⎣"So many things survived here, without really living."⎤

Sitting in that couch was easily Carmen's favourite thing to do; there, crossed legged, warm cup of tea on her lap, the meadow stretching indefinitely before her, was where she felt the most alive. Which was strange, because it was there that she seemed the most dead; almost as inanimate as the pillows and cushions surrounding her ever so fragile form.

When had she become so frail? So dainty? So lacking of power and vital strength?

She did not remember.

The wind brushed the pastures lightly, engaging in a gentle dance that appeared ever lasting; but everything in that cozy cottage Angelo had found appeared ever lasting. With no end, no beginning, no in between. Just a past, a present and a future, tangled together in a never ending web with them tangled together as well.

That might've been her favourite thing about the place.

She didn't feel anything in particular, however she also seemed to feel it all; the burning hatred at those who had wronged her, at life for throwing such misery her way despite the fact she had done nothing to deserve such horrors. The sorrow, the pain of being broken inside and out, and beyond any sort of definite repair. The hopelessness that came along with retreating twenty steps in her thirty step journey into moderate normality.

⎣"What a slow, stretching joy".⎤

But the joy. Ah, the joy that stood out amongst the bitter and unruly feelings that persisted within Carmen. The sweet, powerful joy of love. The joy of being loved and loving in return, of loving with such passion and desire and faith that she could not fathom ever leaving his side. The joy of having that place to share with him. The joy of sitting there, in peace, of feeling the weight of her body grounded into the earth, alive, beating, breathing; of looking intently at the love of her life, standing outside, in the wind and the mist and the grass and the cows.

He belonged there, in that raw yet gentle place, so full of nature and yet so safe.

Moved by this same feelings that often drowned her, she got to her feet, leaving her cup of tea on the coffee table to make her way through the kitchen, out the door. She felt the weeds and flowers tickle her toes, one foot after the other, closing the distance between herself and the tall man; the wind brushed strands of dark hair into her face, roaring in her ears, free and wild as well.

This was what she had fought for. This was what Carmen was willing to risk her life for.

Freedom.

⎣"It's like this light coming out of you."⎤

Picking up the pace, the woman reached him finally, lightly placing a still shaky hand on his back, feeling the warmth, the unspoken protection of the muscles pounding beneath her palm and his shirt, turning her head to look at his profile; straight nose, plump lips, brows furrowed in brooding.

"¿Posso acompagnarti?"

One might've thought Carmen would stay inanimate forever. But light shone in even the darkest places, when you shone as brightly as Angelo did.

All the quotes used © Maggie Stieffvater

Angelo © -blurryfxce