I watched her figure in a daze as she drew away from me. I was still trying to process her words from earlier.

Did I hate her? The answer always would be— no. Because I could not bring myself to hate her; ever.

Although I had tried with my all might- to hate her, to forget her. But I failed to do that. My love for her was much more unconditional and inevitable that my heart and soul never allowed me to truly hate her. And that is why it was even more suffocating. These feelings kept strangling me each and every moment.

From whom was I supposed to seek vengeance for my torment?

Therefore, at last, I was blaming myself. If only I had not fallen for her, then I wouldn't be left heartbroken. I started to hate myself, and I had been hating myself for falling in love with her ever since.

I let out a shriek filled with anguish, raking my hands through my hair. "You destroyed me completely, but why is everything still about you?"

"Just why?" I yelled, and my voice echoed on the deserted rooftop. The images from this morning started flashing in front of my eyes repeatedly; the way she was looking at him was something I could not unsee now.

My fists clenched tightly as my nails dug deeper into the skin of my hands. Just how easy was it for her to leave me behind and start entirely anew with someone else? Was I the only one in love? And yet, she was still crying. Just why?

I tried my best not to lose my composure in front of her, to not let her know that I was being affected by her presence and the fact that she was someone else's now. But when I saw her shedding tears again, all the deeply buried emotions yielded to a fit of new burning anger inside me.

But was this anger really directed at her? Was I angry at her for leaving me, or was I furious at myself for not being good enough for her that she left me? The answer to this question was still not vivid.

*****

Taking a deep breath once again, I finally stepped inside the secluded room and carefully shut the doors behind me. And to my relief, Jimin was already fast asleep. I did not want him to see me in this vulnerable state.

I silently tiptoed to the solitary couch placed at another side of the room and laid down. I just wanted to sleep my all the thoughts away, but sleep was far away from coming. Taehyung's heart-wrenching words kept replaying at the back of my mind, making me even more miserable.

"Hana?" Jimin's muffled voice distracted me from the inner monologue I was having.

"Yeah? Do you need something?" I asked, lifting my head up to meet his unvaried eyes. He kept looking at me for a few good seconds, and then he sighed.

"You're crying, Hana. It is because of him, isn't it?" His brows arched up. I touched my cheeks, and they were stained indeed. The tears have become a completely indispensable part of my life that, at times, I do not even realize that I am actually crying.

I remained quiet because I knew that he already knew. He always knows what is actually going inside my head, even without me telling him anything.

"Hana, you need to talk to me at least. Why are you always keeping everything to yourself when I am here for you, huh?" He spoke, silencing my all thoughts.

"Jimin, I...I don't know. It's just too much for me, he hates me. But I deserve that, right?" I mumbled, looking up at him.

"Hana, stop with absurdity. You do not deserve to be hated by anyone, and you should know that. What you did was for his own sake. Stop feeling guilty for it."

"But the fact that I hurt him won't ever change, even if it was for his own sake."

"Hana, you-"

"You should sleep Jimin, why did you wake up? You need to take proper rest for better recovery," I interrupted him, changing the topic.

"I know you don't want to talk about it. I'll just sleep for now, but you need to sleep too. Did you even look at your drained-out face? You look so ugly," he said, and his last statement somehow lightened the heavy atmosphere of the small hospital room.

"I don't care even if I'm ugly, I have you at least," I chuckled slightly, wiping my tears, and laid back on the couch.

"Yes, I'm going to stick to you like a leech for the rest of my life. Good night honey," he sang.

"You need to stop calling me that," I snickered at that pet name. He developed a habit of calling me that because it sounds similar to my name, but people always tend to misapprehend that, but he just won't stop calling me that ever.

I sat on the benches with my shoulders slumped down as I waited for my turn inside the psychiatric ward. The first thing Jimin made me do this morning was to get an appointment with the doctor. I did not even try to resist because I knew he would not stop bugging me about it.

No, I am not losing my senses, nor do I have some sort of mental disorder. I came to see the doctor because of my panic attacks. I really need some therapy or medication for my persistent anxiety disorders.

A nurse called my name, and I nodded at her as I stood up. I entered the cabin and a man, probably in his late twenties, greeted me with a warm smile and his cheeks carved into a pair of dimples. His personality radiated a positive and serene aura which was enough to shoo away anybody's gloominess.

"Good morning, Doctor," I smiled back.

"Take a seat, Miss Song. I am Doctor Kim Namjoon," he spoke, gesturing me to sit down at the chair across his table.

"So, you are here because of your sudden panic attacks, right?" He asked, skimming through the pages of the medical file I gave him.

"Yes, Doctor"

"I see, it was not your first time."

"Yes, I used to have severe panic attacks occasionally two years back, but after therapy and medications, it eventually stopped. But a few days ago, I faced a sudden episode again," I explained.

"As you said, it didn't happen during the period of the past two years. There must have been something that triggered your anxiety level? Did something like that happened?" He questioned.

"Actually, I felt as if I was being watched, a-and it brought back... some bad memories from the past," I told him, fidgeting with my fingers.

"Miss Song, relax. You do not need to hesitate, yeah?" He said softly, and I nodded.

"So, you want to talk about it?"

"It's... I don't k-know," I murmured shaking my head as I looked down at my lap.

"It's fine. I am not going to push you to talk about it until you're willing to. We can have a therapy session when you are ready for it. I'll just write a prescription for medications for now," he smiled.

"Y-yeah, thank you, doctor," I bowed my head a little.

"It's okay, you just need-" the opening of the door interrupted him suddenly, and he glanced towards the door to see the person.

"Oh, you have got an appointment going on. I'm sorry, I'll come later, hyung," a masculine voice spoke, and my head instantaneously jolted towards the person standing at the door. His eyes met mine, and his expression immediately changed into a perplexed one. He for sure had not expected me to see in the psychiatrist's cabin.

"It's fine Taehyung, she is the last one for now. You can come in," the doctor promptly said.

Taehyung looked at me dubiously and then again at him. I quickly stood up, averting my gaze from the man standing at the door. "I should probably go now," I declared.

"Yes, sure. Don't forget to take the medications," he said, handing me the file along with the prescription.

"Have a good day, doctor!" I threw a small smile before walking towards the door.

I looked up at Taehyung, who was still standing there, obstructing my way. "Uh, can you-" I blinked at him. His eyes showed a glint of something different momentarily, but then the next second, it was gone. He stepped aside immediately, and I cruised past him with a heavy heart. 

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I hope you're enjoying reading this book . Time is flying by so fast that I didn't even realised it's August already. I'll try to update asap . Happy August my loves. ❤