Chapter 36

"Are you okay now?" Renjun asked Eunmi, who was sitting across him.

She scoffed, "Okay? In what sense?" She laughed bitterly. "If you're referring to me being sick last night, I'm good... but if you're referring to..." She sighed. "If you were referring to the both of us... ha! I wish I'm okay.."

"Yah, it's okay to cry..." He sighed, throwing a box of tissue that was on their table.

She glared at the guy, "I really appreciate the help, Renjun." She sniffed.

"What happened back there anyways? What did he tell you?" Renjun asked, watching his friend wipe her tears away.

"Things went well at the beginning..." She sighed. "But not until I decided to talk about us..." She laughed bitterly. "I thought he's over it because he was there, and he was taking care of me... but I was wrong."

"What did you say, exactly?" He asked.

"I kinda asked him why he was making things hard for me, because I haven't move on, as you can see..." She chuckled bitterly.

"And then?"

"He told me if I was the only one who had a hard time... it's true though... I only think about my feelings. I never think about his or anybody else's..." She sighed. "Oh god the head ache's coming back..." She said dramatically when Jisung approached their table.

The younger frowned, "Am I not a friend to you, noona?" He faked a cry.

She rolled her eyes and pinched his cheeks, "Aigoo Jisungieeeeeee~" She laughed when she pinched his cheeks.

"Yah, noona!" He said, trying to swat Eunmi's hand away.

***

Taeyong sat beside his brother who seemed to be lost in his own thoughts.

"Yah. Are you okay?" He asked.

The younger just sighed while looking away.

Taeyong patted his back, "What happened last night? It's already our third day here and yet you two still aren't talking to each other. You haven't made any progress, Mark... I thought you want her back?"

"Hyung, when the heck did I say that? I never said that." Finally, Mark replied.

Taeyong actually made that up. Mark never said that. Well, he wish that Mark said that, because they could clearly see that the two are still in love with each other. They were just too stupid to see it themselves.

He laughed, "I was just kidding, Mark..." He sighed. "Anyways, I was asking you... what happened last night? She was sick but you left her in her room crying..."

And he just remembered that she was sick. That he was supposed to take care of her last night. That he was supposed to look after her.

"Hyung, I screwed up..." He buried his face in his palms. "I don't want things to be awkward between the two of us, that's why I wanted to take care of her but I ruined it..."

"Are you sure that's what you want to do?" Taeyong asked. "Are you sure that you just don't want to be awkward with each other? Is that really all?"

"Hyung what are you—"

"What I'm saying is make your move, Mark. Don't keep on hesitating and regretting because you didn't make your move." Taeyong sighed. "Keep your goal. What do you really want to do?"

Mark looked down and stayed silent.

"Do you want her back?" Taeyong asked.

It was just a simple question, yet Mark couldn't answer it.

Taeyong stood up, deciding to leave him alone since he wasn't answering.

"Hyung." Mark stood up to stop his brother from leaving.

Taeyong turned around to look at his brother.

He was looking down while playing with his fingers.

"Hyung, I want her back. Help me..." He looked at Taeyong straight in the eye.

***

Mark watched the two, Eunmi and Renjun from a far while they were singing at the karaoke. He was sitting beside Taeyong and they were at the drinks section.

"Hyung, I don't get it..." Mark sighed. "What's with Renjun that isn't with me..."

Taeyong laughed, "I never knew that Mark Lee is like this when jealous."

The younger glared at him.

"Could you chill?! He loves you, okay?" Taeyong said.

"Oh there you are." Wendy said and the two looked at her. "Only the two of you are missing out, I suggest that you should join us at the karaoke too."

"We'll be following you, noona." Taeyong nodded.

The two stood up and went inside the karaoke, and Mark wasn't expecting the scene he would see. Renjun was dedicating a song for her, and he was looking straight in her eyes.

"na neoman jotamyeon (na ijeneun neoyege)
na neoman jotamyeon (ni namjaga dwae bolkke)
na neoman jotamyeon (neo ijeneun nayege)
ujeongi anin yeoja chingu"

If you're okay with it (Now for you I)
If you're okay with it (I'll try to be your man)
If you're okay with it (Now to me you're)
My girlfriend, it's not just friendship

Renjun held her hand in the end, causing her to smack him in the head using the mic.

"Next song!!!!" Renjun cheered when he got a perfect 100.

Eunmi selected the next song and it played.

Mark looked at the screen when he saw the song.

"eoryeomputan gieoge (gieoge)
geumajeodo ijen kkwae himihae (himihae)
ireumjocha jal tteooreuji ana (Yeah)
geunareun neomu ttoryeotande (Yeah yeah)
eojjeomyeon neon Heartbreaker
nae mameul apeuge haetteon ge bunmyeonghande
ireoke amureochi aneun nal bomyeon
ijen da gwaenchaneunga bwa"

In the faint memories
Even now those are still pretty vague
Even your name that I kept following isn't appearing
That day was so clear
Maybe you're a heartbreaker
I'm sure you made my heart hurt
If you look at me like nothing happened
Then I guess everything's fine now

Eunmi started singing, and his heart beat started to beat fast. He knew that the song she picked was about it. Every song was about him, anyways.

"geuraetteon neol uyeonhi majuchin geoya
hayake icheojin neoneun tto geureoke
seucheo jinaganeun baramcheoreom neon
sarajeo ga jayeonseure"

I just happened to meet you
You're like that again in white disappearance
You pass by just like the wind
You disappear naturally

Eunmi suddenly remembered the day she came back. She was invited to sing at the graduation ceremony. It was never planned. It just happened that she received and email from the school, inviting her to sing.

And of course, she said yes, because finally, she's seeing Mark. After all those months without any communication, everything will be back to normal. Well, that's what she thought.

"I did it all with a smile on my face
nae gieoge sarajin heunjeokdeuri
nayege dashi doraolkka bwa
useumyeo dashi dollyeobonaelkke
I did it all with a smile on my face
amudo apahaji anado dwae
meoreojeo ganeun neol butjapji ana
nan useumyeo neol tteonabonae
With a smile on my face"

I did it all with a smile on my face
The traces have disappeared in my memories
Maybe they'll come back to me
But I'll just smile and send them back
I did it all with a smile on my face
No one has to be hurt
I don't grab onto you as you go away
I want to send you off with a smile
With a smile on my face

Mark froze when he heard the lyrics. Does that mean she's moving on from him? It can't be...

It can't be happening.

Not now.

Not ever.

"hanchameul meonghani seoseo
jeomanchi meoreojeo gan neol barabone
wae ireoneunji nado ihaega an dwae
neol bonaetteon geunalcheoreom
mureosseo iyuga mweoni
amu mal eopshi nal kkok ana jweotgo
geuge uriye kkeuchin geol arasseo
geureoke meoreojeo gan neo"

I stood there blankly for a long time
I weakly look at you who is far
I don't understand why I'm like this
Just like the day, I let you go
I asked you "Why?"
But you just hugged me without saying anything
That was when I knew it was our end
That's how you got far away

Eunmi looked at Mark who also happened to be looking at her. Mark was the first one to avert his gaze, not wanting to be caught.

"sashil neoye daehan modeun geon seonmyeonghae
ni ireum nunppit maltukkaji modeun ge
(nunppit maltukkaji modeun ge)
saranghaetteon gieok maeum gipsugi
mudeo dullae jayeonseure (Yeah)"

Actually, everything about you is so clear
Your name, your eyes, everything
(Your eyes, everything)
The memories of me loving you
they just bury inside my heart naturally

"Yah." Taeyong nudged his brother who was looking down.

Mark didn't respond and just let his tears flow. He looked down, so that no one would see him crying.

Now, he's feeling what she felt.

"I did it all with a smile on my face
nae gieoge sarajin heunjeokdeuri
naege dashi doraolkka bwa
useumyeo dashi dollyeobonaelkke
I did it all with a smile on my face
amudo apahaji anado dwae
meoreojeo ganeun neol butjapji ana
nan useumyeo neol tteonabonae
With a smile on my face"

I did it all with a smile on my face
The traces have disappeared in my memories
Maybe they'll come back to me
But I'll just smile and send them back
I did it all with a smile on my face
No one has to be hurt
I don't grab onto you as you go away
I want to send you off with a smile
With a smile on my face

"Mark. Hey..." Taeyong poked his shoulders. "Is everything alright?"

Without looking down, Mark nodded.

He's certain about one thing.

He was hurt.

"weonhandamyeon na isseulkke isseulkke
yeogi idaero na isseulkke naega isseulkke"

If you want, I'll just stay, I'll just stay
Here like this, I'll just stay, I'll just stay

Eunmi meant it. She sang the last line and looked at Mark, who was looking down.

Mark stood up and left the room, not bothering to tell anyone why.

***

"Have you seen Mark? I haven't seen him since this morning..." Eunmi approached Jisung who was playing his phone.

Jisung smirked at her, "Why are you looking for him?"

"Look, I'm just curious, okay?" She rolled her eyes.

He shrugged, "Taeyong-hyung!!" He called.

Taeyong approached them and stood beside Eunmi.

"Why?" He asked Jisung.

"Noona is looking for Mark-hyung.." Jisung said, his eyes never leaving the screen.

"I'm not! I was just curious!" She defended herself.

Taeyong laughed at the girl's reaction.

"To answer your question, he's inside his room. He told me he isn't feeling well. I don't even know why.." He sighed. "Oh yeah, could you do me a favor and bring his food up in his room? He haven't eaten anything since this morning..."

"Why me?!" She asked.

"Just do it, noona... I'm sure you want to take care of him too..." Jisung smirked.

***

"Hyung, I'm not hungry, leave me alone." Mark said, covering his whole body using his blanket.

"Pabo, I'm not Taeyong-oppa." She sighed and placed the tray on the bedside table.

Mark's eyes widened when he heard her voice. "E-Eunmi?!" I'm sure hyung was the one who planned this!!! Well if yes, I have to thank him later.

He sat up and slowly opened his eyes.

"Taeyong-oppa told me that you haven't eaten anything since this morning. Why?" She sat on the bed.

"I... I wasn't hungry." Mark answered.

"Oh yeah? Up until now? Don't play jokes with me." She had a stern look on her face, as if she doesn't want to be there.

She stood up and was about to leave the room. She doesn't want things to be awkward between the two of them again, that's why she'll be leaving.

"I'm sorry..." Mark suddenly said, making her stop.

Eunmi looked at him, her heart was beating fast, but she had a straight face on. "Are you drunk again?" She raised a brow.

"Ani... I'm not drunk..." He looked down. "I'm completely sober... and I remember everything that happened when I got drunk..."

She wanted to bury herself alive. "You.. what?!"

Mark took a deep breath. This is it! "Everything I said was true... When... W-When I told you to stay.... I meant it... please don't leave me again..."

Okay I may or may not have to thank Jeno for telling me those before.

Eunmi stopped when he heard a faint sob escape from his mouth. "A-Are you... crying?"

Mark immediately wiped his tears away. "I'm sorry for being a jerk... I-I'm sorry if I never listened to you... I'm sorry if I just think about my feelings a-and not yours... I'm sorry for blaming you for everything that happened to me..." He sobbed while hugging his knees.

Eunmi covered her mouth to prevent herself from sobbing too. She looked at Mark who was hugging his knees.

"Y-You don't know how hard it was for me... how hard it was to watch you with Renjun all the time... It hurts, and I-I... I feel like I've been stabbed a hundred times..." Mark sobbed, punching his chest. "I-It hurts... right here..." He pointed at his chest. "I-It hurts because I have no right to be hurt... It hurts because I can't be the one to sing with you.."

"Y-Yah!!" Eunmi rushed towards him and stopped him from punching his chest. It was the first time that Mark said something to her ever since she came back.

"I was stupid... I-I was stupid for saying those words last night..." Mark sobbed. "I was stupid for leaving you alone and not taking care of you... I was stupid for not realizing that it was our sixth month yesterday... I was stupid for breaking up with you..."

Eunmi held his hand. Mark looked at him in the eye, she was smiling, although she was also crying. "Yah... listen to me..."

Mark hummed, a sign that he was listening.

"I'm sorry for leaving... I'm sorry if I made things complicated for you... I'm sorry if you lost the job you want... I-I'm so sorry..." She said.

Mark wiped her tears away, "Hey... I-It's fine now... Yah, don't cry too! It hurts to see you cry!" He said when she won't stop crying.

"Remember this scene?" She laughed. "This also happened when we confessed." She wiped her tears away. "We were also crying..."

Mark nodded, remembering those times. He leaned forward, making their foreheads touch.

"Eun?"

"Hmm?"

"Eun... I promise I'll make it up to you... Could you be my girl again?" He whispered.

She wasted no time and immediately nodded. Mark wiped his tears away, "Shh... everything's fine now... don't cry..." He smiled at her.

He leaned in and closed the gap between them. She smiled, kissing him back.

Mark was the first one to pull away. "I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled.

Mark hugged her. She hugged back, making the hug even tighter.

***

"By the way, what's with you and Renjun? Why are you two close?" Mark asked once they separated from the hug. He was eating, while Eunmi was sitting beside him on his bed.

She looked at him, "Yah, are you jealous?" She laughed.

"Of course I'm jealous. I'm your boyfriend." Mark said with a straight face and looked at her

She blushed and pushed his face away from him. "Yah! Why are you like this!" She whined.

Mark laughed, "You missed this, don't you?"

She nodded, "I really do..."

"Me too." He smiled. "Now back to the question, what's with you two? I'm dying to know..." He pouted.

She ruffled his hair, "You don't need to worry about Injoonie..." She said innocently.

"Wow and you already have a nickname for him. Okay, cool." He said, frowning.

And Eunmi finds the jealous Mark beside her cute. "Hey..." She said while trying to hide her smile.

"No, go ahead and talk to Renjun." He huffed and scooted away from her.

She scooted closer, "Listen to me."

"Nope." He scooted away.

"Please? I won't stop bugging you until you listen to me." She scooted closer.

He shook his head.

"Please?" She scooted closer.

Mark was left with no choice but to look at her since there weren't any space left.

He sighed. "Fine."

She smiled brightly. "Renjun is just my bestfriend, and I'm helping him get the girl of his dreams because he's too dumb to do it himself." She laughed.

"What? So he doesn't like you?!" He exclaimed.

"Ew! Why would he?!" She said, as if she was disgusted. "That guy's a jerk and I would never date him." She said, emphasizing the word 'never' "He's just like my little brother, trust me..."

"And why would he sing a song while holding your hand?!" He asked

"Didn't you see that I smacked him in the end?!" She backfired.

"Alright, fine." He huffed. "But girl of his dreams, you say?" He asked.

She nodded.

"Who is it?" He asked.

"You know that girl from Jisung and Chenle's class? She's also Chinese." She said.

"Yeah...?" He asked, trying to remember the person's name. "Ning... ningning?" He asked.

She nodded, "Yeah her. Renjun likes her."

"Oh now I remember! Renjun talks about her a lot." He said, finally smiling.

"Are we okay now?" She asked.

He nodded and intertwined their hands. "More than okay."

—tbc.
Songs: Girl x Friend and Smile on my face (EXO)