just b geonwoo (geonu) and chu jimin (jm)

unlucky

chu jimin really believed the goddess of love was on his side

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   The stands heaved and churned with excitement, their frantic and spirited screams erupting from pockets of students like bursts of confetti from the guns behind them. The stadium lights shone down on the field so brightly that sweat collected on each person's forehead, yet no one cared; the rush of adrenaline, the spike of anticipation, and the roar of the crowd drowned the thought out. Scents wafted through the air with a mission to guide students towards its origin of buttery popcorn, savory hotdogs with tangy mustard, soggy nachos piled high with gooey cheese and fiery jalapeños, and sugary cotton candy that gave the teens a toothache by a mere glance.

   Chu Jimin loved football games; the rush of all emotions, the flash of all the colors, and above all, the acute sense of awareness that seized him this very moment and the moments that'll linger in the future. The tips of his toes all the way to the stiffly styled curls in his hair felt alive with anticipation, with a sense of euphoria, and with a feeling of such intense joy that he just couldn't keep still - hence the numerous tumbles and cartwheels he did along the edge of the football field.

   Jimin felt like a high school football game was a prime example of high school culture: the sweaty and emboldened football players wrestling for the ball, the crowd of teens - adorned with painted faces and elaborately decorated overalls and flags the size of two tables combined swaying back and forth, to and fro, with and against the cheers or the bleachers. The parents bonded with other parents, flaunted their kids to others, all while the kids ran around the bottom of the stairs and bought too much food. The flag runners in their military uniforms prepared to sprint at a moment's notice, weaving between the cheerleaders urging the crowds to yell louder, show their spirit, it's Homecoming after all.

   Jimin's senses were overwhelmed in the best way possible; his best friend caught Jimin as he fell into his arms, the rush of twirling mid-air still sizzling across his chest, while he watched their team score another touchdown aided by the boy he adored since freshman year.

   Chu Jimin entered high school with too much confidence - at least that's what he rememberedGeonwoo telling him when he waltzed into the dance studio practically commanding the coach to appoint him captain of the cheer team through the clicking of his boots and the determined blaze in his eyes. And the title was bestowed two years later, during his junior year: he made captain of the cheer team the same time Geonwoo made star quarterback. It was if fate has aligned their success, some angel from above shifted the cosmos just for Chu Jimin, and he would consider them his guardian angel since this hasn't happened just once.

   Oh no, the heavens were on Jimin's side, the Goddess of Love, his supportive and right-hand woman.

   It happened firstly with Jimin's name on the cheer team roster, then Geonwoo's position on the freshman football team. Then a slew of perfect grades, first-ever football games and theatre performances and art showcases and state tournaments that by Jimin and Geonwoo's junior years, both were in the higher ranks of their respective sports and Jimin's little spark of adoration became a wildfire of compassion and appreciation and idolization - omitting the obsession that came with idolizing someone. Jimin was so close to considering his feelings for Geonwoo love, but he needed that last push, that final act of reassurance and acceptance.

   And Chu Jimin, during Geonwoo's last homecoming football game, was going to tell the older all that he has felt over the last two years. The idea ignited an explosion of anxiety, yet the cheerleader welcomed it, for it fueled his trail of aerials.

   As Jimin planted his feat against the warm concrete, he flicked his eyes up to the scoreboard. It was currently 6 to 13, the home team in the lead. A flurry of excitement buzzed around in his chest and collided with his heart the boy watched Geonwoo trudge off the field and flop onto a metal bench. As the athletic trainers flocked the older like moths to a light, Geonwoo craned over his shoulder and locked eyes with Jimin; the younger beamed and waved eagerly, like a child excited to eat sweets. The sweaty football player quirked a smile, a dazzling one that sent Jimin spiraling down and down and down until he landed atop the soft, pink clouds of affection.

   Given all that Geonwoo did for Chu Jimin, you really couldn't blame the younger for falling as hard and as fast as he did. Geonwoo defended Jimin against nasty people calling him even nastier names - Jimin was more than capable of standing up for himself, he didn't need the older to cause a scene each time someone grumbled a name beneath their breath, but Jimin liked the idea that Geonwoo cared for the younger so much that he couldn't bear seeing people talk badly about him. He found it endearing, and during times it felt more like a stunt that an act of protection, Geonwoo listened and absorbed and acted. He made Jimin feel noticed in a world that wanted him gone, made him feel appreciated when people told him he was nothing, made him feel as though who he is is something never to suppress, to hide, for it should bloom into a flower so beautiful people would stop and stare.

   It was as if Jimin was a half-finished puzzle, and Geonwoo was the person fitting the last pieces in place, each with a lingering touch and a smile that could melt clouds.

   Geonwoo built Jimin's confidence back up after the cheer team's first football appearance, Jimin patched Geonwoo's bloodied knees and bruised shoulders after extra-long practices, the two boys would relish each other's company the days they had their study hall period, and curse the bell when it rang, signaling the end of their class, their moment, their time.

   Just like how the buzzer for half-time ended something Jimin thought the both of them shared, something he was so certain Geonwoo returned.

   The buzzer seemed to slice air in half, cut Chu Jimin from his electric daze and propel him towards the bleachers where he snatched up a glittery sign from the web of steel. He jogged towards the middle of the track, halfway in his pursuit of a certain football player, when the world stopped spinning, the sounds of the crowd drowned to a soft murmur and his heart plummeted to his feet.

   Geonwoo was twirling another cheerleader in his arms, his face a strawberry pink, and hers a shade darker, almost like the color the older told him to dye his hair the summer of sophomore year. Their noses brushed together and they giggled bashfully. Jimin nearly whimpered when their lips connected, a passionate embrace. Geonwoo looked like true happiness turned human.

   And that broke Jimin from the inside out.

   Suddenly, Chu Jimin was consumed by a fiery rage, a plume of anger charged with hurt and betrayal and ignorance. How could he have been so blind? He, not for one moment, ever took a step back, took off the rose-colored glasses and looked around at the world for what it truly was: a deceitful, tortuous place that played with emotions and crushed people under its feet.

   Yet, how could Geonwoo let Jimin live on in his bliss? Couldn't he have hinted at finding that girl attractive, made a blatantly obvious comment that could have doused the flames of Jimin's adoration? He felt taken advantage of. Manipulated. Used. Chu Jimin was told to stand up for himself, to make sure no one got the better of him and made him feel anything less than worthy.

   Well, Geonwoo was a wicked hypocrite to fill Jimin with lies. What were their monthly dates - and Geonwoo was the one who coined the name of their outings? What were their routine phone calls that lasted hours on end, with neither one wanting to hang up until they eventually fell asleep on the line? What was their week at Jimin's lake house? The night in which Geonwoo confessed he never cared for someone as much as he did Chu Jimin? Was all of that a lie, a big, sick joke?

   Jimin had enough of it. He wanted to leave; suddenly, everything was way too loud.

   The cheerleading captain threw the sign to the ground and stalked away, pairs of eyes trailing him with apprehension. He didn't realize he had broken into a run until his best friend Byeonghee caught up to him and gripped his shoulder.

   "Where are you going? We have to perform in five minutes!"

   "You knew, didn't you?!"

   Jimin's voice broke as he shouted. He then felt tears streaming fiery trails down his cheeks.

   "Knew what?" Byeonghee looked confused, underscored with fright.

   "Don't act oblivious. You saw what happened, when the buzzer went off. Who he ran to." Jimin smeared his palms across his eyes, dragging with them tears and shimmery makeup. "You knew all along, didn't you? That's why you were trying to convince me to not bring my sign onto the field. You knew I was going to get hurt!"

   "ChuJi, I couldn't bring myself to tell you." Byeonghee sounded desperate.

   "Well you should have. Could have saved me from a landslide of pain." He raked a hand through his hair, finding it to be bent out of shape. Just his luck. "Go on without me. The performance will be better that way. Besides, you were probably just using me to gain attention, the freak everyone would yell names at."

   Before Byeonghee could open his mouth, Jimin was already through the gates circling the field. He ran for what felt like miles until he crashed onto his car and crumped onto the hood, weeping. Sobbing, not for himself but for the goddess that watched over him.

   He was sorry the Goddess of Love had to bear witness to this night; he was sorry she was dealt his cards; he was sorry she played them with such impeccable skill, only for him to trip and ruin the castle she crafted. The cards fell around him just like the pieces of his puzzle, the once completed and dazzling art piece a painting half-empty, a sculpture left abandoned in a dusty room, a puzzle missing its most important piece.

   Chu Jimin was the unlucky draw, the joker in a deck of slick playing cards, the hole in one's favorite stuffed animal, the bleach stain on his gifted bomber jacket. He was everything that was once beautiful, majestic, and grand turned ugly, tattered and destroyed.

   Chu Jimin was a star that winked out, not because of time, but because his star grew too bright, and he got lost in its shine.

   Fuck, the Goddess of Love should really pity Chu Jimin now.

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back in my angst era 😝😝

this short was way too fun to write--

its not super long and as fleshed out as i wanted to make it, but i liked how short the scenes were and how quickly thoughts and emotions changed

till next time <33