Chapter 5: Kneel and Beg

"Daddy, kahit ngayon lang..." I cried in front of them, begging for him to accept me today. I don't really know what's inside me which pushes my tears to cry even more. My Mom is just looking at me emotionless.

Daddy went in front of me, coldy cast a glimpse  before letting out a sigh. "I don't need you here, Levina. Ayaw kong makita ka rito," he said as if it is the final words from him. Hindi ko makita ang ngiti sa labi niya na noon ko pa man hiniling na masilayan.

Palagay ko, bumagsak na ang mundo ko. Umalis si Prince at hindi ko alam kung kailan siya babalik. And I came to my family, begging for them to accept me for the last time,  but...I was nothing wait there! Daddy shooed me away! At ang masakit pa do'n, hindi niya na raw ako kailangan.

Dahil sa sobrang hindi ako makapaniwala sa sinabi niya, muli akong humarap. I hugged his legs while he was about to walked away me. "Daddy, kahit ngayon lang...piliin niyo naman ako." Humagulhol ako sa harapan niya, samantalang si Mommy namin ay pumasok na sa loob ng bahay ni hindi ako kinausap. Gusto ko ring marinig ang boses niya, pero... tinalikuran na niya ako.

Dad shook his head and raised his legs. "Wala kang mapapala sa 'min, Levina. You have already won! Aren't you happy that you already forgot us? Bakit ayaw mo na lang maghanap ng ibang tahanan? 'Yong kaya kang pahalagahan at ibibigay lahat ng pangarap mo," he said while his fists clenched. Hindi pa rin ako tumayo at muling ibinagsak ang tingin sa lupa. "From now on, forget about us. Go away, Levina. Find your home. Be happy and live well." My heart tightened to what he said.

Dad finally went inside to our old house, without a trace of happiness. Ilang beses akong kumatok sa pintuan para lang pagbuksan pero wala!

It shattered my heart! What a beautiful story of mine! Those who loves me are the person who experienced the same as mine.

"God! I thought we were the gift to our family? A gift which everyone will loves, value and kept. But why am I so miserable? Why am I wasted and dump?" I shouted amidst the dark way back to the place I used to cry, the Cassanova where Amor betrayed me. I look like a zombie, walking so weak both physically and mentally.

I almost slip when I reached the mossy yet abandoned place. Nilagpasan ko lang ang lugar na madilim at napadpad naman ako rito sa lugar kung saan walang kabahayan.

"Levina, this is the better place for you," I said to myself, chin was up and managed to be brave. I walked towards the small hut. Not really too small, but it was perfect for couples.

Tingnan mo! Dahil sa sobrang pag-iyak ko, akalain ko bang ihahatid ako ng aking mga paa sa perpektong lugar na inilaan para sa akin? Masyadong mayabong ang nga punong-kahoy ngunit sa likod ng mga punong 'yon ay ang pinakamadilim na lugar kung saan ako unang nasaktan.

That was place...is the place where I was almost killed by the Phoenix group. I thought that there is monsters at night, I was mistaken of creating thought about it. The real monster is... the problems I've always encountered.

Sucks! Whatever happens to me, I will accept it. I know that my past hunted me now. Agony leashes me that's why I couldn't sail further. My past is dark, my future is darker but...my present is the darkest.

I leaned myself on the small wall made of bamboo. I laid my legs on the floor while my eyes were closed. How long it takes for me before I will going to be happy and lived in happiness?

Dahil sa sobrang pagod sa pag-iisip, nakaramdam ako ng panghihilo. Ang malamig na ihip ng hangin ay hindi nakapigil sa aking sarili upang tuluyang hayaan ang talukap na sumara.

"Vina! W-What are you doing here? Nandito ka ba para balikan ako?"

Napamulat ako nang may magsalita. Hindi ko alam kung guni-guni ko lang 'yon. Ngunit nang ibinuka ko ang aking mga mata, nagulat ako sa taong bumungad sa harapan ko.

I badly want to shout! But...is it right to do? Kung sisigaw ako dahil nandito siya, mapapawi pa kaya itong sakit sa puso? Hell, no! Hindi! Dahil iba siya sa lalaking minahal ko ngayon. Prince is better than him and I would never love my exes. I won't come back to their life.

Bumangon ako at napaupo. "What are you doing here?" I asked him while my voice is shaking.

"It was supposed to be me to asked you about that. What are you doing here if it was not...'bout me?" he asked, while confidently standing in front of me. "You're searching me, right?"

Halos sampalin ko siya sa sinabi niya. Paano kung sasabihin kong tinangay lang ako ng mga paa ko rito dahil sa lungkot? At hindi dahil sa kaniya?

"Ang kapal mo, Evo. I wouldn't come back to you," I said, pulling myself up.

"I know what happened to you, Levina. And...do you think Thalia is really dead? No! She wasn't. She came back to kill you and owned Prince," he said and laughed. Nakikita ko kung paano siya humalakhak pero kakaiba ang nagiging reaksyon niya. Iba ang dating ng boses niya. "For now, she's on France, following Prince in... disguise."

"What the fuck are you saying, Evo?! Say it wrong! Hindi totoong sinundan niya si Prince!" Pinantayan ko siya at hinampas sa dibdib.

"Go on, Sk—Levina! Hurt me until you will satisfied. If you can, do hurt or even kill me, I won't blame you." His eyes were watering and without any minutes, his tears rolling down from his eyes. "Alam mo kung gaano kasakit na makita kang masaya, Levina? Alam mo ba ang paghihirap ko, maprotektahan ka lang laban kina Archer? Laban sa Phoenix group? Siyempre hindi, 'di ba?"

I stopped hitting his chest when I felt that I am too weak to do it more.

I don't know what Evo is trying to say but...my heart wanted to hear more from him. Gusto kong may kausap at akuwentuhan. Because all I need this time is someone! Someone who will listen to my story, who will understand me and accept who really I am.

He put his hands on my shoulder which is now shaking due to the heavy tears I poured out.

"Sky, inakala mo ba na ikaw lang ang lumaban? Inakala mo ba na ikaw ang may mas madilim na karanasan? Ako rin naman, ah? Ang unfair mo lang kasi..." He paused for a while. "Noong kasama mo si P-Prince, I am sure, nakaramdam ka nang saya ro'n, tama ba?" he asked, forcing my head to nod because I can't deny that with Prince, I am happy. "Alam mo ba na hindi kita pinapansin no'n dahil binantaan ako ni Thalia na papatayin ka niya kung pinapansin kita? Alam mo ba kung bakit ka iniiwasan ng pamilya mo? Because it was made and planned by Thalia."

I nodded my head because somehow, I know something. "Go on, Evo. Tell me more! I badly want to know more about Thalia and how she played my life!"

"Naaawa ako sa 'yo no'ng birthday mo, especial day natin, naawa ako. Dahil dapat sa mga araw na 'yon, pinapasaya kita. Pero... which one is important, our especial day or our lives? Especially day...happens sometimes yet, our lives is the most important. We can't celebrate the especial days if we are not breathing anymore."

He's indeed, right?

"Bakit ngayon mo lang sa 'kin sinabi, Evo? Bakit?" Halos ibulong ko na lang ang mga katagang 'yon. Hindi ko na kaya! Babagsak na ako!

"Umalis na ako sa Phoenix and this is my hidden place. We can live here anytime... together. As if you will. While Prince is away, I'll protect you. I'll gamble my life to show you how I loved you, Levina." He tapped my shoulder and turned back. He was just wearing a white t-shirt and a black short.

Hindi ko maaaring balikan si Evo kahit nakapagpaliwanag siya. Mahal ko si Prince and that won't change.

Maybe me and Evo can live here, but not on the same roof. Total, sanay naman ako sa buhay ng mgs mahihirap, kaya ko lang siguro 'to.

"Doubt to love me, but not Prince. He's sincere. Sa kaniya mo lang nararanasan ang mahalin ka sa gitna ng panaghoy. I am proud of him, Vina." Tumalikod na si Evo sa akin bitbit ang banga. Hindi ko alam kung saan siya pupunta.

I didn't even dare to follow him because right now, I am thinking about why Thalia was still alive?! Does it mean...the government doesn't really know what exactly happened to Thalia?