EUPHORIA
viii. group chat
❝#DABONTHEMHATERZ❞

'FELICITY FAMILY'

['SAM'URAI REMOVED CHAIRHANDLER FROM THE CONVERSATION]

'SAM'URAI
you okay, mya??

SUITCASE
that's a stupid question  to ask.

LYRIC
you're stupid.

SIS
i agree with lyric

SUITCASE
I'M STUPID?! HAVE YOU SEEN YOU TWO?!

TURTLE-KILLER
please calm down.

ACTUAL MOTHER
What's happened?

ACTUAL FATHER
Wait, why wouldn't Mya be okay?

SIS
e!fuckingnews

LYRIC
i'm going to cut open their bodies and strangle them with their own intestines
how dare they ruin chya?

SUITCASE
as much as i want to murder someone for upsetting mya, there's no netflix in prison so calm your shit.

ACTUAL MOTHER
I'm still confused.

ACTUAL FATHER
Me too.

NOT TONY STARK
basically, e!news is a terrible news article which releases articles with barely any evidence. they exaggerate the slightest things.

ACTUAL MOTHER
And what does this have to do with Mya?

ACTUAL FATHER
And why did you remove Chandler from the chat?

COLTON BEAN
e!news made an article saying that mya's cheating on chandler, and chandler believes it along with everyone else on social media.

'SAM'URAI
they've all been commenting snake emojis in her instagram and insulting her.

ACTUAL FATHER
Is that why Mya and Chandler locked themselves in their own rooms?

TURTLE-KILLER
yep.

ACTUAL MOTHER
I'm going to kill a young boy who goes by the name of Chandler Carlton Riggs.

ACTUAL FATHER
Rosie, calm down.
Actually, I'll help you kill him.

SIS
I'll join.

LYRIC
Me too.

MYA
as much as i love the idea of murdering people right now, calm down.

'SAM'URAI
are you okay??

SUITCASE
once again, that's a dumb question.

MYA
i'm fine.

ACTUAL FATHER
I will kick Chandler off the bus if you want.

MYA
i've already told him that he's got to get off the bus after tomorrow's show.

SUITCASE
has it affected your relationship that much?

MYA
he believes them, so of course it did.
he stopped reading my messages after a while.

SIS
BRB GOING TO KILL A DUDE

TURTLE-KILLER
ERIN, I CAN HEAR YOU SCREAMING AT HIM FROM THE OTHER END OF THE BUS SHUT UP

SUITCASE
I NEED MY SLEEP

LYRIC
BRB GOING TO HELP ERIN KILL A DUDE

MYA
i said no to murder but ok

ACTUAL MOTHER
ERIN STOP SWEARING AT THE BOY
JACOB DON'T JOIN THEM
OH MY GOD WHY IS MY FAMILY LIKE THIS
NO DO NOT GET THE AXE I SWEAR TO GOD

TURTLE-KILLER
oh my god.

MYA
dad, erin, lyric, calm down.
if he wants to be an idiot, then let him be an idiot.

SIS
he'll realise what he's missing soon, sis.

NOT TONY STARK
and if he doesn't then i'll happily get iron man to punch him in the face.

MYA
just because you have the last name of stark does not mean that you're related to tony stark.

NOT TONY STARK
LET ME LIVE.

LYRIC
i hate to be the bearer of bad news but people are still pretty pissed off with mya.

SIS
how much money is it to bail someone out of prison if they've murdered a bunch of people?

SUITCASE
there's no netflix in prison.

ACTUAL MOTHER
It would presumably take a lot of money to bail you out of prison.

ACTUAL FATHER
I wouldn't bail you out anyway. I'd get peace and quiet.

SIS
love you too, dad.

SUITCASE
there's no chya in prison.

LYRIC
EFJKHNHNJFGHJESIETGHJIOGLEU
WHWGSDATF
WHATWEFF
TAHSTD'S A DISAGARECE

SIS
POOR PEOPLE
HWO CANDE TEHYE COPE WITGHOUT CHYASDS?
PORO A SOPULS

ACTUAL FATHER
Translations:
*gibberish*
*more gibberish*
WHAT
THAT'S A DISGRACE
POOR PEOPLE
HOW CAN THEY COPE WITHOUT CHYA
POOR SOULS

ACTUAL MOTHER
They're criminals.

SIS
EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE BLESSED WITH CHYA

'SAM'URAI
casey, why did you do this?

SUITCASE
i don't think mya wants her sister or her backup singer to go to jail just when she's starting tour
and i had to think of someway to get them to not commit murder.

TURTLE-KILLER
casey has a point.

COLTON BEAN
i just thought of a plan

'SAM'URAI
what for?

COLTON BEAN
to stop the majority of the hate, hopefully.

MYA
i'm intrigued.

SIS
stop using fancy words

SUITCASE
why? don't they fit in your vocabulary

SIS
did you just call me dumb?

SUITCASE
yes.

LYRIC
o okay no hesitation, casey.

SUITCASE
YOU BOTH KNOW THAT YOU'RE DUMB

SIS
i will castrate you

SUITCASE
O_o

COLTON BEAN
anyways...

'SAM'URAI
what's the plan?

COLTON BEAN
mya hasn't spoke up about the article or attempted to disprove the rumours online, so nobody knows her side of the story.
the only story that they have is from e!news, so that's what they'll believe.
maybe if mya spoke up about it, people will stop the hate?
we could even get greedus in it and say what they saw?

SIS
GReEduSSSWEFJ
GREFDDSUFA\
I LOEVE GFREDEDUS

LYRIC
GREEDSUS
GREEEEEEEDDDDDDUUUUUUSSSSSSSSS

SUITCASE
HOW MANY SHIPS DO YOU TWO HAVE?

LYRIC
MANY

MYA
that's a good plan, colton.

NOT TONY STARK
wow did you know that my boyfriend is great

TURTLE-KILLER
you've mentioned it quite a few times.

'SAM'URAI
according to twitter, people are waiting for mya to speak out about it.

LYRIC
this could be a good plan then.

SIS
it could actually work.

SUITCASE
meanwhile, we could all try to contact e!news and get them to take down the article?
blow up their phones and maybe even start a hashtag #TakeENewsDown

SIS
#ENewsIsOverParty

'SAM'URAI
honestly both of those hashtags would work amazingly

NOT TONY STARK
#MuchLoveMya

TURTLE-KILLER
#WeLoveYouMya

LYRIC
#DabOnThemHaterzMya

MYA
did you just-

LYRIC

[MYA REMOVED LYRIC FROM THE CONVERSATION]

SIS
O_o

[SIS ADDED LYRIC TO THE CONVERSATION]

LYRIC
ROOD

[MYA REMOVED LYRIC FROM THE CONVERSATION]

SIS
MYA I WILL DAB ON YOU

[SIS ADDED LYRIC TO THE CONVERSATION]

LYRIC
#DabOnThemHaterz
#TheHaterIsMya
#DabOnMya

[MYA REMOVED LYRIC FROM THE CONVERSATION]

[MYA REMOVED SIS FROM THE CONVERSATION]