CHAPTER TWELVE:

Bella's POV:

I smile, somewhat shyly, at Jacob as he makes his way over to me once the others have left the room. "I wasn't really expecting you to ever talk to me again," I tell him, honestly, "after... you know... at the wedding."

"I didn't exactly come over here to talk," Jacob admits, sitting down beside me, resting his head against my legs. My heart quickens, and I inhale- sharply.

"You can't attack the Cullens, Jake!" I tell him, voice frantic.

"You don't think the Pack can take them?" he actually sounds insulted, and I glare at him.

"Maybe you could, but you're forgetting the fact that we have Hermione and all of her magical friends!" I say, putting an emphasis on the 'we'. Jacob notices and scowls, looking away, and I sigh, moving my hands to rest over my stomach. "Let's not fight, Jake. I really don't want to fight." I tell him, softly. He gives me a tired smile.

"I don't want to fight either." Relaxing back into the cushions, I feel a weight lift from my shoulders.

"So what's with the private talk?" I ask, "you trying to convince me to change my mind? Because that's not going to work, you know."

"Oh I know," he snorts, "dyi-riskingyour life for the demon spawn? That's pure Bella."
"I like to think I'm not that predictable." I say, with a slight frown. He lets out a bark of laughter.

"Then you're delusional, Bells." I stick out my bottom lip, then squeeze my eyes closed as my baby shifts around inside me, the pain spiking. "Bella?" I hear Jacob asking, his voice worried. "Are you okay? Do you need me to get Dr. Fang?"

"I'm fine," I manage to get out, through gritted teeth, opening my eyes again to meet Jacob's anxious ones, "just hunger pains." The look he gives me tells me he knows that's absolute bullshit, but to my relief, he doesn't press it. I try not to sigh, and instead smile at him again. "Anyway, like I said before, I'm glad you came. Even if it wasn't originally to visit me."

He gives me a sort of half smile. "I'm not going to lie, Bells, you look hideous." He states, bluntly. My lips twitch.

"I know. I'm scary-looking."
"Thing-from-the-swamp scary." He agrees. This time I can't hold back my laugh.

"It's so good having you here. It feels nice to smile. I don't know how much more drama I can stand." He gives me a rather pointed look, and I concede to his silent point. "Okay, okay, I bring it on myself."

"Yeah, you do." He agrees, "What're you thinking, Bella, honey? Seriously!" I cringe back slightly in the face of his anger.

"Did he ask you to yell at me?" I ask him, in a small voice.

"Sort of," Jacob grumbles, "though I can't figure why he thinks you'd listen to me. You never have before." I sigh. "I told you-" he starts to say, but a flare of annoyance rises inside me, and I interrupt him.

"Did you know that 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob? His name is 'Shut the hell up'." "Good one." Jacob admits. I grin at him.

"I can't take credit- I got it off a rerun of The Simpsons."

"Missed that one." He comments.

"It was funny."

We don't talk for about a minute. I'm the one who breaks the silence. "Did he really ask you to talk to me?" I ask. Jacob snorts, and nods.

"To talk some sense into you. There's a battle that's lost before it starts."
"So why did you agree?" I ask, ignoring the jibe. He didn't answer and I sigh. "It'll work out, you

know. I believe that." I told him. His face darkens instantly.

"Is dementia one of your symptoms?" He snaps. I can't help but laugh, even though I can see that he's so angry his body is starting to shake.

"Maybe. I'm not saying things will work out easily, Jake. But how could I have lived through all that I've lived through, and not believe there's a happy ending in sight?"

"A happy ending?" He asks, skeptically.

"Especially for you," I tell him, my voice earnest. I want him to believe what I'm saying, believe it for the truth that it is. "You deserve a happy ending Jake, and I know you've got one, waiting right around the corner."

"What the hell are you babbling about?" Jacob asks me, obviously not understanding.

"Edward told me once what it was like- your imprinting thing. He said it was like A Midsummer Night's Dream. A fairytale. And fairytales always have happy endings. You'll find who you're really looking for, Jacob, and maybe then all of this will make sense." I tell him earnestly. His face goes dark again, and an actual growl slips through his teeth.

"If you really think that imprinting could ever make sense of this insanity-" he inhales sharply, shaking his head, angry and incredulous, "do you really think that just because I might imprint on some stranger it would make this right?" He jabbed a finger at my swollen stomach, and my hands instantly moved to cradle the bulge, protectively. "Tell me what the point was then, Bella?" he rages, "What was the point of me loving you? What was the point of you loving him? When you die-" his words were a snarl now, "what's the point to all the pain? Mine, yours, his! You'll kill him, too, not that I care about that." I feel myself flinch, my entire being shying away from the idea of hurting Edward. Jacob ignores my horrified reaction, and keeps going.

"So what was the point of your twisted love story, in the end? If there is any sense, please show me, Bella, because I don't see it." I sigh.

"I don't know yet, Jake. But I just... feel... that this is all going somewhere good, hard to see as it is right now. I guess you could call it faith." I say, softly.

"You're dying for nothing, Bella! Nothing!" He almost shouts. I look down pointedly at my stomach, then back up at him. I don't have to say the words, I know he understands. I'm doing dying for nothing, I'm dying for my baby. My little nudger.

"I'm not going to die," I tell him, through my teeth, repeating what I'd said dozens of times before. "I willkeep my heart beating. I'm strong enough for that."

"That's a load of crap, Bella. You've been trying to keep up with the supernatural too long. No normal person can do it. You're not strong enough." He takes my face gently in his hand.

"I can do this, I can do this." I mutter, more to myself then to him. He's wrong- I can do this. I will keep my heart beating.

"Doesn't look like it to me. So what's your plan? I hope you have one." He says, bluntly. I nod, carefully not meeting his eyes, knowing he's not going to like what I have to say.

"Did you know Esme jumped off a cliff? When she was human, I mean."

"So?" Jacob asks, confused.

"So, she was close enough to death that they didn't even bother taking her to the emergency room- they took her right to the morgue. Her heart was still beating, though, when Carlisle found her and realized she was his mate..." I see the realization light on Jacob's face.

"You're not planning on surviving this human," he says, his voice dull. It was only the despondent expression on his face that kept me from saying 'duh!'.

"I'm not stupid," I tell him, keeping my tone even, "though I guess you probably have your own opinion on that point, though." I concede.

"Emergency vampirization." He mumbles.

"It worked for Esme. And Emmett, and Rosalie, and even Edward. None of them were in great shape. Carlisle only changed them because it was that or death. He doesn't end lives, he saves them."

I watch a shadow of guilt cross Jacob's face, but it clears pretty quickly, and he starts begging. "Listen to me, Bells. Don't do it that way." He paused to take a deep breath, "Don't wait until it's too late, Bella. Not that way. Live. Okay? Just live. Don't do this to me. Don't do it to him." His voice gets harder, louder, the longer he talks. "You know what he's going to do when you die. You've seen it before. You want him to go back to those Italian killers?"

I cringe back into the sofa, at the thought of Edward going to the Volturi, and shake my head adamantly. "No. Hermione will stop him." Jacob grinds his teeth.

"Remember when I got mangled up by those newborns?" he asks, obviously fighting to keep his voice softer, "what did you tell me?" He paused, waiting for my answer, but I didn't give him one, mostly because I wasn't sure which part of our conversation he was referring to. When it became clear I wasn't going to answer, he forged on anyway. "You told me to be good and listen to Carlisle. And what did I do? I listened to the vampire. For you."

"You listened because it was the right thing to do," I correct him, "and I also said to listen to Fleur." Jacob rolls his eyes.

"Okay- pick either reason."
"It's not the right thing now," I say, softly, gently rubbing my stomach. "I won't kill him." "Oh, I hadn't heard the great news. A bouncing baby boy, huh? Shoulda brought some blue

balloons." He says, voice harsh. I can feel myself blush.

"I don't know he's a boy," I admit, sheepishly, "the ultrasound wouldn't work. The membrane around the baby is too hard- like their skin. So he's a little mystery. But I always see a boy in my head."

"It's not some pretty baby in there, Bella." He warns. "We'll see." I retort, instantly.
"You won't!" he snarls and I groan, aloud.

"You're very pessimistic, Jacob- Hermione won't let me die! You saw how she and Harry fixed up Leah, I will walk away from this!" Jacob looked down and breathed deep and slow, obviously trying to get a grip on his fury. I reach out to pat his hair, trying to reassure him. "It's going to be okay. Shh. It's okay." He doesn't look up.

"No. It will not be okay." I wipe a tear from his cheek.

"Shh," I murmur, again.

"What's the deal, Bella?" he asks, still staring at the carpet. "I thought the whole point was that you wanted your vampire more than anything. And now you're just giving him up? That doesn't make any sense. Since when are you desperate to be a mom? If you wanted that so much, why did you marry a vampire?"

"It's not like that," I insist, "I didn't really care about having a baby. I didn't even think about it. It's not just having a baby. It's... well... this baby."

"It's a killer, Bella. Look at yourself."
"He's not. It's me. I'm just weak and human. But I can tough this out, Jake, I can-"

"Aw, come on!" He interrupts me- loudly. "Shut up, Bella. You can spout this crap to your bloodsuckers and your crazy ass sister, but you're not fooling me. You know you're not going to make it."

I glare at him, trying not to clench my hands into fists. "I do not know that. I'm worried about it, sure."

"Worried about it," he repeats through his teeth. And then the worst possible thing for this situation happened. Pain lanced through my stomach and I gasped, grasping it.

"I'm fine," I pant, seeing his stare, "it's nothing!" I then follow his stare, and realize that my hasty movement had tugged the sweatshirt aside, revealing the purple-black skin of my stomach. I yanked the fabric back down, but I hadn't moved quick enough, and Jacob looked like he was going to gag. "He's strong, that's all." I defend my baby.

"Bella," his voice is cracked, terrified this time. I look up to meet his frantic eyes. "Bella, don't do this." He pleads.

"Jake-"

"Listen to me. Don't get your back up yet. Okay? Just listen. What if..." he hesitates, and I push forwards.

"What if what, Jacob?"

"What if this wasn't a one-shot deal? What if it wasn't all or nothing? What if you just listened to Carlisle like a good girl, and kept yourself alive?"

"I won't-" I try interrupting him, but he just talks over me.

"I'm not done yet. So you stay alive. Then you can start over. This didn't work out. Try again." I frown, confused.

"I don't understand... What do you mean, try again? You can't think Edward would let me... and

what difference would it make? I'm sure any baby-"
"Yes," he snaps, "any kid of his would be the same." My brain was too tired to figure this out.

"What?" I asked, confused, but he didn't say anymore, leaving me to flounder through the memory of his words, trying to decipher a meaning. It took me nearly a minute to figure it out.

"Oh. Ugh, Please, Jacob. You think I should kill my baby and replace it with some generic substitute? Artificial insemination?" I was angry now, and my hands balled up into fists. "Why would I want to have some stranger's baby? I suppose it just doesn't make a difference, huh? Any baby will do?" My voice is scornful now, and raised loud enough that I almost don't hear his next words.

"I didn't mean that," he muttered. "Not a stranger." I leaned forwards. "Then what are you saying?"
"Nothing. I'm saying nothing. Same as ever."
"Where did that come from?" I ask, shocked.

"Forget it, Bella." He sighs. I frown, suspicious.

"Did he tell you to say that?" I demand. Jacob hesitates before answering, giving me all the confirmation I need."

"No."
"Try again." I warn.

"No, really. He didn't say anything about artificial whatever." I felt my face soften, my anger and indignation draining, as I sank back into the pillows. Exhaustion washed over me, and I stared off to the side, not really talking to Jacob at all.

"He would do anything for me," I murmur, "and I'm hurting him to much..." My voice trails off, and a tear rolls down my cheek.

"You don't have to hurt him," Jacob whispered, and I can basically hear how much it disgusted him, having to beg on Edward's behalf. "You could make him happy, again, Bella. And I think he's losing it. Honestly, I do."

I didn't say anything, due to the fact I agreed with his statement one hundred percent, and instead I moved my hand in small circles on my battered stomach while I chewed my lip. A thought strikes me, suddenly, and I frown. "Not a stranger?" I murmur, noting Jacob's flinch, "what exactly did Edward say to you?" I demand.

"Nothing. He just thought you might listen to me." Jacob responds too quickly. "Not about that. About trying again."

My eyes lock onto his, and it suddenly hits me, exactly what he's not saying. My eyes widen almost comically. Jacob was offering to be my baby daddy donor? And Edward had suggested it?

I think my mouth fell open a little. "Wow." It was silent as Jacob stared down at his feet, unable to meet my eyes. "He really would do anything, wouldn't he?" I whisper, shock radiating through me.

"I told you he was going crazy. Literally, Bells."

"I'm surprised you didn't tell on him right away." I muse, trying to lighten the mood. I need time to process what was just said. "Get him in trouble." When Jacob looked up, I was smiling.

"Thought about it." He tried to smile back at me, but it was mangled on his face.

"There isn't much you wouldn't do for me, either, is there?" I whisper, suddenly, feeling like the biggest, most selfish bitch on the face of this planet. "I really don't know why you bother. I don't deserve either of you."

"It makes no difference, though, does it?" he states.

"Not this time." I sigh. "I wish I could explain it to you right so that you would understand, so that everyone would understand. I can't hurt him"- I point to my stomach- "any more than I could pick up a gun and shoot you. I love him."

"Why do you always have to love the wrong things, Bella?" He asks.

"I don't think I do." I state, softly, and I can see the impact my words have on him. He clears the lump in his throat, trying to turn his voice hard again.

"Trust me." He says. I don't answer- I don't need to. He starts getting to his feet. "Where are you going?" I ask.
"I'm not doing any good here." I hold out my thin hand, pleading.
"Don't go." He shakes his head.

"I don't belong here. I've got to get back."
"Why did you come today?" I plead, still trying to reach for his hand.

"Just to see if you were really alive. I didn't believe you were sick like Charlie said." I winced slightly, remembering the phone-call I'd made to my father.

"Will you come back again? Before..." I let my voice trail off.

"I'm not going to hang around and watch you die, Bella." He says, voice harsh. I flinched at his words.

"You're right, you're right. You should go." He heads for the door, not looking back. "Bye," I whisper after him. "Love you, Jake." I think he almost turned around, I really do, but he didn't. He just kept walking away, out of the room. Edward was at my side almost the second Jacob left the room, and I rested my head against his shoulders, letting my tears soak into his shirt. Rosalie is a few feet behind him.

"Shh," he murmured, rubbing his hand in small circles on my back. "Shh."

"Wh-where's Hermione?" I ask, after my tears dry.

"Sleeping. Alice is out hunting." He explains, "Carlisle and Esme went with her."

"Good," I mumble, face still buried in his shoulder, "she needs to sleep and the others need to feed. You do to."

"I'm not leaving you, Bella." He says, firmly. I tighten my grip around his shoulders the best I can. 

"Promise?" I whisper.

"Promise." He says, firmly, pressing his lips against the top of my head.