~O~

The moment the feeling of helplessness shrouds him, Rody knows it's a nightmare.

He's had his fair share of nightmares and all kinds of bad dreams throughout his life. Taking care of two younger siblings alone isn't easy to say the least. It comes with not only the daytime labour to make sure they always have their needs fulfilled and are always happy and smiling, but also the terrors, the worries and the stress. Lala doesn't like big animals, any big dog is enough to make her cry for hours and he has to be there to calm her down, to make her smile again, to protect her. His brother on the other hand is often scared of being alone or being in the dark. So, he takes his hand and rubs his back, assuring him that he's there with him and he'll never leave him. A hug from him is always enough to shoo away their fears. 

That of course never worked in his nightmares.

They follow the same pattern; Rody, alone, in the dark, unable to move, unable to see. Then came the terrified cries and screams of his young siblings.

He can't help them, he can't hold them, he can't tell them it's okay. 

He can't protect them like their parents protected him—

And so, he suffers in his nightmares. He knows it's false, he knows none of that is true. Rody knows he will find both of them sleeping soundly right beside him, safe and warm. Unlike most people who tend to fight against these horrors, who wake themselves up trying to reach their loved ones, Rody doesn't. There's simply no need to. He didn't always try to ignore it. (Read: Suffer in silence) When he was younger, he did fight it. But the recurring pattern, the same dreams, the way he only ever had nightmares… It all just left him like this. He's so used to them, he doesn't even flinch in his sleep. His nightmares were always centered around his family, what's left of it and what's gone. Rody never had any friends to care enough about for them to be a part of his worries. If he  wakes up from one, he doesn't go back to sleep. Somehow he always feels Pino's presence beside him, even in his sleep. He will never say it out loud but Pino's presence is always comforting. Perhaps, that bird is what helps him be patient in his nightmares.

Pino, of course, continues to be a total jerk.

Shitty bird always just goes and wakes up his siblings, telling them Rody's having a nightmare.

Why does he have this quirk again?

Rody does not want to see concern on their faces. Not for him. Waking those two up in the middle of the night so they can cry over their older brother? He might as well just choke Pino to half death — would that kill him too? The brown haired boy will say he welcomes death with open arms but he can't leave his siblings behind on their own. He can't die. He still needs to protect them, to raise them. Roro can't calm down Lala when she's scared. Lala can't help Roro when he feels lonely and forgotten. That's why Rody can't die just yet. He needs to be there.

With a sudden jolt he realizes he isn't with Lala and Roro.

Fuck.

He's currently a runaway accomplice of a mass murderer. He knows Izuku was just framed but it really only takes a day with the boy to know he definitely can commit mass murder… Or maybe that's just him and his ability to read people.

"Run!!" A sudden yell interrupts his inner monologues, moving his attention to the ongoing nightmare. Like always, Rody doesn't see anything. He doesn't know what's happening. He doesn't know what to run away from. "P-Please…! You need to leave!" The voice addresses him again. It feels so distant, yet so close. He doesn't know to whom this voice belongs, but a part of him — the one that knows it's just a nightmare, tells him that he knows who's voice this is. Rody can't put a finger on it nonetheless. He can't because he doesn't try to. He knows it's neither Lala nor Roro. He doesn't feel Pino's presence nearby like he always does.

What happened?

What is this nightmare?

Is this not a nightmare?

"Please!! Run, get out of here!" The voice coughs out. It's breaking, cracking, roughly there but it still yells at him with everything to get to safety.

There's blood. Rody doesn't see it but he knows there is. There's a lot of it. Debris, smoke and fire surrounds him. There's something jeering and taunting hiding in the shadows but he doesn't see it. Rody's dreams always started in a dark place where he can only hear cries and screams. That's it. That was all. Helpless, he stands in the dark unable to help anyone — for hours, for nights, when was the last time he had a normal dream? But he can tell this one isn't the same. He can't see but he can tell what's around him. He doesn't know the voice crying this time. He doesn't feel Pino around. This is not a nightmare, he needs to move. He needs to help them.

Rody moves — he tries to. He fights against the invisible barrier, the imaginary chains, the latent tether holding him back. He puts all his might into taking a step forth but he can't. He can't move just like all his other nightmares but this is different, this isn't one then why? Why can't he move? Why can't he help? Why can't he protect them? It almost feels just like when he lost his parents...

He doesn't want to lose anyone—

"Rody!!"

The voice yells again. His name. Rody. That's him. The voice, despite being halfway to being lost forever, yells out his name with a foreign gentleness and care. It holds a strong feeling of protectiveness and honestly, Rody doesn't remember the last time someone tried to protect him. But here's this unknown voice — dying, broken yet so selfless and caring.

It clicked.

"Deku...?" The name escapes his mouth before he even realizes what's going on and oh, his voice sounds so utterly pathetic and scared. Is he scared? Is he really scared right now? He is, he knows he most definitely is but admitting things such as feelings isn't his strong suit. He's not scared, his eyes aren't watery. He's just panicked because this dumbass is going to get himself killed any second now and this isn't a nightmare and Rody still can't move to help him and he can't lose anyone else please. He can't deal with death, he doesn't know how to.

"Save yourself!"

"I'm not going anywhere!" He yells back.

Rody doesn't have positive opinions about heroes. This one in particular is the reason why. He hates it when someone is suffering and they still feel the need to go ahead and protect a completely fine person. Just like he does with his siblings. He can't be blamed though. They're all he has left, all that he cares for. Heroes have families too, heroes have lost people too and they still lay down their lives for others. Sometimes Rody feels the same when he disregards his own wellbeing. While other times he reminds himself he will never die for some stranger. Heroes confuse him, he doesn't like being confused.

"Rody?" He speaks again. Izuku's voice sounds a bit closer to him than death.

The brunette knows his next words, knows why he's reaching out to him. Rody knows he won't run away either. He can't let him die. He's not going anywhere, not without him, "Shut up!"

"Oh… Rody? Rody, can you hear me?" Izuku's voice is soft and gentle, calm and collected now. It's not breaking, he's not yelling. Rody doesn't believe that he's safe, that he's not actually dying and that was just his nightmare because that's not how nightmares are. He knows it's just a deceitful trick. Izuku is just trying to get him to safety by making him believe he's fine but Rody is not that stupid. He knows when people are lying, he can tell when they're just trying to manipulate him. But he's not in it enough to tell whether or not Izuku was actually lying. He can't tell, he's still in a half asleep state of mind. He doesn't want to tell either because if by any chance he thinks Izuku isn't lying and he manages to get to safety and he never sees those emerald eyes again then it's his fault.

Izuku however seems very unaware of his inner turmoil. There's something that shifts at his side and then the green head's voice feels closer than ever as he speaks in a hushed tone, "It's okay, everything's fine."

"No, it's not! Shut up...! Shut up..." Rody likes to think he's still fighting against those invisible chains despite thinking this isn't a nightmare. He needs to move. Izuku's right there, he can tell he's within his reach. He just needs to get to him, to keep him safe and warm and away from death. He can't let him die, why can't he let him die — since when does he care this much for a stranger? He doesn't know, he doesn't want to know either.

Something warm and firm settles on his back, a hand perhaps. A broken, scarred, gentle hand — one Rody isn't used to. It rubs smooth circles on his back to calm him down, an attempt the brunette would call futile. Hushed sweet words are murmured to him in addition seeing as he isn't quite into it enough to believe anything other than whatever that traitorous mind of him is feeding him. It's not a nightmare, it's real, Izuku's dying but Izuku's also right there, rubbing his back and telling him everything's okay but Rody can't bring himself to believe him. 

"It's just a bad dream, Rody. You're safe. Everything's okay..." The green haired boy's voice is so close to him now, only if he could just reach out his hand and grab him and keep him safe—

With a sharp gasp, grey moonstone eyes flutter open. He stops himself from jolting up in his bed as soft emerald eyes meet his own. Rody just lays there, taking in quick shallow breaths as he takes in Izuku's moonlight face. There's no blood, no debris, no fire, no injuries. The green head is safe, smiling at him and still rubbing his back albeit in a much slower motion now that he knows his friend is awake. In Izuku's left hand is Pino, crying and trembling as the green haired boy lovingly rubs its pink feathery head with his thumb.

So that's why he couldn't feel him nearby. Shitty bird went and woke Izuku up too.

There's no exchange of words, Izuku being too understanding and Rody being too scared to reveal too much. The brown haired boy grounds himself. With the help of the gentle hand on his back, his breathing comes back to normal and he no longer feels like he's on the verge of a panic attack. If his eyes are still watery, it's none of your business. Silence reigns over them for a while before any of them speaks.

"Are you—"

"Sorry—"

They both cut each other off at the same time and promptly shut their mouths close, hoping the other will speak first. But of course neither of them do so. Instead, Rody reaches out a hand (Fuck, why is it trembling) and snatches Pino from Izuku's hand. He's quick to bury the bird underneath him and slide down into his blanket with a stern face. This is stupid, he should've known that was just another nightmare. A little different but a nightmare nonetheless. He can't explain shit to Izuku. Why Pino went to wake him up crying and what was all that Rody mumbled in his sleep. He had an image to live up to and there will be no image left if Izuku finds out about his nightmare at all.

Pino, once again, continues to be a total jerk.

As soon as the bird is taken away from Izuku's hand, it cries and it cries loudly. Rody is so thankful they're staying in an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere and there are no neighbors for Pino to wake up this late tonight. On the other hand, he isn't very thankful for Izuku to be here when this shitty bird decides to have a mental breakdown. Rody works in a frenzy to shut it up. When it doesn't he just cocoons it up in the blanket and shoves it underneath his pillow. Muffled cries could still be heard, unfortunately.

Rody snaps out from halfway murdering his quirk when Izuku speaks up again, "Rody?"

The said boy turns to him, ready to tell him to go back to sleep and that he is fine but Izuku doesn't give him the time to do so, "Is it ok if I stay with you tonight?"

"Why?" His voice comes out monotone but internally he joins Pino in screaming. That's such a dumb question, of course it's because he just had a nightmare but Izuku worded it differently. He doesn't ask if Rody wants him to stay; rather it feels like he's asking for permission, as if he is the one who needs someone else to be with him. Izuku softly replies, "I had a nightmare…"

Manipulative lying little piece of shit, no wonder he's wanted for mass murder.

Silently, Rody scoots to the side, giving Izuku some space on the small bed. After a pause he replies, not quite meeting the other's eyes, "Only if you don't take up the entire bed."

"I won't!" Izuku beams. The boy takes out the cocoon of blanket from underneath Rody's pillow and frees Pino much to the brunette's dismay. He then drapes the blanket over Rody and lies down on the bed next to him. The older boy peeks out from underneath the blanket and sighs and moves a bit closer to the other, draping the blanket over him as well. Mumbling a quick goodnight, Rody closes his eyes.

It was just a nightmare, Izuku's safe, Pino is quiet and the warm and serene atmosphere is enough to lull him back to sleep.

This time, Rody doesn't necessarily remember the details of his dream. He just knows that he was somewhere in a big fuel under the blue sky and there's laughter all around him.

~O~

Welcome to me being obsessed with this dude I know nothing about