I don't know if this counts as a fourth wall break or a big reference. Also you should know who Benji from Pitch Perfect is for this chapter. You don't have to but it makes some of the jokes funny.

I was sitting in Connor's lap while he "listened" to me rant about trees. I could tell he wasn't really listening because he was lightly kissing my neck and shoulders while picking at my cast, which couldn't be good for it but whatever.

"Trees never die of old age! They are like the longest living organisms on the planet!" at that moment my phone rang. I looked at the caller id and saw it was my mom. "Give me a second Con." I put the phone to me ear.

"Hello."

"Hey honey."

"What's up."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Depends. What's the favor?"

"Do you remember my younger brother Benji?"

"Uncle Benji? As in the guy that always does magic at family reiouns, the guy that looks so much like me it's creepy, the only guy in the world that's more horrible at flirting then I am?"

"No one's worse at flirting then you." connor said playing with my hair. I brushed him away and told him to be quite.

"Yes I remember him."

"Well do you remember his daughter?"

"Yeah."

"Well she has to go to this pre k thing and-"

"No."

"What?"

"I'm not going. Look I like Christine a lot but that place is horrible."

"It's not that bad. Besides, when have you ever even been?"

"Like 2 months ago. Everyone got sick remember? I had the flu for like a week."

"Oh I kinda remember that."

"Yeah."

"You still have to go. I'm going to class and Benji and Emily are going to some wedding. Someone named Beca and Jesse."

"Mom, please. I'm with Connor."

"I don't care."

"Fine." I hung up the phone and threw it across the room into a pile of Connor's dirty laundry.

"What was that about?"

"My mom wants me to take my cousin to pre k."

"That doesn't seem that horrible."

"You can't leave."

"So?"

"So, that sucks when you're 17, have social anxiety, and are surrounded by loud little kids and new moms." he chuckled a little.

"I can come too."

"Thank you." I hugged him a little too tightly.  "I love you so much you have no idea!"

"Yeah yeah. I love you too." he patted my back and kissed my head as I let go of him.

We hopped in Connor's truck, having my phone navigate to Benji's house. The whole car ride I was telling Connor about everything about Benji. While he half listened. I wasn't to mad because Connor was the worst driver of all time, seriously, it's like he has a death wish. We arrived at the house and rung the doorbell. On the other side there was a very frazzled Benji in a suit with his wife standing behind him in a knee high red dress with black lace.

"Hey."

"Hey. wow, Evan, you've gotten so big."

"Y-yeah." I gave Connor a help me look, luckily Benji  spoke before Connor could.

"And uh who are you?"

"I'm Connor, Evan's boyfriend. He can't drive yet so I guess I'm also his shofer." Benji laughed as him and Connor shook hands. And I was thanking my lucky stars that I didn't have to introduce Connor. Benji took us in and called down Christine as his wife, Emily, was doing her best to make small talk. When Christine came down she was wearing green leggings, a black and white checkered dress, knee high mismatched socks, and light up Dora sneakers. She ran up to me and tackled me in a huge hug... Well as huge as possible when you're 3 feet tall.

"Evan!"

"Hello Christine!" I picked her up and spun he around.

"Who's dhat?"

"This is Connor."

"He has nice hair. Can I brwaid it?!"

"No... trust me." I looked at Connor who scowled at me. 

"Are you fwends?"

"We're better then friends." Connor said "we're boyfriends." he put his arm around me and my face turned a little red.

"Huh?"

"Their gay sweetheart." Emily said. "Their like daddy and I but... in training... but their both daddies... I guess..." she shrugged really unsure how to explain dating and gayness to a 3 yearold. 

"So they love each other?"

"Yes. very much so." Connor kissed the top of my head and I felt my face heating up. PDA always made me nervous.

"Okay! Let's go!" she grabbed my arm and led me to Connor's truck as I quickly said my goodbyes to Benji and Emily.

~time skip to at the daycare brought to you by Elder Price.~

Connor and I were dying of boredom. We were trying to have a conversation but it always ended up inappropriate so we ended up playing on our phones to spare the innocence of any child that might be passing by.  

"This letter is F. F as in father, and fox, and fangs! Do you know any words that start with F?" the teacher said way to enthusiastically, especially since she had been doing this exact same thing for the other first five letters of the alphabet.

"Faries!" one kid shouted out

"Very good!"

"Fish!"

"Amazing!" 

"Flower!"

"Excent."

"FART!" the entire class of 3 year olds was either laughing or gasping because this kid had just said a "curse word"

"Michael, that's not a nice word."

"Sorry..."

"Now. this is the letter G. like gate, and goat, and girl. Do you know any words that start with G?"

"Ghost!"

"Outstanding!"

"Grape!"

"Awesome!"

"Golf!"

"Wow! You guys are so smart."

"Gay!" Connor and I shot our heads up instantly. We saw the entire class looking at  Christine.

"What does that mean?" the other patents were starting to look what was happening.

"It uh it means happy." the teacher said nervously looking at the parents.

"No! It's when two people love each other very much and their daddies in training!"

"Christine, this is um an adult topic."

"Why?"

"Um I uh."

"They're gay and they aren't adults yet. Their only 17!" Christine was pointing at us and we were both tomato red. I felt the stares of the other parents burning into me.

"Being gay is weird." one kid in a white tank top said.

"I don't care if he's 3. I'll kill him!" Connor said under his breath. I rubbed his arm trying to calm him down so he doesn't hospitalize a toddler.

"It's not weird! You're weird!"

"Christine calm down!" the teacher took a deep breath. "Oh look it's snack time. Everyone go get your snacks." all the kids rand to their cubbies and got their snacks. The teacher came up to us and apologized to us while I was trying to apologize to her.

"I'm so sorry. I just don't want the kids to go home to their parents and be talking about a gay couple at dinner and for some parents to get worried. You never know people's beliefs and I don't want to lose any kids."

"That's totally understandable! I'm so sorry Christine brought it up! We should have told her not to talk about it."

"You seem like such nice people but I really have to go. I'm teaching reading to another class right now so I have to run. I'm so sorry again." she ran off and another older looking teacher came in the room.

"Finish up your snacks and come to the carpet!" all the kids dropped their lunchboxes and ran to the rug. "Welcome to math class! We will be counting! I will say a number and you will say what comes after!" all the kids nodded.

"Wow. up tight much?" I laughed at Connor while the teacher sent him death glares.

"Quite!" connor put his hands up defensively. "28!"

"29."  the entire class chorused.

"15!"

"16."

"30!"

"31."

"6!"

"7." Connor nudged my shoulder.

"Why did 6 wanna fuck 7?"

"Connor there are children present."

"Say why." I sighed knowing this was the only way to get him to shut up.

"Why?"

"Cuz 7 8 (ate)  ass!" I chuckled and told him to shut up while the teacher sent death glares at Connor again. 

"Could you please stop talking back there!? 78!"

"79."

Connor opened his mouth to say something but I covered it knowing it would not end well if he did speak up. But because Connor is Connor he licked my hand. I pulled away and wiped it on my shirt.

"Excuse me miss but it's really boring back here. I just wanna have a conversation with my lovely boyfriend while you teach these adorable children how to count." fern! Connor what are you doing?!

"If it's so boring then why don't you join the lesson hm?! You might learn something! Like keeping your mouth shut!"

"I'm afraid I already passed first grade. Your lesson is useless to me."

"Connor stop. I'm sorry he-"

"You may have passed first grade but you seem to have the maturity of a five year old."

"And you have the sense of humor of a rock." she turned bright red out of anger. She turned her back to him and faced the class again.

"69!"

"70." the entire class responded. Though Connor said something different...

"MOUTHWASH!" he shouted over everyone. The entire class looked at him confused while the parents (and me)  looked at him in shock. I grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the classroom while he tried to flip off the teacher but I slapped his hand down.

.....

Long story short we took Christine home early that day and I never let Connor near small children again.