Kongpob wanted to cry, seeing more and more bodies being found. He was in tears, trembling, and unable to get out of bed seeing the past killing spree. But this...this was outrageous and way out of hand. Even for a brutal killer.

Who even had time for this? Maybe Arthit is a different person; there's no way one person can do all of this in such a short amount of time. And not get caught.

Who was Arthit? To be in so many places, to have a respectable position, to be so charming, and to be digging graves of all those who dare to do wrong? Was he human?

Kongpob groaned as he rubbed his temple and walked over to the kitchen counter. He grabbed the small bottle of Advil and popped two in his mouth. He gulped it down with some warm water, trying to ease his headache.

He went back to the couch, sitting up straight. He took the phone lying on the other side of the couch and began searching for the cases. Details of each of them.

And he was up until the ungodly hours of the night, still reading articles after articles. Wrapped in a blanket in bed, the blanket covering Kongpob's whole small form. The only thing visible and heard being the blue light emitting from his phone screen and the shallow breaths he was taking.

Kongpob was on edge for the next few weeks. Always looking over his shoulder twice, keeping distance from all people and giving no reasonable explanations. And he knew was hurting people and creating damage.

But he couldn't help it. There was no one to go to for advice or comfort. He went to classes, his work, and occasional hangouts with his friends when he was literally dragged.

But he would leave before it got too dark, afraid of what he might see. And people stopped questioning or trying to convince him to stay. And it kind of hurt how easy it was for people to let go, but he couldn't blame them.

And maybe he was also a little relieved that he was stopped being interrogated and could just come home and be safe.

But nothing happened, it was like it was all in his head. And it made Kongpob question everything. The past months...was it all a bad dream?

But it wasn't; he could still feel the burn on his lips and head. The smell of expensive cologne wafted through the air. And he can't forget the tingles of pleasure that spread through his bones in the man's presence. And in the man's embrace, no matter how rough and unloving it was.

And Kongpob was learning more about himself too. How much he loved being vulnerable in front of that man. He liked submitting...and he never knew before. And he may be a little excited to learn more.

But nothing happened, and Kongpob won't lie. He was a little disheartened. But this meant that he could go on and live his life. Maybe Arthit forgot about him and things will continue like nothing ever happened.

Kongpob recited that every day. Like he always did until Arthit randomly showed up, scaring him and making him lose his wits.

But this time was different. It had been a long time, a very long time. With no notes, visits, or hidden innuendos. Kongpob was left alone completely.

And Kongpob finally can admit that he might be very curious about what happened. Not worried, just a little curious. Whether Arthit was still here or whether he was okay or whether he was just over playing with Kongpob.

But whatever it may be, he wished Arthit was doing well... even though he shouldn't be.

Months passed by and the holidays were approaching and Kongpob was becoming busy once again. With the final exams for his semester and going out with his friends, and buying gifts for nana and the few friends he had.

He loved Christmas. The lights, the decorations, the snow, the music, the smiles, and the joy surrounding everyone. No matter who they were. Christmas was a beautiful holiday. The children were so happy, being so obedient for Santa's gifts and looking forward to all the games and snow.

And the adults were a little stressed. Christmas was fun, but it also drained bank accounts. But it was a jolly occasion where families get together with friends and neighbors, eating and drinking.

Opening gifts and laughing by the fireplace. Sipping on some hot cocoa and fancy wine. Watching the little ones have the brightest smiles on their faces.

He was sad at first because he had no one to celebrate Christmas with. But then he discovered the joy of celebrating it by himself. Although it sounded depressing, seeing the joy on other people's faces was enough for Kongpob. Enough to keep a bright smile on his too.

So that's exactly what Kongpob was doing, baking and baking and baking. All the desserts one could think of and handing them out to friends, professors, and nana. Along with the few that visited the library.

And soon the library was filled, not for the books. But because the word of warm, delicious muffins and cakes spread like wildfire.

And Marie wasn't too thrilled, having people barge into the library so muffins. But Kongpob pouted at her, handing her, her favorite blueberry, cinnamon muffin.

And who was she to deny such a temptation? So she took the WHOLE tray of muffins, giving Kongpob a stink eye, and walked away. Very thrilled.

And Kongpob could only sigh, shaking his head and giving out more muffins for all.

His smile didn't even falter looking at his almost empty bank account as he bought all the gifts for all his friends. Not caring about how he'll eat after Christmas. That was a worry for another time.

And soon enough, he was attending the Christmas Eve party after their exams that the seniors threw. And he gave out all the gifts, earning so many hugs and kisses on his cheek. And Kongpob didn't mind starving to see the smiles on their faces.

It was all worth it.

He walked back home alone, carrying a cheap plum cake and some leftover food his seniors forced him to take. He unlocked the front door, too lost in thought to fathom that it was already open. Kongpob turned on the lights, placing the containers of food and keys down on the counter.

"You are late."

Kongpob hears a deep voice, and his hands freeze midway. His whole body going stiff.

Kongpob turned slowly with cold breaths, finding the man sitting cross-legged on his old worn-out couch with protectant sheets on top, staring at the glass he was drinking from. With a white dress shirt with three buttons undone, revealing most of his well-built hard chest and with a royal blue dress pants, tightened with a leather black belt.

Kongpob finally registered the door being unlocked and he wanted to bang his head on the wall. How many times? And he never learned. He casually kept walking into his own grave.

Kongpob stared at the side face of the man who was taking the bottle of bourbon and pouring himself some more. Swirling his glass filled with ice around, making a satisfying clinking sound.

Kongpob regained his senses and saw the front door not too far away from him and turned over to run and heard a click. Praying it wasn't what he thought it was.

"I'll shoot your leg and let you bleed to death if you think of running," came a blank voice. And the bone-chilling voice wasn't joking.

Kongpob closed his eyes tight, letting out cold breaths, feeling his body lose some senses. And he could feel himself becoming so light. He turned around slowly and met the dark hazel eyes.

Arthit smiled, putting the gun over the table and spreading one arm over the backrest of the couch. He tilted his head to the seat beside him, not leaving Kongpob's eyes as he brought the glass to his lips.

Kongpob continued standing, testing Arthit unknowingly. Arthit took another sip of his drink, staring blankly at Kongpob.

Kongpob got the message and walked over to the couch, shaking from head to toe. Kongpob ripped his eyes away from Arthit's gaze, feeling a shudder run down him.

And he took a seat beside him, still completely upright while Arthit simply drank, being totally silent. Kongpob sat beside him taking ragged breaths, he was joking. He wasn't curious about Arthit.

He didn't want to be near him. And he was afraid...petrified of what could happen next. He could hear his heartbeat and was sure Arthit could too.

Everything was so silent that he could hear the clock ticking, the soft rustling of dead leaves, and the howling of the wind outside.

Kongpob was pulled out of the million thoughts fleeting across his head when Arthit held out a glass in front of him.

A glass of bourbon. And Kongpob doesn't drink. Never did and he didn't want to. He stared at the glass and the veiny hand holding it out.

A huge metal ring that resembles a sword adorning his long middle finger. And another ring that hugged Arthit's index finger in the shape of a snake, slithering out. With emeralds for the eyes.

He looked at Arthit and saw a dimpled smile that never reached his eyes, looking back.

"I don't drink...I'm sorry," Kongpob bows his head a little, apologizing. Expecting Arthit to put the glass down.

Arthit's face goes blank as he commands with a low cold voice, "drink."

Kongpob jolts, staring at Arthit and then the glass. Arthit kept holding the drink out, staring blankly into Kongpob's eyes. Bringing his cup to his lips.

Kongpob hesitantly takes the glass, seeing no other choice. And Arthit smiles again, popping his dimples. Kongpob knew that second why Arthit was getting away every time, no matter how sloppy.

The dimpled smile was dangerous. It could hypnotize and kill.

Arthit raised his glass, still smiling sweetly at Kongpob. Almost tearing down his defenses. Kongpob followed the gesture, gulping down lumps. And they clinked their glasses together.

Arthit immediately takes a sip while staring at Kongpob and Kongpob follows. Bringing his glass to his lips. He slowly takes a sip and coughs, spluttering his drink over himself.

His throat and eyes burning from the burning alcohol he tried to down. He coughed, his face turning red and he wanted to run. Arthit smirked, taking another sip. Almost showing off and very amused.

He looks Kongpob dead in the eye and finishes his glass, tilting his head back. His throat bobbing as he downs the hard liquor. And Kongpob feels compelled to try again but fails miserably. Having a second round of coughing fits.

"I've tasted your muffins...they're good. So make yourself useful and make us a grand Christmas Eve dinner." Arthit said not looking at Kongpob. Still leaning back and looking around the small cozy home.

And Kongpob didn't need to be told twice. As he got up and ran to the kitchen. Grand? He opened the fridge and all he saw were some carrots, cabbage, and cauliflower. He prayed he had some rice and thankfully. He had just enough. He would just eat a smaller amount.

He put the whole of the rice he had left into the rice cooker and set the time. He rolled up the sleeves of his emerald green turtleneck sweater and grabbed a knife.

He ended up making some fried rice with some kimchi on the side. Along with some pickled eggs. He kept glancing back into the living room to see Arthit still sitting gazing around the house. And he could feel the hot stare at his back while cooking.

He grabbed two floral bowls and put the majority of the fried rice on Arthit's plate while a little on his own. Just out of habit. He grabbed another ceramic, black and blue sushi plate and placed the pickled eggs with some seaweed and bacon.

"It's done..." Kongpob placed the dishes on the small table in the kitchen. "It's not much. I didn't assume I'd have guests..."

Arthit came around and looked at the table. He frowned and looked back at Kongpob. "This is grand to you?"

"I didn't know I'd have guests..." Kongpob whispered, blinking away the tears. Feeling ashamed and embarrassed, having to serve such a lame Christmas Eve dinner.

Arthit stared at Kongpob for a moment then sat down, taking the spoon and chopsticks into his hands. He began eating and closed his eyes, moaning.

"You can cook. Such a waste to have nothing to cook with..." Arthit said, eating another spoonful of fried rice with some kimchi.

Kongpob smiled and nodded, eating some of his rice slowly. Very slowly so he wouldn't finish way faster than Arthit.

Arthit noticed and stared at his empty bowl even though he only took a couple of small spoonfuls.

"It's good for the first bite. And that's it. Eat the rest of mine," Arthit slid his half-full bowl towards Kongpob, whose lips quivered.

"And stop crying for everything. It's boring," Arthit remarked, getting up and looking around. "Minimalist, aren't we?"

Kongpob smiled awkwardly, his left leg bouncing on the floor and his hands shaking. He finished the rest of the food and brought the plates to the sink. Looking around to where Arthit disappeared too.

He looked over at the table and saw the gun gone, maybe Arthit left. So what was all of this then? Kongpob shook his head, putting all the dirty dishes in the sink.

He turned around to grab the dish soap to collide into a hard chest. He looked up, gasping in shock. Arthit looked down with his hands in his pockets, his eyes glinting.

Arthit backed him up to the nearest wall, next to the kitchen stove.

"I've been holding back a lot. Surprised with my own self-control..." Arthit whispered in his sultry voice, sending delicate tremors down Kongpob's back.

Kongpob crouched, making himself seem smaller. Taking quick breaths, afraid to move too much. Arthit grips Kongpob's hair, yanking his head back.

"But I'm letting go today...as my Christmas gift and your punishment."

Arthit hauls Kongpob over his shoulder and walks to the bedroom and throws him over the bed.

"I'm hurt, you know..." Arthit whispers, getting on his fours and parting Kongpob's legs.

"You gave everyone a gift but me...and how's that fair?" Arthit pouted, a smirk soon replacing it seeing Kongpob's quivering form.

"And this isn't the first time you forgot me..." Arthit leaned down, placing his head on Kongpob's chest, his fingers drawing small patterns on. His hot breath, making the nether regions tight for Kongpob.

Kongpob looked at the ceiling, knowing what was about to come, and he was learning to accept. He did forget...

Kongpob blinked, pushing his head further into the mattress, seeing Arthit's face millimeters away from his own.

"And I guess I'll have to make sure that you never forget again..." Arthit smiled, popping his dimples.

And before Kongpob could register those words, he felt a snapping burn on his skin as the sweater was ripped off of him.

Leaving his honey-toned chest red and burning. Arthit bent down, taking a deep breath of Kongpob's sweet scent.

"Mmm, strawberries..." Arthit leaned down, licking Kongpob's neck.

Kongpob gasped, feeling the warm tongue lap at his sensitive skin. He could feel the areas where Arthit touched burning. He felt like he was on fire. The fire of desire.

"You're so soft. Just like I dreamt," Arthit went lower, down to Kongpob's chest, letting his fingertips graze Kongpob's sensitive nubs.

He trailed his calloused hand down Kongpob's cheek and neck, his lips grazing Kongpob's arms and shoulder. Arthit's hot breath leaving goosebumps along the soft, honey skin.

Kongpob closed his eyes tight, fisting his hand at either side. His chest falling and rising in quick breaths. The room getting hotter each second.

Arthit yanked down Kongpob's black jeans, almost skinning Kongpob with the aggression. Kongpob whimpered, feeling ashamed. He grabbed the comforter and tried covering himself but Arthit grabbed his hands and pinned them above.

"I always have the best taste," Arthit undid his belt and wrapped it around Kongpob's hands which was more than willingly held out for Arthit.

Kongpob muffled a moan as Arthit rotated his hips sensually over him, causing a painfully pleasurable friction. He threw Kongpob's bound hands above him and sunk his teeth painfully into Kongpob's shoulder.

"I've been wanting to do that," Arthit licked over the bite mark while Kongpob cried out loud. It was painful for him. And he wasn't experienced.

"Arthit..." Kongpob called out, trying to shuffle away. Kongpob screamed next. Feeling a hard slap fall over his thigh which turned a beautiful rosy shade.

"Daddy. Call me daddy," Arthit came over him, looking at him.

His eyes showing nothing but lust and Kongpob hated being looked at this way. He turned his head away, gulping down huge lumps, shivering in the cold.

Arthit pinched his chin, tilting it towards him. "Don't look away."

Arthit bent down, capturing Kongpob's soft lips between his. Moaning instantly, eyes rolling back as he indulged in the pleasure he denied himself for so long.

"I can't get enough," Arthit hissed against his lips while Kongpob cried against him.

Feeling so overwhelmed with all the new sensations. Arthit took his lips once more, biting down hard, eliciting a scream he'd die for.

He sucked on the blood, his hand gripping Kongpob's thigh which was adorned with his handprint. And the other skillfully playing with Kongpob's left nub. Twisting and rubbing.

Kongpob threw his head back, his cries being swallowed by Arthit's lips.

Arthit leaned back, his eyes darkening at the sight below. Kongpob's chest was heaving, his lips wet and bruised, skin burning and so soft, and thighs parted, welcoming him.

"You're sinful to look at. Do you know?" Arthit whispered, lying his lips against Kongpob's wet cheek. And licking his tears away. "And you taste divine. So divine."

Kongpob's eyes rolled back as he drew in some deep breaths, trying to calm down. Still shaking in broken sobs

"And I can come undone, just looking at your tears and hearing your cries..." Arthit humped Kongpob's naked self. Smirking at the pleasure and fear-filled face.

Kongpob whimpered, feeling tension build up in the depths. Feeling his skin burn with every touch and nip. Arthit gripped him in a strong hold, making Kongpob look at him wide-eyed.

"Please...it hurts..." Kongpob cried, shaking his head. Trying to bring down his hands.

"Touch me...and you'll know what pain is," Kongpob heard the chilling voice.

He immediately dropped his hands over his head and submitted. Ready to take it as it's given

Arthit kept the pace, biting and licking each part of Kongpob. Going down to worship Kongpob's alluring thigh.

"You're so soft. I could sink my teeth in you forever," Arthit licked the inner corner of Kongpob's thigh before biting hard.

And Kongpob saw stars, while Arthit continued his fast pace. Not giving him a break. Kongpob screamed out Arthit's name and begged for him to stop. He didn't know what he was saying all he knew was the ocean of pleasure he was pushed into. And now drowning in.

He felt his body tremble as the pleasure took over his system and he moaned softly. His screams being louder. Forgetting about everything for a moment and letting himself come undone.

Kongpob opened his eyes, hearing the clicking once again. He shot out of bed only to be pushed back and smacked on the thigh.

"Is it still hot?" Arthit asked, trailing the muzzle of the pistol along Kongpob's tear-stained cheeks. Kongpob looked up with quivering lips as tears poured out.

"It's from my last kill...a couple of minutes before I came to your house," Arthit smirked, seeing Kongpob's body tremble and crouch. Trying to make himself smaller.

Kongpob looked away, unable to hold the burning gaze any longer. It was terrifying. He was terrified. He was so scared, he sniffled, trying to breathe through his stuffy nose.

And he found himself tossed onto his fours, his bottom up in the air.

"I don't like repeating myself. And I don't like being ignored," Arthit hissed against Kongpob's ear and brought his hand down to Kongpob's soft flesh.

"This is for being a disobedient whore," Arthit brought down his hand. Once. Twice. Thrice.

"This is for being a forgetful bitch," he brought his hand down on the other side. Once. Twice. Thrice.

Kongpob dropped his head on his arms, crying silently as the pain shot up and down his body. And he begged for it to stop. And was replied with another hard smack.

"This is for pissing me off." Once. Twice. Thrice.

"And this..." Arthit brought down his hand and gripped Kongpob's bruised and red bum. "Is because I love your cries."

Kongpob screamed and sobbed during the last five smacks. Sobbing into the sheets as Arthit didn't stop with his bottom. But continued hitting his thighs until Arthit was pleased.

And all Kongpob could do was cry out for mercy which only made Arthit hit harder.

"Undress me," Arthit ordered, kneeling on the bed.

Kongpob fell on his face, exhausted. He felt another smack on his thigh and jolted forward, soaking the sheets with his tears and saliva.

Kongpob got up slowly, looking up at Arthit with tearful eyes. Falling back a couple of times. He was in pain and he couldn't move. But he knew Arthit didn't care. He got on his knees and undid each button carefully, the bound hands helping him be a little less shaky.

Arthit stared at Kongpob while the latter concentrated so hard on undressing him. Careful to not cause a single wrinkle and he wanted to coo. Kongpob was adorable. The best toy he's ever had.

Arthit smirked as Kongpob looked away a little while taking off Arthit's pants. Revealing Arthit in his naked glory. He pushed Kongpob back down and hovered over him. Arthit leaned down and bit Kongpob's cheek.

Eliciting a scream so pleasing to his ear.

"I still remember the feel of your sinful mouth," Arthit whispered, humping their naked selves together.

Causing sweet friction. Kongpob's eyes rolled back as he felt himself getting closer to the cliff once again. He parted his lips, taking in small breaths due to his stuffed nose.

He sniffled and gaped as Arthit took the pistol and trailed it along Kongpob's jaw.

"You look like you always belonged under me...crying and helpless."

Kongpob stiffened, feeling the gun go lower and away from his sight. He soon felt the thing brush against himself, twirling around the most sensitive part. Throwing Kongpob's sanity away in a ditch.

Kongpob began to struggle hard under Arthit. Scared of where the pistol was being dragged along. And the thing was hot. Making him jolt with every brush against him. He tried wiggling out of Arthit's iron grip, trembling in sobs.

His head began to pound from all the stress, pain, and fear. And he felt light-headed. Like he was fading away.

"I was so mad...seeing you whoring around with other men..." Arthit trailed the gun lower. He took Kongpob's right thigh and hauled it over his shoulder.

"You are soft everywhere," Arthit smirked, looking at the red face, whimpering and struggling to hold Arthit's blazing gaze.

He trailed the muzzle around Kongpob. Kongpob looked at him with tears streaming down.

Arthit threw his head back and chuckled, pushing the muzzle deeper. Looking right into Kongpob's scared, teary eyes.

"Cry some more...it's so hot."

Arthit thrusted slowly, his other hand digging into Kongpob's thigh. "So so soft..." Arthit pushed in deeper, making Kongpob scream.

"I-..." Kongpob screamed, hearing the cocking of the gun. Flashes of his life fleeting before his very eyes.

Arthit lowered his head and bit into the inside of Kongpob's thigh and sucked. "So so sweet..."

"Arthit..." Kongpob screamed, crying and thrashing his head side to side. "Please Arthit..."

Calling out. Screaming for some mercy. He didn't want to die. He tried finding his voice, but it was already fading from all the screams.

Arthit looked up at him and pushed in till the trigger. "What did you call me?"

Kongpob looked at him, tears streaming down. "D-daddy...please..."

Arthit stared at him with a blank face.

"You lying bitch," Arthit smacked Kongpob's face, leaving a huge red handprint over his already red face.

Kongpob cried, hyperventilating now. Hiccupping and taking quick uneven breaths. Arthit pulled the pistol out and slammed himself in, rocking at a pace he found pleasurable.

"Lying and whoring around bitches don't get to beg," Arthit covered Kongpob's mouth, muffling his screams.

He dragged the gun to Kongpob's mouth, putting it inside. Stopping him from biting back his cries.

"Scream and I might press the trigger," Arthit whispered, smirking.

Kongpob wanted to muffle his screams but his hands were pinned and the gun in his mouth made it impossible to bite down.

"You're slobbering over my gun. You mutt," Arthit hissed with a smirk, hitting the bundle of nerves harder and harder.

Kongpob closed his eyes, his body jolting back with every hard thrust. Kongpob let out small whimpers, having his sweet spot relentlessly tortured. Arthit licked Kongpob's hard nubs, biting and nipping.

And a few more thrusts later, he could feel the burn in his lower abdomen, begging him to be relieved.

Kongpob wanted to bite his lips and cover his scream but he couldn't. And he couldn't control it as he screamed while coming undone again. Feeling so tired, afraid, and spent.

Arthit looked down darkly, giving a long hard thrust.

"Always so disobedient..." Arthit murmured, cocking his gun again. Kongpob looked up at him, crying harder.

"Ar-... please..." Kongpob cried, looking away and trying to move back. Arthit grabbed his thighs and pulled him back, slamming back inside.

Arthit pushed the pistol back into Kongpob's mouth and Kongpob closed his eyes and let out an ear-piercing scream as he saw Arthit press the trigger.

Arthit threw his head back and chuckled, still rocking in painfully. Caging Kongpob between his arms.

"I forgot...I used the last one for her. Want me to tell you the details?"

Kongpob sobbed, looking away. Staring back at Arthit, feeling a series of hard thrusts. "Please..."

"Of course. I will tell you..." Arthit smirked, leaning closer to Kongpob's head. "I shot her leg, but her scream didn't please me like yours."

Kongpob stiffened and clawed the pillows behind, feeling Arthit spread him wider and dig deeper. Deeper into places he didn't know existed. Making him feel things he didn't know could be felt.

"And I carved my name into her. Smiling as she begged to be spared. Begged to be killed faster. Ask what I did," Arthit gave a teasing thrust, gripping Kongpob, throwing the gun somewhere onto the floor. And closing his free hand around Kongpob's neck

"W-what did you do?" Kongpob stammered out, gripping the sheets above and whimpering at the force of the thrusts. Fearing that he might actually split into two.

"I dug the blade deeper...made her beg more. And then I killed her," Arthit shrugged, while Kongpob stared up at the ceiling, letting the words go in.

And he stared up, letting the tears roll down the sides of his face.

"And it felt so good. Just like you." Arthit murmured, sinking his teeth into Kongpob's shoulder. Licking over the bite mark from before. And biting again to make it deeper.

Arthit thrust a few more times before groaning and spilling curse words under his breath. And the clock ticked midnight.

Arthit smirked and leaned down, slightly panting. Devilishly whispering in Kongpob's ear, "Merry Christmas, smol bean..."

He pulled out and stared at Kongpob who kept staring up blankly, crying silently with a flushed, messed up face. Big handprints etched onto his thigh and bottom. Fingermarks on his chin and cheeks, with fresh tears. And bruises all over.

"Did you like your gift?" Arthit purred, licking away the tears, moaning while doing so.

Kongpob nodded blankly. What other choice did he have anyway?

Arthit left Kongpob's marked and bruised body, dressing and looking back. "Remember who you belong to. My reminder next time won't be so kind."

Kongpob heard the door shutting and he felt the non stop tears falling. His body was aching. He was in so much pain. So much that he couldn't move or feel his legs.

But the ache he felt inside overthrew the excruciating pain all over his body. Those words echoing through his head. He wasn't anything that Arthit said he was.

He wanted something special for his first time...a forehead kiss like in shows and movies. Cuddling in the other's warmth, being told how good they were. Being massaged and carried to the bath. And be pampered.

But for him. What did he get? He got fucked and ditched. Even a piece of meat would have been treated better than this.

But why couldn't he hate him? That man. That Stupid Arthit Rojnapat ruined his life. Ruined his body. Ruined everything.

Kongpob tried moving his legs, wincing. But froze, taking in deep breaths, tears still gushing out. He couldn't move. It was so painful. He wanted to scream. He wanted to rip something, to show how much pain he was in. To ask for help.

He always missed a mother's warmth. But he grew accustomed to having none. But he wanted nothing more than to run into his mother's arms and beg her to take away his pain.

He wanted to run into his arms, but he wasn't even there. That damned Rojnapat took his life and soul and left without looking back.

Kongpob kept staring, parting his lips to let out a shaky breath. His vision constantly blurry as new fat tears formed and dripped down. He could feel how soaked the sheets and pillows were.

He could feel the warm liquid dripping out of him, making him feel disgusting. Kongpob scrunched up his eyebrows and looked to the side. He saw a bottle of pills fallen with the contents spilled.

Kongpob humorlessly laughed, his lips quivering the next second. What was wrong with that man? So hot and cold. So bad and good. Kongpob dug his head deeper into the pillow, clawing the sheets under his hands.

"Why?" Kongpob whispered to no one in particular. He turned to the side with great effort, crying out loud with the throbbing pain. He could feel the vein in his head pop with the effort.

He fell to the floor with a loud thud, screaming in pain. Shaking and trembling, naked and bleeding. He looked back, over his shoulder at the sheet. And slapped his hand onto his mouth.

His eyes widening at the blood on the sheets. He sniffled, crawling on the floor slowly, to the best of his abilities. He took the pills on the floor and swallowed, not being able to reach the water.

He closed his eyes, swallowing as much saliva to help wash down the pill. He downed two pills and laid on the cold, hard floor. Making it harder for his back pain. He kept lying on his side, his head on his arms as he let his tears hit the floor.

And he didn't know how long he laid there but soon, the floor around him was wet with tears. And he was so cold and tired. He took a deep breath, wincing at the pain shooting up his spine.

He dragged himself to the bathroom, crying for how far it was. He threw his head back, sighing in relief, finally having reached the bathtub. He turned on the water, adjusting the temperature.

He slowly stood up, after many failed attempts, with his wobbly legs. And held onto the walls for support as he climbed in and slowly sat down. Or fell...

Groaning at the water splashing everywhere. He moaned at the hot water soothing his aching body. Very grateful for being able to get this far.

He laid his head back, taking small shaky breaths as he felt the tears slide down his face. He knew he resembled a corpse. And it's exactly how he felt too. He felt dead. Feeling nothing but so much pain in every aspect.

He somehow after hours and hours into Christmas day got up and cleaned the sheets. And he never left the house nor answered the phone calls.

What a Christmas... 

Kongpob clutched his tummy on the couch, hearing it growl for the nth time. He hadn't eaten all day. Not even a sip of water unless it was taking pain medication.

He looked around for any snacks nearby. But all there was were the two glasses used yesterday. One still filled and the other empty. With the bottle on the floor, making a mess.

Kongpob laid down sideways, biting his lips to hold in the painful scream. He didn't even have a voice left after everything. Even breathing was painful.

He gently laid his head over his arm, closing his eyes shut tight. Praying that this was all a very bad dream. A very bad nightmare that just felt a little too real.

It was very real. None of the prayers and wishing looking at the angel numbers worked. He was bruised and in pain. And he was grateful for his nana who happily gave him more days off. And elated how their classes won't begin for another couple of weeks.

It would give him enough time to heal physically and emotionally. But he needed food. He couldn't keep starving and he had no money to pay for delivery services either.

He got up off his bed, limping out of the bedroom. It had been days and he still was in pain. And was taking two pills twice. And that was a lot of drugs.

He winced and froze, feeling a shooting pain. He grabbed onto the door frame and leaned his head against it. Waiting for the throbbing pain to pass.

He waited for so long with bated breaths that he just wanted to collapse and stay on the floor for the rest of the day. But he knew he couldn't. He had to eat, he couldn't remember the last good meal he had. The last thing he ate was half of an orange he found in the fridge, that tasted like dirty socks.

He took small steps to the kitchen and slumped onto the nearby chair and scanned the area. He saw some bread and his face lit up. Bread was good, he had to have some kind of jam or peanut butter or just butter.

He opened the cabinets and looked for anything to spread onto the slices of bread he toasted, and nothing. And the butter had black dots all over.

Kongpob took the two slices of butter and munched on them. It tasted like nothing, just a little tinge of sweetness.

He heard his phone ring and sighed. It was about time he answered people before they started a search and rescue looking for him.

He let his phone ring, not rushing to pick it up. He knew he couldn't walk that fast. It was all the way across the place. And his small home suddenly felt like a million-dollar mansion. With how far away everything was.

He swallowed the last bits of bread on his plate and stood up, holding his back. He took the bottle of pills and shook them. He had enough. More than what a bottle usually would have.

He walked over to the couch and took the phone off the table and scanned the missed calls from Nana and a few of his friends. And his senior, Nathan. Who had called him about four times already today? And a countless amount of times over the past couple of days.

He felt a little bad, but he was in no condition to speak. He hit the name and put his phone to his ear, gently sitting down with struggled breaths.

He heard Nathan's worried voice and smiled a little. Someone cared. He shook his head, smiling at Nathan's worried reprimands.

He stiffened hearing Nathan's offer to come by and get groceries after Kongpob slipped out that his fridge was empty. He didn't want anyone in his house. He just couldn't, it was too soon. He wanted to be alone.

He didn't know what excuses came out of his mouth but it worked. Because soon he hung up and even hours later, the house was empty. Just like his fridge.

And soon he began going out again. Trying to stop the emptiness inside. He tried to fill the void and the thought he did by hanging out with his friends and nana. Laughing, eating, and teasing. But the moment he closed the front door and came inside his dark house.

Everything flooded back inside. The creeping loneliness suffocated him every night. Making him wet his pillows daily.

He still watched the news every night about new bodies popping up. Until they didn't anymore. And the people were going insane with their theories and conclusions. What if the portrait killer died, or left, or is on break, or quit?

And Kongpob caught up on all the recent news and every article. He read every theory and comment about every case. He needed to know. And he didn't even deny he was rooting for Arthit.

He did before, but who was he lying to. The charming killer with a damn killer smile already made his way into Kongpob's big, soft little heart.

All he could do was move on with his life. He got what he wanted and he left. So now what? Now Kongpob would just continue living and try to cover all the pain and the darkness he was enveloped into. To the best of his abilities.

He texted his friends a quick reply before grabbing his keys and bag off the counter and walked out the door. Not bothering if he locked it as he would have before. He didn't care anymore.

He opened the huge metal door, showing his ID to the guards. He smiled and walked inside the bar with the strong essence of alcohol and sweat.

Kongpob grimaced. This would not be the place he would have chosen to hang out. But they hang out at the library with nana enough for Kongpob. Nana was loved by them all but she would go on and on, talking about American literature and things even Kongpob barely cared about.

He walked around, squinting his eyes to see through the flashing lights and dim walkways. He sped up seeing Annie smile and wave, almost jumping out of Adam's arms. Giggling and turning around to give a small peck.

Kongpob smiled, ignoring the burn spreading. He wanted that.

"You came," Nathan smiled, nudging a drink his way. Kongpob looked down and smiled, shaking his head.

"It's just a lime club soda. No alcohol," Nathan smiled, pushing the glass closer. Kongpob looked at Nathan and smiled.

"Thank you," Kongpob sat down, taking the drink and bringing it to his lips. Taking a small sip, nodding at something his friends were saying.

Kongpob had fun with his friends, with Nathan. He was very attentive and caring. And so gentle and soft with him. Whispering in such a sweet voice everything Kongpob wanted to hear, needed to hear.

And he found himself hugging around Nathan's waist as Nathan zoomed through the busy highways, happy to drop Kongpob at home.

Kongpob closed his eyes, smiling as the wind blew his hair away from his face and caressed his head. Sweet whispers of mother nature echoing in his ears. And Kongpob was almost convinced that everything was okay.

Nathan smirked as Kongpob gripped his waist tighter when he sped up. Racing through the streets. It was so thrilling every single time. But having Kongpob hugging him gave him a new sort of adrenaline.

He wanted Kongpob. Kongpob reminded him of a cuddly little puppy. So soft and small. So cute and adorable. So trusting and sensitive. So caring and naive. And he wanted all of Kongpob.

Kongpob opened his eyes, feeling themselves coming to a stop. Blushing at how tightly he was holding onto Nathan. He eased his grip slowly and pushed himself back. Creating some distance between them.

"Thank you for not crushing me," Nathan chuckled, watching Kongpob blush harder.

"I am sorry. Didn't mean to," Kongpob scratched his nape, looking down.

"Aren't you going to invite me in and give me a little treat for being so kind?" Nathan raised his eyebrow, crossing his arms.

Kongpob looked around, it was late at night. And he just wanted to be alone. Hanging out with friends was nice, but it was exhausting. He was exhausted. And he just wanted to drench himself in some hot water and curl up in bed.

"I'm kidding. Don't over fry your brain baby," Nathan chuckled, ruffling Kongpob's hair. "I'll get going, it's late."

Kongpob nodded, blushing and looking away. Feeling a little giddy. He had never been called such sweet names before. Quite the opposite of someone...

And he'd never experienced so much attention on him. It was so new and so refreshing. It felt nice.

Kongpob was soon becoming more like himself, with fewer tears at night and more laughter during the day. And he was grateful to all the powers above, for granting some peace. Even if it was the smallest amount.

Kongpob was laughing looking at the texts in the group chat. It was just Adam apologizing to Annie for the nth time after making her sad. And Annie was taking full advantage of Adam's pampering.

He scrolled up and saw the countless messages of Adam and Annie bickering, fighting, teasing, flirting, and asking for forgiveness.

Well, Adam was seeking forgiveness and Annie was throwing tantrums. And Adam was more than happy to pamper her like there's no tomorrow.

But he was happy for his friend. Annie deserved it. She deserves Adam. A hardworking, kind, generous, and extremely playful man.

But it didn't stop Kongpob from dreaming of what it would've been if Arthit was like that. How different his life would've been.

He felt a little sad. But he wasn't one to dwell on his losses or pain. There were so many people in this world, dying and suffering so much. And he was blessed to have friends, nana, a home, education, food, and clothing.

And it didn't feel right to complain. He was okay and forgotten. Which should be a good thing. He shook his head a little, gathering his thoughts, and sent a teasing text.

Which was replied with a storm of teasing from everyone, making Kongpob gape and blush. He took the pillow on his couch and hugged it, shoving his face in it.

It was his friend's new game. To tease Kongpob with Nathan as much as possible. And it wouldn't have been too bad. IF NATHAN WASN'T IN THE CHAT.

But now he saw all the teasings and how miserably Kongpob held himself together. He blushed reading Nathan's reply, defending Kongpob. And telling the others to leave him alone. Which was responded with MORE endless teases.

Kongpob peeked at his phone, above the small plushie and smiled. He loved his friends and this connection they had. Yes, he couldn't go to them about most of his problems, but they were there to always cheer him up. Knowing or unknowing.

And Kongpob was so happy with whatever he had with Nathan. He loved the sweet voice asking about his day. And the special attention had got from the head hazer of their department.

Kongpob felt special and he didn't know what it felt like before. But he did now and it felt good. Very good. But his heart sank instead of pounding when Nathan pulled him aside one day, asking for dinner together.

Kongpob wasn't naive. He knew this wasn't just a friendly little get-together. And as much as he loved Nathan's company, dating...wasn't appealing. Dating Nathan wasn't appealing.

But he accepted nonetheless because Nathan was a good man. And he couldn't stand the thought of bringing him pain, when all Nathan did was make him happy.

He forced a smile when Nathan took his hand and placed a soft kiss on it. Dabbing it with his thumb, smiling and whispering a small thank you.

And Kongpob felt tears forming. Nathan was such a good man and he wanted a good man. He wanted HIM to be a good man.

Kongpob blushed when Nathan came closer, dabbing his lip. Smiling and walking away the next moment. And he just stood there, dumbstruck, his face reddening.

He locked his door, slumping against the front door. Replaying the events of that day. Closing his eyes and running a frustrated hand down his face. Rubbing his eyes till they turned red and burned.

"What are you doing Kongpob?" He asked himself, throwing his bag onto the counter and placing the keys down a little louder than necessary.

He huffed and let out a loud sigh, placing the thrown bag and keys in their places and straightening everything on the counter.

He went around and opened the cabinet and took out the cheap instant noodles. He prepped the ramen, opening the veggie packet and putting it evenly on top

He turned on the tap to fill the little bowl with some warm water and waited for it to cook.

He zapped out of his thoughts hearing the microwave beep, letting him know the noodles were done.

He sat down on the couch and turned on the news. Following his nightly routine and saw there were no new cases. He took his phone and looked up articles, catching up with anything that he may have missed. And nothing new and nothing old progressed.

He smiled, a little relieved. Maybe he was changing. Kongpob smiled at the thought and slurped in the remaining noodles. A little worried for his life expectancy, seeing the unhealthy foods he was consuming.

He shrugged and threw the trash away and cleaned up, grabbing a towel and hopping into the hot shower. Pleased with the steam inside.

He walked out in a big pair of pajamas, the pants almost dragging on the floor. He poured himself some water and gulped it down in one go.

He fell back onto his bed, letting his muscles relax after a long day with classes and work. He jolted hearing the sound of paper crumpling and shot up.

He turned around, tilting his head. He picked up the folded piece of paper and saw the cursive, beautiful penmanship. The beautiful handwriting that haunted him

His eyes widened and he looked around frantically. He went to the window and doors of the house, making sure it was locked. He dragged a chair to the front door and locked it against the knob. Praying it would make it harder.

Because apparently, the locks weren't stopping this man from entering. It was like he had a key. A different key each time Kongpob changed the locks. It was impossible.

He double-checked the locks on the windows in the bedroom and leaned against the wall. His lips trembled as he looked down at the note.

Do I need to remind you who you are so soon? You're my whore, and will remain so. Don't ask for more than you can handle, bean.

Kongpob felt his vision blurring with pools of tears in his eyes. He blinked them back, trying to read the note. He banged his head against the wall. The man was perfectly fine. And STILL keeping tabs on him.

Well, at least Kongpob doesn't have to be worried whether the man got hurt or caught or died anymore. Because the said devil was just fine. Just enjoying playing with all of his prey.

Those words didn't hurt Kongpob as much as they did in the beginning. It was like he was getting accustomed to Arthit and all his ways. He placed the note inside of a cabinet with all the other notes.

Kongpob kept them as proof for whenever he might need them. But he had enough, he had plenty. From months and months ago to today. But he couldn't get himself to go and hand Arthit in.

Would it even work? Arthit was rich and a respectable figure. And Kongpob was just a poor, unknown orphan. Yeah. There wasn't a way anyone would believe Kongpob. And Kongpob was okay with that because he wasn't going to report anyway.

What would he even say as a reply to why he waited so long. And Arthit would ruin him. Take all of his chances of having any type of future. And Arthit was more than capable.

And Arthit was capable of much more than Kongpob could think of. And Arthit was mad. Kongpob closed the cabinet and went down to sit on his bed. Fearing his legs may give up if he stood any longer.

And soon he couldn't feel his legs. He was feeling so weak and he could feel his whole body shaking. He could feel the sweat drip down his temple and he felt so cold.

His fingertips felt so cold and numb. Kongpob gasped, he couldn't feel his hands either. He started breathing heavily and irregularly. And he was so stiff.

He could feel his stomach flipping and he was so dizzy. He curled up in bed, not bothering to cover himself. He was so cold, but he could move. He laid there, his knees to his chest, trembling with a racing heart.

And he closed his eyes tight, praying hard for some strength. For...he doesn't know what he's praying for. Just something.

Don't ask for more than you can handle...

Kongpob shook his head slightly, blinking. It kept repeating in his head like a broken record. And Kongpob wasn't stupid enough to ignore the threat.

And he felt bad because he had ditched Nathan for their date. Guessing Arthit wouldn't want HIS whore with others...

Kongpob laughed bitterly. What did he do to deserve this fate? He was always kind and compassionate to everyone. So why?

And his heart broke looking at the relieved smile on Nathan's face the next day on campus. The way Nathan had touched his forehead so gently to see if Kongpob was sick.

And his heart shattered at the pained smile when Kongpob flinched and backed away from his touch. He was a God-awful person to hurt someone like Nathan. And just sometimes, sometimes. He wished he could tell Nathan everything.

Nathan was a good person, he would've been there for Kongpob. Maybe bring down all hell. But he knew Nathan would be digging his grave. And he can't do that.

So he did what he was best at doing. He distanced himself from everyone, especially Nathan. And it hurt him seeing Nathan smile and still take care of Kongpob. Even though he hurt Nathan every day.

But it was for all of their well-being. And Kongpob was ready to lose all the people in his life to keep them safe. And be back to being alone and curling up in bed right after class.

What a life.