October 17th - Feedback

I read all of your oneshots (the seven of them).

I thought the book was a collection of oneshots that was totally unrelated to each other that's why I was a little confused when I saw the same characters in the second oneshot.

I didn't have to force myself to read because it was pleasant and gentle. There were really cute stories, some with a sad part that rendered the characters more realistic. Thanks to that, I could relate with them pretty well: I felt sad for their past and glad they loved each other. Also, it really made sense that a soul (so your male lead in the first oneshots) can only be affected by intent and, in the fourth oneshot, the way they made love was very interesting. It was original and also my first time reading things like that.

The pacing was really good. I didn't felt the sex scenes came too quickly or too slowly and they were warm: it was the kind of romantic love that is great to read imo. The descriptions were great, those about the characters above all, and the feelings of your characters were shown at the right moment. Those parts were fluffy; it was satisfying for me since I'm a fan of fluff. For those reasons, I like your style. However, it's a pity that you don't really change the characters or their stories.

I think I would read more of your work if you could change the characters or their stories more often or show us other parts of their stories. For example, why don't you write about their first meeting? You also can write about the troubles they meet as a couple or with the prejudices others can have about them being a couple. Maybe you should also order your oneshots in chronological order if there is one so that your readers aren't confused. Crystals were really great because the characters didn't end up as a couple at the end, contrary to the ones before, and they were cute having a misunderstanding like that. I really liked to read it.

Drown

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1. What did you think the book was about? I had some questions about the back story of the characters. I know it's supposed to be fantasy, but I wish there was a little more backstory on the main character Ariel. Like what she actually is, and if they are on Earth or where the stories are taking place. The second question I had, is the one-shots Ariel's dreams or actual fantasy? I was confused.

2. Did you feel the book fulfilled your expectations? It had very well detailed scenes with great descriptions about certain moments. As I said, it left me with a few unanswered questions though.

3. What about the plot? Did it pull you in; or did you feel you had to force yourself to read the book? I read the first three one-shots, but a had to reread each chapter a few times to understand or draw my own conclusion to what was going on in the scene. The genre itself is not my favorite, but with a little tweaking, this book could be great.

4. Do the characters seem real and believable? (Basically, can you relate to their predicaments? To what extent do they remind you of yourself or someone you know, if they do at all?). I would like to know what Ariel is and more of a backstory would have been awesome on just what her species is, other than that her unrequited love (I'm questioning) was very believable.

5. How was the pacing of the chapters you read? (Consider if the scenes skipped or jumped randomly. Too fast or too slow? Why?) The build-up and detailing of the scene leading up to their coming together was very well constructed in my opinion. Spaced and timed perfectly. Some parts could even be expanded.

6. How was the description of the chapters you read? (Consider if there where any information bumps. Were there a lack of emotions, too little describing, telling rather than showing, etc.). There might have been a few grammatical errors, but I was trying to understand more about the character to pay much attention to them.

7. Describe what you liked or disliked about the writer's style? Why? The writing style is fine. Flows well, and gives great detail with certain parts of the story. Could you include more about the characters in the next one?

8. Would you read more of the author's work? It's not my usual go to read, but with a little work, and maybe some different characters from their universe I'd read some more.

Callie

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I enjoyed reading about an alien as well as the return of a man from hell. I would have loved for the stories to be longer though. Just when I began to get into them they were over. I read 4 of them and even though they were not exactly what I enjoy reading they were quite fun to explore.

I like the descriptions and the details expressed. The sensations the girl felt were clearly expressed. They were interesting.

I do not believe new ideas are as much of an issue as you might think. I think you have a lot of ideas but perhaps you are afraid to explore them. I have faith in you that you will find many ideas in the near future for more stories. Best of luck!

Nikki

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This is a sweet and heartwarming collection of stories that impressed me right away with the quality of writing. I enjoyed all of them and found those characters delightful.

I was a little lost until I understood that all characters were part of an established universe. I would recommend explaining this in the story blurb so that newcomers can find out about it, along with the fact that many are variations over a similar theme. Writing different AU/what-if scenarios with the same characters is fun and entertaining, whether the readers know of them already or not, but it can help to offer some background info at the top.

That being said like mentioned in my comments, I would mostly work on the stuttering and the 'show don't tell' aspects if I were you. Not the easiest thing, for sure, but short stories are the perfect way to exercise this.

To come up with new ideas is always difficult when the basic traits of the characters are set. You can also decide to picture situations happening later on when they are in established relationships, not just at the onset. It's totally fine to write 2-3 versions each time.

Lila

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I want to start off by saying that Medula, you are wonderful at conveying strong emotions. I love that the focus isn't the sex but there is something still very sexy about it. I know you are looking for ideas. What I would love to see if you try to write is a full novel with Varkan and Ariel. I mean a complete full-on fantasy adventure. Takes us from Ariel experience as a slave. How she meets Varkan. How they fall in love. Put them into battles. The whole nine yards. I will even beta read it for you if you write it. I think you have it you just have to take it step by step and elaborate on each step along the way. You know these characters intimately. When you know your characters the way you do that can only make your writing and storytelling all the better. You made me what to get to know these characters more which is a fantastic thing. The only suggestions to improve the writing is more showing rather than telling. Other than that I think you have a lot to work with. I hope seeing the positive reactions to your work will only encourage and give you the confidence to step outside your comfort zone because I feel that is where you will grow as a writer.

Tiffany

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I think writing one-shots is really hard. You have to put everything in just one tiny chapter. You don't have much time to let things develop, emotions need to be brought across without much explanation. And I thought the author managed to do that, especially with those characters who aren't your average human. The writing was good and drew me in, I felt the emotions in every chapter. I loved that it was about two people who don't love themselves but accept the other one's love.

What else I liked about this book was that it was kind of the same scene from different angles.

Very good dialogues.

Overall, it was a nice read and I'd even like to read more about Ariel and Varkan.

Lilly

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1. I think the short stories are written really well, you can tell that the writer has a very vivid imagination and can think of some interesting characters.

2. I would have liked to have more background on Varkan and Ariel, also I know they are short stories but I think they could be longer than a chapter.

3. The short stories are not really my preferred genre but I was drawn to the characters so much so that I think they should be in a full-length book.

4. Lastly maybe check back over the chapters that you have written because I don't know its written like it on purpose but having huge gaps between paragraphs is quite a bit off-putting.

5. I personally don't feel that the stories are particularly sexual or romantic. I mean no offense by this but I found it hard to relate as the connection between the characters was very teen like, sort of naive and too innocent for my own liking. I'm not a huge lover of straightforward romance, like she loves him, he loves her lets make love and spoon then live happily ever after I just feel like there could be more, maybe if you went more into the abuse side of Aerial, and made her a little more stand of ish because of what she's been through. I dunno just a suggestion.

6. Overall I like the characters and would like to be able to read more, I'm not a huge fan of shorts because I don't like it when I start to invest in a character or plot then it ends just as it's getting started. But I get that if that you're style then that's cool but I'd like to see how their life and journey progresses. Great shorts hope to see if they progress into full books or even slightly longer shorts.

Leanne

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At first, I thought this collection of short stories wouldn't be my cup of tea, but as I began to read each one, I found myself thoroughly enjoying them. Not knowing what they were, which were declarations of love and not, in fact, full-length stories

The author has most certainly captured the emotions of the characters, and you can visualize that when you're reading it.

They flow nicely, the paragraphs are rather spaced out but that doesn't affect the flow of the story. It's beautifully written, and despite not understanding much about the character's species, the small snippets are enough to let the emotion shine through, so the fact I didn't get a whole load of info, didn't make it any less enjoyable.

This would make a great novel if the author wanted to adapt it into one. Certainly, one that I would read. I want to know more backstory and get to know the characters personalities. This book gives you a tiny glimpse, into an interesting world that as a reader, I wanted to explore, leaving you long for a bigger taste. I loved it and just wished for more of a story.

KL

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So I never gave you a full summary of feedback. As we talked about before It usually hard for me to get into short story because I feel like something could be lacking. However, I didn't have that issue with yours.

Your writing is clear and easy to understand for me. The way you write has a flow to it and that might be the reason why I believe it so clear.

I remember that we talked about your struggle with title names and so far, I think you are doing a great job stimulating the interest with your title names. The language that you use for the character makes it very realistic. When I am reading I can imagine what they sound like.

Jay

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I've read all seven chapters.

I really love the creative characters and their individual stories. Their love is wonderfully enchanting that it makes you believe that happily ever after does exist. The lovemaking that you describe between your characters is beautiful too. It just shows that the body is only one way to be intimate and loving with your partner. Your characters have such colorful backgrounds and hopes for their futures, which the readers just can't help but want to root for them.

I don't really have anything negative to say about your work. It's just so sweet and pure, that I can't see anything wrong with that. The only thing I suppose I can point out is some grammar issues or the chapters not being long enough, lol.

– V

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