alana: well at least I haven't been single all my life!

Jared: Touche.

9. Q: Jared: Would you murder Connor if he ever hurt Evan?

Jared: are you kidding?! No one is allowed to hurt Evan. I like Connor but he's no exception. And because he's so close to him I prepared a little something.

*jared pulls out a sheet of loose leaf from his breast pocket and unfolds it adjusting his glasses reading the writing.*

Originally Evan would be my partner in killing and hiding a body but that might be too disturbing so I had Zoe sign some forms and-

Zoe: I thought that was a joke!

Jared: that's cute. Anyway Alana agreed to be my alibi if I ever did something illegal. She'd be great because she takes speech and debate and could definitely convince a jury that I'm giuticent, I mean inagulty. I mean innocent. Anyway I'd probably push him off a building and make it look like a suicide. I of course would be wearing gloves so no one could trace my fingerprints on his back, it's also helpful that Connor has struggled with mental illness in the past because that would be a lot more convincing than just a random suicide. I already have a note written that basically says that he's sorry for hurting Evan and that he doesn't deserve to live, but it's still not Evan's fault. Ya know let him down easy kinda thing. Then I'd hide burn the body and mine and Zoe's clothing in their fire pit and dispose of the ashes in the dumpster behind the school while Zoe- Why's everyone staring at me like that?

*the entire group had looks of pure horror on their faces *

It was a joke guys...

Connor: was it though? That was very thought out...

Jared: only a little bit... okay this is awkward now next question.

10. Q: Jared: I personally don't think you eat bath bombs, but... just for those who do... do you??

Jared: NO! Guys c'mon. I had faith in you.

11. Q:Zoe: what do you think of Connor being Evan's boyfriend?

Connor: she thinks it's amazing.

Zoe: I didn't answer-

Connor: You think it's amazing! *connor says through grit teeth while glaring daggers at her*

Zoe: yeah... uh Connor's a great boyfriend... can't wait for the wedding...

Connor: good.

*Evan is bright red*

12. Q:For all: Cat's or dogs.

All: OH, WELL I NEVER, WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER AS MAGICAL MR. MISTOFFELEES!

Zoe: does that answer you question?

Jared: um actually I'm more of a dog person...

All except Jared: NOBODY CARES JARED

13. Q: Evan & Connor: do y'all ever go on double dates with other couples?

*Evan, Connor, Zoe, and Alana all glance at eachother and shudder.*

Evan: N-not anymore!

*they all nod*

*jared sits there awkwardly.*

14. Q: Connor: is there any bit of Evan's clothing that you like to always steal and wear?

Connor: never. I'm so not Evan's size. He's too short.

Evan: huh. Nevermind then. I was gonna ask you where my blue polo went because I could have sworn I saw it in your room a couple days ago...

*connor's starting to sweat.*

Connor: you're misremembering things...

Evan: are you okay?

Connor: I'm Fine. Next question!

15. Q: Jared: I'm genuinely curious as to your opion of Connor and Evan.

Jared: I think Evan is amazing! If I was gay, and I'm not, but if I was, I would be dating Evan. I'm surprised that connor could feel emotions other than anger, but yeah I don't have any objections... yet. And if something does happen... read question 9.

16. Q: you inherit a million dollars the day before aliens say their gonna take over the world in two days. What d'ya do?

Jared: did someone comment a heather's reference and we're actually using it?

Zoe: what d'ya do Jared?

Jared: I donno. Probably spend it all on stupid shit.

Connor: like bath bombs?

Jared: ONE TIME MURPHY! I DID IT ONE TIME!

Zoe: I'd keep it safe so I have something to fall back on when I'm hiding out.

Alana: well I'd try to convert it to their currency and do my best to bribe the aliens out of our solar system.

Evan: I'd buy a bunch of survival stuff. Food, water, a safe place to hide. Stuff like that.

Connor: I'd spend it all on Evan. if we're only gonna survive two days I'm gonna make it count damit.

Evan: Connor. That's so sweet.

Jared: that's so gay. Next question.

17. Q:Evan: do you only wear one blue shirt or do you have others?

Evan: I have others I just like that one the most. I just can't seem to find it.

*connor starts to get nervous again.*

Connor: it'll turn up eventually.

18. Q: Connor: will you ever stop finishing the milk?

Connor: who are you, Zoe?

Zoe: Milk is good for your health okay! It's delicious and nutritious

Connor: and people say I'm crazy.

19. Q: Jared: *looks around and whispers* do you really eat bathbombs?

Jared: oh my fucking god. Guys once I did it once. And only because the emo gay dared me too!

20. Q: Evan: does Connor know about your old crush on zoe?

*Evan is bright red and trying to hide his face*

Evan: uh y-yeah.

Connor: He told me recently. I'm not really pleased about it though.

*connor shoots a look at and Evan who responds with a weak apologetic smile. *

It's okay, as long as I have all your unconditional love now.

*connor moves Evan to his lap*

Evan: you do. Trust me you do.

*Evan lightly kisses connor*

Jared: alright next question. Don't want to die from gayness.

21. Q: Connor if you had to choose between all the weed in the world or Evan's love, which would you choose.

*jared pretends to have a heart attack*

Jared: THE GAY! IT HURTS SO BAD!

Connor: what- I uh.

Evan: CONNOR?! Why is this hard for you?!

Connor: well I already have all your love so I'm gonna go with weed.

*Evan pinches the bridge of his nose*

Evan: c'mon connor. We pulled you out of rehab for a reason.

Connor: I was having nightmares okay!

Evan: I doubt the stories were THAT scary.

Connor: you have no idea ev-

Zoe: Weed or Evan, Connor! The question is saying you can't have both. Choose one.

*jared cracks knuckles*

Jared: choose wisely Murphy.

Connor: Evan.

Evan: thank you.

*Connor lightly kisses Evan's neck in apology.*

22. Q: Connor: what's your favorite part of being an emo rainbow slinky?

Connor: what the actual fuck?

Evan: I thinks that's amazing *evan says through fits of laughter.*

Connor: who the hell came up with that?!

*jared is snickering looking at the question.*

Jared: *mumbled* nice someone used my emo rainbow slinky thing!

Zoe: what did you say?

Jared: hm oh I told my friend to use it in one of her gay fanfic things.

Connor: this is absolutely ridiculous.

Evan: you need to answer the question Connor.

Connor: I have no favorite part because I'm not a fucking emo rainbow slinky!

23. Q: Evan: did you ever tell connor how you're really broke your arm?

Evan: yep...

Jared: he fell out of a fucking tree like an acorn!

*entire group breaks down in laughter while Evan is sitting there uncomfortably trying to laugh*

Evan: yeah... that was... something...

Connor: I'm sorry you broke your arm Ev but that was just so sad yet so funny.

Evan: it's cool...

Connor: *still recovering from laughter* you okay Ev?

Evan:*mumbled* yeah, I'mcooltotalyfinejustpainfulmemoriesthat'sall.

Jared: what did you say?

Evan: Nothi-

Jared: nevermind I don't care.

24. Q: Jared: tell me all the cute couple things that Connor and Evan do. The fangirls need to know!

Jared: WHERE DO I START?! Well first sometimes evan will be rambling about something while connor is pretending to listen-

Connor: I listen!

Jared: not even Evan listens to himself ramble.

Evan: hey-

Jared: well anyway while he's pretending to listen Evan will ask him a question and he'll have no idea what to say so he'll just say *jared does a bad impression of connor's voice* i dunno but I do know I love you. And then he'll just hug him and kiss his neck until Evan tells him to stop. OH and sometimes Connor will go on these long depressing monologues about how life sucks and stuff and Evan will always end up crying and feeling bad for connor, it's cuter than it sounds.

Alana: alright then? Moving on...

25. Q: Evan: did you know people ship you and Jared together?

Evan: I was not aware of that...

*jared gags*

Jared: I'm about as straight as a rainbow is gay.

Alana: well actually a rainbow is just the bending of light that the eye perceives as color and more often than not the colors are in straight lines as opposed to the cliche arch.

Jared: I'M NOT GAY AND I DON'T EAT BATH BOMBS!

Zoe: that's something a gay guy that eats bath bombs would say.

Jared: I'm done with life. Kill me now please.

26. Q:Connor: how do you feel about people shiping Kleinsen?

*connor protectively grabs Evan.*

Connor: MINE! FUCK OFF!

27. Q: Jared: can you say something nice about everyone in the group?

Jared: I don't do "nice". Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

28. Q: Evan: would you marry a tree if someone dared you to?

Evan: No!

Jared: omg he so totally would

Evan: I would not!

Jared: sure...

Evan: c'mon Jared!

Jared: someone get connor a tree costume!

Evan: JARED! I- uh just-

Jared: man this is gonna be kinky.

Alright. That's all the questions! Hope you enjoyed! I tried to do as many as I could without it getting too long (15 pages on google drive) but yeah hope you found this funny. Also just wanted to say that the comments you guys leave make my day! I'm doing a lot of work and it's so good to see it's paying off. I love you guys! 

sincerely, 

your very grateful author,

me.