Read first 5 chapters

What did you think the book was about?

It's about Luanna's undiscovered power, which she will start to use as she continues her journey. She never gives her importance in the society but at the right time, she will found out that her ability is not a curse but rather something she can be used too.

Did you feel that the book fulfilled your expectations: Definitely yes, there is a lot of different genres: action, thriller, magic, romance, and absolutely hotness.

What about the plot? Did it pull you in; or did you feel you had to force yourself to read the book?:

I will not reach until five chapters if it's boring! It is really intriguing!

Do the characters seem real and believable? (Basically, can you relate to their predicaments? To what extent do they remind you of yourself or someone you know, if they do at all?)

Yes, like how she started the story in an orphanage, it actually broke my heart in the scene when her previous family left her in front of the nun gate and then she just smile and wave goodbye to them knowing that she will not see them again. That scene is so striking.

How was the pacing of the chapters you read? (Consider if the scenes skipped or jumped randomly. Too fast or too slow? Why?)

It's actually so clear, the author write is well, although sometimes it's a bit too long already for each chapter :P

How was the description of the chapters you read? (Consider if there were any information bumps. Were there a lack of emotions, too little describing, telling rather than showing, etc.): HOT! That's all I can say.

Describe what you liked or disliked about the writer's style? Why?

She is good in writing an action scene, for a writer to have that ability is really far great. I don't even know how to do that.

Would you read more of the author's work?

Absolutely :)

– Ariane (yanieboi)

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When I first started reading this book, I was bored. It didn't capture my interest. Under normal circumstances, I would have given up and moved on to a different book. However, once I got past the first two chapters I found myself enthralled. It was thrilling and captivating and the main character is such a powerful female that I could not help but want to know her better. I consumed these chapters and completed the book within 2 days. The ending left me yearning for more and I was a little frustrated that I wasn't able to see where this would go. I'm not sure if that was the ending or if more chapters are coming but I wanted, correction needed more. I've read many female main character books but none of them started as strong in spirit as her and her wit and sass are so unique yet so relatable that one cannot help but want her to have everything. If I could offer a suggestion, it would be to consider an intro or lead in that gives readers like me something to cling to. Maybe I wasn't reading it with the kind of attention it needed in the beginning. I think this is a great story with a great leading character and that readers like me might not get the chance to see that if we quit before we get there. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to review your book.

– Catherine (CatherineDeynes)

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Typically I am not overly interested in these types of books, paranormal not being my type of thing but it was clearly explained in the first couple of chapters that there were paranormals, hybrids, and humans.

It was clearly a mystery which was easy to determine within the first couple of chapters as they worked to figure who the killer actually was in the case of the reporter as well as the couples that were murdered.

I felt the book exceeded my expectations as I said books of the paranormal typed don't typically appeal and while we only had to read 5 chapters, I don't mind admitting that I had no trouble continuing past the 5 chapters to finish reading to where the book is currently at.

The characters were well developed and seemed very believable, even down to the frustration I felt with Luanna and her need to prove herself independent.

The chapters flowed well, there is some places where there is so much detail that it can seem to drag some but it does pick back up and move forward again. I love the twists that were thrown in of her brother showing up to give more depth to the story.

The author does a fantastic job laying out the story and the character development. I love the twists that are thrown in to keep the reader on their toes. Luanna frustrates the hell out of me but that is what makes me come back to read more, to find out how her story ends. Outside of a few grammars, or misplaced words, sometimes the abundance of detail can bog things down some but otherwise, I loved it! Can't wait to see how it ends and I would absolutely read other works by the author.

– Mary (BlackShadowCC)

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Chapters read: 1-14

Your story pulled me in right away. The various cast of characters, Zane in particular, caught my attention, and I liked how you introduced us to your supernatural universe. The mystery and horror of the murders are described very efficiently, and of course... the passion and lust blazing between your MCs is delicious, especially given how Luanna wants to cockblock them.

Reading your story reminded me somehow of the 'Anita Blake' series, with your Luanna struggling to understand what she is, and afraid to lose control, and her multiple otherworldly partners. I liked how you made her aware of her lust for the twins, while not embracing it blindly. The smutty and almost smutty parts are excellent! To me, the balance between the romance and the mystery is good.

There were a bit too many instances of tense switches everywhere, and but for sure, a thorough editing round will fix this. Your description skills are amazing and I love how you showed the extent of your knowledge about everything supernatural, the creatures, powers, etc.

Sometimes the pace falters when Luanna thinks about her past or powers right in the middle of a tense scene with other protags. It feels as if everything is put on pause while she reflected on her issues. If possible, I'd recommend trying to disclose most of it through dialogues, for example with Malice. It can't always work, but it would help here and there.

Another point, more content related, is that I couldn't help but find Luanna's range of abilities/powers a bit too wide, bordering on 'unrealistic', if this is even possible lol. She comes off as a supernatural superwoman, and while I don't suggest cutting her powers by half, maybe it would feel less overwhelming to discover a new one almost with each chapter. Some of it is of course key to the plot, but for example, the fact she can see right away what the other members of the group are is both interesting and a bit annoying because then, the reader loses a chance to be surprised.

For me, the least interesting character, for now, is Lucas. He is a bit cliché in his uber-protective attitude, especially for a person who hasn't seen his sister for nearly twenty years. Also, he is almost too convenient, plot-wise, as he pops up to cast a light on her past. I understand he is necessary, but how about introducing him later on? Do we need to know her family background right there and then? Because where he shows up now, it only slows down the pace in relation to the murder crisis.

Anyway, those are only a few suggestions. I'm looking forward to finishing the whole book and to see that three burn the bedroom down.

– Lila (Lila-Mina)

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After reading the first few chapters, I must say my favorite part of it so far has been Malice's dialog. He seems like such an idiot, but I get the feeling that he's much more powerful than he lets on. I must say, I wasn't expecting that it was a world where humans know about supernatural beings, which I liked quite a bit. In addition, I liked how supernatural beings seemed to be hated by humans. Don't know why, but magical creature racism is one of my favorite plot devices. If I had to give some criticism it's that in some places it was a bit hard to follow, but with that being said, I have trouble following what's going on more often than not when I read. However, for an unedited draft, it was pretty good and I am interested in the world building.

– Medula (Medula-Oblongata)

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I read 3 chapters and the prologue.

There was no gap between what the blurb made me expect and what I read. The plot about a murder case is really interesting and the way paranormal people are depicted, with their alter egos, is very original. However, I felt like the second chapter didn't really help to pull me in. The friendship between Malice and Zane is a plus to the story but the dialogue in that chapter felt a little superfluous as if a part of it could be cut. On the contrary, the first and third chapters showed Luanna's POV and past without casting the plot aside; there was a balance between those, which is great. Also, I think I saw mixed up tenses in chapter 3, when Luanna gets dressed in her room, and from time to time, I felt as if some sentences were cut in two. Those were the only things that caught my eye in terms of grammar/conjugation; otherwise, it was well written, the story flowed well. Indeed the pacing was good and I don't think there were too much descriptions.

In short, I really liked the way you depicted your paranormal people and how they had to sometimes struggle to keep control of themselves. However, I don't think I will read any more of the story, not because of the murder plot/world building but because of the romance part of it. The fact is that I don't really like when there is a romanticized abusive relationship and I only needed the short interaction between the leads at the end of chapter 3 to make me think there will be one in your story. However, that's only a matter of taste; other readers will surely like it.

– Drown (DrowninSpit)

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This story was nothing like I expected in a good way. I was thinking, "Oh, another vampire book. I'm not a fan of paranormal." BUT it exceeded my expectations. Very gripping and it sucks you into the fantastical vortex.

With grammar, I was totally fine mentally fixing whatever problem because at the top you put an unedited disclaimer. Therefore, I didn't feel the need to point anything out because a majority of the writing was very well done, so I figured you'd get it once you combed through it.

The plot seemed, at first, to be the murders and the battle between Primes and Humans. Then, I realized the plot was about the romance, and the subplot was the aforementioned. Not that I'm disappointed with execution (as I'm only at chapter 9), but I was waiting for more of the mystery part. Here's another positive BUT to my statement: every writer has a plan. You NEEDED to show the Prime characters for who they were more slowly. Needed to show who Luanna was, as well as make sure the sexual tension was there and developing.

I LOVED it. I'm a pretty picky reader, honestly, and this was very visual and creative. I won't go on forever.

Overall, it's an amazing job, in my opinion.

– Ginger (Gingeriffico)

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I wasn't sure what exactly to expect with it being a paranormal mystery with a romantic sexy twist. One thing I really enjoyed about this story though was the plot and storyline. This story definitely had me hooked and wanting to keep reading especially when it came to the personalities of the main male characters in the story. I feel like really the only weak writing trait here is the way the tenses and the point of view can sometimes confuse you a little bit and are a little off. But because the story is so well detailed and it is so interesting it really doesn't bother me. The detailing behind their thoughts and the more intricate plot is one of the major writing strengths for this writer. The paranormal aspect of the plot really added to the story and I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about it but ended up really liking it. I really enjoyed this story and I would like to read some more from this author in the future.

– Megan (babygurl98)

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I got a pretty good idea what the book is about from the description. I felt like I knew what the basic storyline is, the one where they're out to catch a murderer, a plot that intrigued me right away. I loved the first chapter, but as I read on, it got a little confusing for me. I constantly felt like I was missing some basic background information about who these people or better demons and hybrids were and where they came from. I don't usually read books like that, so I thought there were a lot of things that I should know but just didn't. So I kind of had to force myself to read on. Especially through those long chapters.

At first, I thought it wouldn't bother me, and reading a long chapter usually doesn't. It was just that some scenes felt endless, and there was too much description for my taste. Because even with so much description I was still confused sometimes who did what and why. I'm just not a very imaginative person when it comes to things like this.

But I still liked the story, especially with those characters. I wasn't on board with that whole mating thing between the twins and Luanna though because as much as it was said that she wanted them, it felt too forced for my taste. But that's a personal opinion. And to be honest - I ship Luanna and Malice ;)

All in all, it was a little hard to read (I read up to chapter 15), but the story grew on me that's why I didn't stop. I especially liked Luanna who doesn't take shit from the twins. And I'm curious how the story goes on, so I will definitely read the rest at some point. And imo the balance between mystery and romance was good.

– Lilly (LillyMHenderson)

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1. What did you think the book was about?

A suspenseful thriller fantasy about hybrid Demons and humans with special powers. The two demons out to solve the string of murders. While one has to face finding his other half who is a human with abilities. Two people who trust no one and gave up on love finding it together.

2. Did you feel the book fulfilled your expectations?

The chapters were long but felt like they didn't convey much action in them other than one really long scene each chapter.

3. What about the plot? Did it pull you in; or did you feel you had to force yourself to read the book?

The first few I had to say it will pick up just give it a bit of time. Finally, that takes an interesting turn for the better.

4. Do the characters seem real and believable? (Basically, can you relate to their predicaments? To what extent do they remind you of yourself or someone you know, if they do at all?)

With everyone wanting to find love and then scared shitless when they do yes. But with them being fantasy characters only somewhat.

5. How was the pacing of the chapters you read? (Consider if the scenes skipped or jumped randomly. Too fast or too slow? Why?)

Slow. Like I said before just spending too long on one particular scene instead of moving on.

6. How was the description of the chapters you read? (Consider if there where any information bumps. Were there a lack of emotions, too little describing, telling rather than showing, etc.)

The description with the characters and places even there interactions at the moment were great.

7. Describe what you liked or disliked about the writer's style? Why?

I know it's a mystery, but I wish there wasn't so much mystery around the characters and the plot in general at the beginning of the story. Other than that, the style is great. Good characters and bringing the reader into their world.

8. Would you read more of the author's work?

Yep!

– Callie (CallieSumner)

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I've been following Twisted Desires as a Beta Reader for a while now. I get to look at chapters before anyone else and I've seen the evolution of GoddessV's writing. Because the story is not yet edited, and V is working on finishing it, the beginning, as she already knows, needs work. The balance between showing and telling is something, again she is aware of, but she is really great at descriptive writing. Even a good thing can become overwhelming if used in excess and again this is something we've discussed.

She has worked on suggestions I've given her and I believe later chapters flow much better than earlier chapters. I'm a fairly patient reader, I'm okay not knowing everything just yet. So, while there is still a lot we don't know, we learn more as we go and the picture becomes clearer. I am content to let V take me on the ride she has planned and I'm confident the picture will be crystal clear in the end.

We've discussed a glossary of sorts for readers that are not too familiar with supernatural creatures. Which I think will enhance reader enjoyment of her story, since she delves into creatures not commonly used in mainstream fantasy.

One suggestion is maybe don't make us fall in love with Mal and Luanna as a potential couple, because I'm still shipping them hard. As you know Mal is my bae so whatever, even if Luanna doesn't get him, as long as he's mine, we're cool. I like the Twins more and more though as they have evolved and found myself rooting for them to convince Lulu of their genuine affection for her. Lulu is an amazing character with a lot of depth and so super badass that I have no worries about her with the dominant males that are Zev and Zayn. She would wreck their lives to all hell if they ever crossed the line and tried to hurt her, which they never would in the first place.

In all, I am in love with this story and can't wait for her to finish it so I know how it ends! I also fully look forward to the sequels.

– Tiffany (ClarityNMercy)

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Okay! I think your writing is well done for the first draft. It's easy to understand for me. I can follow the story and the flow of the book so far.

The description of your book is nice. I get a clear picture of where it is and so worth. There are some heartbreaking moments; I believe in this chapter that I read that was just like wow. There was some moment when I could relate and I felt sad or upset with what happened.

The prologue! I really like you had a prolonged it makes me very interested in what is going to happen. Because what you talked about in there makes me wonder what is going to happen how it is going to happen and so worth. However, I would mention that you put a time-period so I am aware of when this is happening. It leaves me a little confused when I don't have one.

– Jay (jaymadeliene)

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This story certainly captured my interest from the outset. I've always wanted to read the urban fantasy style stuff, but haven't quite gotten around to exploring much of it. I think the thing that drew me in so quickly was the way the prologue was written. There were a lot of interesting questions there that I think hint at what is going on throughout the rest of the story.

I feel that your descriptions are very strong, but at times, there may be a bit of repetition that interrupts the flow. As you mentioned in your own comments on your weakest writing trait, I noticed a couple of times where the tense was off, and some minor spelling and grammar stuff. Nothing big, really, just the kind of things that slips by everyone at some point.

One piece of feedback I have regarding flow is that the sentence structure during the action scenes could benefit from a bit of a shake-up. I find action is best managed in short sentences with fewer conjunctions and commas. This would also be a place to look at whether your descriptions are adding to or dragging at the pace of the scene e.g. "Sighing, he looked away, started the car up and put the vehicle in motion. Luanna felt the car pull away from the curve, her struggling decreased slightly as she turned her head to look out the window." This little section covers the fact that the car is moving twice, which makes it feel like a long process? Stronger words would also help in some instances- you could probably remove 'slightly' and still get the same point across while keeping a faster pace in the sentence.

Honestly, though, I am nitpicking because that is all I can think of. Your characters are interesting, and as I read through the chapters all sorts of dark, wonderful, mysterious images were popping up into my head. I'd love to know more about not only the characters but the world they are set in as well. You've done an excellent job portraying the racial/species issues and showing how that impacts Luanna, even as early a few chapters in. So, thank you for sharing your story with us, I will be sure to read more.

– Liv (LivEvansANDJayThomas)

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Aside from a few typos throughout the entire book, which understandably is due to this being a rough draft, I just wanted to say how impressed I am!!! Oh my gosh!!! I love this story V!!! You are an amazing storyteller!!! I had goose pimples all over during this chapter! I love your descriptive and in-depth tellings of how these characters relate to one another!!!! Luanna is such a strong and intriguing lead female. The twins are so seductive (love them)!! And Mal I cannot say enough about Mal, he appears to be the most beautiful angel like creature imaginable, not to mention his comical demeanor is so satisfying!!! I look forward to reading more and more of this story in the near future and anything else you might write as well! Thank you for sharing this with all of us!

– Nikki (Nikkikyss)

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