"Persona, who the hell am I? I just wanna go, I just wanna fly. I just wanna give you all the voices till I die."

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The days went by faster than Rein thought it would. As much as the week dragged during the first part, it outran her during the second half. Her favorite time was the precious thirty minutes of lunchtime, where she could recuperate and curl up with a book while eating her sandwich.

She liked watching the boys talk and relax; it almost made her happy to see them so carefree. But sometimes, she liked to talk to them as well, especially the writer group and Jimin. As she spent almost all of her time with Namjoon and Yoongi, she got to know them better through their work.

Namjoon made an effort to bond with her, and she appreciated the fact that they had many of the same interests, including reading, dirty jokes, and nostalgia for the good old days. Jimin, on the other hand, would check in on them during the workday and sneak in snacks once in a while. She suspected it was a ploy to talk to Yoongi some more, as Jimin was one of the only people that he stopped work for. (He also stopped for Namjoon and Rein, but with a disgruntled look first.)

Jimin also took the opportunity to talk to Rein, asking if she ate anything yet and asking how her day was going. He was by far the most outwardly friendly out of the members. (Maybe he was tied with Namjoon, who made sure all of her needs were taken care of before starting his work in the morning.)

She got to know Taehyung and Jungkook better. Jungkook seemed to be a little shy around Rein but talked a lot more than when he was on camera. Taehyung was exactly the same. He was social and always practiced his English with Rein, which was very impressive and with its own merit.

Jungkook didn't really try to speak English with her, as she already established herself to be comfortable with Korean. Though they didn't talk to each other too much in the first place, he exclusively talked to her in his native tongue, and timidly so.

Jin and Hoseok were the most flirtatious of all seven, but that wasn't saying much. Their flirting was quite interesting to her. Instead of the obvious, "Hey girl, you're sexy" kind of flirting, it was more of a cutesy, romantic kind. Jin, of course, would always take the chance to remind her that he was the hottest of all the members. It became funny after a while, especially because the members would roll their eyes every time he said it. Hoseok was unquestionably charming, as well.

He complimented her outfits and commented on her lyrics, though sometimes his comments weren't the most constructive. Of course, it was all a fun game for all of them, wasn't it? After all, it never got out of hand; they seemed to know their limits. And she knew hers.

Sometimes, Rein felt envious around them, seeing how close they were and knowing she would never be able to have that same relationship with anyone around her. They were like brothers, maybe even more than brothers. Her as a solo artist, there was almost no constant. She had no friends in LA. All of her friends were in Austin, probably living their lives having forgotten her.

The boys lived in the same house. Whether they liked it or not, they were together for much of their career, and when Rein thought about it, she would have rather been annoyed at the fact that someone was using the bathroom when she had to go instead of dealing with crippling loneliness.

She expressed this sentiment one day to Namjoon, who was reading a book by Haruki Murakami (Japanese edition) in the living room during lunchtime. The rest were in the dining room, chatting, except for Yoongi, as he was nowhere to be found.

"Y'all are so close," she said quietly. He looked up from his book with a surprised look on his face, not realizing someone was next to him almost the whole time.

"Who?"

"You know, you and the rest of the members." He smiled and closed the book.

"Ha, yeah. We've lived together for so long..." He shook his head. "I see them more than my real family."

"What's that like?" Namjoon thought for a second before responding.

"It's... What it is, I guess. We get breaks to see them after we stop touring. I video call them too, so that's nice."

You poor thing... How deprived was this man, calling a likely two-week vacation to see his family (excluding major holidays, which was most likely another week in total), "nice", as if he was grateful for what he got.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't really get to see my family much either these days. In fact, oh God, I don't even want to pick up the phone and call my mom these days because..." She trailed off, realizing it was a mistake to even go down that train of thought. He didn't say anything, only looked at her, expectant.

He pressed, asking, "Because?" Rein blushed. She wasn't sure if she was okay to share such personal information, what with them being professional business partners and all, but did she really want to make things awkward, anyways?

He's the one who asked, anyway.

"Uh, so, like, when I came here, I told her I was only going to stay for that gig, sort of like my mini debut in Korea before the official one, I suppose. Well, obviously plans changed, and I haven't had the heart to call her about that change of plan."

She looked down at her palms. Namjoon stayed silent, so she continued. The words didn't come out easily at first, but once they did start coming out, it just kept going, like a dam somewhere in her mind had broken and couldn't repair itself in time. Everything in her body was screaming, "What the hell are you thinking, Rein Jones?" The rational part of her brain told her to stop, to pass it off as a joke, nothing serious. But here she was, spilling everything out into the open to a stranger, as she kept reminding herself.

But maybe he wasn't such a stranger after all.

"I guess it's guilt, you know. And confrontations with my mom never go anywhere, so I can only assume my manager told her about it. There's no way she didn't. I'm just worried about when I see her again. We didn't really talk in general once I moved to LA since I got too busy.

"It just gets so tiring, you know, having to explain everything to everyone. I feel like I have to explain myself to people all the time. I..."

Rein realized just how much she had spoken. Namjoon was still looking at her, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry. You probably didn't want to hear all that," she said, going scarlet. Namjoon chuckled, and for a second, she thought he was laughing at her.

Serves me right, she thought. She always hated when people over-shared about their day or lives when it was evident that she was busy doing something else at that moment, but she was nothing but a hypocrite. But he wasn't laughing at her. It was a laugh of relief, a laugh to clear the air. A friendly laugh that was contagious.

"I think you needed that," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. She let out a nervous giggle, shaking his hand off slowly.

"Damn. Maybe I did." She shook her head. "I'm sorry about that, anyway. That was... Too much," she said, looking up at him with hooded eyes. She wasn't supposed to feel so vulnerable. She wasn't supposed to feel so exposed.

"Hey, you wanna talk some more? I'm here," Namjoon said. She shook her head, guilt digging its heel into her stomach until she felt sick.

You shouldn't have talked in the first place, you stupid girl.

"If anything, it's your turn," she said, a hint of a smile growing on her lips. He looked at her with an expression she couldn't read.

"There'd be too much to say," he murmured. Rein furrowed her eyebrows but said nothing. She respected that.

In the end, there was too much everyone had to say, for everyone had secrets to do whatever they wanted with, including her. The time and effort it took to put everything into words weren't worth it, so she decided to keep those secrets. They piled down on her heart, weighing it down like a stone.

But who could she tell? The friends she made in LA were phony, something like a temporary medicine to her. The fake laughter, fake compliments, fake hair, fake fucking everything made her want to throw up. Even a night of passion was just that, one night. The man left the next morning before she woke up, and when she did wake up, she realized she was alone. Desperately alone.

The only thing genuine in her life was her music, and so she buried herself in it neck-deep every chance she got. It was her only coping mechanism, but she saw it as productive. After all, she was laying her feelings out on the table, and still getting work done. She thought it was healthy, in fact.

She hoped to God it was healthy.

"Well, I owe you one now, so if you need me, I'll probably be two feet away from you in the studio," Rein said. He nodded.

"I appreciate it." When it was obvious that their conversation had come to a natural close, she left the couch, leaving him to read his book once more.

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A/N: Whaddup fammmm. So... the mom subplot might be a bit sudden, but I totally have a plan for it. Definitely was not a device to put extra fluff in the story hehe... anyway, hope you enjoyed! Comment and vote!