EUPHORIA
xxiii. group chat
❝DO Y'ALL HAVE NO FAITH IN ME?❞

'WALKER SLAYERS & OTHER AVERAGE HUMANS'

[LYRIC added UNKNOWN #1 to the group chat]

[LYRIC added UNKNOWN #2 to the group chat]

SUITCASE
well who are these unknown folks

UNKNOWN #1
WAIT IS THIS THE WALKING DEAD CAST GC
OH MY FUCKING GOD
]AHSUDHDU

MYA
please tell me that you didn't add crazy fans into a group chat with all of the walking dead cast so they can have our numbers and give it out and so all our fans will be calling us because if so i will be getting a new phone asap

UNKNOWN #1
HOLY FUCK THIS IS ACC THE WALKING DEAD CAST I'M DECEASED BYE

'SAM'URAI
sounds like something lyric would do

UNKNOWN #2
FUCK WE HAVE THE WALKING DEAD CAST NUMBERS

UNKNOWN #1
I KNOW WE'RE ACC SOCIALISING WITH TWD CAST

NANNY NORMAN
lyric i swear to god

MOM
honey please tell me you didn't

UNKNOWN #2
I CAN DO SO MUCH WITH THIS

MYA
LYRIC WHY
YOU HAD ONE JOB

SONEQUA
oh my dear lord

CUDLITZ
how much are we betting that she did?

MCMULLET
$100

LYRIC
DO Y'ALL HAVE NO FAITH IN ME?

MYA
NO

COLTON BEAN
NO

NOT TONY STARK
NO

SUITCASE
NO

'SAM'URAI
NO

KATE-BAE
NO

FLIP PHONE ANDY
N O

NANNY NORMAN
NO

SONEQUA
NO

MOM
NO

ALANNA
NO

KISH
NO

DAD
NO

JESUS
NO

JEFF
NO

DANAI
NO

MCMULLET
NO

CUDLITZ
NO

EMMY
NO

SCAROL
NO

LYRIC
OKAY OKAY SHIT I GET IT

UNKNOWN #2
if anyone has faith in you then they're fucked

SIS
I HAVE FAITH IN YOU LYRIC

UNKNOWN #2
^ ur fucked

MYA
#LYRIN

LYRIC
THANK YOU ERIN
anyways these are sawyer and skylar

SIS
oh joy

COLTON BEAN
who?

LYRIC
they're my best friends when i'm not touring

NOT TONY STARK
which one is which?

UNKNOWN #2
i'm sawyer lawrence
and i s2g if there are any jokes which say i'm friar lawrence from romeo and juliet i will cut you
10/10 convinced that he did drugs

MYA
you're totally friar lawrence

[MYA CHANGED UNKNOWN #2'S CONTACT ID TO 10/10 FRIAR LAWRENCE]

UNKNOWN #1
i'm skylar evans
i'm also a queen bow down to me peasants

[MYA CHANGED UNKNOWN #1'S CONTACT ID TO SKY]

SIS
if you're a queen then i'm a fucking goddess
worship me bitches

MYA
ur actual trash stfu

LYRIC
chya trash*
aka the best type of trash

CHAIRHANDLER
i'm mya trash ngl

SIS
FEJHKFHFSHGFIHOEIJGTGJIIJKDSGJIGSJIOKG
DFHIJGFDHIUFHDG
DFHHFHD
FGFGDFH
FHGHTHT
JGHHFH
HFFGGF
JJFHFHHF
GHGGR
GGGFGFGG    GFFGHTT
JHHFGFGFG
KDHFHF
HG
DFG

LYRIC
FUIHFHDFHIUGDSIJHIDSGJJISDGV
FHD87TYYHI8T54Y
Y5U6Y
5_(*8*^&%&&
UTYT^&^$£%^&$£$
86U&&^^£$"%^£"%
76T"£%$£%^$*(*&*
7(*%$£^&()
6*&&%$£^%
RY£££%%£
76U(*&^ENRJTE
UYT%$^DFNGDJ
RJIY8FEY84EW^%

MYA
C H I L L

FLIP PHONE ANDY
M Y PHO N E IS LA G G IN G

NANNY NORMAN
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE A FLIP PHONE

10/10 FRIAR LAWRENCE
okay so who is who?

LYRIC
if they tell you then you can't leak their numbers or else i s2g i will crush your scones

SKY
o okay shit calm down

JESUS
i am your lord and saviour jesus christ

SKY
if you pour holy water on me i'll burn

JESUS
i mean same

CHAIRHANDLER
i'm chandler

NOT TONY STARK
i am the long lost cousin of tony stark

MYA
NO UR NOT

NOT TONY STARK
LET ME LIVE

KATE-BAE
NO
anyways i'm katelyn

COLTON BEAN
i'm tony stark's cousin's boyfriend, colton.

'SAM'URAI
i'm sam

SUITCASE
i'm not associated with any of these people i secretly hate them all
but my name is casey

MYA
i'm mya

FLIP PHONE ANDY
My nA me is an d y

NANNY NORMAN
i'm norman
also ignore andy he can't use a phone for shit

JEFF
I'm Jeff

10/10 FRIAR LAWRENCE
is your name jeff?

JEFF
Yes?? My name is Jeffrey.

SIS
jeff, honey, you just played yourself.

10/10 FRIAR LAWRENCE
mA NaME'S jEfF

MYA
chandler, i found your competition.

CHAIRHANDLER
friar lawrence can fite me
juliet's parents wouldn't capuLET her be with romeo

MYA
lmao bye

CHAIRHANDLER
but can i just say
mercutio got stabbed in the gut and, instead of seeking medical help, he stood up and made a pun about it and then died.
aka how i will die

MYA
well tbh six people died bc romeo couldn't control his dick

DAD
language!

MYA
fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck

SIS
i'm a great role model

10/10 FRIAR LAWRENCE
that makes it sound like romeo went around smacking people with his dick until they died because he couldn't control it

MYA
isn't that exactly what he did??

10/10 FRIAR LAWRENCE
good point

SONEQUA
STOP SWEARING KIDS
AND WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT ROMEO AND JULIET?!
CHANGE OF TOPIC
i'm sonequa

MOM
i'm lauren
how do you cope with lyric?

SKY
give her food

10/10 FRIAR LAWRENCE
you don't

MYA
accurate

DAD
i'm steven
aka the dad of all the kids in the group chat

MYA
well that'd make our relationships slightly awkward

10/10 FRIAR LAWRENCE
incest is wincest

SKY
NO

ALANNA
LET'S CHANGE THIS TOPIC
i'm alanna

KISH
i'm christian but call me kish

MCMULLET
I'm Josh

MYA
otherwise known as mcmullet

DANAI
I'm Danai

SKY
YOU'RE MICHONNE ON TWD
I LOVE YOUR KATANA

MYA
don't we all??

CUDLITZ
i'm michael

EMMY
i'm emily

SCAROL
I'm Melissa

SIS
i'm a goddess.

MYA
^ that's erin, my sister.

NANNY NORMAN
anyways, how is chandler?

MYA
he's awake now (as you could tell from him texting), but they want to keep him in for another day just to make sure that everything's okay. i mean, he was run over.

MOM
what's happening with the tour then?

MYA
it won't be postponed. luckily, today was a rest day, and then we leave late tomorrow. it shouldn't interfere with anything, and if it did, then i'd reschedule the show.

DAD
i finally give my permission for you to date chandler

CHAIRHANDLER
bit late for that

DAD
okay i take it back

MYA
lmao do you really think i need it?