kinda based on that book with the helpline with target. but like not really. but kinda. but like eh.

normal: ethan
italics: you

☽♛☾

"hello, this is target. my name is ethan, how can i help you today?"

"so let's metaphorically say that i bought a toilet from you and when i got the toilet, it broke. what would target do?"

"...we don't sell toilets."

"that's why i asked metaphorically."

"i would metaphorically say that you would have to go somewhere else because we don't sell toilets."

"look, ethan. i don't wanna be racist or anything, but i don't like your attitude."

"that's not racist in any way."

"yeah, because i said 'not to be racist.' don't you listen?"

"i know but even if you didn't say 'not to be racist' it wouldn't have been racist."

"hence why i said 'not to be racist,' el-oh-el."

"what? that makes no-"

"okay. metaphorically speaking, lets say i buy a bike from target and when i leave the store i get hit by a taxi driver with a brown hat and yellow suit. would i be able to sue target?"

"that's strangely specific but no. it would be on the driver who hit you."

"great. you've been a lot of help, grayson."

"my name is ethan."

"yeah whatever, that's what i said."

"uh."

"okay bye."

"by-"