What did it feel like to have your memories probed?

I was told almost immediately. Scarlett's power crept across my mind like tendrils of smoke, clasping on the foremost recollection in my head. I could feel her, a puppet master, directing the web of thought along in reverse chronological order.

Most recent— darkness, woods.

I could feel that it was just a memory; Fabian's hand was still in mine, and we were witnessing the vision as a group.

The memory seemed like a dream; I stared at a pale Lumina, stepping fearfully through the trees in her night clothes. It was hard to remember that the girl was me. Her hand trembled as she pushed aside brambles, her knees knocked as she took each step. And when the scream came across the clearing, I watched as I broke into the most desperate run.

But before we got to see Reia, the memory jerked, and we're tossed further back into my mind.

—-

I was fourteen, with my face much rounder and my hair shorter. I was putting the finishing touches onto a remote control car that I had been making. I set it down triumphantly at my work desk, covered in mess and having stayed up all night to complete it.

'Reia!' I cried out, exhausted, 'Reia, come see it, it's done!'

But as someone opened the door, the memory changed again.

—-

The day that Reia came to the orphanage.

We watched the scene as I played by the other children on the small riverbank near to the woods; the very woods I would lose Reia in years later.

There were around twelve of us playing by the river, ranging from me as the youngest to the eldest around thirteen. It was an amazingly hot day, and the adults sat on small chairs by the bank. Old Mrs Cindle was no longer old but middle-aged; only the beginnings of grey were sweeping her hair. She was in deep conversation with the man next to her, our benefactor of the orphanage, who had always come out on holidays and nice days to show how kindly he was to the orphan children. His wife posed next to him, clad next to his new suit in a bright blue and white striped summer frock, complete with frills at her knees and her hips. Her hair was short and brown, and she looked at the children with distinct fear for her whites. She clutched a matching parasol for dear mercy, shielding her and her husband from the sun, and, if necessary, an escaped child.

It was muddy, and our feet slipped as we raced in and out of the water. The river was shallow, cold and beautiful, with dragonflies dancing above its swirling rapids.

I was tiny; my black hair was as long as my knees and hanging like a curtain, and behind it, my eyes shone an iridescent purple.

The other children pretended to scream as I appeared before them.

'The ghost in the woods!' they cried, and made gaggling faces at one another. I blushed and bit my trembling lip, trying hard not to cry.

'I'm not a ghost,' I wailed. As I tried to chase after them to join in, I slipped along the riverbank, and landed in the mud. I was already dirty; now I was filthy. I began to cry, but none of them moved to help me.

I approached Mrs Cindle wailing. She stared at me, holding me at arm's length.

'Yes, the poor child was left on our doorstep as a baby,' she said, and all three of them stared at me. The benefactor's wife was staring particularly intently at me, with a look of sheer disgust at bringing dirt towards her. I began to sniffle again.

'So we don't know who the mother is?' the benefactor pretended to care, but he too shifted his seat away from my grubby hands, smoothing his suit protectively. Meanwhile, the child me stood in a state of dismay, not understanding that in adult society, talking about me as they were was extremely rude.

'Unplanned pregnancy, if you ask me,' Mrs Cindle said conspiratorially. 'I bet it's a rich girl trying to hide her fun. Wonder if we could find out which ones have been indisposed recently...'

Loving the gossip, the benefactor began to name a couple of women who could be the potential mothers of this offspring.

'But that dark hair,' his wife breathed, 'she is like something out of the woods. None of those women have purple eyes, either.'

As the three were bickering, a soft padding of feet came towards us.

Hanna walked gently, clutching a small child to her chest. I knew now from the blonde curls and the petite doll size who this person was to become; but back then, Lumina just burst into tears again.

'Oh, my little hen,' Hanna laughed, 'what has happened to you? Never mind, we shall get you a bath later. I've brought you a friend along, but she's being shy.'

'Another child?' the benefactor's face turned paler.

'She just knocked at our doorstep and introduced herself,' Hanna said, putting the child down. I knew that I was looking for the first time at beautiful Reia, who was angelic and serene even as a toddler.

From our angle, we could not see Reia's face, but the three adults could; they all cooed appropriately, complimenting the child's loveliness.

'Child, do tell us your name,' the benefactor's wife said.

Her natural charm brought my instant dislike and jealousy, which would eventually become sisterly love and endearment. But for those few years as a child, Reia and I would squabble and bicker amongst each other.

But eventually, almost inexplicably, our bond would win out. Opposites as we seemed then, we would become close enough to regard each other as sisters.

'Reia,' the child said in reply, and as she turned, she looked directly at us; her blue eyes narrowing as we disappeared.

As the wind howled and tried to take us further, all there was to see was darkness.

As if my mind was blank further than that day. 

—-

Scarlett pressed on my mind, causing me to feel a strange pressure against my skull. It began to hurt. I gasped, feeling a sharp scratching feeling across the back of my head, and yet I could see my body. It was blackness all around, even when I pushed against it, willing myself to see further.

It was if, until Reia came into my life, I didn't exist before it.

A day ago, that thought may have thrilled me; a sisterly bond so strong that neither could exist without the other. But a vast bitterness was beginning to spread, from my chest and outwards that Reia had been living without me for a long, long time.

And suddenly, I realised, I was going to have to learn to live by myself, because Reia was no longer here, regardless of whether she was still alive. I was alone, in a strange place, with people all around who Reia had warned me not to trust.

But Reia hadn't told me that I had seemingly lived on Angelica before, and had a life of my own with a sister named Scarlett, parents, and a man named Fabian. At that moment, I burned with an intense curiosity as to who that person really was, and how they were all so assured that we were the same. The sharp pain of being unable to remember receded as I forgot about the darkness, and instead tried to push against Scarlett; I could feel her presence all around.

I felt a pop, as if something had transferred, and I felt a rush of power. Then, finally, I began to see her memories of her Lumina: the Lumina that they had known. 

—-

The three of us watched, omnipotent once more, from the corners of a garden scene. A beautiful tea set lay folded out on a table covered in tiny miniature flowers. Mini cakes and cups, in polka dot pastels patterns, decorated the table. Around the scene, a lush green garden grew; small bonsai trees, with large grey stone pebbles, and emerald hues of shrubbery plants. The whole scene was like a released breath.

Two girls sat at the table drinking the tea, giggling and laughing together comfortably. The closest was Scarlett; she looked a little younger than she was now, and she was wearing a beautiful blue kimono patterned with swallows. Her blue wings were folded. When she laughed, the ornaments in her hair wiggled like butterflies. She always laughed when the girl opposite her told her jokes.

Seeing the girl sat opposite to Scarlett, I had to blink twice. And three times.

Because I was looking directly at myself.

I was sat reclining, with my teacup in hand, smiling lazily at the garden and chatting animatedly to Scarlett. My face was pale, but I had rosy cheeks like cherries on a cake; they brought a sparkle to my face that I had not seen before. My eyes were lavishly painted with black liner and my eyelashes shimmied when I blinked. My hair, cut into a stylish bob around my ears, was laced with beads and wonderful hairpins, causing me to look like a stunning kind of hedgehog. My own kimono was stark white, the colour I had seen of snow in the books I had read at the orphanage; drifting through the silk were sakura trees in full bloom, with hazy orange glows like fireflies stitched around, lighting up the trees.

I had been enchanting.

As a figure stepped out behind the curved archway, the short-haired Lumina leaped gracefully to her feet. Her wings spread wide; silver, and extremely long; the feathers draped the floor. Lumina swept her hands out as Fabian, who looked precisely the same as he did now, stood confidently waiting. Lumina wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close. For one shocking moment, I thought they were going to kiss; but then Fabian spun her around, and the whole scene was just too perfect.

And I couldn't remember any of it.

—-

The scene dissolved, and I was inside a house; the walls were lit by regular lanterns, and we were following short-haired Lumina, dressed in a wonderful corseted lace dress of lavender, as she padded her way softly down the hallway. She left the scent of lavender as she walked; Scarlett popped her head around the corner, and beckoned her cheerfully to follow.

We looked upon a family scene.

The room was clearly a living room, filled with bookcases and lamps and beanbag cushions upon the floor. A grand piano stood in the corner, booming as Scarlett played it merrily. Short-haired Lumina swept into the room, playfully sitting down beside an older man and woman; she began asking them about their day.

'I heard you made a trip to the Emerald district,' Lumina said. Her voice was soft and innocent. 'What is it like there?'

The older man had dark hair and a rectangular, angular face; his hair was greying at the sides, and his eyes crinkled as he smiled. He wore loose trousers and a fraying shirt. From his back, his wings were white. He held the woman's hand next to him, and she leant gently against his shoulder. Her hair was brown and very straight, and she had braided it around her head. Her skin was milky whereas the man's was tanned. She was delicate, and she reached out to touch Lumina's hand, they were both like two flowers, gently touching in a breeze.

'There are very good entertainers,' the man chuckled, 'plays are on every night, and the actors are very flamboyant. There are great artists too, my dear. You would love it there.'

'I'm so envious!' Lumina said dramatically.

'Perhaps, one day, Fabian will take you,' the woman said, smiling kindly. Lumina gripped her hand excitedly.

'He must!' she agreed. 'Do you think he will? Oh, but we can't leave Freya out. She must come too, or I would be a terrible friend.'

'I doubt Freya would want to get in your way if you two are going to be eng—'

'Shhh, mamma, shhh!' Lumina nodded towards Scarlett, who had stopped playing piano and was grinning devilishly.

'I heard it!' she shrieked. 'I knew it! Are you really? Is he going to ask you?'

Lumina had turned beetroot.

—- 

The scene changed again. The short-haired Lumina was very young— only around ten— but she was helping up a girl to her feet. The sight of her made me gasp.

Reia had fallen; they were on a busy street filled with carts. Lumina had seemingly jumped down from a carriage to where Reia lay, waiting to be trampled by a horse.

'Are you okay?' Lumina asked kindly, stretching out a hand to the other girl. Reia was the same as always; golden haired, green eyed, peaches-and-cream complexion. From her back were tiny, golden feathers, just starting to grow. Lumina already had fully formed wings in silver, glistening in the sunlight.

'Yes, thank you,' Reia said shyly. Reia? Shy?

'What were you doing running across the street?'

'I was trying to escape my father,' Reia said, looking down at the floor. Short-haired Lumina frowned.

'Escape him? Whatever did he do?'

Tears filled Reia's eyes. She shook her head.

Scarlett poked her head out of the carriage.

'What are you doing, Mina?' she said. 'Hurry up!'

Lumina leaned towards Reia and whispered.

'I will come and find you,' she promised. 'Come and play with me.'

—- 

The scene changed again, and this time, Reia and Lumina were in the gardens together. Scarlett watched them nervously from behind an archway. In the background, a beautiful villa stretched with wooden beams, decorated by the peaceful gardens around it. Large ponds reflected the slowly passing sky. Occasionally, cloud rolled across the garden.

The two were probably near teenagers. Reia had grown tall and a little gangly; it was Lumina who was tiny and beautiful.

'We shall adopt you,' Lumina declared, 'and then you won't have to run from that father of yours any longer. We can be sisters at last.'

'I will never be good enough to be your sister,' Reia said, and the pain in her face was evident. My heart squeezed; I felt that roles were reversed when we were both in the orphanage. I knew that pain of not feeling good enough.

'Nonsense!' Lumina declared. 'Come, live with us.'

—- 

And then they were in the same place, but years had passed; two young women, dressed prettily in the same dress but in baby blue and pink, were chatting. Reia had changed; she was now very similar to Lumina in her manner and dress sense, although her hair was in blonde ringlets. Scarlett approached them, with Fabian in tow. Lumina leaped to meet Fabian in her usual manner, but Scarlett's eyes narrowed as Reia watched Fabian sheepishly, blushing deeply.

My heart contracted.

I had never seen Reia look at a man like that before.

It seemed that the short-haired Lumina hadn't noticed either. The only one who did was Scarlett, and she caught Reia's eye.

—-

As if the issue jumped, Reia stood against the archway, talking quietly to Scarlett. She was now as I remembered her; she had to be around eighteen, or the equivalent in angel years. The two were in a heated argument about Lumina and Fabian.

'The two are clearly meant for each other!' Scarlett was hissing. 'They have been inseparable since birth!'

'It can't be helped that his family have arranged other matters.' Reia looked coldly at the younger girl.

'It just so happened to be now, when they were nearly happy? Isn't it too much of a coincidence?' Scarlett looked furious, while Reia looked icily calm.

'When were you going to mention that you were the Queen Candidate? That he's been betrothed to the Queen Candidate since his birth?' Scarlett's next question was nearly shouted.

'If one of us has been sneaky, we have both been equally so. We didn't want anybody to know.'

'I don't believe this,' Scarlett's shaking head, fervent with denial, shone before my eyes before everything changed again.

—-

My heart pounded. Reia and Lumina and Fabian had been a love triangle, a triangle that had somehow ended in disaster.

Reia and Lumina had both loved the same man. Lumina hadn't known, at least not before Reia. That left it to Fabian's heart to make the choice.

What had Fabian thought?

It was like I pulled away from Scarlett, and threw my conscious at Fabian. I felt him struggle.

These memories are private, I could almost feel his breath gasping. But I felt shame all around him, as if he were desperately trying to hide something—

I did not pay attention.

A/N: What's Fabian hiding, eh? What do you think of him, Scarlett and Lumina's role in their past?

Dedication is to MissyFlexy, for her hilarious comments and support. If you like a good sense of humour in a book, try her Free Falling, or support her book Imperfect Beauty in the Wattys this year!

Larissa

xxx