"Are you surfing?" I ask her back the same questions, being sure she doesn't even know what that is, but instead, she grins her small teeth in a smile for the first time since she has come.

Obviously, she likes it, and I'm wondering how on earth a kid of five is surfing.

"You should show me sometime," I request, mirroring her candy licking.

"Tomorrow? Aunty Feli is taking me to the beach. Are you coming, too?" she asks cheerfully.

"Are you inviting me?"

"Yup," she replies, busying herself with the lollipop again.

"Well... yes. I'll come," I say, and she runs back into the house with no other words as if knowing I'm going to be with them at the beach tomorrow is the only thing she has wanted from me.

I follow her with my thin narrowed eyes, and I keep staring at the sliding doors for a few moments more. I don't even know why I think about going but I guess deep inside I'm curious to meet her mother. I'm curious to see what his "mistake" looks like.

The next day we have officially called it "off day" although is Tuesday.

We've all stopped everything we've had to do and planned to go out to the beach for an easy and relaxing day.

Jason is almost done with the restaurant. I swear he loves the idea more than I do. But then again, for me, it's more of an excuse to run away.

We're one week ahead with the preparations for the opening, but we'll stick with the date initially selected, the 6th of August, exactly three months since my arrival in Italy.

My new house is furnished already. I have no idea what it looks like, as Jason wants to keep it a surprise. We're going to move on the weekend, and as much as I love living with aunt Feli, I can't wait to move into my new house.

Jason has befriended Emillia really fast. You might wonder why.

Well, Jason is surfing. That's right, he has become suddenly the pink elephant in the room and the only attraction for Emillia.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. It's just... the bond that grows between Jason and Emillia is so touching that I can only think of how beautiful that bond would have been between Emillia and Enzo. He's her father, after all.

And then my thoughts switch to my unborn baby and the guilt of keeping its father away.

But then again, why would Enzo treat my baby any differently from the way he treats Emillia? What if he doesn't even want another child? What if... and I forcefully stop my sorrowful thoughts before diving into another whirlpool of sadness and regrets?

I don't dare to think about it. I don't dare to say it. And I'll not risk it.

I stretch my legs lazily in front and slide down in the chair, enjoying the view of a cheerful Jason teaching Emillia surfing tricks and a Massimo playing pricks on them.

Aunt Feli takes a seat next to me and hands me an orange juice.

"You should have one every day, you know?" she tells me, and I smile at her back.

"Thank you, aunt Feli."

"Welcome, sweetie," she replies and joins me in admiring Emillia playing with Jason and Massimo.

"Seems she has a great time, doesn't she?" she says.

"Yeah. Jason looks smitten with her as well," I reply with a smile, sipping from my orange fresh.

"Maybe it's time for him to be a father," aunty says and gives me a meaningful look, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"He's just my guard, aunt Feli," I scold her in my defense, shaking my head at her playful thoughts.

"Oh, don't understand me wrong, sweetie. I know it's not him the father of your baby. But Jason seems to be more than just a guard, Eve. And he's a good kid, really. Not bad looking either," she continues and shifts her eyes to them again.

"Enzo is the father," my mouth speaks by itself, and I do my best to avoid her look but I can still see her from the corner of my eyes sucking in air and pressing one hand on her chest, mouth gaping in shock.

"Che cosa stai dicento?" she bluntly asks unable to hide the impact of my words on her. (What are you saying?)

"Enzo is the father of my baby, aunt Feli. Nobody knows but you. And Jason. And I know I'm asking too much because he's your brother, but I need you to give me time, just a little more time. I want to tell him myself," I say holding high her stunned stare, with coldness in my eyes and high hopes she listens.

"Does your mother know about you two?" she asks the only question I've never thought she'll ask.

"I don't know if she knows, pretty sure she must have figured it out by now."

"Eve, you need to speak to your mother. Or Enzo. There are things you don't know, sweetheart, things that have happened and..."

"I don't want to talk to them, aunt Feli! I don't want to know what has been or is between them. It's just me and my baby and I'll make sure that my baby will not be a second Emillia. My baby will not know the rejection of its father," I reply, my voice going higher pitched with every word.

"Eveline..." she mumbles, but I stand up and make my way back to our cars. I can't take more talking about the subject. It hurts. It hurts missing Enzo the way I do.

Aunt Feli calls my name a few more times, but I don't stop my determined steps. The memories, missing Enzo like missing a part of my body, the battle between my heart that keeps shouting to go back to him and my brain telling me that Enzo might not want another baby, this entire whirlpool of thoughts is taking me down as I feel my knees giving in under the weight of my body.

"Eveline! Eveline, stop!" I hear Jason shouting and running after me.

I keep walking, hoping I can reach the car before I collapse, as my legs are shaking and I can't feel my arms.

Heavy dizziness is invading my head and my vision gets blurry, but before I completely blackout, Jason's strong arms grab me, and I thank God that I can finally give up the struggle to stand on my feet, putting my entire trust in his hold.

"Eve! Eve, look at me! Eveline!" I hear Jason's shouting, hovering above me and lightly shaking my head. I do want to answer him, I do want to speak, but my throat is dry and I'm unable to form any words.

I don't know how long it has passed before I come back to my senses. I blink a few times before I completely open my eyes and realize I'm in my room, at aunt Feli's house.

I suck a deep breath through my nostrils, rolling to one side and meeting my aunt's eyes, looking gently at me with a smile.

"Sweetheart, don't stand up yet," she says.

"My baby..."

"Your baby is fine, and you are fine as well. Sometimes pregnant women do faint, nothing unusual," she replies, coming closer and sitting on the bed.

"We had a doctor here earlier and she gave you some vitamins and something to sleep. Nothing to worry about, it's mostly herbs. And she said everything is normal," she continues, lifting the fearful worries off my chest.

"Thank you, aunt Feli," I tell her, laying back down on the bed.

"Here, you also need to eat, sweetie," she advises, placing a tray with food in front of me and I swear I'm already drooling.

"Oh, God. I'm starving," I reply, fetching the fork, stabbing some pieces of the tortellini that smell heavenly, and shoving them in my mouth.

"Aunt Feli, I'm really sorry for earlier. I didn't mean to be such a brat," I tell her between two chews of tortellini and some smiles.

I glare at her a few times, checking her expression and hoping I haven't been too rude and lost her protection.

Her smile gets brighter and her eyes are sparkling with happiness.

"You cannot imagine how happy I am, Eve," she says, and my eyes widen, and stare at her, wondering what she means.

"Happy?" I mumble.

"My baby brother will be a father again. This is a blessing," she continues and escapes a sob she can't hold back anymore, with a fainted laugh, her joy mixing with tears forming in her black eyes.

I'm staring at her, and my heart is breaking into million pieces, the amount of regret for hearing mom and Enzo talking that day weighing like stones on my chest.

I shouldn't have! I should have never stood rooted to my spot and listened. I should have never found out about them cheating on my dad, I should have never learned of an Enzo falling in love with my mother.

I should have never allowed him to nest so deeply into my soul and let my stupid heart fall so hard for him.

"Yeah... well, I can't change that now, can I?" I reply with regret in my voice, wiping my tears with the back of my hand and shifting my eyes away from aunt Feli's stare.

"Are you regretting it?" she asks, horrified.

"Yes, I do! I do regret falling for him, I do regret having his baby, but I don't regret having a baby," I rasp back at her placing my hand on my slightly bumped belly and biting my tongue for bubbling such painful stupid words.

I don't regret falling for Enzo, but it hurts so much that all I can do to stop falling apart is to deny it.

"Eve..." she breathes at me with a frown, my words shattering any logic of her thoughts.

"They cheated, aunty. They cheated on my dad. They... they had this.... thing, whatever the fuck it has been! And I know about it! Yes, I know about it!"

"Who are they, Eve?" she whispers, totally oblivious to what I say.

"Enzo and mom..." I reply, tears watering my shaking lips, looking at aunt Feli and already becoming unsure of what I say.

"Oh, sweetheart..." she breathes and pulls me into a strong hug. "I'm so sorry, Eve. I can imagine what you are thinking, but there is so much more to that story," she continues, holding my head steady between her hands, looking deeply into my eyes. "There is so much more to that story that you don't know about. And it's not me that you should speak with about it."

"I don't want to hear about it anyway," I pull my head away and start shoving tortellini again into my mouth, chewing nervously.

"Look, I know my brother seems... scary sometimes and I also know that maybe you think he doesn't want Emillia but... he fought for her, Eveline. He fought for a very long time but her mother... they were never together, Eveline," she breathes deeply and squeezes my hand that she has been holding since the beginning of her story.

"And she never accepted to let Emillia stay with Enzo. He has suffered a lot and I've kept telling him that he's a Don. He can do and have whatever he wants. He can take Emillia by force and raise her and give her a proper life but... he believes a child's place is with its mother. He used to sleep in his car in front of their house just to see Emillia, even from far. Having lost a baby brought Enzo to the will of not wanting others, but when Emillia came... I don't think I have ever seen Enzo happier ever before, even though he loathed her mother."

I realize I'm tearing heavily only when aunt Feli cups one of my cheeks and wipes some tears away.

"So, you see sweetheart, it's impossible that Enzo to reject his children. He might have done mistakes in his life, but as a father... he wasn't that lucky and he never took it lightly," she continues and stands up, becoming suddenly distant and making her way to the door.

Before she opens it to leave, she rests her hand on the doorknob and turns toward me one more time.

"Now, I'm going to give you the time you need to think. And decide when to tell him, but I'll not wait for too long. No matter what you think or feel, Eveline, Enzo is the father of that baby, and he has all the rights as a father, and you can't deprive him of that. If you are old enough to become a mother, you should be old enough to take that responsibility for your child as well, not only for yourself," she says and walks out, closing noiselessly the door behind her.

I left her house that day. I told Jason that I wanted to move into my home, and he never questioned. As usual.

I knew she was right, but I hated to be judged.

Aunt Feli didn't oppose, although she was tearing her heart out when we bid our byes, held strongly by Massimo, and I didn't know if she was sorry for me leaving her house or for me being so stubborn and isolating myself from everyone. But I wanted that isolation and I hoped to be left alone, bonding with my baby without the heavy history of my family.

Or at least... at least that's what I thought. Because the day I left for my new home was the first time when I noticed a black SUV following while Jason was driving us to my house.

"We have company," he says, looking worried in the rear mirror and preparing for one hell of a ride.

*****
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