"Why do you sound like 'soul'? What kind of soul is it that you have? What holds me back by your side like this?"

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Rein rolled her eyes as her mother shrieked through the phone, threatening to shatter her eardrums.

"YOU SIGNED ANOTHER CONTRACT?!"

She sighed. What else did she expect, really? A rational discussion with her mother? Maybe a few I understand's and an I love you for the cherry on top? Because the last time she tried that, it didn't turn out well. She held on to the hope that it would be different this time, but her subconscious knew it would turn out for the worst.

"This is a huge opportunity for me! It's only a few more months, Mom," Rein said, trying to coax her mother back into territory she could handle, but she wouldn't go so easily.

"I don't even know what to say to you anymore, Rein. I thought we were done with this whole thing after our last conversation," her mother spat. Rein ignored the use of her name and continued.

"Oh, you thought my career was done after our last conversation? Yeah, well, sorry for the rude awakening."

Her mother never understood the importance of her career, what she had to sacrifice. Of course, her mother was supportive enough, but the enthusiasm started to wane once she realized it wouldn't stop after a couple of shows and an album. Her mother thought it was just a temporary thing, like a hobby she would quit after a few weeks.

That was something Rein had always resented.

"You realize you're in the wrong this time, don't you?" her mother asked.

No, she didn't. Some things were necessary, and keeping Namjoon was necessary.

Kind of.

Okay, maybe she was a tiny bit in the wrong, but what was she supposed to do? Never see him again after she fucking kissed him? After she maybe let her crush slide for a little too long unchecked? It was always her, alone, in a studio box or her house. Why couldn't she have this one thing, just for herself?

Why couldn't she be the grown, independent woman her mother claimed she wanted her to be?

"I didn't stay for me. I stayed because I had... something to do." A beat.

"It's one of the boys, isn't it?" Rein felt her face heat up as she tried to deny it.

"Uh, no, of course not..."

"I'm not stupid, Rein. I have the internet. BTS is very popular nowadays, you know that?" Rein resisted the urge to laugh.

"Oh, yeah, for sure," she said.

"I heard you get along well with one of them... Nam-John, was it? I didn't pin you to be so stupid as to do anything for a little crush, but I guess I was mistaken." The words hit her like a semi-truck. Stupid? Is that what she was?

"Why can't you just be happy for me, Mom?" Rein whispered, feeling the tears well up. "That's all I ever asked for."

"Because you're being a selfish child about this," her mother replied, her words cutting into her flesh like knives.

"Have you ever considered if you're the one being selfish? When am I ever going to get a chance like this again?" In the grand scheme of things, BTS was only the beginning of it, but her words had a double meaning.

When was she ever going to get a chance to be with Namjoon again?

"We always end conversations like this. If you weren't so stubborn and listened to me for one goddamn second, then maybe we'd have more pleasant phone calls."

"Oh yeah? And what exactly should I shut up and listen to you about? How stupid and selfish I'm being? I'd rather not."

"You promised you'd be back by now! I'm not going to sit on the sidelines and be your cheerleader every time you make a decision I'm not happy about, and I think you should get that through your head."

"I'm not asking you to be my cheerleader. I'd be worried if you were super excited about me staying here for this long. I'm just asking you to be respectful of my business decisions," Rein said. "And like I said, it's not like I'm staying here forever."

"Rein... Isn't it time to take a break from all of this?" her mother asked. If she didn't know any better, she would have sworn she heard a dash of motherly concern in her voice. Though, it would have been misplaced motherly concern.

"Um, what do you mean? Are you talking about my actual career right now?" she retorted.

"Isn't it time to stop playing around? I've entertained your delusions for long enough now, I think," her mother continued, a razor-sharp edge in her voice.

"What are you talking about...?"

"This whole singing thing. You don't really think this is a real job, do you?" her mother asked. The mockery in her tone was obvious.

"You think... What I've worked so hard for this whole time... Isn't real? Are you fucking kidding me right now, Mom?" Rein asked.

"Don't swear at me, young lady. What I meant was, it's not sustainable, and I'm not telling you this to hurt you. I'm just trying to tell it like it is. Once the fame is gone, you won't have a college education to fall back on. You won't have funds. The well dries up sooner or later."

"You know the same people who make those excuses are actually terrible people on the inside? They hide behind 'telling it like it is', but really, they just wanna be assholes and get away with it," she snapped.

There was a minute where neither one said anything. It gave Rein the perfect opportunity to come up with every response imaginable for anything her mother said. But she didn't expect what she said next.

Finally, her mother replied, her voice devoid of emotion, "Don't expect a welcome back party when you come back, or anything, for that matter. I hope you have a great life with that Nam-John boy." Rein swallowed the lump in her throat. Something told her this would be the last time she would speak to her mother for a long time.

"Mom, you're just making everything worse. We can still fix this," she said, but she knew the effort was futile.

"ME? I'm making the situation worse? Okay. Then let me diffuse the situation by leaving you alone."

"Wait-" Click.

Rein was too shocked to even lower the phone from her ear for a few seconds. After the initial confusion wore off, she looked out the window to look at the soft snow falling onto the world below. There would only be another two months to see something as wondrous as this, so she cherished every moment of it.

Anywhere she went, nature seemed to be her only comfort. It was dependable. It gave her peace of mind. And as she studied the snowfall, one thing became clear:

She couldn't afford any distractions.

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A/N: IMPORTANT: I want to clear something up just in case it comes up in chapters after this. Rein has tried to quit drinking after a lot of thinking because of the way it affects her. In the background, Namjoon talks to her about her problem and she slowly realizes that she doesn't need it to fill the void in her life.

So if there are mentions of her trying to quit drinking and stuff like that, don't be surprised! I wrote a whole interview scene where this info is stated and ended up not putting it in because it was only to reveal that she did that, and frankly, it was a little boring.

QOTD: Where are all of my readers from?

I know where a lot of you guys are from, but some I'm not as well acquainted with! I'm from the good ol' US of A. Comment your answer here!

Until next time, happy reading!

-Haneul xoxo