"Eris...Eris! Where do you think you're going!?"

"With you, of course."

"I don't think that's such a great idea..."

"Never mind, Pan. I want to come, Eros. It's been ages since we've tag-teamed. Let's go out like we used to--"

"Eris, I don't need you to start another Trojan War."

"Hey, there. What's life without a little discord?"
____
Ashton throws his body onto the bed, landing on both his mattress and Calum.

"What the fuck--Ash!"

"I've got a fucking date--"

"Dude. I'm--I'm fucking dying, mate!"

"Help me, Cal!"

"Get off me, first!"

And Ashton rolls over, freeing Calum from beneath him.

Calum takes long, exaggerated breaths. "I'm. Dying. Here."

"I thought you were gonna help me."

"Alright, alright," he stands, rising to his feet and running a hand through his dark hair. "What's the deal, mate? It's Zoe. She'll probably be in jeans and a tee. Don't worry, mate."

"Dude, that seems too--"

"Don't overthink it," Calum says. "What are you doing, anyway?"

"I don't fucking know," Ashton groans, because he'd asked Zoe to be his Valentine and hadn't planned shit. "This is on me, man. I don't know what the hell I'm gonna--"

"Oh," Calum nods now. "Yeah. You're kinda screwed."

"I fucking swear to god, Cal--"

"Ask Mila then," he interjects quickly. "Ask Mikey for her number."

"For what?"

"For," Calum pouts, "I dunno, ideas! She's Zoe's best friend, yeah?"

Ashton nods slowly. "Yeah..."

"Then, there. Case closed. Ask her what she likes. It's so fucking cold I don't know where you could fucking go..."

And all of a sudden, Ashton jumps from the bed. "Calum, I could kiss you."

"Whoa, be my Valentine first."

"Okay, fuck you," he says. "But, also thanks, mate. I think I know what the hell I'm gonna do."

Calum falls back onto his bed. "Well, have fun," he calls. "I'll just be here. On Valentine's Day...all alone..."

And Ashton stops. "Wanna get set up?"

"Whoa, mate," Calum shakes his head, "I'm only joking." 

"You're sure?" Ashton lifts a brow. "'Cause Zoe's got plenty of other friends, and I'm sure if I'd asked she'd set you up."

"Nah," Calum grins, shaking his head. "I'm serious. If I wanted a girl now, which I don't, I'd have to do it my own way. I don't need anyone to help me."

___

i forgot how fun these were to write hehe.