we're on my balcony.

he came earlier, i called him.

with blood red wine and meaningless conversations we watched as sun died. his pointless words mean so much to me.

we talk about everything, from our past and our future, our fears and hopes to what song is the best to be sung in the shower. and what song makes me cry.

he called me to see the view and as i got closer to the edge i took his hand in mine and he promised me that i wont fall.

the night is beautiful. i see it in reflection of his eyes. we are both tipsy and in love with the world.

he promised me he wouldn't let me fall but as i watch him, small freckles on his cheeks, the curve of his eyelashes, his hand holding mine, i want to tell him that he is not supposed to make promises he can't keep. that he can't change something that happened.

he promised me but i've fell a long time ago. with each of his breath, his chest rising up, with each of his words, his smiles and with him i'm falling even more. the way down is long. i don't know how i will make it, i don't know whats at the bottom.

i am scared. scared of love, scared of him. i can't control my emotions, wine gets the best of me and i feel tears warm on my cold skin. he looks at me. "look", i want to tell him, "they are falling too"

he hugs me. i get lost in his smell, lost in him. he doesn't ask questions, no, he knows me better than that. he holds me tight and tells me that it's going to be alright.

and i let myself believe him.

i let myself fall.