✧･ﾟ: *

the summer of 89.' it could've been described as quite a normal summer for most of my friends. the typical nights spent partying and drinking til' their stomachs couldn't handle it anymore. or the nights spent gazing at the fireworks as they grazed the sky in a palpitating manner with an ample amount of screaming colours.

i thought that was how mine would have went. i figured that was exactly how it would've gone; that i would be pursuing the very same acts as some of my moronic friends. but, it never did.

instead, i met her. instead of the things that could have been, i pursued the things that should have been.

the summer of 89' could be described in an amplitude of meaningful words to one person; but to me, there were only two that could fully portray what that summer meant to me.

bliss and anguish.

now, i know what you may be thinking. how can something be so blissful yet agonizing at the same time? well. that's what i'm here to tell you. so sit back, relax and maybe put your feet up; because boy do i have a story to tell you.

-

the date was july 1st, 1989. where i live, we were celebrating canada day. the day where canada gained its newfound independence and such. and like any other typical hardcore, canadian family; that meant that this day was taken very seriously.

my mom had forgotten to buy hot dog buns from the market and had asked me to go buy some for our guests that would be arriving at our house in a few short hours. she seemed very stressed when she asked me, i could tell by the little wrinkle that appeared just above her left eyebrow as she looked at me with furrowed eyebrows and pleading eyes with desperation laced through her tone.

she always had to make everything perfect when it came to family gatherings and parties, i guess you could call her a little ocd-ish. if that even is a word. but, as i looked at her exhausted manner, i knew that i had to help her out even if i didn't understand why this day was of so much importance to her.

i made my way into the quiet, little store as a bell above the door rang; although, i didn't really pay any attention to it. i found the hot dog buns on a nearby shelf and grabbed one and made my way to the checkout.

nobody was in the small store when i had walked in just a few minutes before, despite there being a sign on the door that read 'OPEN', and there was still no one around. i stood there as i looked around and called out, "hello? anyone here?"

nobody answered.

i sighed as i looked on the counter and saw a little bell with a sign that read, 'ring bell for assistance.' i rang the bell and about a minute later, a girl walked out from behind a curtain behind the counter.

"hi! i'm so sorry that i just came now! there was a big paint spill downstairs that i was just cleaning up. i hope you weren't waiting too long." the girl said in an apologetic tone as she sent me a meager smile. she didn't look familiar which was weird because i knew everyone in this town, i guess she had just moved here.

i was at a loss for words as i looked down at her, she was beautiful. she had long, wavy brown hair that shaped her face so perfectly and bright, ocean blue eyes that looked very inviting as she giggled quietly; probably at me because i was so flustered. she was short, but not too short. she was the perfect height. she looked about eighteen also, my age.

since i hadn't said anything and didn't know if i physically could, i just smiled at her, hoping she didn't think of me as more awkward as i was acting.

"just the hot dog buns then?" she asked me with a polite smile.

"uh- uhm yeah." i laughed.

she looked up at me shocked, "oh, so he can talk." she teased as she scanned the price code on the bag of the hot dog buns.

my cheeks turned slightly pink as i looked at my hands that rested on the counter before looking back up to meet her eyes, "yes, Sam. i can talk." i said with just a bit more confidence in my voice as i placed a five dollar bill on the counter.

"how do you know my name?" she asked me incredulously with her eyebrows furrowed.

my eyes moved down her neck and to the small name tag on her chest, "name tag." i said, simply with a smile.

she looked down at her name tag and instantly turned pink. "oh, true," she laughed and covered her face in her hands in embarrassment. "sorry."

i laughed myself, "don't be."

she removed her hands from her face as she handed me the bag of hot dog buns in a grocery bag with a receipt inside, "i- uh just moved here last week with my family so, sorry if i sound a bit out of sorts. i'm originally from texas. not all too different from here but there still is a difference." she explained, shyly.

i took the bag from her and thanked her as i walked toward the exit of the store. "i guess i'll be seeing you around then, Dallas." i teased.

"i'm from houston." she smirked.

i just chuckled. touché.

"i never got your name?" she called out.

"Logan. my name's Logan."

after that day, i had began seeing Sam everywhere; at the mall all alone while i was with my friends, the infamous coffee shop i always go to, the library and even the grocery store. i mean, i wasn't shocked. woodhurst is a very small town, where everyone knew each other so it wasn't hard to see each other practically everywhere. it's kind of a cool thing, actually.

when i would see her, we would usually either smile and wave at each other or even start a conversation. and little by little we became friends and eventually, inseparable.

we did everything together and grew really close; whether it was going to a ball game, or pool parties or to go see a movie. she became really good friends with my friends too so she was starting to get used to life in woodhurst better.

-

august 13, 1989.

that very day was the most defining day that summer. i had kissed her and told her i liked her romantically and she had reciprocated those feelings. it was nightfall, and we were currently in my favourite spot overlooking a whole city just by woodhurst.

this was my first time bringing someone up to the cliff that i oh-so-often went to. this cliff was my place where i got to be alone, and i felt very vulnerable to bring her there but she loved it. we were sat on a plaid blanket as we overlooked the city and gazed at the stars illuminating the sky.

i was not only mesmerized by the beautiful landscape, but the even more beautiful girl that sat beside me.

i heard a quote once that read, "'i like the night. without the dark, we'd never see the stars.'" but that was not true, for me anyways, because i definitely could see the infinite amount of radiant stars that shone through the eyes of my only love.

i had thought that i would never be able to ever lose the sight of the illuminating stars in her eyes but i could see them start to flicker and grow dimmer by every passing day. i could tell she had something to tell me three weeks after that incredible night and that it was slowly killing her. i could tell by her eyes.

she was leaving again.

she had told me in the beginning of our friendship that her family moved around a lot because of her dad's job but i somehow never figured that one of these days, she would have to leave woodhurst; me.

she hugged me tightly, like her life depended on it with fresh tears in her eyes. i didn't want her to leave me nor did she want to leave me. my arms tightened around her as tears began to form in my own eyes, i squeezed them shut. as tight as i could, hoping that when i opened them again this would just be one sick nightmare.

but when i opened them again, nothing had changed and my heart was still sunken low inside my chest.

she told me she loved me but i couldn't say it back. not because i didn't love her, but because i knew that that would be our lasting words to each other with nothing left after that. she was moving across the country, and i knew that we would never have a chance. as much as she wanted to stay with me, she knew she'd miss her family all too much and i couldn't hold her back on that.

i watched her as she backed away from me slowly, cupping my cheek with her frail hand and wiping away a few fallen tears.

"i will never forget you." i whispered.

"i know," she replied, her voice cracking a bit. "i won't either."

"i know." i replied and my skin on my cheek felt cold once she removed her hand from it and made her way, sorrowfully to her car.

her dad closed her door behind her and gave me a nod that told me, 'i'm sorry' and 'take care.'

i nodded back at him as i looked at Sam through the window at the back of their car and she looked back at me.

she sent me a small smile, but i knew it was a bit forced. i sent her one back myself as her car began to drive farther and farther away from it's original spot, leaving me alone in her driveway with my broken heart.

-

did i love her? i mean, i know i never said it to her but i could tell she didn't need me to say it; she already knew. but love, that wasn't a strong enough word to describe the feelings i had toward her. it was more of an admiration for her on a grander scale.

i admired the way her hair would fall in front of her face and she wouldn't dream to to fix it because she was "too lazy to". i admired the way she would clap and tilt her head all the way back so carelessly when someone uttered a joke she found absolutely hilarious. i admired the way her eyebrows furrowed in the most adorable way possible whenever she was in a dire need to concentrate. i admired her when she attempted to hold a straight face when she was mad at you, but i knew i could always make her crack. but most of all, i admired her for being herself.

you may now be thinking, two months is not a long time. how could i have fallen in love with her so quickly and that deeply? well, for me, our time together lasted a lifetime.