Today Is The Greatest Day I've Ever Known. Can't Live For Tomorrow, Tomorrow's Much Too Long. I'll Burn My Eyes Out Before I Get Out

Even from the moment I first left my house, I kind of just felt as if something was wrong. Today just felt like the worst of worst days, even from the moment it was initiated. And believe me, I knew what I was talking about - I had a lot of bad days. This one was different and somehow worse in a way that before now I wasn't sure if I even deemed possible.

Today didn't feel ominous in the kind of way my date would, it just felt like there was the inevitability of the whole world fucking up hanging in the balance, and as much as I tried, I just couldn't put that feeling to rest.

And in the school hallways the sound of high heels clicking behind me did nothing but make my spin feel as if it would snap within moments. I stopped at my locker, and then the high heels stopped, leaving me to believe that for a moment, it was nothing more than my dumb and over excited imagination.

But things weren't like that at all.

"Kellin fucking Quinn, huh?" Her voice hit my ears like a cat screech, and I knew instantly as to who she was. I glanced around and scanned over her hair extensions and fake nails - I'd bet that this was Vic's ex-girlfriend. His horrible taste in woman was sickeningly predictable enough to lead me to just know as to whom he could possibly consider dating material.

"That's me." I probably should have claimed that I'd never met myself in my life and took off whilst I still had functioning limbs, but I was stupid bitch and my insides were stinging with emptiness to make me eager to feel anything at all, no matter how much it hurt.

"So you're that fag Vic's obsessed with." Obsessed? That wasn't something I would have reckoned upon. I mean he does seem to over worry, but obsessed was a kind of scary concept and one that was nothing more than a figment of this psycho bitch's imagination.

"I assume so." I shrugged her words off as they meant nothing to me, but in reality the truth differed greatly and far too much more than I'd like to admit.

"Mmm... tell him he should really get a better looking fag next time, especially if he's going to dump someone like me for them."

"What do you mean-"

She just cackled at that, sounding rather like some kind of fucked up witch creature, "work it out, fag." I shivered with her second use of the insult - it kind of hit home considering the whole ordeal that was kind of spinning the entirety of my sanity out of control.

"Stop calling me that - I'm not gay." Okay, it was a lie, but whatever. Lying seemed to be almost necessary these days. I'd be going to hell regardless - it didn't matter at all.

"Shame."

"What?"

"Are you deaf? I said it's a shame that you can't accept what a filthy little fag you are!" She raised her voice, capturing the attention of a few people nearby.

"Are you really this bitter just over the fact your week long relationship didn't work out?" This girl was quite possibly even more pathetic than Jenny, and I didn't even think that was possible. "How is it even my fault?"

"Well, it's not like it's mine is it, fag?" Some people really need a damn intelligence boost these days, fucking hell.

"Well, considering that you were actually involved in said relationship, there's a higher chance-"

"Shut the fuck up, fag." And here it was again, yet someone stinging harder than the first two times.

"I'm not a fag." I protested, despite the fact that I knew she wouldn't care.

"Now that's funny - tell me another one, Quinn."

"What?"

"You're fucking pathetic, you hear me?"

"Unfortunately." I mumbled under my breath, before disappearing amidst the crowd and getting dragged away amongst the sea of students.

-

"Vic Fuentes has a terrible taste in woman."

"You're only saying that because he's practically the only half decent guy who hasn't let you fuck him yet."

Maia shrugged, perched upon on the bathroom sinks as I was practically pacing up down. I was stressing over Vic Fuentes to the point of insanity, but the whole ordeal was most definitely preferable to algebra, which we had again decided to skip. We were going to get caught at this rate, but Vic Fuentes would get me out of any trouble that should arise with a simple snap of his fingers.

"Ahem, you can agree that she was a bitch." Maia crossed her legs over, his eyes darting around the bathroom as her mind remained deep in thought. "Do you think she's worse than Jenny?"

"I can't tell. I've only had one not very enjoyable conversation with her and she already seems horrible, but Jenny is the queen of bitches." Of course the subject of Vic's ex-girlfriend's would be what we'd end up discussing within our skipped period of algebra.

Being the pathetically lovesick puppy I am, there was really little else to discuss. The other prominent thoughts in my head were the type that definitely didn't require vocalising.

"Mmm... agreed." Maia exhaled loudly. "Describe her again for me."

"Uhh... dyed dark brown past shoulder length hair with blonde roots kind of obnoxiously showing through... uhh I couldn't quite catch her eye colour, but something dark like a dull brown or something. Carrying some sort of handbag thing that can hold like one school book in-" My words were interrupted by Maia's chuckles.

"I don't get the point in those fucking bags - you can't carry shit in them. Are they hiding the rest of their shit in their bras or something?" I grinned, shrugging, as I really didn't know shit about girls and their fashion habits.

"I hope not because when some guy takes off their bra he's going to be fucking scarred for life when he gets attacked in the face by a mascara wand, a make-up brush, and a tampon." Maia continued and I winced a little; tampons crept me out. I was just glad I didn't have a vagina and couldn't get a period.

"She seemed to use the word fag a lot if that helps, also she was pretty pissed off at me like she was generally like that I don't know-"

"Over clumped spider lashes?" Maia leaned forward suddenly, the words tumbling from her lips all at once. The idea of hunting down the identity of Vic's ex-girlfriend who was a bitch to me seemed to excite Maia far too much.

"Yeah, I guess." I shrugged as I'd not paid a great deal of attention towards her eyelashes, but girls like that tended to come with spider lashes like they were a part of their uniform.

"Ah, got her. Alicia McKent." Maia grinned, continuing as her grin only spread across her face, "sixteen - massive slut, always seems like she's on her period, probably carries a tampon in bra as well." I would have preferred it if we didn't spend too long discussing tampons. At least I would imagine Vic Fuentes would have tampons as his main topic of conversation.

"So Vic actually dated her... wow. I guess he has a type, even if it's a little fucked up." I mumbled, widening my eyes I took all the information in. The idea of Vic dating anyone besides me was sickening, but the idea of Vic actually dating me made my insides churn even more. It was one of those things you desperately wanted yet could never actually imagine happening.

"Nah, Kells. I just think he hasn't quite realised who he's into and by that I mean... you." I had to blush at that, even if I doubted all truth in the matter.

"Shut up." My speech was muffled as I covered my face in my hands. Embarrassment wasn't the best on me.

"So do you think Alicia is out to get you?" She asked, pulling the idea into reality as if it was nothing more than asking me to pass her the salt, but it wasn't; it was an idea that made my stomach do somersaults and my insides quake and fizzle.

"Seems that way, I don't know." I shrugged, trying to make this sound as if it meant just as little to me as it did to Maia. I suppose Maia could pass it off because really it was none of her business, she was just an unlikely spectator and somehow friendly acquaintance towards the whole ordeal.

"Vic can probably just get her expelled if you ask." Maia grinned, winking at me. I wouldn't do that, because I know he would do it for me and I just didn't want to compromise him in anyway. He did far too much for me already and it wouldn't be long until someone figured this out.

"Isn't that just a minor abuse of power, just a little?" I argued my point, but Maia was totally indifferent towards it; Maia had this sort of disregard to anything even vaguely authoritian.

"Yeah, but it's for you - if it's relating to you everything else is suddenly irrelevant to Vic, trust me. He's backed off from me as soon as you put it across; he gets you out of every class and detention you ask him to. It's clear he's fucking in love with you, Kellin!" She exclaimed, her tone suggesting nothing short of downright frustration towards me.

"He probably just feels sorry for me, because I'm pathetic and all that shit, Maia." I admitted, letting my cheeks flush a terrible shade of pink once again.

"Nah, feeling sorry is apology and possibly a hug, not I will devote and sacrifice the entirety of my status and generally abuse my power to make everything easier for you. That's called love, Kellin."

"He's straight come on - he dates girls." I protested, her words almost making me feel awkward within the fact that I was still breathing- well, if I didn't feel uncomfortable enough in that fact already.

"It doesn't really go very well though, does it?" She had a point, but it was only a point my biased self could pick up upon.

"Hmm..." I shrugged, wondering if bias should make me ignore a point, or would that lead to simply more bias? "Not all relationships last years, and anyways these girls aren't the good kind. Once he starts dating someone decent, then they'll last."

"What, someone like you?" She winked at me and I just sighed, wishing that things wouldn't be like that. That Vic Fuentes wouldn't find out how I feel about him before it was too late, but that's the way these things have to be... I guess. It'd get awfully messy otherwise.

"I can hope, I guess. I can hope."

"It'll go fine as soon as one of you suddenly decides to finally admit it to the other." Maia's words with filled with sincerity, but the sincerity was nothing but falseness, because despite how much she'd like to, she just didn't quite get it.

"I'm not going to risk fucking things up by marching up to Vic Fuentes and being like 'hey, I'm in love with you' - it wouldn't go well, you know that." I met her eyes with an equally stern gaze, my organs colliding like Newton's cradle as I barely managed to stomach the possibility.

"He'd be shocked, okay, but I guarantee if you give him a few minutes to process that shit because guys are stupid like that, he'll kiss you immediately." I wasn't quite so sure about that, and then again, there was also the part of me that wasn't even sure if I wanted Vic to kiss me.

"Nah, nah he won't." I think my words were so stern maybe just for my own sanity's sake, because otherwise, I was more than sure my head would simply roll right off my shoulders with the sheer weight of the world.

"Vic Fuentes is stupid then."

"Mmm... yeah, he is sometimes." I agreed.

"Or maybe ignorant's the right word - I'd chose ignorant to be honest, or naive... what do you think?"

"I don't know, he's just stupidly confusing." I shrugged and she just grinned at me.

"Oh, really-" Her words were cut off by the sound of the door clicking open.

Our eyes met in a state of paralysed shock, because it really wasn't often that anyone actually went in here and my immediate thought was that we'd been too loud and some passing teacher had found us, but of course we were just paralysed by fear and couldn't even hide at all.

So for once, I had nothing but to be thankful when Vic Fuentes walked in.

"You're missing algebra." He didn't even ask any questions, such as to why the hell Maia was in the guy's toilets or why we had be previously talking about him, which I could only just pray that he hadn't heard any of that.

"Mmm..." Maia nodded, picking at her nails. "That's kind of the point."

Vic just raised his eyebrows and shut the bathroom door behind himself, walking over to the sinks where Maia and I were currently gathered.

"Hey Kellin." He smiled at me, leaning against the wall a few metres away from the two of us.

"Heyy..." I mumbled back, Maia giggling like a little bitch as I failed to hide a blush, but thankfully I didn't think Vic noticed.

"Are you planning on skipping every algebra lesson this term because it's getting increasingly harder to cover up, you know?" My eyes widened as I came to realise that Vic Fuentes was probably constantly smoothing out any and all inconsistencies or discrepancies in my school record and I hadn't even asked him to.

"Yup." Maia smirked.

"I'll stop covering for you, Maia." At least he'd gotten her name right this time.

"I'll stop not confronting you about your terrible taste in women. If your ex-girlfriends can even be described as women and not whores that is." I glanced to the floor, not quite wanting Vic to see the smirk that was spreading right across my face.

"Says you?" Oh shit.

"Ahem, at least I don't fucking harass Kellin."

"What?" His jaw dropped as I pealed my gaze up. "Kellin?" He met my gaze and I let out a nervous nod.

"What happened?"

"Your latest - Alicia." Maia answered.

"She uhh... came up to me and started calling me a fag and uh... blamed me for why you broke up..." I continued, my voice barely a mumble, but I knew Vic understood regardless.

"Kellin, oh my god." He pulled me into a hug. "None of that's true - she's a bitch."

"Oh so now you finally get it?" Maia raised her eyebrows.

"I thought she was alright, but apparently not, I just. Women are confusing." Vic sighed into my side, as I pulled away, reluctantly albeit, but we couldn't just lie in one another's arms forever, Maia would starting taking pictures soon enough.

"Maybe you should try men." My eyes widened and I had to blink as I swear I caught Vic blushing a little.

"Maia!" I exclaimed.

"Just a suggestion." She shrugged it off, giggling.

"Yeah, suggestions aren't your strong point."

"You think?"

"I know." I persisted, but for some reason, Vic remained silent since the topic of men was brought up. It was just a little odd, I think.

The bell rung throughout the halls, the sound reverberating onto the walls. "You should probably go to your next classes, you know."

"Nah." Maia shrugged it off, but Vic met her with a stern gaze. "Fine."

I grabbed my bag off the side, but of course it had to slip from my grasp, leaving my shit to fall all over the floor.

"Vic-" I protested as he gathered all my stuff up.

"No, it's fine." He said with what seemed like an awkwardly forced smile as he handed my bag back to me. "It's my pleasure."

"You sound so cheesy."

"Shut up." I swear he blushed.

"Whatever."

"Just get to class, Kellin."

-

-TRIGGER WARNING-

It hurts because now, because now I'm not one hundred percent sure if I actually want to live. Vic and Maia give me hope and I hate it. I hate, hate, hate it.

My friends know what's right and what's red though - I can trust them, that's for sure.

I can't work on my notes tonight - my head's far too full of nothingness, so I just create more red. I paint a red sunset scene up my arm, the metal dancing across my skin reflecting in the window to create beams of metaphorical sunlight.

I don't create that much red tonight, because soon enough I'll be gone, tucked away in a world where the red is supplied and I most certainly won't needed to be skilled in the art of creating my own.

Vic is just making my head spin like crazy, and I think maybe I might just be beginning to have second thoughts about leaving. But I couldn't, not now - I was already in far too deep - my fate was already sealed and it most certainly wasn't to be changed or questioned, especially not by someone like Vic Fuentes.

Maybe I should write some more tonight. I think maybe I'd speak of the red and just what it means to me, because no one can understand that, no matter how much they say they can, it's just different for me. It's a drug, one pre-injected within my veins. I drug I was born with and an addiction I grew up with.

I rummaged through my bag for the letters - I'd taken them to school to work on, because I'm just getting sad enough to think about my own suicide throughout every waking moment of the day.

They weren't there.

I checked again.

They had to be there.

No, this was all a trick.

I'd missed them, misplaced them, maybe.

But I hadn't - they were in my bag today, but now... now they're not.

Someone must have taken them, but no one's been in my bag except myself- it fell on the floor.

Vic Fuentes must have found them as he put my stuff back in my bag, and oh my god, no.

I have to get them back.

No, he would have questioned me about them at that moment; they'd probably just fallen under something in that bathroom.

Regardless as to their exact location, I needed to get back to school and get them back.

And I just had to pray that Vic Fuentes hadn't read his letter and that first line in particular.

Hey guys:) Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and if you did well, as you know, comments and votes are always appreciated;) hehe;) Love you all guys<3