"It's okay to just live because we're still young. Who do you think you are to say otherwise? Stop comparing, I'm only human."

0:00 |───────── 3:23

|◁ II ▷|

Rein had the sudden realization that she was squandering her life away.

She had spent a solid week cooped up in her room, writing some lyrics here and there, listening to things she had worked on in the studio before arriving in Seoul. 

Every day felt the same, time refusing to budge in her little puke-green hotel room. Day in and day out, she was in bed, wallowing in her own filth. (not literally, of course. Filth pertaining to her motivation, energy, and hygiene she was sorely lacking at the time.)

Mostly though, she was going through another bout of depression, one that struck her every time she was about to make an album or when she released one. The certain feeling of doom that crept up on her every time was unmistakable. Sometimes she forgot about it, but it was always there, ready to knock her down just as tranquility made itself at home. 

Rein vaguely remembered a time when she was the complete opposite of the ball of anxiety she was now, when the first word that came to people's minds when they thought of her was "chill". It felt like so long ago, when she was just starting out, naive, not having worked on her music career for years by then. She knew at the time that it was pointless to let weights hold her spirit down when there was just so much to do in the world. 

But as her life became more guarded, she too became more guarded. Cautious. Though she still had a real passion for music as she hadn't burnt out (yet), she forced herself to harden her heart and focus on one thing which she promised she would stick to for the duration of the process; make the album, meet her fans, and get her fucking money.

BRRRRRING. BRRRRRING.

Her manager's sudden ringtone was harsh, like pots clanging inches from her ears. She stirred from her bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Oh my fuck..." It was 6:14 AM. She groaned and mentally braced herself before answering the phone.

"Yes?" she mumbled.

"Did you just wake up? Ms. Jones, as a profe-"

"Any news on the contract?" Rein countered. There was a pause on the other end. She waited with bated breath for the response. It seemed like an eternity before the woman said anything.

"I'll be at your hotel room in five minutes. The security guards will let me in, so don't be doing anything you would not want me to see." Rein could practically hear the smile in her voice.

What would I be doing exactly? 

"I got it, didn't I?" she whispered. Ms. Cho chuckled.

"I'll be there shortly." Click. She hung up, and Rein was left alone for a few minutes.

She was happy, if that was even in question. Elated, even; this would change her life for the better. But the knot in her stomach grew bigger the more she thought about meeting the people she would be working with. 

Sensations. Stars. The biggest names in Korea. Hell, the whole world, even. Sure, she didn't know all of their names, and probably couldn't tell a few of their faces apart even on a good day, but they were famous, nonetheless.

Her fingers twitched; she wanted a drink. Real bad.

Rein wanted to give in to that urge now, but before she could call for some room service, the door to her room opened, shedding light into the darkness. She squinted and shielded her eyes.

And God said, "Let there be light."

"Please... Close..." Ms. Cho shut the door behind her and looked at the young woman on the bed, eyebrows furrowed.

"You got the job, Ms. Jones." She dropped the hand she was holding up and looked at Ms. Cho wordlessly. But you don't look like an A-list pop star, her manager was probably thinking, and she couldn't blame her in the slightest.

"You will be seeing them in two days, so we get you cleaned up before then." 

She scrunched up her nose as she took a closer look at Rein. In her disheveled bun, sweatpants and tank top, she looked like a street rat. None of the glow from the club remained on her body. 

"So... dirty..." she muttered. Rein rolled her eyes and covered herself with the blanket.

"I'll take a shower later. Is there more news, or are you going to insult my hygiene some more?" Ms. Cho came over and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, the harsh undertones in her voice gone and instead replaced with genuine tenderness. Rein opened her mouth, then closed it again. It's like she knew.

"I'm feeling..." She searched for the right words, "Apprehensive." Ms. Cho nodded.

"I understand what you going through." Rein turned her head away.

You don't.

"I... I actually don't know if I can do this." The words were out. She regretted the thought of saying them before she even opened her mouth.

"Yes, you can. And you will." She shook her head. Her pride was shattered, and intimidation had taken its place. She felt like a child.

"What if I don't get along with them?"

"You likable enough. You will only be working with them for... A couple of months at most, anyway-" Rein's eyes widened.

"A couple of months at MOST?" She held her head in her hands and swallowed hard. Ms. Cho sighed and placed a hand on top of Rein's head after a moment's hesitation. ("So... dirty...")

"You deserve what you are getting. Think about the fans... your fans..." Ms. Cho trailed off, her lips set in a hard line. For the record, she truly didn't like using Rein's fanbase as a manipulation tactic like this, but maybe she needed the once-in-a-blue-moon success not just for her client, but for herself, as well.

When Rein didn't respond, Ms. Cho tried again.

"Rein, it'll be okay. Trust me," she said. Rein smiled. The only time Ms. Cho used Korean was when she wanted to be doting or motherly. This was perhaps the most she had ever appreciated her manager in her entire life.

She hugged Ms. Cho, and after a few seconds, Ms. Cho hugged her back. After they let go, Rein looked at her manager with renewed determination. All she needed was the reminder that she was doing this for the millions of people she catered to involved, not for her or for anyone else. Though she did like raking in the hundreds and thousands of dollars she got from royalties, she still held onto the joy of making music for others, the satisfaction she felt every time she read fan mail that said something about how her voice helped them through tough times. The last thing she wanted to be was a sell-out.

"I'm fucking doing this," she said eloquently. Ms. Cho patted her on the shoulder and stood up as Rein did the same.

"Thatta girl."

"So, what should I do to get prepared? Have some lyrics with me? Buy some clothes?" Ms. Cho nodded slowly.

"I'll have someone take a look at what you have in your closet and make a decision on the latter. Lyric wise... hm... They did decide to go a more organic route with the artists..."

"What does that mean specifically?"

"You'll be working a little more closely with the band members than you're used to." Rein tilted her head.

"Oh, you know." 

Rein didn't know. 

"...Collaborating with the band to write lyrics, no outside help. And, you will record in the same room instead of in different studios. It seems to work better with artists that have a little more..." Ms. Cho looked at Rein with a hint of a smile, "spunk." Rein laughed and shrugged.

"All I want to do is make a good impression."

"Believe me when I say, they will be very impressed by you," her manager said, so confidently that Rein almost did believe her. She looked down at her toes.

"I hope so." 

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A/N: Ooh! I wonder what will happen at Bighit... Hehehe...