Due to popular demand.

Benji and Emily apologized for christine because of how awkward it was when they found out about what she had said at pre k. I said it was fine... I didn't tell them about the mouthwash joke though... Connor wasn't allowed there ever again.

Two months later Benji and Emily had to go to yet another wedding, Bumper and fat Amy? Why fat Amy and not just Amy? Whatever. I had to take christine to day care again, and while it would be a lot more boring without Connor it was for the best. I had christine in the passenger side of my car when I got a text from someone.

"Christine, can you read yet?"

"Yeah! Mommy taught me early so I could be smarter than everyone else in kindergarten!"

"Great. Could you read me that text."

"Sure!" she picked up my phone "it's from c- con- conno- connor." she said sounding out his name. "It says wyd? What does wyd mean?"

"It means what are you doing. Tell him I'm taking you to daycare." she typed something. "Ask him what he's doing." she typed another message.

"He said mastorbating. What does that mean?" I felt myself starting to sweat.

"Uh nothing! Connor's making up words." connor! What are you doing with your life!?

"I'll just ask Connor since you don't know either."

"NO DON'T DO THAT!"

"It's too late. He's replying now." fern fern fern "he asked if you were okay... he also said it's like pro-procras-procrastin-procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself! Connor uses a lot of words I don't know."

"Yeah. don't say anything Connor says okay."

"Okay. He asked if he could meet you at daycare."

"Tell him no." she typed again.

"He said you spelling is terrible and that you should turn on auto correct." 

"Tell him I'm driving and I'll text him later." she typed. we pulled into the parking lot. Christine jumped out and ran to some of her toddler friends. They were cute. I looked at them from my car for a minute before something else caught my attention. Connor's truck pulling into the lot. I ran out of the car to Connor who was smirking and it was annoying as fern!

"What are you doing here?!"

"Saying hello to my favorite boyfriend."

"I would normally ask if you were cheating on me because you said favorite but I'm to angry right now. You should have known better then to come here."

"1. I said favorite because I recently decided I'd cheat on you with pizza after I ate 4 whole pies. No joke Evan I feel like a slut. And 2. Why can't I come here?!"

"Because you say thing like that! Are you high?"

"I'm not high! I'm stoned as fuuuuccckk..."

"Connor! You could have died! You know better then to drive stoned!"

"I clearly don't." he got out of the car and started making his way to the pre k as I tried desperately to hold him back. He managed to get in the building. I was stopped by a woman who said I needed to sign in Christine, I did as quickly as possible while also trying to find connor. I saw him talking to one of the mothers which could not end well. I went over to them as nonchalantly as possible considering I was freaking out.

"I definitely consider myself a feminist. I mean life without women would be a pain in the ass, literally. I mean it already is for me if you know what I'm say-" I cut him off.

"Hi I'm Evan. sorry my boyfriend isn't feeling well today I'm gonna quickly take him home. I'm sorry about whatever he said to you." I grabbed Connor's wrist and dragged him towards the exit but we were stopped by the lady.

"I'm sorry but you can't leave your child unsupervised."

"Please I just need to take my boyfriend home."  

"I'm sorry. You are stuck here until 2:00." it was 9 am now. Perfect.

"Thanks" I mumbled as I took Connor's wrist and dragged him back to his place on the bench. "You're not allowed to talk okay?"

"But-"

"No. not in front of the children." he nodded disappointed. "Good." I pet his hair as we looked at the toddlers.

"Okay kids! Time for show and tell! Jack, why don't you go first." some random kid stood up and walked to the front of the room holding a stuffed bear.

"This is my friend tiffles! I won him at a fair because I'm amazing at whack-a-mole! I won against my dad! I've had him for like 2 weeks which is basically forever and he's my best friend!"

"That's very nice Jack. everyone say ooooh aaaaah." the entire class said oooh aaaah "are there any questions?" one kid in a red hoodie raised his hand. "Yes."

"It's kinda a stupid question."

"There are no stupid questions."

"What's the difference between ooooh and aaaah?" the teacher was about to answer but Connor being Connor he had to answer.

"Well you see..." he squinted at the name tag the kid was wearing from across the room. "Michelle..."

"Michael."

"Same thing. The difference between ooh and aah is about 3 inches. I can tell you from personal experience though that-"

I put my hand over his mouth as I felt my face become burning hot. Once the teacher had regained the attention of the class I scolded Connor for making the joke and he insisted that he wasn't joking. I was not amused.

~timeskip to after show and tell brought to you by my unhealthy obsession for memes and musicals~

"Alright time for recesses!" most of the kids started playing with blocks and stuff while the adults took out their phones. I say most of the kids because one of the little kids came up to me and connor and asked:

"Were you here like 2 months ago?" it was the same kid that had asked the question about the bear at show and tell.

"Yeah. why?" connor said.

"Are you the gay people?"

"Yes." this was not gonna end well

"Why are you gay?"

"My dad say that I'm gay because I don't like sports. What an idiot am I right?  I'm gay because I like cock."

"Huh?" I decided to intervene knowing this would only get worse.

"He means being gay is completed.  Some people are born gay and it's a genetic mutation, sometimes it's developed over time. No matter the circumstance though you can't help it."

"Huh?"

"We're gay because girls have cooties." Connor said to the kid wanting him to go away.

"Can I be gay!? I don't want cooties!"

"Well it's-"

"Of course! Follow your dreams! Go make out with a dude!" Connor cut me off.

"Snack time!" the teacher yelled. The boy ran off and I was giving Connor death glares. Being angry took up a lot of energy and I just needed a break. I made the excuse of needing to use the bathroom and left hoping that Connor wouldn't kill himself or something. I navigated my way to the men's room and looked at memes for ten minutes before coming back to the bench with Connor and all the mothers. When I came back I saw that Connor had a group of kids surrounding him while he was laughing his ass off. Uh oh.  I went up to them casually and sat down.

"Evan Evan look at this. Say it Christine!"

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?"

"What?" I asked.

"She gagged." Connor burst out laughing while the other kids looked confused.

"CONNOR?!"

"What?! It's funny! Tell another Christine!"

"No don't."

"HEY EVERYONE!" Christine said. "What did O say to Q?" There was a loud "what" coming from the children. "He said 'DUDE! Your dick is hanging out!'" The teacher, the parents, and me all turned bright red. I grabbed Christine's and Connor's hands and pulled them outside while I apologized to the parents and staff I saw on my way out. I got in my car loading Christine in the back.

"Evan? Why are we leaving early again?"

"Because Evan is a buzzkill."

"We're going to the park."

"Why?"

"Because I need to talk to you gets in private. Also I'm never showing my face in that day care again."  We drove to the park in silence. When we got there we walked to a bench and I sat Christine down on my lap.

"Listen. Those jokes you were telling were not appropriate for kids your age."

"Evan come on."

"Shut up Connor. Look. You shouldn't tell any joke you don't understand. If you don't understand it then you can't tell when it's appropriate."

"But Connor said it was funny."

" don't do things just because someone says it's cool or funny. Connor has a very odd sense of humor."

"At least I have one." When I get home I'm gonna kick his ass.

"Do what you think is right. Not what people tell you to do okay?"

"Okay."

"Good. Now go play on the trees. I'll spot you come on." I stood up and walked to the trees with her leaving Connor on the bench. I'll talk to him later.

~time skip of a couple days.~

When Connor became sober he said he had no memory of what happened and I was giving him the silent treatment because I was so horrified at what he did at the daycare. Connor eventually found out and apologized to the teacher via e-mail and sent me numerous texts and voicemails saying he was sorry and he'll never get high around children again. I did eventually forgive him and he has kept his promise since then. And everything has been okay.