wanted to write some poetry, or play the poet, so i guess i'll just do it.

idk if my english is, or will be, correct, i just wanted to write something in this language, for once. (maybe it has to do with someone, or maybe not, maybe it is just me and my imagination, me and my fucked up, shitty brain).

it's almost 3am, 'killswitch melodies' (it's an album) by flawed mangoes is now playing on britney, says the cellphone. how i love this artist, and his art. i really think that his music kind of saved my life, at a certain time, and i'm forever thankful for this.

so, it's almost 3am like i said, and i still don't know who i am thinking 'bout. is that you, m? or you, my other m? or is it just me, am i writing for myself and myself only right now? nothing can help me to find the answer actually.

so i'm just writing, my heart is bleeding on the paper, a virtual paper, actually, but still paper tho. maybe it is just my head crackling on this same paper? maybe it's not my heart, neither my head, but my soul and my soul only.
my vocabulary isn't that expanded, i'm sorry, i'll probably use the same words, over and over again, due to the evident lack of knowledge in english i have.

so, i was saying, for whom am i writing right now? is that for you, my love ?
or is it just for the ghosts that still own me, despite all the efforts i put on forget them - at least forgive.

i say that type of shit but to be honest, i already forgive them, those mesmerizing ghosts floating all above my head, dancing in circles around my mind like a procession of millenials witches did years and years before i even think of existing, before my soul was even born in this freaking, scary and dehumanized world we all live in.

i think i get lost in the process of writing poetry, as i was about to do at the beginning.
but the thing is, i don't really know what i want to say, what i want to express with those words poets usually use. it's not pretty, "usually use". it's actually kinda ugly, honestly.

but who cares, when i am the only one writing this shitty text, and reading those words full of nonsense.

i don't know who i am writing to right now. i don't even know if it's for me, for them, or for someone else. i don't even know who i am, to be honest. i don't know where i am, i don't know what i am doing right now, i just know i wanted to write something, at the beginning of this, let's say, text ? kind of a poetry thing, but not really, depends on how ugly it seems to be in my eyes.

the corrector is getting on my nerves at this time, wanting to correct me for forget the maj for every pronoun i use. orh, just fuck off, i don't want to write in maj, i just want to express myself even tho i don't know what to express, neither who is this 'myself' i am talking - more like writing - about.

also, because i don't have money to pay for the premium pass for this specific music app, i have to deal with publicities and it begins to kinda drive me crazy, for being overdramatic.

there, take a deep breath and start to talk in a more poetic shit, you know u can, and need to, do it.
the lightscreen is about to have the death of me not gonna lie (the death of my eyes, for being more specific, but it doesn't change much).

to start, i would like to say that i love you. or also thank you, maybe.
i might be quick, my alarm will ring at exactly three and a half. and i need a lot of sleep, more like a lot of rest but still. i guess it's not for tonight. no big deal, i will sleep next week, i hope so (and i already know it'll not be the same as i planned, but hey, it doesn't really matter, right?).
so, like i was saying, i would like to say i love you, in the first place. maybe thank you.

i'm not talking to myself. i know it's pretty obvious but still tho.

as i started this - not gonna lie, shitty - poem (it has a lot of repetitions in it, i'm sorry), i will finish it by saying,

unconditionally, and for a long time to come, not to say forever,

i love you.