"I don't know what to do, Blake." He didn't reply to me. "He's going to go after them again. I don't want him to get hurt."

The continuous beeping was the only response.

"Kendall had to be sedated again." Silence. "She is really worried about you. She was the entire time you were gone. You were all she could think about."

More Silence.

"Chase kissed me." Beeping. "I threw up." More beeping.

"I wish I could care about him the way Kendall worries about you," I whispered. My head hurt and my chest ached even more.

"I wish we could get along the way you do. Kendall looks at you like you're her life. You look so in love when you look at her." My eyes burned.

"He's not going to hurt me. I know he won't. Not physically, anyways." More damned silence.

"Blake, he gets so jealous and upset. I'm more worried for Leo's safety than mine." More damned beeping.

"Did Leo do this to you, Blake?"

My mind was clouded with so many worries, questions, trapped tears, and the memories of the constant fighting Chase and I have been in for the past week.

"He thinks he's fighting for something worth his life. He won't tell me what it is. He won't tell anyone."

"I just want to understand why, Chase!"

"You won't ever understand, Macey!"

"I wish you would just wake up. Maybe you could help."

"It's too dangerous!"

"You're dangerous. That hasn't stopped me."

"Kendall needs you. I think we all need you."

"I need you, Macey. But you don't need anyone."

"I need him to understand how scared I am, Blake. He just doesn't realize."

Silence and beeping.

Sighing, I forced myself out of my chair. I had been sitting in the same chair for the past week, practically everyday, for hours at a time.

At first, the silence was a nice place after the yelling. Now, the silence was pulling, magnifying, the loneliness I had been falling too. Chase had been coming to bed hours after dark, not speaking to me even when I was waiting, awake.

"I'll probably be back tomorrow. Thanks again, Blake." Leaning down, I left a soft kiss on his right cheek. His left one had a scar.

I turned to face the door. I froze.

"You've been there how long?" I asked.

Chase shoved his hands into his pockets. "Only long enough to see you give my best friend a kiss."

"Are you going to get jealous over that as well?"

"I was only teasing, Macey."

We both stayed in place, tense in the awkward silence. It felt as if minutes had past before I buckled.

"I've got to go check on Kendall."

"You never check on Kendall." Chase blocked the doorway. "Only Blake."

"You've been keeping tabs on me?"

"The nurses told me." Anger surged through me. "I didn't ask them to. They were worried." The anger dimmed.

"Chase, can I please go?" I practically begged. I was too drained to fight.

I saw the hesitation in his face. In fact, I could feel the desperation seeping off of him. His hands were no long in his pockets and I saw him flex his fingers then tighten them into a fist.

"I'll see you for dinner?" He asked. Dinner wasn't for another four hours.

"I'll let Adrian know you'll be joining us tonight." I had taken up a new habit of eating dinner at the dining room table with many other women and men every night. It was odd at first, and the first few nights were strange. However, it now felt good to have a few women and Penelope, occasionally Kendall, to relax with after long days. Many of the women had even taken it upon themselves to bring me clothes, mainly dresses even though it was almost December, saying it was unacceptable the Chase hadn't done so himself.

I walked out of the hospital building and towards the jeep Chase had first driven me here in. I stood at the door of it, my hand clutching the handle. Minutes passed.

My hand slowly released the lever. I would be walking back today.

I pulled tighter the jacket Penelope had given me just before I left to see Blake. It wasn't enough to keep all of the cold out of my arms.

The cooling air bit my face. I knew my lips were getting chapped lately, and I found myself wondering if that was a reason Chase wouldn't kiss me. Maybe, I thought, I should ask Penelope for some chapstick.

By the time I made it to the pack house, Mark was waiting outside the front door. He nodded at me and followed me inside.

"You haven't had to guard me for a week. Why now?" I stopped my search for Penelope and turned to face my guard.

"I have. Just not openly," Mark replied.

"So Chase is spying on me." It wasn't a question and Mark didn't answer it as one.

"We don't know if the rouge group is going to attack or not. He's only taking precautions. He didn't want you to feel overwhelmed by knowing I'm there all the time," Mark explained.

I looked at Mark. I tried to find anything in him that could give me some answers. There were too many questions running through my mind to go about this secretly.

"Are you a Targeter?" I asked. Mark's eyes widened and in a split second, he was gripping my arm and yanking me up the stairs. He moved at such a speed that I could barely keep myself from tripping. In what felt like seconds, he was slamming the door to his bedroom.

"Where did you hear that? Who knows?" Mark's voice was strained and barely above a whisper.

"Chase mentioned-"

"Chase knows?" Mark's face went pale.

"No. I was asking him his theory on Heath and Penelope. I think he thought I meant Heath was a...a Targeter." The word, since I didn't know it's meaning, was foreign to me.

Mark was pacing now, tugging at his hair and growling softly under his breath.

"Last time you got mad around me it didn't turn out good," I recalled. Mark didn't reply. He sat down on the end of his bed, dropping his head into his hands.

"Macey, Chase cannot know about me. He can't. You have to promise me." I didn't reply soon enough and Mark stood up quickly. He stared down at me, desperation clear in his eyes. "Please."

"Tell me what it is," I commanded. Mark sighed and began to open his mouth before snapping it closed.

"Chase is asking me where you are."

"Is he here?" I almost groaned.

"Yes."

"I better go to him. He won't be happy about us being in here." Mark followed me out of his room but not down the staircase. I was familiar with the array of the large house after the few months of being here, and could now easily find my way back to the entry way and front room.

Chase was just walking out of the kitchen.

"There you are," he sighed.

"Should I be worried the first place you checked was the kitchen?" I teased, trying to keep calm and ignore my racing heart.

I can't let on about Mark.

Chase cleared his throat. "I've got to talk with you. Would you like to now or after dinner?"

"Now's fine," I answered. Dinner would be hours away and I couldn't wait that long.

Chase swallowed hard and held out his hand, silently asking for mine. His actions were suspicious to me but I slowly put my hand in his.

He led me to his office.

"Chase, what is this about?" I didn't give him time to walk to his desk. I didn't want this to be a meeting, I wanted my mate to talk to me.

"I've decided. My men and I are headed out two days from tonight."

"You can't. You've almost lost Blake and you're going to risk another?" I could feel my head aching again. "What about the man they have on the inside? What if he's warned them?" I needed some excuse for him not to go.

"No one knows I've decided this. I won't tell them until we are leaving."

"Why two nights from now?"

"Full moon. We will be stronger, even if it's only by a small amount."

"What if I go into heat again?"

"You won't."

"You said that the first time!"

"Macey, I'm positive."

"What if my brother comes for me? If you aren't here, then I can't convince him that I need to stay. He'll force me to leave," I rambled. I just needed some excuse.

Chase's eyes grew harder and I could feel his irritation. He grumbled and bit down on his lip. "Can you not? You are only making this harder on me."

My throat felt like it had been constricted. My chest ached again. "You're making it harder by leaving without reason."

"It's not without reason!" Chase snapped. My feet stepped backwards on their own accord. His eyes closed momentarily in defeat. "I don't mean to scare you."

We stood there and I began to feel ashamed of my fear. I was raised to be strong, only scared when I absolutely had to be to understand that i had the disadvantage. However, Chase was my mate. I was made to love him right? I was made to be with him, not to fear him.

"I don't mean to be afraid." My voice was light and friendly. I hoped to lighten the air and assumed I did so when Chase smiled softly. "How long will you be gone for?"

"I don't know. It's could be hours. I could be gone for days. I would bet more on days." My disappointment caught Chase's attention.  "I have to defend the pack, Macey. I have to go and I can't wait any longer than two days." He reached out and relaxed when I didn't pull away from him. His hand traced my arm. "Let's say your brother does come. Okay? Don't give him any trouble. Please, I'm begging you, don't give him reason to kill anyone here."

I accepted his request, and felt downright humiliated that I was hurt in how easy he would give me up. Was I not just as important as his pack?

"I swear, I'll find you if it happens. I won't stop until I do, Macey." His words reassured me. I felt my body moving closer to him, being drawn closer.

"Is this why you've been bitchy for the past week?" I asked. My eyes fell onto his lips when he smiled a crooked grin.

"I know it's been difficult on you. I could feel your emotions through some of it."

"Is that why you came to the hospital today?" My hands reached out and held onto his waist.

Chase rubbed up and down my arms. His breathing was getting deeper. "You felt so lost. You felt alone. God, I can't believe I let you feel that way." His voice was getting lower. "I can't believe the way I've been acting."

"What do you mean?" I felt myself leaning backwards, trying to put space between us. "We were both arguing with each other."

Chase sighed. "I don't know. I was pushing you away. I just feel like I should have been more patient with you." He gently pulled me to be closer to him again. I resisted.

"What do you mean by more patient? I hadn't done anything wrong?"

"Macey," Chase scoffed, "you have to have realized that my wolf side reacts when I find you with other males. I can't help that he does."

"I only talk with them. Most of them have mates."

"They don't all have mates. And they don't all have very innocent minds."

"I've done nothing wrong with any of the men here. Besides, if I had, it's not like you've given me a reason not to."

Chase's hands fell from my arms. "What, exactly, are you insinuating?" His voice was deeper in a less alluring way now.

"You are impulsive-"

"I am. It gets things done," Chase interrupted me, his voice turning cold. I ignored his comment.

"And you've been distant. How am I supposed to feel towards you like a mate when I've known you for almost three months, yet we never kissed but once?"

"Are you honestly blaming me for that?" Chase's voice came out with disbelief and a slight amount of anger.

"You're the one who's ego is too wounded to get past that one kiss!"

"My ego isn't wounded!"

"Then why won't you-"

My words were taken from me as I was pulled hard against my mates body and brought into a sloppy, opened mouth kiss. I immediately gasped and Chase didn't hesitate to use my parted lips to his advantage. His hands were holding my waist firmly against him, but one slowly crawled up my back and into my hair. His fingers knotted into my hair.

It wasn't the most romantic kiss I had experienced, but it made my mind cloud and my toes curl. My breath was being sucked out of me in the most mesmerizing way. His finger tips left warmth and sparks all over my body, sending my nerves on high alert with every small brush against my skin.

My fingers hooked into Chase's belt loops and pulled. My eyes dropped closed as I succumbed to my mates touch.

Chase groaned softly when I pulled out of the kiss. He didn't let me even an inch away from his body as he dropped from my mouth to my jaw. His lips kissed their way down my neck before finding a place that made my knees go weak. His mark.

"Chase," I whispered breathlessly. What was meant to be a command to stop only encouraged my mate to press me against the office door.

"Chase, please," I tried to push against his shoulders, but only managed to latched tightly to his shirt. Chase moaned and pressed his pelvis into me, alerting me of how prepared he was.

"Macey," Chase moaned again and I had to force my mind to clear. The assault Chase continued on my mark had to stop if I was going to gain control of this situation again.

"No, Chase, stop." I ordered. He hummed and rubbed his body against mine. "Chase, stop!"

His hands froze and his slowly dragged his mouth off my neck. He pushed against the door so he was standing an arms length away from me. Our bodies were no longer touching.

"I..." Chase tried to calm his breathing. "I'm so sorry."

"I don't want an apology," I whispered back.

"You asked me to stop. I-I should been able to-"

"Have you ever had sex, Chase?" I interrupted. I felt his body tense and saw a blush begin to rise on his lowered cheeks.

"I wanted to wait for my mate," Chase whispered. He shook his head. "I still should have been able to stop when you first asked."

"Chase, I didn't want to stop when I first asked. I just knew we needed to," I tried to reassure my wounded mate.

"Have you-" He hesitated in his question, like he didn't want to know the answer. "Have you ever..."

"No, Chase. I wasn't ready for it at the time I was with Leo," I answered. He visibly relaxed.

"Why weren't you?" I knew he was fishing for some kind of reassurance that I really didn't want to have sex with his third in command.

"I didn't love him enough to be ready for it. I knew I was too young and I knew I had to be reasonable."

"Reasonable," Chase repeated.

"I don't like having to be reasonable with you."

"That's good to know," Chase chuckled. He rested his forehead on mine and closed his eyes. For a few minutes, I was blissfully happy. Blissfully ignorant.

"You've been distancing yourself," I whispered.

Way to ruin the moment, Macey.

I scowled at myself as Chase straightened himself. "It was hard facing you. It's hard being around you, period."

A sense of hurt pricked at me. "Why?"

"Knowing that I had decided to leave made it difficult to not tell you. I was worried how you would react," Chase explained. I waited for him to continue, and he knew I wanted more for his second statement.

"Please, don't make me say it," Chase muttered. Again, a blush rose to his cheeks. It was barely detectable. "I'm a fully grown man, Macey. You're my mate. My body reacts to you a certain way that isn't easy to handle on my own."

Slowly, my own blush forced its way onto my face. My lips lifted into a grin. "Oh," was all I could say. Chase laughed.

"Yeah, oh."

We settled into a peaceful quiet for a few minutes, in which Chase's eyes began to drop down to my lips again. I found myself smiling, and not being able to stop. "No, Chase."

"It's your fault for letting me in the first place." He leaned closer again.

"I need to contact my brother." That stopped him immediately.

Chase sighed and stood up straight. He looked at me, basically drilling through me with his green eyes, and said nothing for too long. It made me overly uncomfortable.

"Chase, you have to know that he needs to hear from me. How would you feel if I went missing for three months and the last thing you heard from me was a cry for help?" I tried to reason.

He stayed silent.

His silence lead to my silence and, once again, we only watched each other. Chase chewed momentarily on his lower lip before sighing again and rubbing his hand against his cheek.

"Please," I whispered. My mouth burned from sounding so desperate and I felt humiliated at having to do so.

"It's too big of a risk," Chase whispered. He looked just as desperate as I felt.

I missed Kane.

"I'll be careful."

"No, Macey. I can't risk it," Chase insisted. He turned his back to me and walked to sit behind his desk.

"You can't risk me not! He's going to track me to here at some point and you don't want that."

"You're right." Chase captured me eyes with his gaze. "I don't want that. I also don't want to risk him tracking you to wherever you call him from."

"We can go into the city and I'll use a pay phone," I offered. Chase scoffed.

"There isn't a city with a pay phone anywhere around here. I don't have time to get you there before-"

"Before you leave again," I finished. Chase frowned.

"You still aren't happy with me."

"I never will be," I teased. Chase grinned.

"We can talk about this when I have more time and less worries," Chase assured me. I didn't buy into it and immediately spoke my thoughts.

"I can go. By myself," I offered. Chase immediately shot it down. "Then send Mark with me."

"I need him for the fight," Chase refused.

"Send Heath! Penelope said he isn't much of a fighter!"

Chase scoffed. "That's not a lie."

"Chase," I pressed.

"No! You will not be leaving without me by your side. I'm not risking it!" Chase slammed his hands on his desk and stood up. He was fuming. His eyes were shifting to black.

Tension once again filled the room.

"You don't think I'll come back." I could barely speak what I knew Chase was worrying. Suddenly I felt embarrassed, humiliated, and like less of a mate than I should be.

Every male I've had a discussion with during my time with this pack was completely faithful. Every one of them trusted, loved, and practically worshipped their mate. And every female has acted in a way that deserved it. At first, I felt like it was downgrading for the women to cook constantly for their mates. Then I found out they did so much more. They fed the pack, sure, but they also kept the pack running. They kept the peace when things got tough and made sure that the families were held together. They made sure this pack was held together, as one family.

Yet my mate couldn't trust me to not run away from him the first chance I got. And I had given him every reason to think that way.

Chase opened his mouth to speak, but I was turning and practically sprinting out the office door before he could.

Finding Penelope was the first option I considered, but then I remembered how prepped she was to hold a Luna position and she became the last person I wanted to see.

I searched for Kendall.