Ocean Deep: Bangers, Beans & Mash

by AngusEcrivain

Generally, when one wakes in an unfamiliar place, especially when one expected to wake up to see heavy grey clouds, epically proportioned, rolling quickly and violently above one's head, perhaps even the occasional clap of thunder and accompanying flash of lightning or, perhaps, to not even wake up at all, one's first instinct is to panic.

Doing so, of course, almost always proves to be completely and totally fruitless. In fact it quite often worsens whatever situation it is that one finds oneself in which is why, upon waking up in such a manner, Leanne instantly tried to calm herself down.

The incessant beeping was not helping though, not even a little bit and her breathing quickened and her pulse raced, though it was not until she realised she was actually completely and totally naked, that she really began to panic.

It's OK, Leanne. The voice was female and despite its lilting, rather pleasing tone, inhuman. You're safe and well on board the Beautiful Mind. I am Tracy, the ship's interface.

Leanne did not know quite what she had been expecting however in all likelihood, she highly doubted she had expected to be spoken to by any kind of artificial intelligence.

"A ship?" Leanne asked, worries related to her nakedness and the incessant beeping forgotten, temporarily at least. "There's no such thing as a ship with artificial intelligence, definitely nothing as advanced as that!"

"Not one that comes from this world, anyways... I mean, fuck... If Tracy originally came from here there'd be none of this water world shit. I mean, what the fuck's up with that?"

Leanne sat bolt upright, shocked. She had not realised there was anyone else in the room with her, let alone a man with whom she was unfamiliar.

She was not shy, far from it in fact, but even so a girl had to have a little mystery and dignity.

"Have you seen that movie? It's pretty cool, and Kevin Costner has gills and shit... Anyways..." The man paused, lit a cigarette and strode over towards Leanne with his hand outstretched. "The name's Mac."

Leanne took his hand in hers and shook it, firmly.

"Leanne," she replied. "But then again, you already know that."

"Aye, Tracy's got some pretty sweet tech. Much more than just a dimension-hopping pretty face, so she is. But anyways, what d'you say we find you some clothes and I'll show you around? Pretty sure Tracy can have us a slap-up meal ready in the galley come the tour's end."

"Before we do that," said Leanne as Mac rummaged around in a cupboard on the other side of the room. "My friend, Jake... Did you pull him out of the water, too?"

"There was no one else with you, I'm sorry," Mac replied. "Tracy, you didn't pick up any other signs of human life in the vicinity?"

I did not, replied Tracy. There was a lot of blood in the water surrounding the raft. It is my suspicion that had there been anyone else there, they were eaten by something big and hungry.

"Fucking Pleuros..."

***

However impressive the Beautiful Mind was and she was, in truth, a hugely impressive feat of engineering and technology, the tour was sullied for Leanne thanks to the news of Jake's likely death-by-Liopleurodon. Even the vastness, the sheer beauty of the vessel's Core Dimension Drive could not put a smile upon her face.

That being said, as she and Mac approached the galley a smell unlike any she had ever experienced permeated her nostrils and despite her best efforts to prevent it from happening, she began to salivate.

"What is that smell?!"

"Sausages," replied Mac, shrugging. "Reckon Tracy's doing her specialty; a big fuck-off Yorkshire pudding loaded with bangers, beans and mash."

Moments later Mac's assumption was proven to be true and the two of them sat at the galley's table, before two steaming and delectably scented plates of food.

Television? Tracy asked. I wouldn't normally ask, as you know, but as you have company...

"If our guest doesn't mind, aye. Must be about time for the next ACNV episode, anyways!"

// Alpha Capella Nova Vega

by elveloy //

Light years away from Earth, a thousand black ships winked into normal space. One moment there was nothing, the next, a fleet of ships blocked the skies over Bellatru, in the heart of the Orion constellation. People froze in their tracks, staring up in amazement at this first sign of another sentient race.

In the orbiting space station above Bellatru, Patrol officers instinctively raced for their ships. Nothing about the visitors looked like a friendly delegation.

The black ships fired without warning. The space station exploded in a soundless ball of flame, incinerating the Patrol ships as they scrambled to launch. Lasers burned swathes through the planet settlements, destroying buildings and killing thousands in their path.

In less than an hour, Bellatru was a smoking ruin. Then, the visitors launched the ground troops.

Returning from a journey to the neighbouring planet of Mu, the star ship Nova Vega was overwhelmed with distress signals. Approaching cautiously—with cloaking shields engaged—they saw the fleet of black ships hovering like a cloak of Bellatru bats over what had been a thriving colony when they'd left two days ago. Her crew gazed at the destruction with horror. Images from the ground showed alien fighters striding through the ruins. The officers on the bridge peered closely at the figures on the display screen, curious despite their consternation to see what they were facing, then drew in a collective gasp. Although their bodies looked almost human, the aliens' heads appeared to be machines.

"Monsters! We have to attack!" exclaimed First Officer Erix.

"Impossible, there are hundreds of them!" argued Second Officer Rohn. "We should wait, then hunt for survivors."

With a heavy heart, the Captain shook her head. "No. We can't afford either of those options, much as we might want to. We must return to Earth immediately and warn the government. This is an invasion."

~~~

Jetta Carawei glanced briefly at the brightly coloured promo someone had placed outside the entrance to the holo-room. It advertised that week's entertainment scheduled on their star ship, Alpha Capella. In vivid Tri-D colour, the image covered every cliché the average dirt-sider imagined when they thought of space. A pretty young man in a sleek bodysuit stood on top of a molten rock, brandishing a flaming sword, with a scantily clad girl at his feet. The star speckled sky was filled with spaceships attacking a burning city while a giant alien head looked on. Space Wars! screamed the headline. Jetta's lip curled scornfully. She supposed it was better than last week's offering, Fray, a holovid about vampire slayers, for Earth's sake.

An arm came around her waist, and a low voice whispered hoarsely in her ear. "May the force be with you!"

Jetta jumped and pushed the arm away. "Idiot!" she said, half laughing as she turned to gaze down into the gray eyes of Ari Zimon, her favourite navigator, and current lover. At five foot six, his head barely reached her shoulder.

"Doesn't this... this rubbish... bother you?" she asked. "Here we are, each one of us with at least three degrees, years of training and personal hi-tech upgrades and people are still producing crap like that! Flaming swords, for Earth's sake!"

"I find your lack of faith disturbing," Ari teased. "What does it matter? It makes people happy. It's only entertainment."

"I suppose so," Jetta conceded. "It just bothers me that people are so out of touch with reality. If we ever faced a real war in space, flaming swords just wouldn't cut it!" She couldn't help smiling at the accidental pun.

"That was terrible, Jetta," Ari screwed up his face in mock horror. "But—holo-vids aside—what I really came to talk about is whether I can come with you on the next shuttle trip. Giacomo is still feeling the effects of that curry he ate on Alcyon."

Jetta frowned. "Has he seen the Medic?"

"Yes. It's not a virus, just an allergic reaction to one of the ingredients. Medic Calliston says it's simply a matter of drinking lots of fluids and being patient."

"In that case, I'd be very happy to have you on board instead, little man," Jetta smiled.

"Judge me by my size, do you?" grumbled Ari. "I may be short, but you know I'm your best navigator!"

"That you are," agreed Jetta. "You'll need to suit up." She checked the top right quadrant of her augmented vision for their expected arrival time at Richter. "And so do I. I'll meet you in the shuttle in thirty minutes."

The Alpha Capella was in the Pleiades, hundreds of light years from Earth, on its way to Richter after calling at Alcyon, Earth's furthest colony. Named for its star, Alcyon was going to be a way-station on humanity's voyage toward distant Deneb.

Alcyon had been a barren rock before being terraformed into a planet where humans could survive while they constructed the extensive facilities needed to be a base for further exploration. Domes covered the settlements, providing breathable air and protection from cosmic radiation. Although hydroponics produced the required quantity of food, ships from Earth, like the Alpha Capella, came several times a year with essential supplies.

But Alcyon was not the only significant planet in the system. Further out, in the same solar system, was the tiny half-frozen planet of Richter. Battered by constant storms and unable to sustain life or indeed any form of structure on the surface, a cavern had been hollowed out, deep under the surface. Isolated, with strictly controlled access, Richter was the perfect location for a research laboratory. Nothing unauthorised could get in—or out.

Alpha Capella was too big itself to get near Richter Station, but it carried a couple of shuttles, for just such a purpose.

Inside the shuttle Major Tom, Jetta's hands gripped the armrests of her seat. Wired into the ship's computer, her brain was concentrating on bringing them down to the tiny black hole in the planet's surface which was the entry to Richter Station. Ari had got them to this point, now it was up to her as pilot to make the landing.

Slowly, fighting the winds every metre, Jetta brought the shuttle down through the opening, then carefully descended a long shaft through the planet's outer layer until they reached the bottom. As soon as Major Tom touched the floor, doors slid shut above them, sealing the airlock and enclosing them in a small chamber.

Jetta and Ari stayed seated as the decontamination unit did its job, and then air rushed in to fill the chamber and they were able to disengage from their helmets.

"Good job," murmured Ari approvingly, as he stretched his back.

"That was a rough one," agreed Jetta. She removed her helmet and ran a hand through her short hair. "Should be easier on the way out, though," she added.

A couple of men and a woman wearing dark green singlesuits entered the chamber.

"Attention, Major Tom," called one of the men. "You are clear to disembark."

"Opening hatch now, Richter," replied Jetta. She and Ari climbed out into the chamber and shook hands with the technicians, who introduced themselves as Chang, Myke, and Parish. All five of them then clambered inside the shuttle's hold to unload the eagerly awaited cargo.

"Any news?" asked Chang. Although ships could travel at FTL speeds, there was still no way for information to travel except by ship or radio. While radio was good enough for broadcasts from Alcyon—only a few minutes away—it was hopeless for news from anywhere else in the galaxy.

"Got a box of Tri-D news chips and the latest holo-vids from Earth for you," said Jetta, handing Chang the box, "but nothing's changed much since our last visit. Federated Alliance is still in power on Earth, although I hear Mars has gone Green—politically speaking, of course!"

"How's your work here coming along?" asked Ari, civilly, expecting a generic answer. A lot of what Richter Station did was classified, though not all of it.

"We have a new strain of lichen that we're hopeful about, for outside use on Alcyon," said Parish, her eyes lighting up.

"And I've been working on a modified nanobyte," Myke jumped in, full of eager enthusiasm. "I call it my metal-muncher because it— ow!" He flinched as Chang elbowed him in the ribs, hard. "... looks like a bug..." Myke improvised. "It's just an idea..." he backtracked hastily, looking warily at Chang.

"Sounds interesting," lied Jetta, politely. "Is that the last of them?" she asked, turning, as Parish came out with only one small bio-box in her hands.

"Yep, that's it," said Parish. "Will you come down to the staff quarters for a cup of coffee and a chat? Some of our team haven't seen anyone from outside for months and I know they're looking forward to seeing you."

"Of course," said Jetta after a quick check of her wristcom. There were no urgent messages and there were still a few hours before Alpha Capella was scheduled to depart.

Jetta was just finishing her second coffee and starting to think about departing, when her wristcom sounded an urgent alarm.

Startled, she hadn't even time to read the message before alarms sounded throughout the room. Every single wristcom was signalling an emergency warning.

"What the fuck is happening?" she exclaimed.

"I don't fucking believe it!" cried Chang, staring at the headline on his wrist. "We've been invaded... by aliens!"

Trying to block out the rising hysteria around her, Jetta read through the entire message file sent to her from the Alpha Capella. A courier ship had just arrived in the Pleiades from Earth, bearing news of the destruction of Bellatru. Apparently, every courier ship that could be spared was being sent to Earth's colonies with the same information, alerting people to the danger and warning them to arm themselves as best they could.

All FTL-capability ships were being recalled immediately to Earth to fight the invaders.

"All the ships? Even you and the Alpha Capella?" asked Parish, suddenly realising what that would mean for their small colony. They'd be on their own. Possibly forever, if Earth lost the war.

"You can't just desert us!" someone protested.

Jetta was already on her feet, Ari beside her.

"I'm sorry but we have to go," she told the Richter's technicians. "The Alpha Capella will be getting ready to return to Earth."

Ari was focussed on his wristcom, frowning. I can't reach 'Capella," he told Jetta. "Something must be interfering with the frequency. Can you get through?"

~~~

A fleet of black ships winked into normal space. One moment there was nothing, the next, they filled the skies over Alcyon. A hundred ships peeled off to pursue the heat signature that registered on their screens at the edge of the solar system.

Again, the ships fired without warning. Lasers cracked the domes over Alcyon's settlements like boiled eggs. Most of the inhabitants died before they even realised they were under attack.

In less than an hour, Alcyon was destroyed.

On board the Alpha Capella, Communications Officer Petrikov, was the first to pick up the distress signals automatically generated from Alcyon when a dome was breached.

Captain Layne was trying unsuccessfully to make contact with Jetta and Ari. "We need the Major Tom back here immediately," she was saying when Petrikov interrupted.

"Captain? We have a problem. Multiple domes on Alcyon have been breached." He stared at her, wide-eyed.

"The invaders?" Layne was quick to make the connection.

"That would be my guess," answered Petrikov. "I can't see all the domes failing at once through natural causes." Even as he spoke, his fingers were working rapidly, bringing up images of the surrounding space. "Unexplained heat coming our way, Captain," he announced in terse tones.

"How long before they reach us?"

"I'd say—at the current speed they're travelling—eleven minutes."

Where was the shuttle? Captain Jayne kept her face expressionless as her mind raced through the calculations—twice—but even if the Major Tom was on its way out of Richter right now, it would take too long. Much as she hated the thought of leaving any of her crew behind, she couldn't justify risking her ship for the sake of the shuttle. She took a deep breath and gave the order with no sign of her inner turmoil.

"All stations, prepare for immediate departure. Now!"

~~~

"They've gone without us," Jetta and Ari looked up from their wristcoms, and stared at each other, incredulous.

"Worse than that. The invaders are here, in the Pleiades. Alcyon has been attacked." Okeke, the Station Manager sounded dazed. He shook a ciga-stick from his packet of Ecrivain's Specials and proceeded to suck strongly on the mild tranquiliser. "All the domes have been destroyed. Everyone there must be dead."

"What can we do?" asked Parish.

"Are we next?" asked someone else, his voice rising. "Can they find us here?"

"May I suggest switching to minimum operating function immediately?" Jetta addressed Manager Okeke. "Cut all radio transmissions and make us as hard to see as possible."

"Good idea," agreed Okeke, trying hard to maintain a semblance of control, despite the fact that he was sure his hands were trembling. He gave the order and his team bustled about, turning off or at least down, all their equipment.

Jetta stepped closer, keeping her voice low. "I know your projects would normally be classified, but I think we've moved beyond that now. Is there anything here your teams have been working on that might serve as a weapon? We still have the Major Tom. It's not equipped with FTL so we can't leave the solar system, but we could get near the enemy if we had anything that would do them damage."

"No weapons that I'm aware of," answered Okeke glumly, "but I'll call a meeting of the section heads and have them review all their programs. At the very least it will give them something positive to focus on."

"In the meantime, Ari and I will go over all the information about the invaders that the Alpha Capella forwarded to us before she left," agreed Jetta. "There must be something we can do!"

Their faces got grimmer and grimmer as they read the reports. So far the invaders had destroyed two whole colonies without losing a single ship. Used to dealing with criminals and the occasional planetary dispute, Earth's Patrol ships were not equipped for intergalactic war. Earth's government had felt they had no choice but to concentrate all their forces in defence of Earth, which meant colonies were on their own, reliant on whatever trading ships they could arm and local law enforcement agencies for their defence.

Information on the invaders was sketchy. Apart from the observation that they appeared to be part flesh, part metal, there was not much known. No-one knew where they came from. Jetta imagined that capturing one of the aliens and—even better—one of their ships for analysis, would be a top priority.

"Lieutenant Carrawei?" Okeke drew her attention. "Most of our current research is for improved terraforming—plant modification and so forth. However, our medical unit has some stocks of the Influenza K virus, which we've been using to improve the vaccine. I've no idea whether the K-flu would have any effect on the invaders but it might be worth a shot. It certainly killed enough humans before we got it under control."

Jetta chewed her lip. She'd been hoping for something more along the lines of a fission missile or rocket lasers, but if K-Flu was all they had... Viruses might be less dramatic than missiles but they had certainly wiped out populations in the past. Of course, she had no way of knowing how they would affect a being who was part machine. That reminded her of something... Jetta hunted through her recent memory. Myke. She looked around.

"Where's Myke? What about that nanobyte research he was talking about? The metal muncher?"

Okeke pulled a face. "Still in the developmental stages as I understand it, but... Myke?" He spoke into his wristcom. "Can you come to the meeting room? And bring a sample of your project if possible."

A few minutes later, Myke entered the room, carrying a sealed glass jar very carefully in both hands. What looked like a pile of rust was in the bottom of it.

"What the—?" exclaimed Okeke before he could help himself.

"This is what was left of my spoon after my Munchers got to it," explained Myke, holding on to the jar. "Let them come in contact with metal and they adapt to its structure...then, eat it."

Everyone stared at him.

"How do you stop them?" asked Ari.

"You don't. Not until there's no metal left."

"Aren't they dangerous to have around?" asked Jetta, looking uneasily at all the metal fixtures and equipment surrounding them.

"Extremely. That's why I conduct all my experiments in glass," answered Myke. "I haven't worked out how to control them yet," he continued enthusiastically, "but I'm working on it. Just think, the ultimate garbage disposal."

"Do they work on all metals?" asked Ari.

"Anything comprised of a unit cell, a repeating array of atoms in a crystal form. Iron, platinum, zinc—even gold."

"Steel?"

"Yes, and aluminium for that matter."

"I'm guessing all those ships have metal in them somewhere, and even more interesting, the invaders themselves appear to be part metal, from all accounts." Jetta was starting to feel excited. "This could be what we're looking for. We just have to get the nanobytes from here to the invaders."

"How many containers do you have? Could we pack them inside missiles, or put them in canisters that would fit in Major Tom's firing chutes?" asked Ari.

Myke looked dubious. "I suppose so, but you have to realise, if even one of them breaks open inside the chute... they'd eat the metal in your ship. You couldn't stop them."

"I think it's worth the risk," said Ari, looking steadily at Jetta, "but it's your call."

Jetta looked back into his gray eyes, knowing that they'd be risking their lives for a gamble that might or might not pay off.

She turned to Okeke. It wasn't just their own lives at risk here. If the Major Tom was destroyed, Richter Station would be completely isolated.

"I agree with Ari, it's worth the risk. Let's give this a shot, shall we?"

She waited for Okeke's nod of agreement, before asking Myke, "So what do you need to get this happening?"

Two hours later, Major Tom was loaded—very carefully—with eight missiles, each containing a glass cylinder of Myke's "Munchers," and Jetta and Ari were readying for departure.

"Good luck! Get as many of the bastards as you can," said Okeke, and shook each of them by the hand.

"He doesn't think we're going to come back, does he?" Ari commented quietly to Jetta as they sat in the cockpit, attaching their helmets.

"Those fuckers aren't going to know what hit them!" said Jetta forcefully, dodging the question. "Ready?" she grinned suddenly.

Ari grinned back. "Let's go."

The doors slid open above their heads and Jetta eased the Major Tom gently up, and began ascending the long shaft to the surface. They came out into space without mishap and set course toward Alcyon.

"There must be a thousand ships," murmured Ari in awe, as they drew near, taking advantage of the space station debris to shield their approach. The sky was thick with shuttles streaming back and forth between the ships and the planet's surface. It was a daunting sight.

"I'm surprised they haven't seen us yet. Perhaps they haven't bothered to set a proper watch. Over-confident. After all, they haven't experienced any resistance so far!"

"Whatever the reason, we'll try and get as near as we can to the thickest cluster before we start firing. We want to take out as many as we can." If Myke's invention works, of course! Jetta didn't say that aloud.

The Major Tom was so close—perhaps only a thousand kilometres from the nearest ship—when one began to change direction toward them.

Ari held the shuttle on course, unwilling to lose even a fraction of momentum by changing tack. Jetta waited until the invader ship was almost facing in their direction before calling, "Fire one!" The first missile streamed toward the black ship, but there was no time to wait and watch for the outcome. "Fire two!"

Too far away to see what was happening with the naked eye, Ari studied the screen to see if they had made any impact, even as he followed Jetta's instructions. "Fire three!" There was no way to alter the direction of the missiles without altering the direction of the ship. However, the huge number of invader ships would work to their advantage. If the missile missed one, there were plenty of others behind for it to hit.

"Fire four!" Jetta's voice remained calm. "How are we going, Ari? Can you see any changes?"

"Not so far. Wait—I think we hit one. It's flickering on the screen."

"Excellent! Fire five!"

"Jetta? There's a missile heading our way." Ari's voice was even.

"Fire six!"

Ari held his breath as the missile flew toward them, displaying as a red dot on the screen. Closer... closer...

"Fire seven!"

"Ha! Missed us!" cried Ari, turning to grin at Jetta, as the red dot whipped past them.

But Jetta was not grinning back.

"Fuck!" she said. "We had a misfire. Number seven is stuck in the chute."

Ari shut his eyes for a moment to concentrate on the controls, trying to clear the chute as delicately as he could. "No good. It's jammed," he reported. "Shall I fire eight? It's in the other chute."

"Too late," said Jetta in a strange voice. "The glass must have broken. The chute is dissolving as we speak." Red warning lights lit up all over the console unit.

Inside their helmets, Jetta and Ari exchanged a last look. Ejecting was not an option. Who in their right mind would want to float aimlessly in space in a suit until they died? It could be days, weeks, or months before any Earth ships returned, if they ever did—there was no way of telling.

Jetta took a deep breath, then smiled. "Let's do it. Turn up the rebel bass!"

Ari didn't hesitate. He triggered the final missile and exploded the shuttle, sending thousands of small fragments into the invading fleet.