On my final inch closer to her, I lingered, feeling the warmth of Mia's light breaths against my lips. My heart thumped wildly away, so overwhelmed by anticipation. 

This was truly going to happen. After all these years, Mia Collins was going to kiss me. She was forever going to go down as my first real kiss.

Just as Mia's eyes were fluttering closed, the door to my room let out a click before it suddenly burst open. 

I barely got a chance to get my wits together before I heard a sharp gasp. "Jesus Christ!" A feminine voice cried out in shock.

Mia and I both jumped in surprise, nearly knocking heads. Mia's eyes sprung wide, and she muttered out some kind of profanity before pushing me back hard. Not accepting the movement, I rolled off of her roughly and landed off to the side of her with a thudded bounce.

Irritated, I snapped my head over to the door to see what had just ruined the luckiest, and let's face it, what was going to be the best moment of my life. My irritation soon shifted to horror as I found my mum staring down at the two of us on my bed with a highly raised brow.

"I see you guys are very busy studying," she snapped sarcastically.

Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit.

Realizing that I was in deep trouble if I couldn't figure out an explanation for why I was on top of Mia and fast, I coughed awkwardly and sat up.

"Yeah, we were just taking a break, I was-" I paused and scanned the room for inspiration. Think, Ethan, think. Why would you be on top of her? Why would you be on top of- "-I was showing Mia some judo moves," I finished with a nervous laugh after spotting one of my old judo belts in the corner.

I knew it was a pretty shitty excuse, but it beat telling what I really was going to do.

From beside me, I saw Mia start to vigorously nod her head in agreement, clearly as desperate for an excuse as I was.

"Wow," my mum said, letting out an incredulous breath of laughter. "Judo certainly looks a lot more intimate than I remember. Do you put your face that close to all your male opponents too Ethan, or is Mia just a special case?" She teased, her eyebrow raising interrogatively.

Feeling my face burn up at her words, I froze and dipped my gaze away from her. One of the things that always annoyed me about my mum was that she could always see right through me. She and I both knew that the last thing I'd had on my mind was teaching Mia to fight. Quite the opposite.

"Well...," I drawled as I awkwardly scratched the back of my neck. "I might not have been practicing it in the exact same way I normally do," I mumbled, still unable to hold her gaze.

My mum's eyebrow merely plucked up higher as a silent way of saying: 'Why the fuck are you even still trying.'

After a couple silent seconds of all of us just staring at each other, my mum finally cleared her throat. Turning to Mia, she smiled. "Well, anyway, the reason I came up here was to ask if Mia wanted to stay for dinner?"

"Are you sure?" Mia asked hesitantly. "I wouldn't want to intrude on your family dinner."

My mum laughed. "No, don't be silly; I'd love for you to stay. I have so many questions to ask you," she said, taking her gaze off Mia to send me a mischievous glance.

My eyes flew wider open in a panic. "No!" I said quickly. "No questions, Mum. You'll ask her nothing," I snapped in warning.

 I wasn't stupid. I knew the look in my mum's eyes meant trouble. She had been dying to meet Mia for years. I swear if I left them in a room alone together, she'd likely start reminiscing about all the shitting embarrassing crap I used to say about Mia. 

Okay, fine, embarrassing crap, I still said about Mia....

To put it into context, the woman used to help me write anonymous valentine's day cards to Mia. For years... She was basically packed and loaded with my humiliation at this point.

Mia sent me a funny look from the corner of my eyes, only making me more nervous.

Great, now I'd only made it more obvious...

My mum just playfully rolled her eyes at me and laughed before turning to leave. "I'll call you downstairs in an hour or so, okay guys," she called out over her shoulder. 

"Oh," she said, turning back suddenly. "Leave the door open. I don't want you guys practicing judo behind closed doors," she smirked.

 I nearly choked. Then to further drive home her point, she propped open my door behind her, shot me one more final pointed look before turning to leave.

As soon as she was gone, I felt shame immerse me. There was no doubt about it; my mum knew exactly what I was up to. Or, well, was going to be up to if she hadn't so rudely interrupted.

 I swear to God, if she hassles me at age thirty about why I'm single and still pining over Mia (which let's face it, is probably going to happen), I'm going to remind her of this exact moment.

My thoughts were interrupted as Mia let out a long whine of a groan before flopping down face-first onto my pillow and proceeding to scream into it. The action made me freeze a little, having a depressing theory as to why she was so upset. 

It was simple really - she was embarrassed she hadn't moved away. She was embarrassed that she was going to let someone like me kiss her? I mean, she had to be. For goodness' sake - just the other day, she'd flat out told me she thought it would be disgusting to kiss me.

To ease my nerves, I scratched the back of my neck before shyly looking her way. "Well, that was an awkward time for her to walk in," I chuckled, hoping to break the uncomfortable silence.

Mia slowly peeled her face off my pillow and sat up before looking me over with wide and nervous eyes. But they were far more than nervous eyes; she looked humiliated. Her cheeks were slightly coloured, and her eyes moved wild and frantic.

"Look," she started, hardly able to maintain my gaze. "What just happened a couple of minutes ago...was extremely weird, so please can we agree to not ever speak of it again," she mumbled, her eyes working over mine in an almost pleading desperation.

An instant hard knot formed within my throat because here it was – my first flat-out rejection. I knew it was coming, but there was something about actually hearing it out loud that made it hurt so much worse. And the way she was looking at me right now, so desperate and embarrassed, only made it sting all that much worse. 

What she was saying without words was: 'I think it's embarrassing to kiss you.'

Swallowing the hardened lump away, I slowly nodded my head in what must have looked like a robotic fashion. I knew I probably looked like the shittest actor alive, but there's only so good you can be when you're really hurt. 

"Yeah, yeah, of course, Mia," I mumbled before forcing my face into a barely-there, tight-lipped smile.

Mia instantly let out a big sigh of relief and smiled, clearly happy that she'd never have to think about our almost kiss again. But the most pathetic thing of all was that I knew I'd never forget. As much as she hated it, I knew I was never going to forget the day, where for a split-second, Mia Collins was almost going to kiss me.

 Letting out a light laugh, her smile grew broader. "Now, let's actually get to studying," she said.

Picking away at my food, I let my mind wander off into a meaningless silence. It was a few minutes into dinner, and like usual, my mum and brother sat across from me. However, this time, the chair beside me wasn't empty – instead, Mia sat in it. 

And the more I thought about it, the more freaked out I felt. Ever since we'd sat down, I couldn't seem to stop myself from sneaking little glances at her, like she was just going to disappear. It sounded kind of silly, but something as simple as having Mia stay over for dinner was something that seemed like it was never going to happen.

Suddenly, Mia giggled before politely covering her mouth a little. Following her gaze across the table, I saw Dylan relentlessly stabbing at his pork chop in what I feared was an attempt to cut it.

Plucking up an amused eyebrow at him, I shook my head with a smile. "Let me help you, buddy," I mumbled as I reached across for his plate. Deciding to save him the trouble, I cut the food into little, bite-size pieces for him.

Rather oddly, I felt Mia's heated gaze against the side of my face as I finished the last of my cutting. And even more peculiar, I could see that she was smiling softly.

  Hold on – was she into this?

I let the idea play on my mind for about a second before the bitchy part of my brain reminded me that less than an hour ago, Mia had flat out rejected me. And just like that, the miserable feelings returned.

"Yay, thanks, Ethan," Dylan called back as I softly returned his plate.

I tried to focus back on chewing on my food and not on Mia. However, that proved very hard to do since Mia kept shooting quick but curious glances at me every ten seconds or so.

What the fuck was she thinking?

 I tried to relax back on my chair and seem nonchalant, but inside, I felt like I was in a full-blown panic. She was figuring out I like her – that had to be it. She was slowly putting together the pieces of all my present, and past actions, and realizing how much of a desperate freak I was. I mean, I had literally tried to kiss her an hour ago and didn't even come up with an excuse. This was awful.

Now, she was probably scared of me and thinking up ways to break off all ties with me. I couldn't say I blame her. Who'd want to hang out with an annoying boy who had an unrequited thing for you since middle school?

"Mia, are you alright? You look a little ill," My mum asked suddenly, staring at Mia through deeply concerned eyes. 

My mother's question only confirmed my fears. Attempting to kiss Mia had legitimately made her feel ill. 

This was great, wonderful, even.

"Erm, no, I'm fine, just a little tired," Mia said dismissively. However, her avoidance of eye contact only further proved the problem was me.

"Ethan, poppet, staring at Mia for that long isn't very polite," my mother chastised. I gave my mother a deadened look, knowing once again, she was purposely trying to embarrass me. It was beyond me why she had to point out I was staring at Mia.

"Stop calling me poppet, mum," I mumbled bitterly under my breath.

My mum just ignored me and turned back to Mia with a smile. "So, is this your first time at our house Mia?" she asked conversationally.

Mia opened her mouth to answer, but Dylan seemed to beat her to it. "Yeah, mummy, Mia comes here all the time. I like her so much. She's so funny and pretty and plays so many video games with me. And she's way better at them than Ethan," he said, pointing at me with a giggle.

His words cheered me up a little, and my mouth twitched as I fought back a smile. Though I agreed with him, I knew I had to protect my pride. "Debatable," I spat out in between a muffled cough as I shot Mia a cheeky look.

I got the reaction I was hoping for, and Mia shot me a playfully spirited glare.

Dylan, clearly not done with talking, turned back to my mum. "But we can never play for more than an hour before Ethan drags her upstairs with him so they can study," Dylan spat out in disgust.

My heart stopped a little as I realized just how he'd made that sound. 

"They study so much! It's so annoying. And Lucas said I should never bother them unless I knock loudly," Dylan mumbled with a pout.

Nearly choking on my food, I immediately stopped chewing, as did Mia. It was confirmed now – I was fucked. 

My mum was going to kill me. Considering what my mum had previously just walked in on, this sounded the definition of bad. It sounded like I was hooking up with her every day in my room, and then getting Lucas to cover. I mean, I wish I was, but that certainly wasn't happening.

I coughed awkwardly, like an idiot, hoping this would miraculously distract my mum.

Then, the dreaded happened, and my mum turned to face me with horror movie-like slowness. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. Don't say-

"I'm guessing there was some judo practice up there as well," my mum said sassily.

Then with those final words, I knew it was all over for me. Mia seemed to agree and let out a long-pained groan before sinking a little lower down in her chair.

It was official – I was going to kill Lucas.

----------------------

"Look, dude, I still don't get how it's my fault that your mum thinks you're fucking Mia. It's obviously Dylan's fault," Lucas scoffed as we rounded the corner of the school corridor.

We were on our way to Lunch, and I was trying my best to explain to Lucas why he had nearly ruined my life yesterday.

"You literally told Dylan not to bother us unless he knocks loudly!" I stammered out hysterically.

Lucas paused. "Oh, yeah, forgot about that," he snorted, seeming entirely unapologetic. "But in my defense, I was trying to do you a favor. Do you want little Dylan walking in and being traumatized for the rest of his life? And besides, I stopped him from cock-blocking you. You should be thanking me."

"Thanking you?" I laughed. "You're lucky I'm not killing you. Mum interrogated the shit out of me last night because of you."

Lucas pulled a face. "Ooph, what'd she say?" he winced.

"Well," I laughed. "She thinks I'd been hooking up with Mia since that time she caught Mia sneaking into my bedroom window. And despite the amount of time I denied and told her that was ridiculous, she still drove me to the supermarket and bought a shit ton of condoms that I'll never use," I scoffed. 

"Then, when we got home, she threatened to try and contact Mia's mum so she could tell her to put her daughter on birth control if she wasn't already."

Lucas's eyebrows flew up and though fighting it he looked like he wanted to laugh. "Did she actually do it?"

"Well, no," I snapped. "But that was only after, I showed her my text conversations with Mia and proved how often she rejects any of my advances. So, yeah, long story short, I had an awful evening," I grumbled.

Lucas, always being the annoying optimistic, just smiled. "Well, I guess it's lucky for you that my party's going to cheer you up tonight, hmm?" he said while waggling his eyebrows.

"How's it going to cheer me up?"

"Simple," Lucas smiled. "I'm going to prove to you that Mia's into you."

I nearly laughed. "Into me?" I snorted. "Lucas, she looked traumatized after I almost kissed her and then begged me into silence."

Lucas plucked up a simple brow. "Didn't you say she hovered around your face for several seconds before you went in to kiss her? Doesn't sound like she was that traumatized to me," he scoffed. "Remember, Ethan, actions speak louder than words."

"Yeah, but there's such a thing as a mistake," I mumbled, not really trusting his words.

"Come on, man, you've got to trust me. I've got a plan. And this is part one," Lucas said with a smile as he pushed our way through the cafeteria doors.

I walked in confusion with him across the cafeteria, and it was only as I looked off in the distance, did I realize he was heading right for Mia's table. Though still riddling with anxiousness after last night, I couldn't help but feel a little intrigued, figuring Lucas had come over to ask them to his party.

"Afternoon, ladies," Lucas sang out in song as we came to a stop by their table.

 They all broke conversation, and suddenly three pairs of variably confused eyes were all on us. As I caught Mia's eyes, her eyes seemed to widen by a fraction as though panicked before immediately swerving her gaze away from me.

Great going, Ethan, now thanks to yesterday, she is literally scared of you....

Lucas, not one for being shy, plopped himself down on the seat beside May with a contented sigh like he deserved no lesser seat. May, narrowed her eyes into slits as she watched him, causing Mia to laugh a little.

It brought a smile to my face, but once Mia caught my gaze, her smile kind of dropped. Though it kind of hurt, I pretended it didn't bother me, and continued on a casual path around the table and slid into the chair beside her.

I felt Mia stiffen beside me, making me feel further like a freak.

My worries were interrupted as May cleared her throat. "No offense, but why are you two idiots sitting here?" May spat out bluntly. Chloe let out an amused little snort, clearly entertained by her friend's joke.

 Lucas just brushed off the insult with an absentminded chuckle. "You have such a delicate way with words, don't you red?" Lucas teased. "Well, firstly, I came over because I like annoying you," Lucas smiled. Then being the absolute moron that he was, he leaned over and bopped her on the nose.

May let out an aggravated sound, and my eyes widened as I saw her attempt to bite his finger.

 As though expecting the attack, Lucas just kept on talking. "And secondly, because we wanted to invite you guys to the party I'm hosting tonight," Lucas said with a grin.

"Ooo, a chance to trash your house and eat your food wouldn't miss it," May said, smirking evilly.

Lucas eyed her warily. "Erm...I wasn't exactly permitting you to trash my house, but sure if that's what gets you to come, then whatever," he shrugged.

"Not that I care if you come or not," Lucas added quickly as an afterthought.

My mouth slid into a smirk. "Nice save," I snorted, unable to help myself. Lucas glared at me, clearly annoyed at me for drawing attention to his slip up.

"Yeah, I'm in," Chloe called out with a happy smile.

I smiled at her before turning to Mia and waited for her to also agree. But she didn't; she just sat there.

"What about you, Chubs?" I probed curiously.

 Not even daring to look my way, Mia just did a little dismissive shrug. "I've got a lot of work...," she murmured, still staring forward.

Knowing that wasn't the real reason, I stubbornly persisted. "Come on, Mia, I'll be there....," I sang playfully as I gave her a teasing nudge on the shoulder. 

I was well aware that the reason she didn't want to come was because of me, but still, I was hoping my cockiness would make her crack at least a smile.

With a snort, Mia turned to face me with a teasing light to her eyes. "And that's supposed to be a good selling point," she mused, her brows arching into a perfect arch.

Happy to see her more at ease with me again, my smile grew broader. "Well, of course, it is," I said.

Mia seemed to pause a little and stared at me in that same strange manner she had yesterday evening. Finally, she broke eye contact and awkwardly coughed. "I'll think about it," she finally said.

-----------------------

Taking another small sip of my drink, I leaned my back deeper into the kitchen counter behind me and tried to focus better on my friend's conversation. It was about an hour into Lucas's party, and though not the largest party around, it was already quite loud with energetic beats breaking out through the speakers and the occasional cheer from someone likely tied up in some drinking game.

 Lucas had wandered off a while ago to greet people at the door. So, to amuse myself in his absence, I decided to hang out with the soccer guys in the kitchen.

Not long ago, I had done a shameful little prowl around the house in search of Mia, but I soon gave up, realizing she probably wasn't coming. I mean, why would she? I'd made it embarrassingly obvious that I was way too into her, and now she was rightfully scared of me.

"Hey," Nick said beside me as he nudged my shoulder. 

"Hmm," I murmured, pulled into attention. 

He pointed a finger to the glass window that overlooked the living room. "It's official; we've found someone who sucks more at flirting than you," he snickered. 

Focusing forward, I let out a loud snort before losing it altogether as I saw Lucas dancing rather violently near May to get her attention. 

It was clear he'd left his door keeping duties for what he deemed a more important task...

As I recovered from my laughter, I did a loose scan around the kitchen. There was nobody really here of interest, just two girls chatting and laughing, a boy pouring drinks, Mia walking in looking irresistibly sexy, and-

Suddenly, I found myself choking as my mind fully registered what I just saw. Whipping my head back fast, I went straight back to staring at Mia. Then, my eyes flew open wide as I shamelessly scanned her from head to toe over and over and over again. 

Mia in a shirt and baggy jeans was enough to do it for me, so right now, as she stood before me in the most beautiful figure-hugging dress I'd ever seen, I didn't even know what to do with myself. 

 I mean, fuck did I know what I wanted to do to her, but whether I was allowed to do that was another thing. My heart was pretty much beating through my throat, and I could feel a weird pulsating knot in my stomach growing stronger and stronger with each second more I looked.

 Thickly swallowing, I found my fingers curling painfully into the side of my arm as I tried to control myself from thinking some thoughts, I damn well knew I shouldn't be thinking.

Feeling the urge to say something, my lips fumbled to form shapes, but I couldn't even seem to say anything. I mean, what could I say? Please jump on top of me?

Finally, I made my way back to Mia's big brown doe eyes that were softly holding my gaze in that irresistible way of hers. So overwhelmed, all I could do was stare. 

 "Holy fuck," I finally murmured. 

----------------------

Author's note:

So, yeah that's chapter twenty done, and god did they take a long time to write. 

But yeah, anyway hope you enjoyed.

Also I'm back studying full time at uni, so please, please don't bother me for an update. I apologize to the most of you that constantly have to hear me moan on about this, but there's always, always a few people who just think I'm a writing robot. I'm not lol, I'm a person. 

Anyway, can't wait to bring a chapter as soon as I can xx