chapter 33 don't walk alone
"You look lovely." Jimin appears in the reflection of the mirror with awe in his eyes.
I smile shyly and gently run the brush through my hair. "Thanks. I think this is the first time you've seen me with makeup."
"It isn't the makeup," he comments with a flirty grin, "it's just you."
I giggle quietly and shrug with one shoulder, "Thanks, Chim." I set the brush down on the sink and tie part of my hair back with a white band.
I decided to look nice for dinner with my parents. It isn't for their sake since they could care less about my appearance. I'm only dressing nice because we are going to an expensive restaurant and I don't want people to stare at the healing bruises covering my face. Besides, I might be curious about how Jimin would react if I put actual effort into how I looked.
I don't typically pay attention to how I look and usually dress for efficiency over style. I live in sweatpants, oversized sweatshirts, and jeans like any other college student. I don't wear makeup often since it causes my skin to break out and it's too much work to upkeep during the day. I end up smudging it or wearing mascara on the one day I end up crying. On top of that, I don't want to spend money on high-quality makeup because I know I'd rather buy books or food instead.
But tonight, I am going to attempt to look nice.
I am wearing a light chiffon shirt that is a soft tan-pink color. The fabric is almost see-through but the folds of the shirt cover my bra lines. A loosely tied bow is tied around my neck and hangs low on my chest. When I walk, the ribbons of the bow flutter to my sides. I wear a black pencil skirt that hugs my hips and reaches my knees. I used a bit of blush for my cheeks and a light pink tone for my lipstick.
Jungkook, who was just passing the doorway, stops in his tracks and takes a moment to peek into the restroom. His Bambi eyes widen in surprise, "Oh wow, Eden, you look so pretty!"
Jimin's gaze flicks to Jungkook as if he were irritated by Jungkook's compliment.
I smirk and shrug again, "Thanks, Kookie!"
Jimin's expression turns playful as he latches himself to Jungkook's side, trying to weigh him down. Jimin's tail flicks sharply behind him as he starts to giggle, "Ooh? You think she's pretty, yeah? What about me? Am I pretty, Jungkookie?" he teases loudly.
Jungkook laughs at Jimin's strange behavior. He grabs Jimin's wrists easily and pries them off, forcing Jimin to take a step back, "You're so weird," Jungkook states and presses forward.
Jimin starts giggling as he fights against Jungkook's strength. "Come here, you rascal!" Jimin shouts and tries to back Jungkook into the hallway to push him against the wall.
I roll my eyes as they continue to wrestle and tease each other and finish getting ready.
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I walk out into the living room and find Taehyung lying across the couch. He lays on his stomach with one arm dangling off the edge of the couch. He looks up at him with mild interest before smiling, "You look pretty."
I offer him a quick smile as I head to the kitchen. "Thanks, Tae." I enter the kitchen and pour myself a glass of water. I check the time and confirm that I have thirty minutes before I have to meet my parents.
This isn't how I wanted to spend my Saturday night but there is no mature way out of it. I could call them and tell them I'm not going to show up, but that would result in them coming to my apartment without warning. Going to the restaurant is the best-case scenario because they are more likely to behave civilly when surrounded by strangers.
You can't start a screaming match in a restaurant without damaging your reputation. That's their most prized possession.
I'd take a two-hour dinner over a weekend trapped inside the apartment together. Thank God they are staying at a hotel and have no intentions of coming to my place as far as I know. Dad is busy with his conference and Mom made plans for herself so they should stay away from here.
Even if this is as good as it's going to get, I can't shake the feeling of impending doom. I don't want to see my parents. I don't want to endure their snide remarks and watchful gazes throughout a dinner. I hate how I have to deal with them, especially right now.
I can't seem to catch a break these days. It feels like everywhere I turn is a new challenge, another battle to fight, it feels like it will never end.
I walk back out into the living room and pause by the door to check my purse. I make sure I have my wallet, my phone, and a butter knife tucked safely at the bottom. I added it more as a joke than for actual safety. I won't allow myself to fall into a downward spiral of paranoia by taking the knife seriously.
"Are you sure you want to go alone?" Taehyung asked worriedly, sitting up from the couch. His sincere gaze looks over me with care. "None of us feel comfortable with this and I'm sure you don't either."
My stomach twists with guilt. I had hoped to leave before they could bring it up again but he caught me.
"I have to leave the house at some point," I reasoned with a smile. I adjust the strap of my purse onto my shoulder to fidget with something.
Taehyung's eyes waver with distant fear. "But don't you think it's too soon? It's only been a week." The yellow light of my lamp casts soft shadows across his handsome face and reflects against the dark pools within his eyes. The depth in his gaze causes me to second-guess my decision to leave, specifically to leave them alone.
No. They'll be safe here. Everything will be alright.
"This is the only way to keep my parents from coming into my home," I explain with a note of reluctance. "And I don't want you guys to ever suffer a meeting with my parents. I won't put you through that."
Taehyung's lips press together with doubt. "Are you sure it's not because you're ashamed of us?"
"Of course not, Tae," I reply emphatically, taking a moment to look him in the eyes. "I am proud to call myself your friend, you have no idea how happy I am to have met all of you. It's just that my parents are kinda horrible people and I..." I pause briefly and sigh, "I'm ashamed of them. I don't want you to meet them because they're awful."
"Is it because we're hybrids?" I find Jungkook standing in the hallway with his tail dropped behind him. He slowly lifts his head to meet my eyes, disheartened. He continues, "I don't like that you're going alone either. If we could hide that, our tails and ears... could we come?"
"Or at least take me," Taehyung pleads, slowly standing from the couch. "I don't have any visible hybrid parts, remember? I can pass off as a human, I can go with you!"
I answer firmly, "I will literally parade you around campus with me. I am not afraid of what people think of hybrids. Their opinions mean nothing to me and they shouldn't mean anything to you either." I take a breath before continuing. "But I'm not going to let my parents insult you. You don't know what they're like. I'm not going to expose you to them. Everything will be fine." I cast them a pleading look but their worried gazes force me to remain still.
I won't let my parents degrade or hurt these sweet boys. I won't let my parents treat them like they treat me. I won't make them sit through a night of awkward tension and snide remarks when they could be cuddled up at home, playing a video game together, with a pile of snacks at their side.
Jimin ushers Jungkook from behind and forces him into the living room. He pauses briefly and frowns in confusion. "What's going on?" he asks, his tail flicking nervously as he senses the tension in the air.
Jungkook turns to Jimin and grabs his wrists tightly with an urgent look. "Tell her that she can't go alone!" Jungkook asks immediately, his voice rising with intensity. "Tell her that she has to take one of us!"
Taehyung nods quickly. "Yeah! Tell her, Jiminie!"
Why do they think Jimin can make me change my mind?
Jimin's gaze softens as he is attacked by Jungkook's begging stare. It's heart-wrenching to watch, but I can't change my answer.
"Jungkookie..."
See? Jimin is on my side in this. He'll agree that it's better if everybody stays home.
"I think she has a point about keeping us away from her parents."
I frown at his choice of words. "Jimin, what I mean is that you guys shouldn't endure a night with my parents. I'm not trying to keep you from them. I'm trying to let you enjoy a night alone. Why do you even want to come?"
Jimin pauses, then he looks at me with annoyance in his slender-shaped eyes. "Because you shouldn't have to suffer either. I don't like that you're going alone either. You know they're still out there."
I feel a twinge of offense at the suggestion that I can't defend myself but I know where he's coming from. I wasn't able to protect myself from those men physically on multiple accounts. You can't bring a butter knife to a gunfight, after all. I want to believe I can fend off five armed fugitives but realistically, that isn't an option for me. I wasn't conveniently taught self-defense in the fifth grade.
Even so, I want to leave the house to move past my paranoia of being attacked. I can't continue to hide in the house. The boys continue to bring up the fact that we are constantly in danger after my episode. I have tried to sway them into accepting our safety but they remain cautious as ever and expect me to do the same.
It's understandable because they are the true victims of this story. I received only a taste of the horrors they endured for years. They have every right to be cautious but I don't deserve to feel that same paranoia or worry.
My thoughts twist on themselves until I give up trying to rationalize my decision to leave the house.
I'm confusing myself.
What matters is the decision I made and that means going to dinner alone.
Jimin takes my silence as a sign to make a decision of his own.
"That's why Taehyung is going with you."
Taehyung and I turn on Jimin in unison, surprised by his answer.
"What? No, guys, I already told you no," I argue, stepping slowly toward the door. "You don't understand, this isn't about you guys being hybrids. It's not dangerous. I'm going to a safe area and I'll be with my parents."
"McDonald's shouldn't be dangerous either yet here we are," Jungkook mumbles.
I stare at Jungkook, my shoulders are tense with frustration. "You're not helping," I state flatly.
Jimin shakes his head, "No, you don't understand either. You're doing the thing again. You think you're protecting us but you aren't. You're putting yourself in danger and I won't let that happen."
"Jimin—"
"Eden," he cuts me off, locking eyes with me. His serious gaze pierces through my resolve. His dark eyes burn with underlying warnings. I won't let this go.
A burst of stubbornness spreads through my chest making it difficult to even swallow.
My eyes narrow slowly. "Don't interrupt me."
"Don't argue with me. You know this is the right thing to do," Jimin warns, his voice slipping into a lower octave. "In this family, we protect each other equally. You can't sacrifice yourself because you think it will help the most people. We are in this together. The only way this is going to work is if you let us help you too."
"There has to be a balance," Jungkook adds quietly. "Stop taking on all of the burdens. I hate to see you upset... I don't want you to get hurt..."
Taehyung draws closer and stands in front of me. Hesitantly, he takes my hand and tenderly covers it with his own. "The only thing we have is each other... we can't let you walk alone. If I learned anything in that place is that family is all that matters. I won't risk losing another member. You're my sister now. That means we protect you too."
I immediately think back to when Jimin on the first day when all he wanted to do was return to his family. He wanted to save them with all his heart and was willing to do anything to return to them. The boys are bonded by unshakable loyalty to one another.
We will protect you too.
I didn't realize a simple decision to go to a dinner party alone would stir such a passionate reaction. On the surface, it doesn't appear significant but at its heart, there is more to it than that.
It's not about whether it is safe to leave the house. It's something else entirely. Something I still have difficulty comprehending. Something I want to understand as they do.
What does family truly mean?
My expression softens as a flood of emotions swells in my chest. My body relaxes as a new decision formulates in my mind.
Back in the garden, I was a hypocrite and expected the others to sacrifice themselves for my sake. I thought they would save me because I was acting selflessly when I was being selfish. I couldn't forget the guilt I felt in the aftermath and how I knew I didn't deserve their loyalty and sacrifice.
One day, I hope to be that person, and I wish I could be as kind-hearted and brave as they are.
Love is sacrifice, and family is who you make those sacrifices for.
For reasons beyond me, these three amazing boys have accepted me into their family. They made the choice to protect me, to sacrifice for me, and they continue to show that love.
I have to find the balance and discover how to truly be part of a family. Through healing and learning, I hope to become a family member they can be proud of.
So I take my first step toward that goal and say, "Then let's go."
Their eyes widen in unison and make soft noises of surprise.
I nod firmly and turn my face towards them once again. "Yes. Let's go. We'll go together." I gestured to the hallway, "You guys are going to need some fancy clothes, and we might be a bit late but we can work with that."
Jimin's eyes light up with uncontainable excitement, "Really? We're going together?"
I chuckle lightly and nod. "Yeah. Together. It seems like you convinced me."
Taehyung breaks into a wide smile that shows all his teeth. "This is going to be fun!"
Jungkook bounces himself around in a circle before going still. He flashes me a look of concern, "You said it was an expensive place. Do we even have the money for that?"
I hesitate to answer him as I mentally run through the bank account numbers. It causes me physical pain to think about our current financial status. I have no idea how I am going to swing this.
Jimin notices the fear on my face and nods in understanding. "We can go to a restaurant together on another day. Only one of us needs to come with you tonight."
"Who goes with her?" Jungkook asks hesitantly.
"Jimin said I am going," Taehyung replies with a note of determination. He smiles at me through the corner of his gaze, "I'll keep you safe. Don't worry."
Jimin's eyes sadden with regret. "I did say that..."
My gaze lingers on Jimin, waiting for him to change his mind but he doesn't. "Well," I begin slowly, "we have fifteen minutes before we are late. Tae, if you're coming, we need to hurry and find something nice for you to wear tonight. I also need to give you a quick crash course on the curse that is my parentage."
"Let's go!" Taehyung cheers, happy as can be. Taehyung sprints into the bedroom with Jungkook at his heels, equally excited about tonight even though he isn't coming with.
I couldn't help but notice the pained look of longing on Jimin's face as I left the room. He stood alone in the living room with a growing shadow over his face. I wanted to return to him and reassure him that everything would be fine, but we were running low on time. So I followed Taehyung and began our preparations for dinner.
A/N: I am finally back!! It was a crazy week of homework and exams, but I survived!! I took extra time to polish this chapter due to its initial roughness. Writing in between assignments is a hit or miss. What do you think will happen at this fateful dinner? How with Taeden fair against "The Parents"? (I love coming up with unit names if you can't tell XD Jungeden, Taekooken, Taeden, Jimeden, etc) Remember to eat a good meal and drink some water, lovelies!
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