It had been a week since that awful night and Naira was trying her best to avoid running into Zaram even by accident. She still wasn't over the fact that he'd used her and left her to face the cruel remarks of people at the university. If spoiling her reputation had been the goal, he had clearly won because students were practically lethal with their words. She was being called words she'd only heard in movies and it made her realise how cruel this world actually was.

They kiss the ground you walk on as long as you have something to give, in her case it was a show. A show her and Zaram gave them every time they walked down the hallways, her hand tucked into his arm. And the moment it stopped they started spitting.

The one who did wrong was earning pitiful glances and heartfelt wishes from these people while the one who'd been wronged was on the end of their mean stick.

Oftentimes throughout the week, Naira had found herself locked in the girls' lavatory as she wiped the smudges of mascara from her face after a crying session which was starting to become a part of her daily routine. People had started making baseless rumors about her but she kept quiet. And it wasn't like most of them were untrue.

She did go to the club voluntarily. Instead of leaving Zaram when she saw where they were, she went inside the place on her own two feet. He didn't force her.

She drank that juice on her own, too. He just played part in emotionally blackmailing her, grabbing that glass and trusting him was all her. She can't put the blame on him.

The only thing she held him accountable for was playing with her feelings. He made her fall for him knowing all too well what he was going to do in the end and it had hurt her more than him leaving her there and spreading those pictures.

Heart is the most important organ of the body. If it gets shattered, you lose the ability to live. And it was true in both the literal and metaphorical sense.

Naira sniffled as she dried her hands with the paper towel and went to the bathroom sink to grab her bag. She opened it to check her phone but her eyes caught the familiar scarlet red envelope inside. Rayan had been giving her these letters everyday. Sometimes with his own hands and sometimes through someone else. He had sent one yesterday with a bouquet of roses and she didn't want to admit it but they were kind of the only positivity in her messed up life at the moment.

He wrote her random quotes and poems from various authors on the internet and they were beyond cheesy every single time. But the thing which made them somewhat special was the fact that he seemed to know what she wanted to hear that day. It was as if he could read her emotions and then searched for the exact quote or poem which would make her feel better.

Rayan Chaudhry was proving to be an annoyingly adorable guy.

Naira shook her head out of the thoughts and opened today's envelope. As she read the text she found out that he'd once again managed to knock her breath out by writing something she needed to hear after thinking about Zaram's betrayal a while ago.

Do not pour your sunshine

into someone who did not

think of you as their sky.

――✽――

Naira was making her way towards her next class when a hand shot out from one of the empty rooms and dragged her inside. Her mouth was covered with a calloused hand as the door shut behind them and she blinked her eyes rapidly to see Rayan staring down at her with a playful grin.

"Hi! How ar— "

He couldn't complete his sentence because she had smacked his right cheek rather harshly and his head whipped to the side. Naira stepped away from him as she tossed back her brown curls and crossed her arms.

"Tumhy is chichory pan ke ilawa aur koi kaam nahi hai?" she asked hotly while he only folded his hands into fists.

[Don't you have anything else to do beside being a pervert?]

"It's the twelfth slap I've received since we met and my cheek feels like it's going to fall off any given moment!" he stated angrily and she swallowed down a laugh at how cute he looked while saying that.

Her brain wasn't in the right place.

"It's not my fault that you act like a total nut-job. If you stop uttering nonsense then I might think about keeping my hand to myself."

She realised a bit too late how her sentence had come out and Rayan flashed her a smug look before she found herself trapped in his arms in the blink of an eye.

"You don't have to keep your hands to yourself, m'lady. I would actually appreciate it if you placed them right here." he whispered while guiding her hands around his neck and locked his own around her waist. Naira's face flushed as he started humming softly and then they were waltzing around the abandoned classroom.

"O tere sang yara, khushrang bahara. Tu raat deewani, mein zard sitara."

[With you, my love, the spring is colorful. You are the crazy night, I am a pale star.]

Naira was amazed at the way he was humming it exactly in the same tone as the song but still managing to keep it soft and melodious. He smiled knowingly at her starstruck expression and rubbed his nose against hers, causing her to give out a chuckle as she closed her eyes.

"O tere sang yara, khushrang bahara. Mein tera ho jaun, jo tu kar de ishara."

[With you, my love, the spring is colorful. I'll become yours, if you give a sign.]

Rayan twirled her around for a while and they both swayed softly to his humming at the end before finally coming to a pause. Naira's head was resting on his left shoulder as she stared into space and sighed tiredly when she felt his fingers brush through her hair.

"Feeling better now?" he asked in a murmur and tears started to pool in her honey brown orbs. How did he do it every time?

Naira gulped in some air as she pulled her head away from his shoulder and gave him a wobbly smile.

"Yes, I am. Thank you." she told him in a light voice and he grinned at her before squeezing her close.

"Anytime. So... " he trained off as he looked down at her hand and grabbed it in his own before starting to play with her fingers. "Have I swooned you enough to seal this nikah officially?"

Naira froze at his words and he nervously raised his head to gaze into her eyes.

"Please don't slap me." he blurted out and she stepped out of his arms, making his shoulders sag in disappointment.

"I-I should go now." she avoided his eyes as she grabbed her bag and made her way towards the door.

"Naira," She breathed through her nose at his call and turned around to see him extending another scarlet letter to her. "It might be the last one you receive. Choice is all yours."

She took it from him and didn't wait for anything else. She made her way out and started to half-run across the hallway before barging into the bathroom and locking herself in a cubicle. Naira didn't open the letter and just sat there, a thousand different thoughts running inside her head.

――✽――

That night, Naira lay awake in her bed as she played Rayan's words again and again in her mind like a broken record. He hadn't concealed his attraction for her since the very start. Every time he flirted with her or used endearing terms, he did it with intention and Naira had understood it but refused to take it seriously.

She didn't want to get into a relationship shortly after the previous one. That too, which ended so horribly. She still wasn't over Zaram, it was too soon.

So you're going to keep giving importance to that piece of shït by giving him a spot in your head and toss away Rayan who deserves that place quite rightfully?

She blinked at the realisation and sat up straight on her bed. This voice in her head was right. She was in nikah with Rayan not Zaram. So what if they did it the wrong way? It was still far more valuable than the pathetic engagement between her and Zaram.

Rayan's words from the day he told her about the night before echoed in her ears and she clenched her eyes shut.

"Just because you committed a sin doesn't mean the door of redemption has closed for you. You didn't drink on your own will." he had said before he told her about the short term memory loss she was facing.

"I drank it on purpose the second time. Right after getting out of a mosque." she had sobbed after she said that. "I've never been religious but knowing that I've committed a sin while being fully aware of it makes me feel so dirty. I don't deserve forgiveness."

Rayan had gotten angry at her words and replied with; "You're basically committing another sin by deciding whether you deserve forgiveness or not. It's not our job, Naira. It's Allah's. He makes decisions, not us. You're practically denying one of His most precious names; Al Ghaffur, The Most Forgiving. So, don't you dare say that you don't deserve it and start working on making up for it."

His words had left her speechless and she couldn't form any sentences for a while after that. And if she thought hard, she found that she'd done next to nothing up until this point to make up for it. She'd been crying since that day but for what? Because people were calling her names? Or because Zaram has broken her heart? When did she cry over the fact that she was in a club, drinking alcohol?

A chill ran down her spine and she immediately sprang up from her bed. Naira rushed into the bathroom and started doing ablution before grabbing her prayer mat for the first time in many years. The moment her forehead touched the ground, a flood of tears escaped from her eyes and she cried loudly, her body shaking with each sob.

This was the power of sujood; you could come with an ocean of sins and it'd absorb them all, leaving only peace and tranquility behind.

――✽――

Naira had made her decision and now she wanted to complete one final task before giving Rayan an answer. And she knew when she was going to do it. Their farewell party was being held after two weeks and it was the best occasion to end everything before continuing on with her life as she was supposed to.

Her fingers skimmed over Rayan's handwriting as she read the small letter for the hundredth time in the past hour and felt her lips pulling into a soft smile.

I've looked at you

in millions of ways and

I've loved you in each.

She placed the letter under her pillow after giving out a sigh and closed her eyes to fall into dreamland.

――✽――