behold! me trying to write angst in a good happy mood! there are a crap ton of references but there are two main ones, there's a svtfoe one and one (which the entire story is kinda based off of so I'm not gonna say what it is.) but the first one to get it gets a shout out in the next chapter. okay let the horribleness begin!

"DON'T GO DOWN STAIRS EVAN."

I ran down to the driveway anyway to see a uhaul truck sitting there. Wow! A real live truck in my driveway!

"Can I sit in the driver's seat!" I yelled at my dad begging to sit behind the wheel. He laughed and nodded sitting me down in the seat putting my hands on the wheel. I sat there for a minute before mom came down in tears. I read the situation as not being good and went upstairs to my room, I stood on my tiptoes and looked out the window to see mom and dad fighting again but this time instead of my mom storming off as usual my dad waved to me and got in the truck and drove away. I waved back as he pulled out. My mom stormed inside and locked herself in her room. It was 8:30 now and dad still wasn't home and I started to get worried. He was never gone this long, it's been at least 4 hours.

"M-mommy?" I heard a faint sob but she unlocked the door and stood there smiling. "When's daddy coming home?"

"He's- he's not coming home Evan. he left us."

"W-what do you mean."

"It's just you and me from now on Ev." she was crying but still smiling. I on the other hand was not smiling.

"There- there won't b-be another truck will there? You're not gonna abandon me a-are y-you?" she got down on her knees and hugged me close.

"There's not another truck in the driveway. Your mom isn't going anywhere. Your mom will stay right here. No matter what, I'll be here." I sobbed into her shoulder, and I cried the entire night. I didn't even say goodbye.

Fast Forward three and 11 year old me was recently diagnosed with severe social anxiety and was moving. My mom was sick of staying in that tiny old house. It reminded her too much of him. She said that this new house would be an upgrade of some kind, I don't know. She said some kid took his own life inside the house so there was some kind of stigma around it and it was dirt cheap and really nice. I packed my things and once again saw a uhaul truck in the driveway. I didn't ask to sit behind the wheel, I didn't wave to anyone through my window, no one was fighting, it was all quite.

Now my mom being my mom we were having some family friends meeting us at the new place once we were all settled in. I didn't have much to bring so that happened relatively quickly. So I ended up pacing in my room waiting for the kleinman's to come. I heard the doorbell ring and ran down stairs to see my mom leading the two adults in and Jared, who had glasses that were way too big for his face but his mom says he'll grow into them or something. He was carrying a black and yellow backpack and was smiling evilly.

"Why don't you two boys go upstairs and play while we talk." jared's dad said taking out a bottle of wine, I gulped and nodded, I was genuinely scared of what jared had planned. We both went to my room and sat down on my bed.

~Connor's pov last year right after he killed himself.~

"Uh where am I?" I was lying on the ground in a complete dark space.

"Welcome to hell! Need a hand?" there was a man in a bright red suit with spiky red hair and matching goatee standing above me.

"Uh sure... I guess."

"Step into my office." he helped me up and pushed me into a white office with a large filing cabinet, a small desk and a really old computer. He opened up the cabinet "let me just get your file... A ha here we go." he pulled out a white folder and took a seat in a swivel chair that randomly appeared under him. "Take a seat." I fell backwards into an identical swivel chair. "Now Connor Murphy, right?" I nodded even though he didn't look up from the folder. "do you have any idea why you're here?"

"Uh..."

"Cuz I don't. All I see here is that you did a lot of drugs, but everyone does that, you killed yourself and your gay, but heaven recently got rid of the qualification that you had to be straight to get in, so I could see you either staying here or going to heaven. Hmmmmm what to do what to do."

"You could send me to heaven. Me dieing didn't really affect anyone.and eternal damnation doesn't sound amazing."

"HA I like you, you're a smart ass. Also you're wrong about the whole nobody cared thing, there's this entire group of thousands of teenage girls that completely love you and-"

"What?"

"Ya know the musical. The one where you die and ruin the life of some socially awkward kid. You two are shipped together. Ever here of Mike Faist before?" I shook my head having no clue what he was talking about. "Whatever. All I know is people are going to be flipping out in th comments."

"What are you talking about?"

"Not important. Anyway what to do about your placement.... I know! I'll give you a demonary position and you could work! Aw that's perfect!"

"What exactly am I doing?"

"You will be assigned a human counterpart. It is your job to haunt, torment, pester, and be a general nuisance to this guy until he either kills himself or changes you in some drastic way." he handed me a folder sitting on his desk. In it there was a picture of a dirty blonde kid in a blue polo shirt with the name Evan Hansen under it. I guess this was the guy I needed to kill because to the left of his name it had a red stamp that said assigned to Connor Murphy.

"Okay?"

"Alright. TOM CAN YOU GIVE THIS GUY A RIDE TO THE OVER WORLD?!"

"FINE." a guy with 3 eyes and horns came out and snapped his fingers sending me back to my house. But it was different. There was a uhaul truck in the driveway. I walked through the closed door and saw 2 boys running upstairs, one looked exactly like the boy from the picture. Here goes nothing.

~Evan's pov~

"Is it true a guy killed himself here?!" Jared said bouncing like a five year old.

"Um uh yeah? I guess."

"That's so cool! Do you wanna try to talk to his ghost?!" he said opening the bag and pulling out an old dusty ouija board.

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not really."

"Then sure." we put our hand on the little plastic triangle.

"Is there a spirit here?" we both felt the triangle move across the board.

"Jared please tell me this is a joke!"

"Sorry wish I could! We both took our hands off or the triangle as it landed on the word NO. "What kind of answer is that?! That's stupid! Your stupid!" the triangle moved to the letter section of the board. "Evan get some paper!" I scrambled up to get the loose leaf in my drawer and wrote down what the ghost was spelling.

I D O N T G I V E A F U C K

Jared and I looked at each other then at the board.

"C-c-can you show yourself please?" a teen with long hair, almost to his shoulders, appeared behind Jared.

"If you insist." Jared spun around and screamed, which caused Evan to scream, which caused all the adults to run up stairs, which caused the ghost to vanish.

"Are you guys okay? We heard screaming." Jared's mother said coming in my room.

"T-t-there was a ghost! It tried to kill me!"

"Is this kid always this over dramatic?" I looked to my right to see the ghost reclining in my chair.

"He's right there!" I said pointing to the chair.

"Dude! Not cool!"

"Evan sweetie, there's no one there." he winked and pointed a finger gun at me.

"Why can't they see you?!"

"Cuz, life ain't fair kid."

"That's- that's not true."

"You're talking to yourself Hansen."

"How do you know my name!"

"I know lots a things." he shrugged and I huffed knowing this was a fight I couldn't win.

Five years have passed and the ghost and I have become friendly. I learned that his name was Connor and that he killed himself in his room (which is now my room) because his family hated him. I also found out that he was here to kill me but he waited five years so I don't think he's gonna pull a knife on me any time soon. I know he's gay and he know's I'm Bi, he was eighteen when he died and he had severe untreated bipolar disorder and depression. Other than that I don't know much, even though he follows me everywhere and haressas me. Occasionally I see him talking to nobody and when I ask him who it is he'll always say "my boss. He want's to know why you're still alive." when I ask him why he's put it off so long he always says "cuz I'm lazy." but I doubt that you would procrastinate for five years on doing something like murder. I do know one thing, I've kinds developed feelings for Connor. He was nice and I- I think I might have a crush on him. Even though Connor constantly told me to kill myself I still liked him. I could see his motives, and that had pretty much stopped last year when I fell out of a tree and broke my arm. You should have seen how connor reacted. He was so worried. I guess we kinda grew on each other.

~connor's pov~

"So how long has it been con?" my boss leaned against the door frame to the kitchen. "A day, a week, a month, a year, a decade?"

"Uhhhh"

"No really the concept of time is something you humans made up I really can't wrap my head around it. But seriously what's the hold up? I didn't think this would take longer than like a crappy one-shot written at 2am."

"What?"

"Never mind"

"It's just hard ya know? He's just- UH"

"So you're stalling cuz you like the guy."

"Well kinda a little. He's just... cute?"

"Like puppies with no eyes that eat human flesh cute or like i wanna fuck you till you die crying in my arms cute?"

"NEITHER!"

"Geeze. Alright. Just tell me, do you love the guy?"

"Yes."

"Then say it."

"I think I love Evan Hansen!"

"Uh connor." Evan was standing in the doorway with his mouth open.

"I'll let you handle this." my boss left leaving me with a evan that looked like he was gonna faint.

"I can explain!" but before I could he ran towards me and tried to kiss me. Note he TRIED, as his face went right through my head, we both laughed it off awkwardly.

~ one year of dating a ghost later~

"Con?" he was floating next to me on my bed as I was nervously fidgeting with my shirt.

"Yes babe?"

"I-I kinda wanna k-kill myself."

"WHAT EVAN NO!" I laughed a little.

"So I could become a ghost like you, that way it's less awkward and stuff."

"Evan listen to me it's not a good idea. What about your mom?"

"One less mouth to feed. Besides it will giver her time to find a boyfriend or something. Also I don't just want to spend a lifetime with you connor, I want to spend an eternity with you."

"No. Evan don't you want to grow old with someone? Don't you wanna have kids? Get married? Go to college? Don't you wanna live Evan?!"

"NOT WITHOUT YOU!" there was a silence. "I can't do those things with you Connor. What's the point of living if you're doing it alone!"

"Evan. you're not allowed to kill yourself. I want you to do what I couldn't." he wrapped his arms around me but I didn't flinch.

"I can't feel your arms around me, I can't feel it when you kiss me, if someone saw you who knows what would happen, no one else can hear or see you and everyone thinks I'm crazy when I just talk to the person I love ,and frankly I can't even tell if your real anymore. And if you're not real then I don't wanna be alive at any rate."

"Don't say that Evan!"

"IT'S TRUE THOUGH!" I stood up and I was shaking, I went to the bathroom as Connor floated behind me begging me to stop. I didn't listen. I took out a razor and pressed the blades hard against my right arm. Connor was a sobbing mess doing everything in his power to get me to stop. I made an identical cut in my left arm.

"Sorry con, it's the best way."

At that moment Connor did something I didn't even know was possible. He pushed my soul out of my body and took control. He possessed me!

"Sorry Evan, it's for your own good." he said scrambling for bandages. He wrapped my arms and called 911 while I sat there powerless. All I could do was beg for my body back, but he wouldn't give, he didn't trust me. "I want you to live Evan! To really live! With or without me! I'm not going to hold you back. I want you to go to some collage and mary a lawyer. I want you to have kids and grand kids. I want you to fall in love, to travel the world, look at a crap ton of trees. You can't do that as a ghost. Live while you're alive Evan. please, for me Evan." we heard sirens outside, he walked to the door and got in the ambulance while I followed close behind. "Promise me Ev." I nodded teary eyed. "SAY YOU PROMISE!" he was crying again. "PROMISE YOU WON'T DO THIS TO ME AGAIN!" one of the nurses was holding back Connor/me telling him to calm down.

"I promise, Connor." great now we were both sobbing hysterically. His soul left my body and I forced mine back in, when I opened my eyes I saw connor. He was smiled at me all the way to the hospital.