I had spent the last four hours of my life stalking the crap out of Ben. I was trying to collect all the information I could get on him so I could hate him even more than I already did. Yes, you don't have to tell me – I was nuts.

It had been a week since the big blowout with Mia and Ben, and I hadn't been coping well. Not even slightly close to well.

It was killing me not talking to Mia. It was the longest I'd ever gone without talking to her. Even in summer break, I'd usually at least message her annoying stuff over whichever platform she hadn't blocked me on. And she normally replied – she never could resist getting in her next snappy comment.

My stomach tied itself into tighter knots as I realized it would probably be a long time since I'd ever hear from her again.

Not now she had Ben.

For the millionth time this weekend, my brain then decided to plague me with more horrifying mental images of Mia wrapped up in Ben's lap. With Ben's lips on her neck.

I'd spent all weekend stuck up in my room, and I was absolutely miserable. I did a bit of homework and such, but not much; even that I found hard to concentrate on. All my mind seemed to want to think about was Mia and Ben. Wondering if he'd ask her out. Wondering if she said yes. And most importantly, wondering how I was going to be able to control myself when I finally saw them together officially.

I'd managed to avoid it so far – and I wanted it to stay that way. I'd come to terms with the fact that I couldn't just punch him in the face just for liking her. After all, liking her, was a ridiculously easy thing to do – too easy; trust me. But just because I couldn't punch him, didn't mean I couldn't hate him. Who wouldn't hate someone who could effortlessly get what you always wanted?

Slouching even deeper against the back of my bed rest I continued to bitterly scroll my way down Ben's Instagram page with a scowl on my face. It was how I had been spending my entire morning so far – I hadn't even gotten out of bed yet. My duvet was still snugly wrapped around me, and since there was no school today and I wasn't due for therapy until five, I had no motivation to move.

I glared at the next picture that came up on his page. It was beyond me what she saw in him. I was so much hotter than him – couldn't she see that? Was it the dumb fucking ponytail she liked? Or the blonde hair-perhaps?

That would make the most sense; considering she always had a thing for blondes even back in middle school.

The sound of knocking interrupted my thoughts. "Ethan, can I come in?" My mum called out through the door.

I let out a heavy sigh, feeling too bitter for company. "Yes," I mumbled, knowing she would likely come in whether I said yes or not.

After Mia's 'break in' through my window, she'd got it in her head that I might sneak her in at night. Considering Mia now hated my guts and liked someone else – the chance of that happening was laughable.

The door broke open, and my mum marched in with her lounge clothes and a loose smile on her face. She loosely scanned the interior of my room before stopping as she landed on my figure, recoiled back with half my covers messily thrown over me.

I probably looked a sight with my hair all sticking out at bad angles, and the dark bags that likely lay under my eyes. I hadn't been sleeping well. Not at all. Between obsessing over my helpless situation with Mia, I'd been having frequent dreams of ending up in prison; of my anger taking over, and more. It had all felt so real.

My mum's eyes fell a little as she locked eyes with me. "Ethan, it's nearly twelve, this is ridiculous!" she muttered in frustration. "I know you and Mia had a little fight, but you can't just sulk around."

I nearly laughed in bitterness at the way she phrased it. I wish this was a little fight – far from it. I had fucked up big time by punching Ben right after ignoring her. My mum was far from impressed when I told her about it, and so was Gina, my therapist. They were all disappointed.

"I'm not; I'm just watching TV and stuff," I lied, hoping it would get her off my back. I thought it best not to mention that I'd been stalking Mia's future boyfriend for hours. It wouldn't have made me look the sanest.

My mum raised a sassy brow, in the way she did when she knew I was chatting bullshit. "Sure," she snapped as she looked me up and down.

"Well, since you're just watching TV, why don't you get some fresh air by taking your brother to the park?" she suggested.

I rolled my eyes at the suggestion and let out a groan. "Seriously? Can't I just-"

"Dylan," she yelled out loudly. "Your brother's taking you to the park. Get your shoes on he'll meet you by the door."

Realizing all hope was lost, I heard a loud banging sound from the room across the hall, followed by quick small footsteps hurling themselves down the stairs.

My mum smiled at me boastfully before gliding, or more accurately skipping over to the door. "Best hurry up, Ethan," she chuckled.

I glared at her retreating figure and then at the closing door. Great, just fucking great.

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"Wait, Dylan, hold my hand and we're going to wait here until it's safe," I said quickly as we approached the pedestrian lights.

Dylan slowed down to a stop and nodded with a smile before sliding his little hand into mine. His hand was warm and clammy as expected for someone his age, but I didn't really mind.

After my mum threw me under the bus earlier, I'd driven Dylan and me out to the big local park. It wasn't that I didn't want to hang out with Dylan. I love him, of course, he was hilarious and my little brother. It could just be pressurizing to hang out with little kids because you have to always pretend, you're happy even when you're not.

"Press that little button, and we'll wait for the little walking man to appear on the screen, okay," I said as I looked down at him with a smile.

"Okay," Dylan nodded before reaching out to clumsily press the traffic light button.

"Ethan?" Dylan suddenly called out slowly before turning to look up at me with his bright blue eyes. "Yes," I smiled as I looked down at him.

"Why do you seem sad?" he asked boldly.

My heart sunk inwards, as I realized my little fake happy act, was so terrible that even a six-year-old could see through it.

"No, I'm not sad Dylan, I was just thinking," I lied quickly.

"But-" he started.

"Hey, look, the man's appeared, why don't we cross," I said hoping to change the subject. Then squeezing his little hand, I led him across the road.

"Come on this way," I said with a smile as I started to make my way up the path to the park.

"Ethan?" Dylan asked again, as he skipped along beside me.

Oh god, not again.

"Hmm, yes?" I mumbled.

"Why didn't Mia come around to our house this week? She always comes. Can't you invite her? " he asked while blinking up at me.

I went silent once again and averted my eyes from his to stare at the floor.

"She's just busy, that's all," I explained while forcing a smile.

"Oh," was all Dylan said, though the disappointment on his face was visible. It was clear that missing Mia Collins was something all Blythe boys had in common.

It made me uncomfortable knowing I was going to have to eventually tell him Mia was never coming back.

I was so absorbed in thought, that I hadn't realized how deep we had already walked into the park before Dylan's hand suddenly ripped free from mine. I looked down in confusion before suddenly seeing Dylan run off into the distance toward the edge of the playground.

"Wait, Dylan," I called back.

Ignoring me, he kept pressing on, his little legs taking him as fast as they could – which was pretty fast for a six-year-old; I must admit. Rolling my eyes in frustration, I pushed myself off the ground and jogged my way after him.

I could hear him yelling out something in the distance as he ran but his voice got caught away by the wind, making it hard to make out. It sounded like Mia – but I was sure my psychotic brain was for sure making that one up.

Dylan finally came to a stop and started eagerly blabbering to someone on a bench that I couldn't see from my angle. Clearly, all those warning lessons I gave him about strangers had gone to shit.

"Dylan, wait up," I called out again as I slowed the pace of my jog. Seeing the rascal's back was still to me, I decided to teach him a lesson, and with a smile, I grabbed him and lifted him into the air.

Dylan squealed in excitement and started laughing. I flipped him upside down in the way he always loved as he laughed, causing all his hair to fly down away from his face. I chuckled, a natural smile lifting to my face as I finally turned him the right way up, and lowered him to his feet. The sight of Dylan laughing would never not be cute.

I ruffled his hair. "You cheeky little devil, don't run off."

Suddenly noticing the weight of someone's eyes on me, I remembered someone was still sitting on the bench, and finally looked up. I was about to politely acknowledge them, but my heart stopped altogether as I found myself looking into the eyes of Mia Collins.

Not at all expecting her, my heart bounced rapidly around in my chest at the sight of her alone. Then slowly the painful memories of her and Ben returned in full force and graphics, and like that my smile slipped slowly off my face until it was nothing.

The loose smile that had been resting on her face equally faded away as she watched my reaction, and her eyes fell a little. She swallowed thickly as though it was painful before looking down at her lap and staring at it for far too long. I felt guilty as I watched her knowing I was making her feel uncomfortable.

Realizing too much time had gone past with neither one of us saying anything, I waited for her to return my gaze before greeting her with an awkward nod. A nod, seriously, Ethan?

She forced a smile in response. It was obviously forced – I had memorized her real smile and this one looked nothing like it.

It was obvious she hated me. I had punched her new boyfriend like a pyscho after ignoring her for days.

I cleared my throat. "So...erm...why are you just sitting here?" I asked as I eyed her position on the bench with mild confusion. I noticed now that she also had a book in her hand, making my question feel that much more stupid.

"Oh right," she said, flashing a weak smile. "I'm babysitting my little cousin. He's somewhere over there," she said as waved her hand off toward the direction of the playground. From the looks of it, she didn't seem too fussed at the exact location of this child.

I nodded slightly. If things were normal between us – I would have made some kind of joke about how attentive of a babysitter she seemed to be. But I remained quiet.

An awkward silence filled the air as we continued to stare at each other, neither one of us carrying on the conversation.

Dylan, clearly sensing the uncomfortable tension, turned around and ran off toward the direction of the playground without a word. Great, our awkwardness was scaring children.

Not sure what to do with myself now that he was gone, I looked awkwardly over to Dylan who was getting himself onto a swing, and then back to Mia on the bench.

I put my hands in my pockets and cleared my throat before eyeing the place beside her on the bench.

"Mind if I sit there?" I asked.

The words flew from my mouth before I could stop them, they weren't planned in the slightest. I shouldn't have asked to sit beside her, but I was weak.

I begged myself to take back my words and go with the safer option of helping to push Dylan on the swings, but I didn't. With those stupid large brown eyes of hers staring right back at me, it was hard to keep my mind straight.

Mia's eyes widened slightly. "Erm, yeah, yeah, sure, of course," she stammered in obvious surprise before quickly sliding over to one side of the bench to make space for me.

Figuring it was too late to go back now, I looked her up and down one more time before turning to sit down beside her. As I did, my leg accidentally brushed against her bare legs causing a stupid electrical sensation to run up and down my thigh.

There was a lot more space on my side of the bench and I think both of us knew it. It was easier to pretend that I hadn't brushed her leg on purpose and that I was oblivious to how close she was.

It was all lies - I was all too aware of how close she was to me, and even more so aware of every adjustment she made as she shifted her leg against mine.

Mia went back to reading her book quickly enough, and I was left staring out at the playground. I pathetically tried to steal glances at her a few times, from the slight corner of my eye. It was a natural response when someone like her sat beside you. It made me a mixture of mad and frustrated that she had decided today of all days to look extra cute with her short jean skirt and her dark hair all beautifully pinned back.

The least she could do was help me out by looking a little less appealing today. It was like she was trying to mock me about what I couldn't have.

The silence between us continued on until Mia sharply closed her book before turning to look my way with a light smile. She became pretty close as she turned, and like lightning, my eyes sprang down to her lips, and I thought back to when I kissed her.

"You know, you're lucky your little brother is so cute because not all six-year-olds are. My cousin is six, and he's the spawn of the devil," she laughed, interrupting my train of thought.

Unable to stop it, my lips raised slightly, amused at Mia's forever dramatics. "I'm sure he's not that bad," I muttered quietly.

"Ha, yeah sure," she laughed stiffly. "Just wait until you meet him. I promise you; you'll change your mind."

The second the words left her mouth, a chorus of high-pitched screams echoed from the direction of the playground causing both of us to look up in surprise.

Mia let out a long-pained groan as she locked on to something in the distance. Following along to where she was looking, I saw a little boy of about six -years old, running around by the swings with a dollop of what I was pretty sure was dog shit in his hands.

If my hunch was correct, I was pretty sure he was trying to throw it at random kids for absolutely no reason. It came as an instant relief to discover Dylan was nowhere near this weird little boy.

"For fucks sake," Mia muttered under her breath as he continued to stare horrified at the scene.

Making the connection that this must be the famous cousin she was talking about, I immediately burst into laughter. "I'm guessing that's him," I chuckled as I nodded my head over to the boy. Clearly, Mia hadn't been exaggerating, this boy genuinely was a menace.

"Unfortunately," she sighed.

I looked back at her cousin, then amusedly back at her. "Well, aren't you going to go get him?" I laughed.

Mia let out a light snort. "I probably should, but I'm not."

I cracked a small grin at her response, finding it hilarious that her plan seemed to be to pretend he didn't exist. That was my Mia for you.

Ben's Mia - my brain corrected me.

My smile instantly slipped at the thought, and once again my mind plagued me with more images of her and Ben holding each other. And just like that, my bitterness returned.

"Can I ask you something, Mia?" I asked, the words leaving my mouth before I could stop them.

Looking over at me curiously, Mia nodded her head.

"Why do you like Ben?" I finally asked, still staring forward. I tried to keep my tone casual but even I could hear the tension dripping from my tone.

There was a pause before she answered. "I don't," she finally said.

My head immediately jumped up in surprise to look at her, shocked to hear her statement. She didn't like him? How was that possible.

"Sure, I like him as a friend-" Mia continued. "-but not in the way you're thinking. Ben's not my type," she explained with a simple shrug.

My heart squeezed in hope, but then I stopped myself, realizing she was obviously lying again. It was obvious from seeing them together that she liked him.

Feelings of hurt resurfaced causing a bitter laugh to escape my lips. "So, you just sit on anyone's lap, do you?"

I regretted it as soon as I said it, knowing I was losing my temper at her unfairly.

Mia looked away from me before letting out a heavy sigh. "Ethan, I have to tell you something...," she mumbled before slowly returning back to meet my gaze. She seemed nervous, and a little embarrassed for some reason and kept fidgeting excessively on the end of the bench.

"None of what you saw was real," she finally said, the strength in her eyes softening. There was another fidget with her hand. "I knew you were watching, and....and I was trying to make you mad. I just wanted you to talk to me again -," she paused to swallow hard. "And messing around with someone you hated seemed like a pretty good way to get your attention," she confessed.

Once done, she looked down at her lap and her face contorted as though cringing over what she had just said.

Feeling like reality had done a complete one-eighty on me, I sat staring at Mia in complete silence as I truly processed everything she had said.

She had faked it. That lunchtime with Ben had been one big setup to get me to talk to her. And...oh shit.

Tension eased from my body, and all hurt and anger drifted into the most beautiful glass of relief, and well...a little embarrassment if I was being entirely honest. I had spent hours of my life stalking this guy, after all.

"Oh," I finally said simply, and probably a little dumbly. More silence ensued.

Finally, I let out a light snort. "Well, you definitely succeeded in making me mad, that's for sure," I admitted honestly. 'Making me mad', might have been putting it lightly, I had gone full-on lunatic mode on everyone. I was days away from making a damn fucking website about why I personally hated Ben. I paused on that thought, horror twisting my stomach.

"Wait a minute...," I mumbled. "Does that mean...I punched Ben in the face for no reason?" I mumbled quietly as full realization hit me. I knew it was bad to hit a guy just for liking Mia, but it was another thing entirely to hit a guy, who weirdly was trying to do you a favor.

Oh, shit.

"Erm, yes, yes, you did," Mia answered bluntly,

Groaning, I bent over a little and ran a hand down my face. "I'm such a fucking idiot."

Mia patted my back in sympathy. "Well, the first stage in recovery is admitting you're an idiot," she joked.

Realizing she was having a little too much fun at my expense, I sat up straight and narrowed my eyes at her. "He's still not entirely innocent though, he still kissed your neck," I argued childishly. It was true – whether he was helping me or not, he still didn't have to do that shit.

Mia cracked a small smile and dramatically rolled her eyes. "Relax, overprotective pants, he didn't even touch me. It just looked like he was kissing me from your angle."

Silenced by this information, I slowly realized she was right. I had never directly seen a clear shot of what he was actually doing, I just saw the back of his head. My heart jumped in relief.

"Whatever, fine, maybe I owe the bastard an apology," I admitted in a mumble.

"Maybe?" she laughed.

I cracked a smile. "Chubs, I don't know why you're acting all high and mighty, you were the little instigator," I teased.

As soon as I heard that laugh of hers break free, and felt how good it felt to finally call her Chubs again, I knew there was no way I could ignore her again. I missed her – really missed her.

Slowly her smile faded, and she suddenly started looking me up and down with slight curiosity.

"Ethan, do you seriously think I look like a twelve-year-old?" she asked abruptly.

My brows furrowed, confused why she would randomly ask me that.

"Wait, what?" I laughed. "Why the fuck would I think that you look twelve?"

It was one of the most ridiculous questions in the world. Of course, she didn't look twelve to me; that would make me the biggest fucking pedo around. I almost felt insulted that she asked.

"Isn't that why you call me Chubs?" she asked.

I stared at her stupidly for a second before remembering I always told her I called her Chubs because of her supposed 'baby face'– an obvious lie. I'd only come up with it to get back at her for making fun of me for being short when we were younger. It honestly surprised me she hadn't figured out I was lying; it was blatantly obvious I was more than attracted to her. I'd kissed her for fucks sake.

"Oh no," I finally answered with a light snort. "I just like calling you that because it pisses you off," I admitted half honestly. Then purposely looking her up and down with a smile, I decided to have a bit of fun with her. "Trust me, I don't think you look twelve at all. An ass like yours doesn't come from no twelve-year-old," I teased with a wink.

Mia's mouth dropped open almost instantly, and predicably she hit me with fierce eyes before reaching out to slap my shoulder with an increasingly reddening face. "Stop looking at my ass, you weirdo!"

Her reaction only made me laugh harder, finding it incredibly cute how easy it was to embarrass her.

Mia tried to hit me with a stern look, but I could see she was struggling to maintain it as her lips kept twitching as she tried to hold herself back from smiling.

"It's not my fault your yoga pants are so tight. Where else am I supposed to look?" I joked as I did another sweep over her figure. Well, it wasn't entirely a joke. Her leggings did make it impossibly hard not to look at her.

Mia shook her head at me in disbelief. "My face, perhaps?"

Mid rolling her eyes at me, Mia took her eyes briefly off mine to look across the playground. Suddenly, her eyes started darting around in unmistakable panic.

"Where the fuck is he?" she cried. Realizing she must be looking for her cousin, my smile fell abruptly from my face in worry, and I started also scanning the playground in search of him.

Though the kid seemed like a pain in the ass, I didn't want the little fucker to die or anything.

Suddenly, my eyes latched onto a little boy with light brown hair standing by the edge of the pond. My eyes then further widened as I saw what he was doing to the ducks. "Hey, isn't that him over there?" I asked slowly.

As soon as Mia looked in his direction, a sharp cry left her lips. And I couldn't exactly blame her. Her little cousin was after all whacking a bunch of ducks with a stick in a very swift, and clear attempt to try and drown them.

Yeah, that kid had to be a psychopath...

Mia wasted no time in pushing herself off the ground and started to sprint her way over to him. "Damien put the fucking stick down," she screamed.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, I couldn't resist cracking a smile as I heard her curse after her literal six-year-old cousin.

God, I'd missed her. 

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Author's note:

Hope you enjoyed!

What's been your favourite chapter so far in Ethan's POV?

Can't wait to share more with you soon xx