OKAY GUYS SO THIS IS GOING TO BE A HIDEOUSLY UNFORMATTED (not a word) AND UNORGANIZED REVIEW BECAUSE I'M JUST BESIDE MYSELF WITH STRANGE EMOTIONS AND NOTHING CAN BRING ME DOWN HONESTLY I'M LOOKING DOWN ON THE CLOOOOOUUUUUUDDSSS.

Ahem. Sorry.

But as some of you may know (and by some, I mean whoever reads my bio on the side of my profile all the way through), one of my all-time childhood loves is the film version of the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. If you haven't seen it and haven't even heard of it, it essentially follows the Bible story of Jacob's twelve sons, one of whom is the lovely Joseph aka Jacob's favorite. And long story short, Jacob gives Joseph a multi-colored robe/coat because he loves him so much and Joseph is all happy and goes on to describe dreams he's had and what they could mean, and his eleven brothers are jealous and decide to get rid of him, and so on. Just look up the Bible story so that I don't have to give the whole plot away.

Anyway, I grew up absolutely adoring that movie. Donny Osmond played Joseph (and can we discuss how attractive he was in that movie like EXCUSE ME) and Maria Friedman played the narrator who was quirky and kind of sassy and just cute. If you enjoy musicals and you haven't seen this one, I highly recommend watching it. Like...I feel like it's very important that everyone see this musical. And seriously, I shipped Joseph and the narrator together before I even knew what shipping was, and anyone who has grown up watching it like I have will agree. Which is super funny in hindsight because the narrator obviously wasn't there at the time that the story took place and there were no romantic relationships between them anyway but? I don't know. Watch and see what I mean.

As a wee young child, little Carissa used to stand in front of the TV screen in my underwear and sing and dance along to all of the songs in that movie, whether I knew the words or not. If you knew me in real life right now, you'd understand why that is actually hilarious. I don't sing, I don't dance -- I hardly even talk in front of other people now. But as a child, I was so into that kind of stuff. So anyway, along with the musical CATS (also by Andrew Lloyd Webber), Joseph was kind of my life.

When I was in the 7th grade, my sister's 5th grade band director who also happened to be my best friend's mom got them all tickets to go see CATS live, like the Broadway performance, and I was SO jealous. So I kind of made my friend ask his mom if we could go, and then my mom wanted to come because like I said, my childhood. We got to go, and I legit started tearing up during the overture and then the opening number gets going and I begin to full-on weep because I was just so happy to be there and it was honestly a surreal experience to be able to watch that musical live. I don't think I'll ever properly be able to put the feeling into words, but it was kind of like my childhood coming to back to life and...yeah.

So fast-forward to my freshman year of college, and my roommate (Maria), our friend Alexis, and me are all just casually doing what college students do, going to see visiting writers to get our requirements filled. This happens to take place in the basement of a major performing arts hall that's located on my campus, so as we're exiting the building they obviously have big banners/posters hanging up for whatever shows are being put on there during the year, and do you know what I saw, friends? A freaking Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat poster, that's what I saw. I froze immediately, began making incoherent noises, and then took a picture of it. I texted everyone I know, told them how excited I was, and then made plans to go see it even if I had to go alone.

It turned out that wouldn't be happening. Me going, that is. My family couldn't afford the tickets (which were like, really expensive?), and my friend who always offers to loan me money was broke at the moment as well. I made myself forget about it, and once April finally rolled around, it wasn't even on my mind anymore. Then LITERALLY LAST NIGHT I received a text message from my friend Chelsea (who is the only other person I know here who has seen the musical and loves it) (apart from Maria, but only because we had to make her watch it) who said that she found out that tomorrow (aka today) the tickets would be half off for students and that she'd buy my ticket if I'd go with her. And I think she expected I'd say no because I'm normally not into letting people buy me things, but I said yes without a second thought because duh.

So I got to go.

To see Joseph.

And guess what.

I cried.

Not a lot. Not nearly as much as I did when I saw CATS, but guys, I definitely was hardcore tearing up during the first/second song. I truly couldn't believe it was even possible that not only would I get to see my first childhood love, but also my second. The two musical films I grew up watching so often that I knew every word to every song and most of the dances (that were possible for a little, like, three-year-old to do). The two musical films that give me so much joy that I still listen to the music now; they've got their own playlists on my iPod and everything. Guys. GUYS. This happened to me.

There was a teeny tiny part of me that was sort of worried that I wouldn't enjoy the live performance of Joseph because of how much I loved the movie, though. Because if you've seen the movie you'd know that the first scene begins in a little gymnasium filled with what look like Catholic school children, all pretty young, and the narrator storms in late and walks onto the stage and begins singing Any Dream Will Do (which, if you don't know it, go look it up because even people who have never seen the musical know this song guys), and then fog fills the floor of the gymnasium and Joseph casually walks through the back door and begins singing as well, and the children are like a cute little choir, and then the kids end up joining Joseph and the narrator on stage shortly after, and like...that can't exactly be done in a live performance. And I LOVE the beginning of the movie, so I was very worried about the play to be totally honest. But I'll tell you how it ended up going down.

It starts with Ace Young aka Joseph lying in a bed and dreaming (there's a screen that shows you his dreams and it was very confusing because he was dreaming of trains at one point and me and Chelsea were like, they didn't have trains in Biblical Canaan so why...), and then he ends up waking up and quickly dressing for school. So it was a modern setting. And I was baffled at this point but was also keeping an open mind. The narrator aka Diana DeGarmo is singing the Prologue, and I was also wary of her voice at first because it just didn't seem like it'd have the range that it ended up having, so I was like, how the heck does she plan on hitting all the high notes in these songs? But don't worry, her voice ended up ROCKING MY SOCKS OFF.

Joseph didn't really get to sing much of Any Dream Will Do, though, unlike the movie where he sang most of it, so I will admit that if there was anything I didn't like about the live performance, it was that. But moving on.

So yeah, the narrator is singing and she's basically telling Joseph it's cool to be a dreamer and then all of a sudden the set turns into Canaan. I don't know if that means we're supposed to consider the entire Bible story a dream that this guy (Joseph) is having or what, but I was down with it. Ace Young was surprisingly attractive in school clothes.

The other eleven brothers were fabulous. Seriously, despite the roles they play in the actual plot, they were much more likable in the play than in the movie. And they could all dance and sing like rockstars and I just thoroughly enjoyed all of them so much. In fact, the song that I liked the least in the movie -- Those Canaan Days -- ended up being one of my favorite numbers because they were so great. They added humor of course and better choreography and just in general, that performance was magnificent. It received the loudest applause from the audience too, like, louder than the finale did.

Oh, there was one other thing I was slightly disappointed in as well. The Pharaoh. I've no idea who played him and I'm too lazy to look it up, but I just... His Elvis impersonation seemed too forced and it made it difficult for him to actually sing well, so he sounded like he was all over the place most of the time. And then he didn't sing the high note at the end of the song, which MIGHT just be a movie thing (because, you know, they do things in the film version that aren't done in the live performances), but I was SO UPSET he didn't do it. But I guess in this guy's defense...it's basically impossible to compete with Robert Torti (Zack and Cody's dad on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody...yeah I "flipped my lid" too) (that reference is hilarious if you've seen this musical LOL). Like, Robert Torti is actual perfection in that movie -- guys, if you don't see it for any other reason, do it just to see Zack and Cody's dad dressed as a VERY attractive Pharaoh singing and dancing and impersonating Elvis. But yeah, so I mean, it's understandable that this new guy was a bit disappointing...my standards were set too high.

Moving on, I also want to talk about what I thought of Ace Young's voice. I mean, take a look at the photo I included with this review. He LOOKS like a Joseph, there's no doubt. He definitely looks the part. And he can sing very well. But the surprising thing is that not only does his voice not project (like at all), it's also a little nasally. Not in a bad way or even an annoying way; I actually enjoyed it a lot. It's just that I'm really surprised he landed the lead role in a Braodway play because it is not a leading role voice. At all. I sort of wished he was able to project a little bit more, because especially in the final numbers when everything was getting all intense and the music was super loud, it was almost hard to hear him singing. But he pulled off Close Every Door with pizazz, guys, like I was very pleasantly surprised by that performance. Also his smile is utterly adorable.

Speaking of adorable: Ace Young and Diana DeGarmo (the narrator) are married in real life. That makes shipping them totally allowed this time. Even if it makes no sense in the context of the musical's plot.

All in all, I visited Heaven tonight, guys. I haven't been this happy in a long time, and it's all because of this ridiculous musical that is sort of a joke in the best way possible, and everything is rainbows and glitter for me right now. Chelsea also bought me a T-shirt as an early birthday present and I kid you not I'm going to demand that they dress me in it for my funeral.

If you have not seen Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, I recommend it. A lot. The songs are all catchy as heck, it's put together very well, and it's actually funny. I've noticed the humor so much more now that I'm older, but seriously, can you just read this lyric from one of the opening numbers: "I look handsome, I look smart! I am a walking work of art!" This is sung by Joseph after he receives his coat. Like...full of yourself much? I literally laugh out loud every time he sings that part. And he just kind of pulls a Harry Styles and spins around in circles with this huge smile on his face as he sings about how handsome and smart he looks and I just...

Not to mention the fact that the Pharaoh is essentially Elvis. I'm sure as soon as I mentioned that earlier you guys were like ? But yeah, and then apparently one of Joseph's brothers (his name escapes me...give me a break, there were eleven of them) is also Jamaican because his musical number is a legit Jamaican jam with lyrics like this: "Benjamin is honest as coconuts."

I'll let you just try and figure that one out.

It's a great musical, though, as is CATS. I know a lot of people make fun of that one, and for the life of me I can't figure out why. Sure, it's a musical about cats...what did you expect? The choreography is fantastic, and then there's the cool little fact that the songs' lyrics are actually poems by T.S. Eliot from a collection called "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats" (a book that I now own YAY). I mean, how is that not awesome? It's awesome. Just watch it.

This is a crazy long review/rant, or whatever this actually is, but I'm very passionate about these things. I'd apologize if I was sorry.

If you've seen either of these musicals, let me know below! I'm super curious to know if I'm alone in this world when it comes to loving both of them (even if you didn't love them, still let me know so I can talk to you about them -- at least you've seen them). Other than that, I've got nothing more to say.

Oh, just kidding:

"Some folks dream of the wonders they'll do before their time on this planet is through. Some just don't have anything planned. They hide their hopes and their heads in the sand. Now I won't say who is wrong, who is right, but if by chance you are here for the night, then all I need is an hour or two to tell the tale of a dreamer like you. We all dream a lot; some are lucky, some are not. But if you think it, want it, dream it, then it's real. You are what you feel.

But all that I say can be told another way -- in the story of a boy whose dream came true...and he could be you."

(That would be the Prologue in the musical, sung by the narrator. She sings it on stage to the children before Any Dream Will Do in the movie. Thought it was inspirational. *shrugs*)

(Also I included the trailer for this tour and also the main promo poster. However, if you're interested in the movie, it's actually on YouTube. Horrible quality, but it's there.)