White wisps of condensation rose from the cup of hot coffee in Taehyung's hand, forming beautiful swirls of mist in the air. He let out a sigh as he blinked his bloodshot eyes wearily. Shifting to a more comfortable position on the park bench, he let out a sigh. The park was devoid of people, most citizens preferring to spend their Christmas in their warm and toasty homes. Well, Taehyung was an exception. In the spring, exotic flowers came into bloom, and the brilliant green grass was ever so comfortable to lie on. However, far from being a gorgeous paradise of escape, the park was presently void of colour. The plants had all withered as the cold winter washed over the land, and the once amazing place became empty -- just like Taehyung's heart.

You're my sun, one and only in this world

I bloom for you, but you make me thirsty

It's too late, too late

I can't live without you

Even if 'm drying out, I try harder to reach you

Once upon a time, this had been Tae's favourite place, but not anymore. Far from that, it had become a library of sorts. A library of recollection, where once faded memories came to into full colour, bright and painful to his heart.

His felt his chest constrict as a vision resurfaced in the back of his mind : Lying, carefree and blissfully happy, in one of the most beautifully planted flowerbeds, with his breathtakingly handsome neighbour beside him, laughing at a joke he had told. Wiping tears of laughter from his eyes, Tae grinned at the man next to him. "Oh, Kookie, you never fail to amaze me with your wit." Jungkook smiled, a special smile that came into existence only when the two of them were together. He interlaced their hands together, a pink tint appearing on his cheeks. Taehyung smiled fondly. After all these years together, shy Jungkook would still blush whenever they held hands. Tae loved that about him, just like how he loved everything else about Jungkook.

"Taetae ... we've been together for how many years now?" Jungkook had voiced Taehyung's thoughts. "More than I could count. Wait, why are you asking me this? You aren't leaving me, are you?" Taehyung felt as if a cold hard fist had closed around his heart, squeezing it tight and rendering him breathless. "Jungkook, I --"

"--Of course not, Tae! How could you think that?" Jungkook squeezed Taehyung's hand  reassuringly. "Just the opposite, really ... I mean, we've been through half of our lives with each other ... I can't ... I can't imagine life without you. I don't know if you feel the same way, but life would be meaningless without you by my side. You are the one, above all, that had been there for me. You comforted me when my parents passed away, your family took me in when I had nowhere else to go ... you were the one who loved me the most. You were a brother to me, but you have become so much more ..." Jungkook trailed off, lost in reminiscence. Taehyung swallowed, unsure where this was heading. Jungkook had made it clear he wasn't breaking up with him. What else would he want to do? Unless ... he wanted to marry him? No, of course he wouldn't, they were much too young, much too inexperienced. Besides, society had hardly rejoiced their relationship.  There was no question that their marriage would be severely frowned on, and that was not considering Taehyung's own problem ...

"Taehyung, I know that this may seem naive, may seem even childish, but ..." Jungkook took a deep breath, slipping his free hand into his pocket. Taehyung blinked in surprise -- suddenly, Jungkook was slipping a beautiful diamond ring onto his ring finger. "Tae, w-will you marry me?"

"I ..." Dread filled Taehyung's entire body. He had known this day would come, but he did not expect it to come so soon. "Jungkook, I ..." Looking at Jungkook's hope filled eyes, Taehyung felt self hatred course through himself like icy poison. Oh, how he wished things were different ... 

But it's no use, it's a dream to be broken

I run and run, but I'm not getting anywhere

Just burn me out, yes

Keep pushing me away

I am a fool, crazy in love, chasing in circles after you

"I can't. I just can't. Get away from me, please ... I ... I agreed to marry another man ... Jung Hoseok is the heir to XY Enterprises, our families had already arranged our marriage a long time ago ... I'm sorry, Jungkook, but it would be the best choice for both of us ..."

Unable to take it anymore, Taehyung ripped his hand out of Jungkook's, shoved the ring back into Jungkook's hand, and ran away, leaving his heartbroken boyfriend behind.

-

Jungkook's hand fell limply to this side.

The ring he had meant to give Taehyung tumbled to the ground as his grip went slack.

Taehyung had meant everything to him.

Everything.

His world had revolved around Tae. Without him, Jungkook was nothing.

And now, he realised that Tae had never loved him. He had been pretending all along.

What was the meaning of life, now that he realised Taehyung did not care for him at all? With a sinking feeling, he realised that without Tae, he was homeless.

Tears spilled out of his eyes as he broke down sobbing. Trying his best to stifle his cries, Jungkook ran away from the place that had once held so many precious memories, memories he knew were staged. Every kiss, every loving smile ... it was all fake. Utterly false. All Taehyung was  was a big fat phony.

Make me run

Make me run and run more

Let my feet rip apart with wounds

At least I can I smile when I see you

Stopping at the middle of a bridge, Jungkook shakily caught his breath, shuddering from the force of his sobs. His tears fell down, down, down into the murky water below. After a while, Jungkook found himself contemplating joining his tears. After all, he was homeless. He was a university dropout. Unemployed. He was a worthless human being, unfit to live in  world where Kim Taehyung did not love him.

If only Jungkook had thought twice about the decision he was going to made.

If only he had stopped to realise that life was too precious to throw away.

If only he had seen the look on Taehyung's face when he heard the news -- completely bloodless and utterly horrified.

If only he had seen Taehyung's broken form crying rivers of tears as gripping his lifeless hand, he stroked Jungkook's hair, knowing that the only person he had loved would never open his eyes again.

I run, run, run

I can't stop

Run, run, run again

I can't help it

This is all I can do anyway

All I know is how to love you

-

After finishing his coffee, Taehyung had wandered aimlessly along the frost-covered streets. Melodious carols drifted out from the open door of the church, and Taehyung found another bout of tears threaten to spill from his eyes. Jungkook had loved that song. He had sang it over and over again, even when Taehyung's older brother Jimin had threatened to throw Jungkook out if he did not shut up. Now, it felt so wrong hearing the song without Jungkook by his side.

He picked up his pace, running running away from all those memories, from the heavy weight that had been placed on his shoulders -- the weight of Jungkook's death. Was it possible dig a hole, so deep that you could never climb out, and then be pushed into it yourself? That was how Taehyung felt right then. Stuck in a deep dark hole of misery, guilt and regret.

Jungkook ... if Taehyung could go back to anytime in the past, he would go back to that day, and accept Jungkook's proposal. After all, there were many other solutions to the arranged marriage problem. He could elope, run away with Jungkook, far far away from his family and all of their expectations.

Instead, now it was Jungkook that was so far away, hopelessly out of Taehyung's reach.

Run, run, run again

It's okay to fall

Run, run. Run, again

It's okay to get hurt

I'm alright, even if I can't have you

Pitiful destiny, point your finger at me

Taehyung blinked as he slowed to a stop. In front of him was a wrought iron gate which encircled a huge area of land. Gravestones stuck out of the ground in neat rows, bouquets of flowers lying on them.

Unconsciously, Taehyung had ran to a cemetery.

Jungkook's cemetery.

Run

Don't tell me bye, bye

He pushed open the gate, hardly taking notice of the freezing metal. He walked, as if on autopilot, to that spot that he had frequented. Jungkook's gravestone was simple and neat, without any unnecessary add-ons -- just the way he would have liked it. His was the only grave that was devoid of flowers.

Taehyung knealt at the grave, touching his forehead to the cold stone, the way he used to do with Jungkook. "Kookie. Hey. Can you hear me? Wherever you are, I hope that you are in a better place, with a man that deserves your kind heart. A man that I could not be."

Run

You make me cry, cry

Taehyung traced the craving of Jungkook's name with his fingers. "I ... I'm getting married next week. To Hoseok. I've already told you why I had to do so, and I ... I learnt to be happy with what I have in this life. Hoseok isn't you. He will never have a treasured place in my heart like you. But in his own way, he is lovable and uniquely handsome.

I had never thought that I would say this, but maybe living with Hoseok will not be as bad as I thought. I love him, but never as much as I love you. I will have to move away with him, to USA, to help with his company, but I will come back to see you. And this is a promise that I will keep. 

Farewell, my love."

Run

Love is a lie, lie

Taehyung stood, and walked briskly away, the heaviness in his heart slightly more bearable. If he had looked back, he would have seen a boy, around twenty years of age, standing in front of the grave. He would have seen the small smile that appeared on the face of Jungkook's ghost, as Jungkook was finally assured that Taehyung would be happy.

And as long as Taehyung was happy, Jungkook would be perfectly content with watching from the sidelines, even though it pained him.

Don't tell me, don't tell me

Don't tell me bye, bye

After all, sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.