Those following weeks feel like some kind of purgatory. The pain doesn't dull; of course it doesn't. Instead it becomes monotonous, living the same day everyday, getting the same look of pity from Marnie.

Nobody found out, other than her, thankfully. Shane and I decided it would be better to keep in on the down-low; people in this town have a tendency to be tactless, even by accident.

If there's one thing to be positive about, however, it's that Shane has managed to stay away from the drink throughout it all. Me? Not so much.

I enter the saloon alone, sitting at the bar. Gus is busy with Pam, so Emily turns to me.

"Hey, Mads, you okay?"

"Yeah. Could you get me a vodka?"

Emily nods, pouring one out. "So... why do you keep drinking? Does Shane know?"

"Are you gonna tell him?"

She shakes her head. "No. But if somethings up, you should talk to someone about it. It's not healthy to turn to the drink. You of all people must know that, though, right?"

I nod. "I know."

"If you want a drink, I won't stop you. It's your choice, at the end of the day. But just take it easy, okay?"

I nod. Emily pours me a shot of vodka, and I sigh, staring down at it. Behind me, the door to the saloon opens, and I hear a voice.

"Madeleine?"

I turn. "Shane?"

"Why are you here?"

I stare back for a moment. "...why are you here?"

"Um... you answer first."

"...for a drink." I mumble.

Shane stares at me for a moment, uncertainty in his eyes. It seems neither of us know how to approach this situation. Emily leans on the counter, observing, ready to jump in.

After a long moment of silence, I open my mouth to talk again. "So... why are you here?"

"I... uh..." he takes a breath. "I'm so sorry."

I pause. I don't really want to have this argument right now - or ever, for that matter - so, I take a deep breath. I'm very aware of everyone's eyes on me, and I want to reduce the gossip damage as much as possible.

"Let's go home." I murmur. He nods.

"Alright. Alright, Madeleine."

The walk home is silent, but we finally reach our home. I take a breath as I walk in, hoping to find Betty, but she's nowhere to be found.

Shane follows behind me, and I face away from him.

"Were you gonna drink?" I ask after a moment of tense silence.

His voice is quiet. "Yes."

I shake my head. "Shane, you... you've made so much progress."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Madeleine."

I blink away a few tears in my eyes, grateful to be turned away from him. "Why-why didn't you just come talk to me?"

"I don't wanna burden you. You're my angel. You're already going through this horrible, traumatic thing, and-and I didn't wanna come moan to you about how I'm feeling, when you're the one who had to feel it happen. So... I'm sorry, but I felt weak, and the one thing that was always there to provide comfort in the past was..."

I take a breath, and finally turn to him. "But it was your baby too."

"Huh?"

"You lost the baby, too. You're grieving too. And we're in this together, aren't we?"

He pauses and nods. "Yeah, we are. Which begs the question... why were you drinking? Not only that, but keeping it a secret?"

I pause. "I'm sorry." I mumble. "I just... needed something to take the edge off."

He chuckles softly. "That's how it starts, doll. You need to take the edge off, then you need to take the edge off of the hangover, and before you know it, you have twice as many edges as you did before. And, I don't mean to... bring up anything bad for you, but if your dad was addicted, you could easily have the same happen to you."

I look down and nod. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I am in no position to judge you for wanting a drink." His arm gently touches my back. "And I want you to know I love you so, so much. And that's scary for me. Cos I know I don't deserve you, and I don't want you to realise that and leave me."

"Shane, you seem to think I'm some kind of guardian angel who- who fixed everything."

"Yeah, you are."

"No, I didn't. Not that you ever needed to be 'fixed', but you're the one who made that choice to improve yourself. I mean, sure, I got you to the doctor that day but you made the decision to get better. It's not like I staged an intervention."

He smiles and shrugs. "Still. If you hadn't found me I wouldn't have been able to act on that decision."

"That was a coincidence. A very lucky one, but still. You shouldn't idolise me in that way. All that you'll feel is like you owe me something and that's not very healthy." I reply.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks, Madeleine."

I slowly wrap my arms around his neck. He caresses my back, kissing my cheek.

"We're gonna be okay. Yeah? We have each other." He murmurs. "I love you."

"I love you too." I mumble. He gives me a little squeeze before letting go.

"Guess we both have problems, huh?" Shane chuckles.

"Yeah." I giggle. "Good thing we can share them."