When the guys come over, I am not expecting them all to be so down, but for some reason, they are. They all come together, looking glum. Even Joe looks subdued. I have no idea why. But then again, it's not really any of my business.

"What's up?" asks Patrick. It appears I'm not the only one who's noticed.

Pete sighs. "You know what we did yesterday? With the post on the fanbase?" Patrick and I nod. "Well,it appears to have gotten the fans very excited. So excited that they're demanding to know what we're planning on doing."

I frown. "What are you doing?"

"That's the thing," says Andy, looking up from his phone. "We don't know."

"Well, surely you've got some ideas, right? Guys?" Patrick looks at each of the, in turn.

"When we went home, Pete and I tried to work it out, but neither of us had any idea what we were doing. And we can't backtrack now." Oh god. Joe's right.

"So what do you suggest?" Andy asks. He shrugs.

"I don't know."

"Ok, look on the bright side. We've got a fair bit of time to sort this out. I mean, October's a while away," Pete says, trying to be positive, even though he doesn't look very sure himself.

"Yeah, but you miss the point," says Andy. "we still have no idea what we're going to do." Everyone glares at him. "What? I'm just trying to be realistic here." Everyone continues to glare. "Okay, this is creeping me out now."

"One of our fans is here, Andy. Do you want her to know us as we really are?" Joe grits his teeth in mock anger.

"What, a bunch of pizza-obsessed, musically talented misfits? I think I already know," I say, laughing.

"Seriously, though, it's gonna be okay," says Pete. "We've got a while to sort this out. And anyway, I though we were going to practice?"

The others look confused for a minute, and then Joe says, "Oh. Yeah. I'll get out the guitar, then." He disappears into the studio. Andy and Pete look at each other, and then follow him, so Patrick and are left alone. I smile at him.

"You ok?" I ask. He nods.

"Yeah, just a little nervous, I guess. I mean, I'm used to just practicing in front of the guys."

"I can go, if you like," I offer.

"What? No, it's okay! It's nice to have you here, actually."

"Are you sure? Because I could always go to my flat or something..."

No. Please stay. I want you to hear us, properly." Although he looks nervous, Patrick is clearly adamant that I should stay. So I do.

We go into the next room, where the rest of the band are setting up. And by setting up I mean that Pete is staring at his bass like it holds the meaning of the universe, Joe is standing, ready, with his guitar, and Andy's sitting at his drum kit.

"Hi, sorry about that," says Patrick. The guys nod.

"What are we playing, then?" asks Joe.

"Let Lydia decide," says Pete. They all look at me.

"Uh, I guess, um..." I frantically try to think of a Fall Out Boy song. "How about I'm Like A Lawyer The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off?"

They nod. "Sounds good to me," says Andy.

"All right," Patrick says,making a deep breath. "I'm ready.

And then the music starts. And oh god, it's beautiful.

Last year's wishes
Are this year's apologies
Every last time I come home
I take my last chance
To burn a bridge or two
I only keep myself this sick in the head
Cause I know how the words get you {off}

We're the new face of failure
Prettier and younger but not any better off
Bullet proof loneliness
At best, at best

Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you

Collect the bad habits
That you couldn't bare to keep
Out of the woods but I love
A tree I used to lay beneath
Kissed teeth stained red
From a sour bottle baby girl
With eyes the size of baby worlds

We're the new face of failure
Prettier and younger but not any better off
Bullet proof loneliness
At best, at best

I'd forgotten how good this song is. It's so incredible, watching all then do what they do. It's almost as though they've forgotten that I'm here, Patrick especially. He's in a world of his own, his eyes closed, and it's just him and the music. And his face when he sings... He screws up his lovely features in concentration, his expressions changing all the while.

Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you

And then the next bit. This part always stuck in my head when I was a kid, because it was how I felt, and by that point I was cutting, obviously.

The best way
To make it through
With hearts and wrists intact
Is to realize
Two out of three ain't bad
Ain't bad

I smile. This is such a good song, by such a brilliant band, and here they are, doing it in front of me.

Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
(Honeymoon)
Setting in a honeymoon
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I wake up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I wake up next to you
(Honeymoon)

And then it's over. And one thing I know for certain, more than ever before, is...

I love him. I love Patrick Stump.