Me: can we talk?

Zeus: about what?

Me: about us.

Zeus: is there anything to talk about?

Me: oo, meron! aakyat ako dyan sa office mo. may meeting kaba?

Zeus: none. wait you here before i go.

Hindi ako mapakali buong maghapon. Paano ba naman si Koya Zeus mo, bumabagabag sa kalooban ko 'yong sinabi at ginawa niya sa harap ng kapatid niya na si Zeno. Hello, sino bang hindi mapapaisip. Kasi as far as I know, wala lang naman itong samin. I was trying to show off his emotion but not this way... Wait, not with this complicated way.

"Day, akyat lang ako sa taas, ha? May sasabihin lang ako kay boss," paalam ko kay Tricia, she was typing and shoo me away.

"Don't forget to bring panyo, just in case na bugahan ka niya, okay?"

"H'wag ka ngang gaga dyan. Mag-uusap kami ng kalmado ngayon."

"Weh? Si Zeus? Kalmado kapag nasa office niya? That's not possible! At alam ko na alam mo 'yon."

"Tsk. Ang dami mo nang nasasabi, sige na, akyat na ako bago mo pa mabati mood niya at magkatotoo 'yan sinasabi mo."

I was counting back and forth to distract myself. Hindi naman kasi talaga ako proud makipag-confront in person pero kasi ito ang dapat bago pa magkanda-leche-leche ang lahat at maguluhan kami pareho sa kung anong set up ba talaga ang gusto niya.

Nadaanan ko ang secretary niya, ngumiti naman siya sa'kin na parang expected na niya ang pagdating ko. Hindi narin ako kumatok sa pintuan at dumeresto papasok sa loob. And there he was, his hand resting on his chin and staring at me.

"Oh, mukhang hinihintay mo talaga ako, boss, ha?" pang-aasar ko. Inayos ko muna ang sarili ko at ni-lock ang pinto bago tuluyan umupo sa upuan na nasa harap ng table niya.

"What do you want to talk about, Alzera?" tanong niya sa'kin.

Shems. Mukhang nasa mood ngayon si Zeus dahil kalmado nga siya at napagaan ng aura niya.

Itinaas ko ang kilay ko. "Let's talk about us. Kasi you know, kanina, medyo naguluhan ako sa inaasal mo."

He raised his eyebrow too, mimicking my move. "Anong dapat pag-usapan tungkol kanina, Alzera? You are my 'fiance' wala ba akong karapatan na umakto ng ganon sa harap ng kapatid ko?" he said, observing my reaction.

Napaisip ako ng saglit at humarap sakanya. "Mayroon, syempre. Pero hindi ka umaakto ng ganon kapag tayong dalawa lang. Nagsimula lang 'yon nung kinakausap na ako ni Zeno, wait, teka, sandali, ito ang tanong ko sa'yo."

His body relaxed, at dinantay ang likod nito sa swivel chair na inuupuan. He looked so freaking chill. What's up with his mood?

I cleared my throat. "Nagseselos kaba sa kapatid mo, Zeus?"

Akala ko tinaasan na niya ako ng kilay noong una. Pero mas tumaas lalo ang kilay ni Zeus Esqueza. Unbelievable. Obvious naman 'yong kilos niya pero bakit ramdam ko na mag-de-deny siya?

"I'm not, and never will be. Zeno is my brother and also my bestfriend. He's just like that to everyone. Kaya kung sa tingin mo nagseselos ako dahil sakanya, hindi, Alzera. You got your conclusion very wrong."

"Hoy, Zeus, ha. Bawal magsinungaling. Alam ko kung ano 'yong nararamdaman ko at the moment that time."

He shook his head. "You got my answer. It's up to you if you will believe it or not. Totoo 'yong sinabi ko sa'yo na kung gusto mo si Zeno, ako pa mismo ang maghahatid sayo sakanya, all you have to do is to tell me."

I crossed my hands, still not believing his alibi. "Pero may pa-sweet sweet na ganap ka kapag andyan siya? Take note, bessy. Never mong hinalikan ang kamay ko."

"Because I want you."

I want you.

Natahimik ako.

I want you.

Napakurap ako.

I want you.

Bumilis ang pagtibok ng puso ko.

I want you.

Unti-unti rumerihistro sa isip ko ang sinabi niya. He what? Want me? "What the fuck, Zeus! Hindi kasi tayo joke time rito, gusto ko 'yong seryosong usapan. Tapos gaganyan ka?"

He was smiling. OH. He was freaking smiling! I know, nagba-blush na ako sa harap niya kahit iba ang lumalabas sa bibig ko. It's been awhile since I get this kilig like this with someone. . .nakalimutan ko nga kung paano lumandi, nagkakasapot na nga ako sa sobrang tagal. Tapos bigla siyang babanat ng ganyan?

"What's not to like about you, Alzera? I'm a man, you're a woman. Clearly, I respect you as my forced fiance, so I don't have any option to fuck other woman."

For the second time fucking around. Natulala ako. I know, I know, I should be ashame of myserlf, dahil imbis na mainis ako sakanya, na-flutter ako dahil sobrang tagal na since na naranasan ko 'yon. Sobrang tagal na talaga. As in. Matagal. Gubat na. May ahas na. May mga kuliglig nadin na naninirahan.

"Zeus, wait ha. H'wag kang dere-deretso sa sinasabi mo, say it slowly, mahihimatay ako sa mga naririnig ko sa'yo."

"What, then? I'm just telling you what I think. Hindi kapaba sanay sa pagiging straightforward ko?" he tilted his head.

Gosh. Gosh. Gosh. What did I get myself into? Hindi ako prepare sa ganitong conversation. Gusto ko lang i-clear out ang mga bagay-bagay samin dalawa. And now, here he was?

"You're giving me a proposal," sabi ko sakanya.

He smirked, getting my point. "Proposal. Yes, we call it that. I'm giving you one of a hell proposal."

"Proposal." Napalunok ako. Kasi iniisip ko palang, hindi na mapakali ang katawan ko. "Are you sure, you are offering me that? Nung last time lang, halos bulyawan mo ako at hindi kinakausap tapos ngayon, you. . .you. . .you're offering yourself to me?"

I'm not the conservative type. My friends were in FUBU relationship. It didn't work out to them and they both agreed to end it. Ganon naman 'yon eh, either hindi niyo talaga mapalabas ang love sa isa't isa kaya you are after sex that's all. It's human nature to crave for that unless of course, you're still not in the right age. Kailangan mong magpigil.

"Last night, nung umalis ako. I went to the bar I normally go when I feel the need to release something inside me. But then I think of you, and it will be unfair if I do that to you. So now, I'm asking you this, do you want that proposal?" he talked like a businessman, like there was a reward if I agree to this.

Huminga ako ng malalim bago pakawalan ang salita na nasa isip ko. "How about we mind our own business while doing that proposal, fair exchange?"

"You are my business and this is my proposal," sabi niya at tumayo papunta sa likod ko.

I blushed. Bakit bigla siyang bumabanat ng ganito? Wala naman sa katawan ni Zeus 'yon? Sinaniban ba siya? Hinawakan niya ako balikat. Shit. Mas lalo akong kinabahan sa ginawa niya. Wala pa pero kinakabahan na ako sa presensya niya, sa paghawak niya sa'kin, sa pakiramdam ng katawan niya na malapit sa'kin.

Pumikit ako ng marahan at dinadaman ang kamay niya na nakapatong sa'kin. Kahit ito lang muna, solve na ang pagkatao ko. "Sex is not a business, Zeus, and so am I."

"But are you willing to risk, just this once? Hindi ako nag-e-expect ng kahit ano sayo, Alzera. I just want you, that's it, and I know we're clear about that. I know you want me, too."

Tumango ako at nakahinga na ng maluwag nang tanggalin niya ang kamay sa balikat ko. He sat infront of me and crossed his legs. "Let's give you an option, truth or dare?"

"A what?" naguluhan ako lalo sa sinabi niya. Akala niya ba naglalaro kami rito?

"Truth or dare, Alzera," there was a ghost smile on his lips.

Well, may pagka-kinky ang isang Zeus Esqueza, hindi ako sanay na ganito siya. He was always getting on my nerves, shouting at me and ignoring me. Tapos ngayon? May palaro si Mayor? What the hell. I wonder saan niya ito nakuha?

I bit my lip. "Truth," I answered. "It's better than dare, right?" tanong ko dahil kinakabahan ako sa mga susunod na mangyayari kapag namali ako ng sagot sakanya.

Ngumiti siya ng bahagya sa'kin. "Truth then, ayoko talagang nakikita ka na malapit kay Zeno, it's affecting my ego. What's mine first should always be mine. I'm a selfish man when it comes to my woman. Ayoko na may humahawak sa kanila o nagpapakilig sa kanila kung hindi ako lang." he raised his hand. "How about you, Alzera, what's the truth?"

Hindi pa ako nakaka-recover sa mga sinabi niya. Wait. This. Is. Too. Much. To. Absorb. Hindi ko akalain na may ganitong banatan si Zeus, at hindi ako sanay. Hindi ko alam kung paano mag-re-react sa sinasabi niya. What's the meaning of this?

"Sige," tangong sagot ko. "Magpapakatotoo ako rito, I want you, too. Pero hindi 'yong gusto na mapangasawa talaga. You seem much of a trouble, and I don't want something like that in my life. I want a normal one without chaos. Kaya lang din ako pumayag dahil pinangako ng parents mo ang future ko at ng pamilya ko. It's for my family, nothing more. Sana hindi ka galit sa sinabi ko."

He cocked his head. He didn't look shock to my confession neither angry. I wonder kung may nagsabi na ba sakanya ang deal ko sa parents niya. Because if I were him, I would be mad.

"Truth? I knew about that already. It's not the first time they control my life, they did that ten years ago and now they're doing it again. I don't mind anymore. They're my parents, I respect them, I know, they only want what's best for me. Now ask me the truth or dare question."

Para akong nagpa-palpitate sa usapan namin. Nakalimutan ko na atang huminga o saan ilalabas ang hangin na nanggagaling sa katawan. I forgot how to move or even how to blink. I was really shocked. I never saw him like this before.

And now, he was telling me to ask me that truth or dare question. What the fuck. This was the end of the proposal. I know what he was thinking and I'm not yet prepared for it. Hindi ako mabango ngayon at lalong hindi ako handa.

Tumayo si Zeus sa harap ko. He was extending his hand to mine, asking me to stand up. But I couldn't, my legs were noodles. Hindi ako makakatayo ng hindi nanginginig. "Come on, Alzera. Don't stop the fun."

I looked at him straight in the eyes. Nanginginig ang mga kamay ko pati narin ang boses ko. "T-truth or dare, Zeus."

Hinatak niya ang kamay ko, it was the end, end of everything. "Dare," he said.